tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84200640850926479292024-03-13T12:09:42.722-07:00Mahaakshay's JournalRevealing Myself To The World, One Blog At A Time ...Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-20619059318654223122023-02-08T08:20:00.001-08:002023-02-08T08:20:59.863-08:00Fall From Heaven …<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">I know what it feels like to be invisible. I know because for the rest of the world, I have always been invisible. No one has asked me my name but since this is my story, I want you to know that my name is Aisha and I hail from Newport, Oregon. I have always been a loner but the one thing that has always kept me happy have been books. That is why, without a second to waste, I took the job of a Librarian when the position </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">opened up</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">. But I think God has a sense of humor </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">‘cause</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> with making me this ‘invisible’ girl, he also made me clumsy. You see how that is a joke, right? I like books, I am a </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">librarian</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> but I always end tripping with those pile of books I carry! I know you are laughing but hear me out, the best part is yet to come. I get paid to remember faces and the likes and dislikes of people and what kind of books they like but I always, and I mean always end up embarrassing myself because I don’t remember who </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">is who</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">! I mean, </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">in this day and age</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">, you might think that Gen Z can just kindle their books but no! They have to come to the </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">library</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and they have to come to the counter and see my blank expression when I forget who they are! Misery had a discount offer when it was dumping things on me. But my story has come to a weird place. You see, right now, I am waiting. Waiting next to the tallest roller coaster in the tri-state area </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">‘</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">cause</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> I am about to meet the boy of my dreams. Well, before I go into the schematics of my heart and how hard it is beating, I </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">wanna</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> tell you that being a Librarian did finally pay off. Not just with me sitting alone after work hours and being lost in books but </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">also</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">it’s</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">where I met my Prince Charming. Those blue eyes and blonde hair with his buttery smooth skin and a physique to go, oh-la-la, a random, chance encounter where clumsy me tripped yet again and Michael was there to catch me. When I looked into his eyes, it was like all the paintings in the world got submerged into one and created this beautiful living creature. This creature </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">who’s</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> very purpose was to save me … from everything. </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">So</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> I wait. Wait in despair and excitement. In anxiety and nervousness for him to arrive and every second feels like an eternity.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span style="line-height: 21.6px;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">Heights don’t frighten me. That is why whenever I </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">have to</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> access the ladder to keep those vintage books all the way at the top, I don’t flinch. The books falling because of my clumsiness, well, that is the different story al together and all too tragic and boring for me to discuss now. </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">Heights,</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> don’t scare me and that is why the screams of all the people on the roller coaster behind me doesn’t affect. This roller coaster is called ‘Fall </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">From</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> Heaven’. A weird name for a roller coaster but it states that it has a drop of 600 feet from the air which makes one feel that they are touching the heavens. I honestly find that funny. But now, I am not smiling. As I told you before, I wait in anticipation. I </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">ain’t</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"></span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">no fashion diva but when Michael told me to meet him here, I made sure I wore my dark green dress which I haven’t worn before. I know this isn’t a </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">date</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> but it feels like a date to me. The way he was asking me if I was ok when I was in his arms, it felt like someone was playing the violin and the nerves of my heart </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">were</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">it’s</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> strings. I couldn’t hear anything beyond the words, ‘You should join me at the theme park this weekend. It’s going to be fun.” Imagine the best moment of your life happening right in front of you and you are so happy, you just keep nodding your head like an AI Robot whose circuit is all screwed up. So, I wait, trying to look pretty, in a world who has always told me I won’t be pretty enough. And then, the wait which felt like eternity ends with joy as I see Michael in the distance. Oh my, how handsome he is! That football jacket and that masculine perfume which I can smell all the way from there to here. Michael is truly too good to be true. But the moment he keeps coming to close me, I start feeling this dread. Dread, because I notice that he isn’t alone. There are a few boys and girls with him. My mind immediately tells me that this isn’t a date but just a friendly </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">rendezvous</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> but my heart keeps telling me to have hope as the night is still young and the miracle called Michael has already come in my life. But what happened next, ripped me to pieces. Even the shards of glass were crying when they were inflicting the pain which came when I saw Michael kissing Cassandra, the prom queen! Not only was this a ‘casual’ meet, </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">it</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> was also by far, the worst day of my life.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span style="line-height: 21.6px;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">They say life flashes in front of your eyes when you die but I think I didn’t have to wait for my end to come for what that flash meant. Seeing Michael and Cassandra kissing and being oh, so in love was like death to me. Take it from me, don’t be like me, a loner who God abandoned and who convinced herself that God </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">actually had</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> made her this way so she could find true love and then marry him and become Mrs. Michael but no, God just seems to keep laughing at me, over and over again. First, with dad leaving, then the bullies at school calling me sad Wilma, you know from </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">scooby</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">-</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">doo</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> but that Wilma was classy, I, for them have always been trashy Wilma and a reject. And now … this!!! I mean, where is the fairness in all this? Why are those boys and girls and the prom queen still walking with Michael and coming towards me! Why is </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">god</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">still inflicting this pain and horror on me? But as time waits for no one, that moment arrived when they all came and stood </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">besides</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">me</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and it wasn’t Michael but Cassandra who spoke to me. She said, “So you are the nerd Michael keeps talking about?” Wait, did she just call me a nerd and hold up, did she just say that Michael keeps talking about me? Is there still hope? Will Cassandra, the perfect beauty </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">feel</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> an insecurity by me and my love for books and knowledge and leave Michael? Can this miracle </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">actually happen</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> with me? Before I could start a fairy tale in </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">my head and have three babies with Michael, it is Michael this time who speaks up and says, “She isn’t a nerd, she actually is very </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">smart</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and she is helping me with my paper. Speaking of which, did you get the assignment I had told you to write?” Oh, my, </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">god !!!</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">Michael thinks I am smart and that is the best compliment I have ever received, well, in fact, the only compliment I have ever received! This isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Michael just didn’t save me from falling that day, he also saved me! Saved me from own despair. But wait, why is it that I am feeling a sense of dread and despair now? Oh lord, oh lord … Damn it! That’s it! It’s what Michael said AFTER the compliment which is making me sweat! That assignment! I forgot all about it! I, invisible Aisha had one job and that was to bring Michael his assignment so I could help </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">him</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and he would eventually in a few years, fall in love with me but when it rains it just doesn’t pour, for me, a thunderstorm comes with it!</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span style="line-height: 21.6px;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">“You forgot? Are </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">you</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> serious right now?! You had told me that you would be delighted to do the assignment for me and when we meet here, you would give it to me and now you are telling me that you forgot all about it?! Damn </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">it</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> Aisha! I was so looking forward in getting a B in Literature and now thanks to you and your GREAT sense of memory I am </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">gonna</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> get a D-! Thanks a lot Aisha!” “Let’s just go Michael and let this person we don’t care about just stay here and let her reflect on her bad life choices!” …</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">I could still hear the screams from the people on the roller coaster. I could still see people buying candy and taking selfies. I could still see the world moving but I know it was moving without me. Michael and Cassandra and their clique walked </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">away</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and I was there, standing alone. I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions. Hate for Cassandra, angry on Michael and pity for myself. I don’t think I would ever recover from this trauma. I don’t think I would ever be happy. My one true love has gone away and all because of my stupid memory. All because I was nodding my head like an idiot and so lost in Michael eyes, that I forgot he was also mentioning his assignment to me! My life is over. What is left now? What is there to </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">loose</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">? Nothing, right? And that is why, as tears were rolling down my cheeks, I decided that I would just sit on the roller coaster and never step out of it. Since my life is a whirlwind, I think being in an instrument of chaos and madness suits my life to the T. And so, alone I sat with the two seats next to me empty. I attract emptiness and so this scenario completely justifies me. The safety instructor comes and checks whether I have the belt put on tight and whether the chest rest is completely submerged and touching my breast bones. Ironic for the girl who is always clumsy. That thought almost made me laugh. And then, in a few seconds, the coaster stands to ascend. Slowly and slowly, like a tease, it ascends </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">and everything for me becomes small. The people become small, the flashes on their phone become small and someplace, even their judgements. We finally reach the very top and in any second now, this coaster is going to </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">descend</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and the screams will return. But it doesn’t move. It just lays there, like a giant, fallen asleep on the top of a mountain. I then hear the operator announcing, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm. There is a small malfunction in the </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">machine</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> and we are already fixing it. The ride will resume shortly.” I hear murmurs and sounds of panics from the other people on the </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">ride</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> but I feel something else. Here, on top of the world, I sense the quietness. I feel the cold air tickling my face and just over the horizon, I see the last rays of the sun saying it’s goodbye to me. I start to cry but not because I am hurt but because I am overwhelmed with such beauty and grace. I feel like I am truly in heaven. Oh my god! This is so pretty! And then it hits me. Then I understand. I was </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">suppose</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">to</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> come up here. I was </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">suppose</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> to</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> see this magnificence and be in awe. I was </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">suppose</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> to</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> realize what God wanted to show me after all, that being alone isn’t a wrong thing for God is with me. Being clumsy or forgetful isn’t wrong for God is always with me. Being in pain isn’t bad for God is with me. </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">God,</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> always has been with me. I was just too stubborn to see it. </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">To</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> scared to not think what others thought of me and too timid to accept that I </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">actually was</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"> special.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span style="line-height: 21.6px;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">They say, your life flashes before your eyes when you die but for me, it wasn’t death nor heart break which did that. It was this moment right here. Alone, in heaven, along with God. I then closed </span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">me</span><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">eyes, and suddenly a smile appeared on my face. A smile which I have never smiled before and before you know it, the coaster was back online and like an angel, I came back to earth. </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span style="line-height: 21.6px;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";">The End.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; line-height: 21.6px; font-size: 18px;"><span class="s2" style="line-height: 21.6px; font-family: "Courier New";"><br></span></p> Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-56602992111875278402023-01-05T02:24:00.002-08:002023-01-05T02:24:29.513-08:00The Woman In White ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It’s New Year’s Eve …</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The entire world is excited and is in a celebratory mood.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This 2-Storey Lavish House Party, isn’t any different.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">We see people coming in with big smiles and having a glass of their favourite cocktails in their hands, dancing to the tunes of Bollywood. Everyone is excited for this coming year with hopes and dreams and aspirations, as they were the year before.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">But one man isn’t a part of this celebration. In fact, he isn’t happy at all. This man is called Raj and the truth is in the middle of the loud music and dance moves gone wrong, he is sickly worried. He doesn’t have a glass in his hand and neither he is meeting and greeting the people inter-locked in this house. His eyes are looking, frantically, for someone. Someone he came in this party with but who vanished without a trace. The only thing he can do is try to find her and retrace his steps to unfold this mystery of the disappearance of the beautiful woman in white he came with. Raj is convinced that he will find her. After all, this is just a house party and the color white will surely pop-out in these make-shift neon lights. But Raj doesn’t have time, for in the next 10 seconds, the new year will begin and the woman he came with told him to not leave her side when the clock strikes 12. For if he does, she will forever be in despair. Raj, clearly not a believer in superstitions doesn’t take her words seriously but for some reason, he is still pulled in by this mysterious woman. By her mystery, by her aura. By her innocence. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">They say time is relevant and it couldn’t be more relevant to raj right now just mere seconds before the clock struck 12. As the men and women hold each other and scream 10, Raj just closes his eyes and tries to remember. Remember exactly what happened …</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">10!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">We show Raj in his car, driving alone, lost in his thoughts and the radio turned off. Raj doesn’t want party music being played right now as he knows there is gonna be a lot of head-banging music to the party he is going too. Raj didn’t wanted to step out at all tonight but his best friend insisted that he come. It is unusual for Raj to see such empty roads in a city like Mumbai but Madh Island is still that part of the city which hasn’t been filled with an ever-expanding population, so Raj is taking in the quiet and enjoying the lone drive.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">9!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As Raj is driving in the serene quiet, his eyes catch a shadow ahead. For a moment there, he is confused with what he is seeing but not more than a second later, he sees the shadow being an actual woman just waiting alone, on the side of this loom road. He immediately reduces the speed of his car, dims it's headlights and stops right in front of the woman.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">8!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Raj is awestruck by this woman! She is by far, the most prettiest woman, Raj has ever seen and not only is there a charm about her but her White Satin Dress and her open hair and mascara in her eyes, is increasing her beauty to infinity. For the first time, in a very long time, Raj doesn’t have words to speak. His heart is taking beats faster than a race car! After what feels like forever, Raj finally opens his mouth to speak but before he could say a word, it’s the woman in white who speaks up.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">7!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The woman in white says, “Hi, sorry, my uber broke down a few kms back and I tried too call for another one but my phone’s battery is dead and I was wondering if you could give me a lift? My house is just down the road. It will be a huge help to me.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Raj doesn’t think twice and immediately says, “Yes, of course!” As raj gets out of the car and opens the passenger seat for the woman in white, a part of him is thrilled and a part of him is surprised with the emotions that he is feeling right now. It has been 3 years since Shikha broke Raj’s heart and since then, he has never felt this way. As Raj, sits in the driver’s seat and places his hands on the steering, he senses that his hands are sweating. He knows this is all out of the crazy adrenaline he is feeling because of the woman in white and he tries his best to keep his composure and pushes his foot on the gas and the car moves ahead.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">6!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Both, Raj and the woman in white are now in silence but Raj decides he has too start talking, so raj asks, “So, where is your house?” The woman in white replies, “It’s called Bhullar House. It’s just a few minutes down the road.” Raj notices how pleasant and kind her voice is. It has a serene feeling, like someone playing the flute in an open garden. But Raj also realises that it is the same house to which he is going too! With a burst of excitement raj quickly replies and says, “I am going to the same house party too! What a coincidence!” To that the woman in white replies, “There are no coincidences. Everything is already pre-planned.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">5!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As the wheels of the car take them ahead, Raj doesn’t want the house to arrive soon, for he wants to talk to her more and more and he feels that for the rest of his life, he only wants to listen to her voice. But he knows that the house will be arriving soon and the silent emptiness won’t do him any good, so he asks her, “So, you are spending tonight with friends over there?”. To which the woman in white responds, “Actually that house is my parents. I am going there to meet them and be with them on new year’s eve. The thing is I study in Pune, Senior year college and I had told them I won’t be able to come home due to the heavy load of my studies and assignments but actually, I lied to them and I had planned to surprise them. So, this is me, surprising them. My mom and dad are very social people, so I know they must have kept a huge gathering at home. I thought, it will be the perfect cover for me to slip in quietly and go and hug them when the clock strikes 12. I hope I can do that as we are already closing in on 12am.” Before raj could say something, the woman in white starts talking again and says, “Can you do me a favour? I mean, another favour? If you would be so kind, can you please stay besides me when I am with mom and dad? I want this moment to be recorded so if you could just record me surprising them and seeing the joy on their face, I will be eternally grateful to you.” I want the new year to start with a good omen. If I don’t do that I feel I will be in despair! Raj, who is now completely mesmerised by this beauty doesn’t flinch and says, “I would be delighted too!”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">4!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">That moment arrives, as they see the house in front of them. The car slows down and it’s like the air goes quiet as well. Raj finds a parking spot and then shuts the engine off. But before he opens the door, he turns towards the woman in white and asks her, “I am sorry and where are my manners! My name is Raj and what do people call you?” To which the woman in white replies with a smile on her face, “Pari. People call me Pari.” Ever since his break-up, Raj stopped believing in love but when he hears her name, Raj knows, without a shadow of a doubt, in his heart, that for the very first time in his life, Raj knows what Love At First Sight feels like!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">3!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Both Raj and Pari are walking towards the main door. They both can hear the loud music which is trying to tear the sound everywhere. The windows reverberate the vibrations and within a few seconds they both arrive at the main door. The door is unlocked as it should be given the number of people arriving for the party. Raj looks towards Pari. He gives her a look of pure joy, like he has found a lost treasure. Raj takes his hand to open the door but then Pari stops him and tells him, “Thank you Raj. You really helped me tonight. I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it here but because I met you, I am here, home, with my parents. I am never going to forget what you did for me.” To which Raj blushes and replies, “It’s ok. You don’t have to thank me. All I did was gave a lift to a kind soul who wanted to surprise her parents.” To which Pari replies, “Trust me, you have done more than that.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">2!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Raj opens the door and as soon as he does, his eyes are blinded with the flashing lights and smoke. His ear drums feel like they are about to burst. But raj finds his footing and the moment he looks towards Pari, she is gone. Raj looks around, left and right and his eyes try to gaze every inch of the room but he can’t find Pari. He can’t find the Woman In White. Raj tries to squeeze his broad, athletic body amongst the people dancing and twirling. He is confused and angry on himself that how could he loose Pari so quickly. He had promised her that he would record her when the new year began. He keeps looking but doesn’t find Pari anywhere. In his quest to find the enchanting woman, he stumbles upon a man and a woman, both whom tend to be in their early 50’s. Their Hair Grey, their eyes, protected by glasses and their faces long, which shows that they have seen life more than others. They smile but they aren’t smiling from the heart. They hold each other’s hands and are counting down the numbers. Raj’s eyes suddenly catches a glimpse of a photo and a face he can never forget. The photo is of Pari and oh my does she look beautiful in it. Even in this picture, she is wearing the same white satin dress, just as she is tonight. Raj is delighted and has a feeling that the people standing next to him must be her parents. Raj feels that he should stand next to them and soon Pari would find them. Raj’s guilt has gone and a sense of joy returns to his face.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">1! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">He looks and waits for Pari with awaited breath and he takes out his phone and keeps it on record. He knows any moment now she is going to come and surprise her parents. He is filled with excitement!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">0!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The whole room erupts together the words, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Raj looks through the crowd but he doesn’t see Pari. “Where is she?” He murmurs to himself. But then, the music quiets down and the whole room goes silent, like someone reduced the volume of a song drastically. All the guests started looking towards the direction of the couple who were standing next to Raj and even Raj gazes his eyes towards them. He notices both of them are crying and smiling at the same time and they both turn towards the picture of Pari and see in a very hush voice, “Happy Birthday Beta. I hope this joy, gives you joy as well. We love you and we will always miss you.” They both wipe their tears and turn toward the crowd and they say, “Thank you all for coming tonight. We all loved Pari very much. Not a day goes by that we don’t want her back. It was this day, 3 years ago that she was coming home to meet us and to be with us. But she was taken away from us on that lonely road when she was only minutes away from us. If that man wasn’t drinking, she would had been her with us. We have cried and grieved over her for all this time. But this year, we decided that we won’t mourn our Pari but celebrate the life she had and the joy that she gave us. I really hope that by celebrating tonight, we have somehow given her soul rest and that she is smiling at us from heaven.” The couple then say, “Happy New Year Pari!” And with that the entire crowd also repeats the words, “Happy New Year Pari!”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Raj is numb. Raj is silent. Raj doesn’t believe what he has heard. It can’t be! Pari was with him. He picked her up. He spoke to her! He felt the connection with her! Raj wants to say a thousand things but not a single word comes out of his mouth. His mind is all over the place. But then as his pulse quiets down, he looks at Pari’s Parents and then to Pari’s Photo. He keeps looking at her is again lost in her beauty. Raj understands now. Raj understands everything. Raj did keep his promise to her. Raj smiles and as he does, a tear rolls down his eye. He picks up his phone and presses it on record and looks at the frame of Pari and says in silence, for he wants this moment to only be his. He says. “Happy New Year Pari. Happy new Year My Woman In White.”</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The End.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div></div></blockquote>Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-21436720077285931352022-10-23T04:10:00.006-07:002022-10-23T04:10:42.336-07:00"Live. Hunt. Kill. Die. Respawn. Repeat."<p> The grass is lush and green. The wind is quiet. Even the birds know not to fly today. There is something in the air. Everyone can feel it. The man next to me and to my right. These aren't men who are divided but united by a single cause. To defeat the enemy. We wait for the commands from our fearless senior officer. We wait in terror and in courage. Suddenly, we hear the wind change. It starts to roar and we see a tornado coming towards us. We know what must be done and without hesitation we rise up and start running towards where our enemy is hiding. Bullets race across these once quiet lands. Comrades and brothers whom we loved fall to their deaths like flies. This place is worse than hell. But this place is called earth. Once a peaceful planet, now ravaged by greed and power by men and who think it is ok to burn it to ashes. We are the few soldiers and armies left who stand to protect the freedom of the innocent and the last known resources left to survive. We are the last few left who can fight for this world. We are the only few left who will die trying. Welcome to Battlefield!</p><p>If you thought this is a plotline for a major Hollywood blockbuster, you are wrong. This, in fact is a baseline story for the latest Battlefield game called Battlefield 2042 or BF2042. As you can see, video games are just like movies and in this blog, I wanted to share with you, the amazing world of video games and how these video games changed my life for the better. I always wanted a War to Fight and now, through video games, I live in those battles everyday. :-)</p><p>To understand something that is happening to us now, we must always go back to the beginning, for whatever and whoever we are, is always connected to our past. So let me take you on a trip down memory lane and make you relive what I lived for so many years. </p><p>I remember, when I was like 8 years old and Media Mega Drive had come out and me, being the over excited kid that I was told my mom to take me to Sayonara, the biggest electronics and toy store near our house, so that I could get my hands on this amazing new gaming console which had just released. I still remember the excitement and look on my face when the owner brought the this mega machine and kept in front of me. I was nearly about to cry with excitement! That evening, my cousins came over and all were as excited as me to play Media Mega Drive. We opened it, installed all the remotes and wires and switched on the tv. Well, the rest was history. We all were playing for hours and hours and none of us wanted to give the chance to the other since there were only 2 remote controls to play with. Whether it was the All-Time Classic Super Mario Bros., or Super Contra or Jungle Ride, me and my cousins were hooked. From then on, every weekend, it was gaming time for hours. And the best part was we only had a few titles to play with but were so happy playing them over and over again. What did I know then that the sheer enjoyment and excitement of playing Media Mega Drive would one day become such an important part of my life.</p><p>I was a 90's kid and at that point in time, the video game business was thriving. Well, it wasn't the Multi-Billion Dollars industry it is today but a lot of kids were getting happier. Even India, as a country was importing many a consoles which meant, I would soon get my hands on all the latest consoles which were releasing. I am so lucky and blessed to say that I have played game titles on almost every gaming console which came out. Whether it was Tetris on the Nintendo Gameboy, Street Fighter on Nintendo 32-Bit, Mortal Combat on Sega Mega Drive or Tom Cat Alley on the Sega Media Drive, I have played them all and as you guessed it, loved every moment doing so. But video games was more like a pop culture for us kids and in a way, bragging rights to be the 'cool' kid in school. My point is, during the early to late 90's, video games were booming and also a lot stigmas attached to them. That video games aren't good for kids. That kids don't study well after playing them and that their eyes get spoilt and what not. But no matter what the world was thinking, there was one boy in Mumbai (Bombay at that time) who was very happy being lost in this beautiful world which was created by only inserting a few wires into the power cords. :-)</p><p>I guess by now, I don't have to tell you more about how much I have loved video games and how they have always been a part of me growing up. And you also must be wondering why I have kept Live-Hunt-Kill-Die-Respawn-Repeat as my blog title. Well, if I don't keep the best parts for later, how will I make you read my entire blog and also create an algorithm so this blog can be read by so many other? But jokes apart, I, myself didn't know that video games would become the gateway to my soothing happiness. A place where I go and I feel only happiness. Let me explain ...</p><p>I always believed I was a Soldier. Whether that was an Indian Special Forces Commando or a Seal Team Six Navy Seal or a United States Marine Corps Special Forces member, the Army and Soldiers have always fascinated me. I had this urge to be on the Battlefield and fight the good fight with my brothers. There was always this need and hunger to always keep fighting. So you can imagine how happy I felt when I got my hands on the Campaigns of Call Of Duty and Battlefield! I was like a kid on Christmas day except, it was Christmas for me every time I switched on the PlayStation and heard Capt. Price say, "Cheeky Bastard". And oh my did I play those campaigns over and over again! Whether it was with the Speakers on Full Blast or when I couldn't sleep at night, Battlefield and Call Of Duty were always there to give me my happy pill. But little did I know that most exhilarating rush was still yet to come.</p><p>This shift or 'explosion' came in my life post my marriage. I believe everything in life happens for a reason and I believe everything in life is connected and happens for only our good. I am now married to the most loving, caring and supportive wife any man can have and it was my wife, Madalsa who told me to give MULTIPLAYER Games a chance since the COD (Call Of Duty for short) which was released in 2018, titled Black Ops 4 didn't have a story driven campaign mode. At first, I was very hesitant as in the past, I was never inclined towards Multiplayer games. Back then, it was only the rush of the campaign which excited me. But since I didn't have the option of the campaign I was like, "Ya fine, I will give Multiplayer a shot and see what happens. Worst to worst I'll try it, not like it and wait for another whole year until the next Cod game arrives, hopefully with a campaign." </p><p>But as fate would have it, the exact opposite happened! I was hooked to the world of multiplayer! Remember when I told you earlier that I always loved fighting? Well, in MP (short for multiplayer) I got to experience that rush a billion times more! It was like how that saying goes, "Once The Lion (Or Tiger) Tastes Blood, It Can't Ever Stop Eating."</p><p>It was October 2018 to this day today. My life completely changed. I was more in love with Video Games it was all thanks to my wife urging me to try MP and experience something new and challenging and trust me, it gets very challenging to play these games online. What I mean is, you come across so many players from all around the world who are so good in playing these games. There have been days, when I have died 72 times in one round and there have been times when I have called in a Nuke in a match. </p><p>Today, just before writing this blog, I finished setting up my gaming room. This room which I have at home is like a Mini Temple for me. It is a room where I come to everyday and a place I somewhat worship. It is a room where I come and put on my headphones and switch off the world outside. It is place where I go online and go to war everyday with people whom I will never meet. It is a sanctuary where I improve my skills and Stream Live On Twitch. (Search Meem0h on twitch). It is a room which wouldn't had been possible without my wife's support and a very dear friend of mine, Tushar. This gaming room is my home within my home.</p><p>So how do I explain to you the joys I feel here? How do I write in words how good these battles and wars and gunplay make me feel? How do I tell how good it feels to find a camper and spray bullets on him, only to find him again, camping in another part of the map and yet doing the same thing again to him? How do I make you feel this peace I feel. This isn't just gaming for me, this is a world I have created for me. A safe space where I LIVE as a Soldier, HUNT like a Predator, KILL like a Monster, DIE like a Mortal, RESPAWN like a Ghost and REPEAT like a Robot. :-)</p><p>So before I go I just wanted to say that we all need our safe spaces. Our spaces of wonder. Our spaces of escape. I am lucky to have found mine and I hope one day you found yours as well.</p><p>This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakarborty.</p><p>See You At The Battlefield.:-)</p><p> </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-37624858385802542052022-05-03T05:53:00.001-07:002022-05-03T07:58:55.263-07:00Therapy Is Well … Therapeutic. :) I’m glad I do therapy. I mean, not all can admit when they need help but I am glad and proud to be one of the few who admit that therapy has really changed my life. <div><br></div><div>We all need help. In some form or another. Someone needs financial help. Or emotional help and sometimes it’s just help to carry the groceries. We are humans not super heroes. We all need our saving. I was and I still am one of them. One of the many who needs saving and for a very long time, I had convinced myself that I don’t need it. Call it ego or pride or just a fake male bravado, I kept telling myself for years that I am ok and strong enough to deal with the problems and challenges the world throws at me. But I was wrong and I am so glad I was. </div><div><br></div><div>I believe in fate. I believe we all come with a destiny and when you trust the process, you come to understand that everything happens at the right time, at the right place and for the right reasons. Therapy is in my life because I do believe it is for the greater good and for a purpose which is beyond my comprehension. Of course, I won’t be able to tell you what I discuss with my therapist but I can of course tell you how much therapy has unraveled me in front of my own eyes. I understand myself more better now and therapy works because you are shedding your mask and being absolutely vulnerable and truthful to a stranger who’s only job is to make you better. There are no judgements nor any comparisons nor disappointments. There are only solutions to problems which we create in our own minds. </div><div><br></div><div>I used to keep asking myself, why am I so stuck up on things. Why am I so rigid and such a pain in the ass. Through therapy I realized that it was because I was afraid of change. Afraid to step into the unknown and feel lost. Through each session of talking and debating and understanding, it has come to my attention that the only person blocking me from me being who I truly am, is ME. My own thoughts which I have knotted tight in my brain. It’s not my emotions which are the problem, it’s the thoughts which control them. When people ask me to sum up how good therapy is, I just tell them it’s me, unknotting those constant negative thoughts in my brain, one thread at a time. One session at a time. :)</div><div><br></div><div>I am not here publicizing therapy nor am it’s brand ambassador. If I wanted to promote my therapist, I would had told you who that person was and would had even given the person’s contact details here. But this blog isn’t about that. This blog is an attempt to show you that it’s ok to ask for help and to seek help and that there is nothing wrong to be weak. In fact, I believe that when a person admits that he/she needs help, it is actually, a sign of great strength and courage. I know that society considers therapy a taboo but therapy just doesn’t imply that you need to talk to a certified expert. Therapy means that you talk. Just talk it out. Vent out and feel lighter and better. Keeping things inside and trying to deal with your problems on your own doesn’t do you any good. Trust me, I know. Talk to people whom you can trust. Speak your heart and be yourself and I promise you that you will feel better. No matter how alone you feel, I do believe that the almighty has given us at least one person with whom we can shed our skin and be real with. I really hope you have that person in your life right now as you read this. </div><div><br></div><div>Whether it was my last blog about captain America or the blog previous to it about CrossFit, I know all these blogs are a part of who I am and even writing this blog right now is therapy for me. I am in a way, venting, letting out my emotions and feeling better about myself. :) I have also understood that I am fine the way I am. Whether I am bruised, battered or even broken, underneath all the struggle and the pain and the insecurities and tears, I am still a Pure Bad Ass, just like all of you, for we all fight. The only sadness is that we don’t seem to care about it. But therapy reminds me everyday that I need to be me. Therapy reminds me to care because I like caring. Caring about the people I love and lifting people who have fallen for I was also once fallen. I like motivating people because I know how it feels like to be ridiculed and to be told that I am worthless. I like bringing people together because I am tired of seeing people putting lines in the sand for their religions and their gods and their lands. I want to see this world to be a better place because I do believe in hope and miracles and the divine intervention of the cosmic energy. I want to be the best version of myself even if the world doesn’t see it. I want to be me because simply, it’s just very therapeutic for me. :)</div><div><br></div><div>So here I am telling you once again that it’s ok to be weak and vulnerable for only when you admit that you need help can you actually learn to be free. Only when you accept that life broke you can you learn to build yourself up again. Only when you let go of all that anger and resentment can you actually forgive yourself. Only when you learn from the past can you embrace your future. You just have to learn to not be so hard on yourself. It’s ok to screw up. To have a mis step and fall. What matters is how many times you get back again. We are human beings. We are capable of horrible wars we have waged on each other and we are also capable of hugging our enemy and making him our friend. I tell you, it’s ok to be you because you are amazing just the way you are. :)</div><div><br></div><div>So this is me and this is my story and yes, I do need help. I found that help and I really hope you find yours as well. </div><div><br></div><div>Thanking you from the bottom of my heart, </div><div>Cause I’m just another random blogger trying to make a difference. </div><div><br></div><div>With all respects,</div><div>Mahaakshay Chakraborty. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-49600094809842184312022-04-08T09:36:00.001-07:002022-04-08T09:37:28.148-07:00What Does It Take To Be Righteous ...<p> I was there. When End Game released in the theatres and when that iconic moment happened! Thor and iron man were getting beat by the mad titan Thanos and then suddenly you saw Mjornir rise from the ground and hit Thanos. But then the hammer went into the hands of Captain America and you could hear Thor said, "I knew it!" It was one of the most iconic moments in Movie History! The eruption of the entire cinema hall was an added bonus to the euphoria Steve Rogers caused! At that moment, along with the goosebumps, all I could feel was, WOW! Captain America is so worthy! I mean he is the one human being who picked up the hammer! That got me thinking and thus started my youtube searches for, 'When did steve rogers become worthy?' and so on ... The more I saw videos and read theories of comic book fans, the more I understood that Steve just wasn't worthy, he was also Righteous! </p><p>If you google Righteousness, you will see it means, 'Acting in accord with divine or moral law. Free from guilt or sin. Morally right or justifiable. Arising from an outraged sense of justice and morality. </p><p>So the question rises ... in our current world, what does it really take to become righteous? And do we even want to be righteous?</p><p>We are flawed creatures and I know no one can be perfect. We all have our vices and weaknesses. The good and the bad is within us all and it is ok to error. I know I am not perfect. I know I am flawed and broken but I still have this urge, this hunger to find out who I am. Imagine a quest. A quest which has no end. A journey of self discovery which honestly, doesn't have a destination. Even as I am writing this, I am looking. Looking for something within me to make sense of it all. Maybe that is why I am who I am. Over the course of my life, I have truly begun to love myself for now I am friends with the soul within me. That soul which hungers for salvation and nirvana. That soul which knows I am meant to go where I have never gone before. </p><p>So what will it take for me to be righteous? My devotion to my parents? Or the love to the people who matter to me? Or by giving it my very best to make my dreams come true everyday? To be honest, I think in order to be righteous one has to first accept that they aren't right at all. In my life, just like the billions out there, I have made mistakes. But today, I have learnt from my mistakes and more importantly, I have accepted those mistakes and learnt to move on from them. We can lie to the world as much as we want but we can't lie to ourselves. To our souls. We must first accept who we are. Who we truly are in order to become free. I know who I am now. I am a regular joe, just like everyone else with a fire burning in me. A fire to push harder. A fire that burns because I know I still have a lot to learn and to grow. I can't ever stop. I can't stop trying and giving and getting up every time I fall. I just can't. Maybe that is why I show up to Crossfit everyday. Maybe that is why after every WOD, when I am tired and don't have a single ounce of breath left in my body, I want to train again. Maybe that is why everyday I wake up with the same hopes and dreams I had yesterday. Maybe one day, when I have finally given my all, will I be able to come close to being truly righteous. </p><p>But what if just giving your blood, sweat and tears isn't enough? What will it take to truly be a noble soul? To have no sin in oneself and to finally kneel before God and tell him/her that I am worthy to be Righteous? I think it is the culmination of everything. The good and the bad. The light and the darkness. The love and the hate. All of it. Without fear, without remorse. To be broken yet stand tall. To fight when all is lost. To hope even when the dark is darkest for only in that darkness are you truly defined. All my life, I have carried guilt and failure on my shoulders. But now, I use that same guilt and failure as my passion. Passion which fuels me to train harder. To give more. To wake up and embrace the pain. To look at the darkness straight in the eye and say, "I am not afraid of you for you make me strong." Today, I am not learning how to bear the storm, today, I am becoming the storm! And I hope by reading this, I can help and motivate at least one person on earth to seek their righteousness. For aren't we trying to be the best versions of ourself? Aren't we trying to do good in this dark world? Aren't we trying to find our way to God? </p><p>To love our parents, to share laughter with our friends, to motivate a downed soul, aren't these things to become righteous? Honestly, after all these years, I have understood one thing and that is if I 'try' to become righteous, I will never be righteous if my intention comes out of necessity rather than out of love. Steve Rogers never planned to become Worthy or Righteous. He was just himself and he always did what he thought was the right thing to do, even though it would make a single voice against a majority. He was always himself. Steve Rogers, was always, Steve Rogers. Maybe that is how one day I will become righteous, by me, just being me. By waking up in the morning and having the same hope I had yesterday. By loving the world and choosing kindness over anger. By being kind over showing strength. By just smiling into the empty void and not being afraid. By loving my parents and siblings and to see them smile. By never letting that fire inside of me go out. By looking at defeat and saying to it on its face, "Not Today. Not Today." By never ever giving up. Ever.</p><p>Maybe one day, you never know, I might be able to lift Thor's Hammer like Steve Rogers after all. :-)</p><p>This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</p><p>And I want to one day want to become Righteous.</p><p>***********************************************************************************</p>Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-4649944692282632782022-03-28T08:18:00.001-07:002022-03-28T08:18:17.676-07:00A ‘Crossfit’ Of Emotions … <p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">Before you ask, let me tell you what CrossFit is. It is the short form for Cross Functional Fitness which focuses on Strength derived from Olympic Weightlifting and Functional Cardiovascular Movements. Combine these two in a class of 60mins and what you get is a feeling only the few in this world truly know.</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">I’ve been doing CrossFit in and out for about 7-8 years now but since the 3rd wave of covid came and went, I have been full on into CrossFit. Like going for 5 days a week and being the strongest guy in the box. I still suck at cardio but hey, I ain’t giving up.</span><span style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">So that’s what CrossFit is. A whirlwind of emotions ‘cause everyday there is a new WOD (workout) written on the board and it’s challenging everyday. Emotions go up and down like you are on a roller coaster and by the end of it you and only you know what you have been through. </span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">My life or should I say my emotions and emotional thoughts have somewhat been a mix of whirlwinds as well. Kinda like clothes in a washing machine. And it is these thoughts I wanna share with you today. Maybe, somewhere in my gut, sharing these emotions is the way for me to know what I am or maybe what I am becoming …</span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">Zayde Wolfe has become one my favourite music artists in recent years now. If you are a fan of New Age Rock then Zayde Wolfe is the guy you should search for. I love his music and especially when it comes to my CrossFit sessions. Like for instance today, we had Front Squats and as always, I lifted the heaviest, touching 120kgs for 3 Reps on 3 separate occasions! While I was doing the lifts, with zayde’s music in my AirPods, all I was telling myself was, “This Is My House!” Those words came from a place of dominance and confidence. I knew I could lift those weights and I did. Not once but thrice. Post that my thoughts took me to the CrossFit games where I was seeing the world’s greatest lift astronomical weights and defy gravity and runs for miles without any sign of fatigue and I saw one of the competitors yell and scream and say the same words, “This is My House!” Is this a sign that I feel the same way he did? This power which I know I have and backing it up every time I break my own PR? Only time will tell …</span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">The other night, I started watching Reacher on amazon prime. The first shot and introduction of Jack Reacher is that he gets out of a bus at a quiet bus stop and then just keeps walking. Alone. Watching him walk, suddenly made me feel that I was walking. That I was reacher. That I was in this quiet town in America and just walking. Alone. I don’t know. Honestly, I STILL don’t know why being alone gives me so much of comfort. What is it about being alone that is so satisfying for me? Is it a quest I am on? Am I looking for something? Have I already found it? I honestly don’t know but what I do know is that there is this joy, a dark cold joy in me which hungers to be alone. Another Mimoh in me who wants to wander and explore and see and touch and smell the world alone. Who wants to walk alone. Like a calling I can’t mute. Like a hunger I can’t resist. A voice in me repeating the same words again and again, “Lone Wolf. Lone Wolf”</span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">And then comes the military. I know people around the world don’t believe so much reincarnations but I 100% know that in my previous birth I was a soldier on the front lines and fighting for something worth dying for. The army, the marines, the rangers, oh, they feel so right. So true to me. Like I am in sync with every tune playing. There is something so incredible about being a soldier. About completing a mission. About challenging yourself and pushing your own boundaries. I just can’t shake the feeling. Maybe, just maybe, that is why I do CrossFit. Maybe that is why I fight. Maybe that is why I chose to be alone. I don’t know. Maybe you can help me out on this. </span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">See, everybody fights. Everyone has a struggle I know nothing about. And I’m not here to tell how shitty I sometimes feel or how bad things can get. I can’t relate to all but I do relate to a few. I relate to the guy who wants to loose weight. I relate to the woman who has having difficulty squating. I relate to people who show up everyday just because they wanna get better. Maybe that is why I try. That is why I try and help that guy do one more rep. Maybe that is why I like motivating people and making them realise that greatness is in all of us. Maybe that is why I hope that one day we all make our dreams come true. </span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">After reading this, you might be as confused as I am ‘cause I know I am in a tornado of thoughts and emotions. But I wrote this because I wanna de clutter my mess. One thought at a time. One blog at a time. And one emotion at a time. </span></p><p class="p2" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;"></span><br></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">With All My Gratitude,</span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">A very confused writer,</span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty. </span></p><p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 16px;">***************************************************</span></p> Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-11783464627647849392018-04-26T01:38:00.000-07:002018-04-26T01:38:31.502-07:00Of Gods, Monsters And Men ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><i>“You know who we are. We are the Architects of creation and time itself. We were here before and we will be here after. We have seen what was and we know what will come to be. But even in our immortal journey towards the nothingness we have never encountered a more fierce and dangerous being like the one we call The Lone Wolf. This being isn’t a being at all. He … He is something else entirely …”</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">She is so beautiful! Yes, she is! If you were here you would had agreed with the same. This woman is truly a creation of god and in my entire lifetime, I have never met a soul who could make my heart race the way she does. She sleeps peacefully. Not a worry in a world. Her hair which is like silk, beautifully touches her neck and she inhales breathe like a music tone. I can’t blink, I don’t want to blink because if I do, I will miss out a second of looking at her. This woman is the woman of my dreams. She gave me love and showed me what love truly was. I have never felt more alive before, never felt so complete. I knew that I was destined for great things but I never knew that I would be meant for such love, joy and bliss. I don’t want to move because I don’t want the creek of the wood to wake her up. There have been so many days in our lives when I have woken up before her just to see how beautifully she slept. There were times when I wanted to just hold her and cry. Cry tears of joy ‘cause I could feel that joy engulf me whenever I looked at her. But today, I am not waking her up because I won’t be able to look at her. I won’t be able to look at her when I pull the trigger of the magnum which is pointing at her. But before you hate me for the horrible crime that I am about to commit, I would want you to know how I got here. That how a being like me, who found everlasting love, could find the strength to destroy the one thing that makes him complete. Well, for that you have to go back to the beginning. The beginning where I wasn’t just a being … but a God!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Friedrich Nietzsche</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Eons ago. Heaven. Yes, heaven. A place every human has his/her own iteration off. A place which co-exists with words like peace, joy and tranquility. But sorry to break your bubble, it isn’t all birds chirping and animals dancing. This is the place I used to call home. Oh, I am sorry, I didn’t introduce myself to you. My name is Lucifer and I am God’s second son. You see, heaven, just like every other place in the cosmos had management issues, dirty politics, bitching and inferiority complexes. And that is why when I revolted, I was punished. I was punished by dad for not obeying him. And why did I choose to defy him? It was because I refused to love his creation more than I loved him! I mean, call me old school but I was taught to always love your parents first and when Dad told us that from now, our one true goal and mission was to love humanity, I jolted from my seat and said No! Of course, there was a eerie silence which followed that but then Dad being dad wouldn’t let anyone else be more commanding than him. So he did what he does best. He showed his might to us all and gave me a punishment I didn’t expect. I was thinking the worst the old man would do would be to banish me to hell for a 1,000 years! But instead he said I would be stripped off my wings and would be cast down to earth! Before I could say anything, I could feel the floor beneath me crack open. There was the sound of rumble everywhere and the eyes of every other angel was on me. It wasn’t the look of shock but a look of shame and disgust. I could sense their judgmental eyes prying me and I bet there was a slight smirk in all off their faces as well! A moment later I fell and kept falling. It felt like time had slowed down ‘cause I could feel my wings tearing away from me. I felt it all! Every feather withering away, every nerve ending getting bled out, I felt it all. And in the distance above, I could see heaven sealing it’s doors to me for all of eternity. The place I called home, the place where I truly belonged had casted me out only because I was brave enough to have a voice against an authority who didn’t like to be told what was good for him! A moment later, which felt like centuries I fell on earth! Like a dying meteorite I fell in this lush green land. When I gained the strength to wake up and finally accept this fate which befell upon me, I, for the first time saw earth and at that very moment, I truly wished that I was in Hell!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"If you battle monsters, you don't always become a monster. But you aren't entirely human anymore, either."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Jonathan Maberry</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This place, apparently dad’s ‘greatest’ creation wasn’t that great to begin with. I mean, sure it had a lot of colour and tress and plants and animals and rivers flowing with crystal clear water and ya, sometimes the view of the sun setting was beautiful but overall, I didn’t like it here. This wasn’t a place for me to cherish, this was my prison. A place where I was damned for all eternity. I tried going back. I tried killing myself so my soul could go back but dad, being the wise ass he was, gave me unbreakable skin and an unimaginable amount of strength. It was like he was still toying with me. He took away my wings but left the rest, some kind of a half-cooked joke with no laughter at the end, well at least no laughter for me. I knew that every time I screamed my lungs out and sat alone in a corner with tears rolling down my face, the angels up there in heaven, especially my elder brother Michael would be having the laugh of his life! That angel was always trying to impress dad and he did a fine job at it. Always noble. Always following orders. Phff! What an obedient, kiss-ass child he is dad must be thinking. Maybe that’s why dad threw me here. Maybe he saw me as a threat. Maybe that’s why I become this … this thing from a god! After what felt like years, I gave up. I stopped screaming. I stopped the yelling and I stopped feeling sad for myself. Maybe, just maybe I thought that if I would actually embrace this punishment I would show them upstairs that I am worthy of their forgiveness. So I did what any immortal being would do, I started walking. Yes, walking. I just walked and with every walking step, I took it all in. The breath, the air, the light, the night, the weather, everything. But one day when I was walking my eyes spotted something. Something that didn’t quite fit the bill of this so-called ‘Paradise’. I saw two men fighting. From the distance I couldn’t understand why they were doing what they were doing but one was protecting himself and screaming, “Don’t do this Cane!” while the other had a knife in his hand and was screaming, “I hate you Abel!”. And in the very next moment I saw that knife pierce through that Abel fellow and then, there was blood everywhere and then he was gone. He died! Like, gone forever! I thought that wasn’t possible here on earth. But that moment for some sadistic reason, a smile came on my face because I knew right there and then that God didn’t create his most precious creation … what he made was monsters!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"I think you have to know who you are. Get to know the monster that lives in your soul, dive deep into your soul and explore it."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Tori Amos</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">That was earth’s 1st murder. A human killing another human. It was unexpected. I mean, sure, God gave these creatures a thing called ‘Free Will’ but who knew that they would end up killing each other with that kind of freedom and power. But what happened, happened and I told myself that isn’t my business to attend too and I resumed my long walk to nowhere when suddenly I heard a very familiar voice. At first, I thought it was a trick. A trick by the ones sitting upstairs to make a mockery out of me but when I turned around, I saw that he was standing there! All commanding and all powerful! It was my Dad, God himself, here on earth! He had surely made some upgrades to his appearance from the last time that I had seen him. I guess he wanted a more human look to ‘fit in’ here on earth. Long, white hair, with a grey beard and a silk robe with a bag on his right shoulder and those wooden slippers humans wore. I had to admit, the all-powerful creator knew how to look good! As I approached him, he had his eyes looked towards the horizon. No Hi, no Hello, no greeting, just a creepy silence which made me very uncomfortable. I wanted to ask him … I wanted to know whether this was the end of my punishment here. Whether it was finally time for me to go home. But before I could ask him, he started talking. He told me, “I flawed. I … I didn’t create that something perfect I wanted too. Look at this travesty. Look at this sadness that has engulfed this beautiful planet. I can feel the stench. I can feel the anger and hatred in the hearts of men growing. Mankind is flawed and I know that I and only I am to blame.” This was typical dad. Good at taking the sympathy but none of the blame. He had a way with things and I realised this wasn’t the moment of my salvation, so I started walking again and tried ignoring his presence but then he called for me and I froze dead at my tracks ‘cause after centuries I heard him call my name. He said, “Luci, … I need you to do a task for me. I … I need you to clean up this mess for me.” I didn’t know what to say ‘cause I had never felt such anger before! I mean can you believe this guy! Not only does he loathe in front of me but he wants me to do his bidding now! And then I said, “What makes you think that I would ever listen to you and do your dirty work for you? You banished me here, remember? You left me here to rot and now suddenly, I am the one who will get the job done? Oh hell no! I would rather be stuck here for all eternity than to ever listen to you again!” And then I just started pacing away from him because I knew that I couldn’t stay a moment longer in his presence. But then, … oh that smart intellectual being gave me that yorker. He told me something that even if I wanted I couldn’t ignore. He told me, “Luci, my son, do this for me and I promise you, you will come back to heaven.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"The monster was the best friend I ever had."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Boris Karloff</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“What did you just say? I would be allowed back in heaven? You sure you aren’t just busting my balls again?”. “No Luci, I swear I mean it. If you do what I ask of you, I promise I will come and take you back up there myself.” Even though I didn’t believe a word he said, I was truly intrigued to know what it was that I had to do. “So what is it that I have to do?”. “Luci, you saw what happened here. it was a crime, an atrocity. And now I know that mankind will always be flawed. There will be people who will stand for good but I also know that there will be men who will choose evil doings. Who will choose hate over love and give in to their temptations. And being God, I can’t just sit and watch this happen. So what I want you to do is to make these evil men pay for their sins. I want you to rid the earth of the evil that it will produce.” “So what are you saying? I go and kill these people because they are causing havoc and terror on your precious earth?”. “Luci, my son, listen to me, I do have all the might and power and yes, I am the divine creator of everything but even I know that there are things that I can do and things I can’t. And when I gave these mortals Free Will, I also gave them the power to choose what choice they will make. And as I said, there will be many who will choose good but there will also be people who will always want evil to triumph over the good and if you really want to impress me and show that you are worthy of coming back to heaven, then obey my command!”. There it was again, his commanding, egoistic voice. That rise in the pitch came every time he sensed his position wasn’t being valued or respected. “Fine. I will do as you command. I will scorch the earth of all the evil there is. I will become your instrument of justice and show these evil men that when you choose evil, you will be Punished.” “But Luci, there is one thing you should know.” I knew the old man wouldn’t make it easy for me. “What is it?” I asked. “You have to always be in the shadows. You can never let mankind know of your existence. I mean yes, they do believe that a heaven and hell exists but as immortal gods we can’t physically show them that we exist, ‘cause that would break their fabric of reality. You can never show case your talents of justice and vengeance to the world. You will do my bidding but in the stillness of the night and from the shadows. No one will know who you are and no one will know the power you possess.” Now, what do I say to that? “So that does it. From now on, I give you the strength to be my bounty hunter. To be my instrument of justice. To become a Punisher. Wherever and whenever evil persists you will take it down. You will destroy the evil from it’s very soul and sent it straight to hell. And when earth no longer has evil brewing, you will be given your right to come back home.” “Fine, I will become your rider. I will become the monster who will fight these monsters. I will become your Punisher.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"May the same Almighty Goodness banish the accursed monster, war, from all lands, with her hated associates, rapine and insatiable ambition!"</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Daniel Boone</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And so it began. My journey. The long road ahead was looking at me with it’s emptiness. God had left the building and left me to watch over earth as he had commanded me to do so. I was the Lone Wolf who walked the planet in search of evil. And yes, I did find it. I found it in men and women. I found evil when people lied, when they cheated and when they killed each other. Whenever there was a crime committed, I could feel my stomach turn. Like a vomit I needed to throw up. That was the sensation that evil was meant to be Punished. I had my ways. I would sneak in to their houses when they slept. Would creep in into their nightmares. Or I would just confront them when they were in their weakest moment and judge them. I would sometimes burn them alive. Sometimes I would slit their throats and sometimes, just for fun I would just give them the stare of penance. At first, it was like a task. I mean, evil was everywhere you know! But as days turned into months and months turned into years, I started enjoying this. I guess there was a part of me which was made for this. I really started understanding human behaviour. You won’t believe how much you can learn from the shadows. Human beings are weird. They are capable of giving each other endless love and they are also capable of completely destroying each other. Slowly slowly, I figured them out. I understood why they fought. I came to realise not all killing was murder. Some fought for freedom while some killed to protect their families. And so, I decided I would amp up my lust for blood and Punishment. So I became one of them. I pretended to be one of them. I started talking like them and behaving like them but at the back of my mind I knew the condition that the almighty laid on me. “Never let them know who you are.” So I became the servant who would serve kings their food. I became the guard who would protect the queens and in time, I became the Soldier who would be in the formation line, ready to die for country. And I saw great men rise and fall. I was there when the greatest warrior in history touched his feet at the beaches of troy. I was there when the king of the new world conquered it all. I was right there beside him, with shield and armour when he defeated the Persian army. I was there when the scariest Moghul rose and conquered villages in the east. I was there when men with their golden armour hanged a man who I truly believed was the son of God. I was there when a great man from the west fought to abolish slavery. I was there when the world united and hit the beaches of normandy to rid the earth of the most horrific evil it ever created. I was there when men in uniforms bombed and destroyed a regime which only wanted people to live in fear. I was witness to it all. From the outside, you wouldn’t ever believe I was the Punisher of Evil. But from underneath I knew what I had become. I was truly a monster who knew only bloodshed and relished on death. I became the Grim Reaper and with every strike of my blade, with every life I took, I had become the thing I was truly destined to be. I had become The God Of War.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"When someone asks, 'Does success make you into a monster?' I always say, 'No, it enables you to be a monster."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">There is a famous saying I’ve heard humans say to each other. “If you wanna make god laugh, then make plans.” I never knew what that meant until I met her. It was nearly 3000 years since Dad commanded me and since then I have had many names and identities. Sometimes I was the young lad who just graduated from oxford, sometimes I was the quiet guy people avoided and sometimes I was the man who gave everyone those awkward smiles. Now? Now, I am a Marine named Michael Shaw who just came back from his third tour and is now residing in Tennessee. Since all the wars I have fought and the lives I have taken, Earth seems to be in a very calm place. Maybe, my job is done or maybe evil will rise up again for me to take it down. If I am still here that means my job of killing isn’t over yet. In these days of normalcy, I had decided that I would visit the local library and see if my name or something about me had ever come across in the history books, ‘cause I don’t want Dad to find anything to keep me here. As I was strolling this quiet place,I came across a woman. Yes, a woman. A stunningly, beautiful woman. For the record, I have met many of them in my time here. But this woman, … there was something very different about her. You remember that stomach turning feeling I used to have before? Well, this time I did feel my stomach turn but it was more like there were a thousand butterflies flapping their wings together at the same time! My face turned pink and when she smiled at me, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I mean, I am a God and Gods don’t get bowled over by humans. Never happened and never will. But for some reason those rules didn’t apply when she came near me. As she was approaching me, I could feel my heart skip beats. My heart?! When did I ever know I had a heart! I mean, my logic of my existence was seizing to exist the closer she was approaching. And then, it happened. She asked me, “Are you reading that or dropping that?”. For, I guess 30 seconds I was quiet and then when my senses came back in order I replied to her, “Oh, huh, I was just browsing through it. You can have it.” “Oh thank you. By the way, my name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Perkins. But my friends call me Liz.” “Nice to meet you Elizabeth, uh, I mean Liz. My name is Michael and uh, I, I guess everyone just calls me that.” “Haha! You are funny Michael, with no nick name.” “Thank you … I guess?” “Hmm, a man of few words and a gentleman.” “ :-) “ … “So Michael, would you like to have a coffee with me once I am done carrying this book to the counter?” “Uh, uh, yes, yes I would love to have coffee with you!” After that, well, what do I say? I was taken. I was hers. I belonged to her. My every fabric was meant for her. I knew it didn’t make sense but I didn’t care. I started smiling. I laughed when we were together. We went to see the movies. We went on Dates to the mountains and the beaches. I swear, whenever she used to gaze me with those enchanting eyes of hers, I could feel like I was in heaven. Whenever we kissed, it was like time had stopped moving. And when I was in her arms, the only thing I could feel was peace. Somewhere, deep down in that blackened, destroyed soul of mine, I knew that this was my reward. That after all those years of being a monster and killing and death, I was finally rewarded with this abundant feeling of joy. I was … I was in love. And as the days passed and the more I spent time with Liz, I could feel the monster peeling away and I was more human with her. More of a man who just wanted this woman’s love. Who wanted the simple life and make that white picket fence and make a family with her! Oh, I tell you, it was like a dream. A dream I never wanted to wake up from. But alas, not all things go the way we want 'cause we all know who actually holds all the strings …</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"I'll say this: The scariest monster in the world is human beings and what we are capable of, especially when we get together."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Jordan Peele</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was a night I wouldn’t ever forget. For the world, it was just another summer night with the wind teasing the leaves and the moon light just piercing through the clouds. But for me, it was a night Dad came back. I was lying in bed with Liz who was fast asleep when I felt a sense. It was a eerie feeling which I had felt before and I knew that in all of the cosmos there was only one being capable enough to make me feel this. I stepped out of bed and tried to be as quiet as I can and walked towards the hall where I saw him standing next to the window. Hands folded and yet again looking out towards the horizon. I didn’t wanted to speak because for the 1st time I didn’t wanted to go back home because I was home with Liz. But then he spoke with his all-powerful voice. He said, “You look good Luci. And I like the fact that you used your brother’s name as your own. I bet no woman would be charmed by a man who calls himself Lucifer!” He then smirked and I saw that smirk filled with taunt and insult. “What do you want dad? I kept my part of the deal. I did exactly what you asked of me. And before you say anything, I am telling you, I don’t care what your opinion or verdict is, I don’t wanna go back. I am happy where I am, so please leave and never come back.” “Hahaha! You think it’s that simple my boy? Don’t you remember I promised you that when the time comes I will personally come and take you back? Well, now is that time boy. Pack your bags, you are coming home.” “No! No, I won’t go back. I told you, I am happy here. I am happy being a human being. Please just go away. See, I am sparing you all the trouble. You don’t have to ever hear from me again. It was like I never existed.” “We are who we are son. No matter how hard you try to run away from it, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, in the end, our true selves always prevail.” I don't know why those words shook me. Like some part of me wanted to hear that. “What … what do you mean?” “You are a God my Son! A God Of War! Do you know how much you have killed? Do you know how many souls you have taken and do you know how much you have enjoyed it? You are a monster Luci. Always were. Always will be.” What was he doing to me? Why did everything he say make so much of sense? “What, what are you doing to me? Why am I feeling so weird? What is this? Is this some kind of spell you are doing on me? Stop it dad! Please stop it! What’s, … what’s happening to me. Why, … why do I feel such incredible power? What is happening to me?” I swear I could feel my blood pump. My muscles got tensed and I could feel my soul on fire. Like a light had been switched on. “Nothing is happening to you my son, I am just reminding you, the real you, who you truly are!” Why was he so right? Why was I agreeing to him? “I … I can feel it! This power, oh my, this incredible power! It’s coming back to me. I … I remember everything! All that killing! All that Punishment!” “Yes my son. Don’t you remember how much you loved it! How much you relished all those battles and wars!” “I remember father! I remember who I am. I am your Bounty Hunter. I am Your Punisher and that is who I always will be. I hated the fact that the old man was indeed right about me! Love, … love is not who I am! It won’t ever make me feel whole. War will! Blood will! Death will!” “Yes my son, my dear Lucifer, come back to me!” “Tell me what should I do Father.” “Do this one thing for me and become the son I know I can grow to accept as a boy who did that one mistake. Become the god I know I created you to be. Take this gun and put a bullet through that woman’s head who is sleeping in your room. Kill her and end this charade of love you think you deserve. Destroy this mirage and end this false reality of yours. Do as I command my son!” “Your … your wish is my command father.” He was right. He was right all along!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"There aren't that many monsters. It's very hard to create a new monster."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-George A. Romero</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">And there I was. That magnum in my hand. Pointing straight at her. Point blank range. The moment I squeeze the trigger, her life would seize to exist and all that I shared with this beautiful woman would be gone forever. But I know I have too. I have to end this torment. I have to end her suffering because only by doing that will I ever be free. Now I know. Now, I know that this was Dad’s plan all along. This was the Punishment he wanted to inflict upon me. It wasn’t the countless lives I took. It was this. Making me kill the one thing which made me feel whole. I could sense him standing there, besides the door. Piercing me with his eyes. Still judging me and wanting to see my suffering. I could feel immense power in me but I knew that even with all my might, I couldn’t battle the all-mighty creator. But as I saw the gun pointing towards her I sensed a feeling in me. It wasn’t anger or hatred. It was something else. A feeling of complete sense and enlightenment. I suddenly knew what it was I was meant to do. So the next moment, just before I was about to squeeze the trigger, I lowered the gun and leaned down to kiss her forehead. This one final time, I kissed her gently and looked at her. Looked at her with all my might because I knew I would never be able to look at her again. I sensed a tear fall on my cheek. And I let it. And then I walked towards dad. You would had thought I would had tried the shoot the cocky bastard for pulling such a stunt on me. But no, I didn’t do that. I gave him the gun and just hugged him. Oh yes, I hugged the old man. I hugged him tightly and I felt like I never wanted to let go. “Luci, … Lucifer, what are you doing? What. Are. You. Doing?” “I am sorry dad. I am so sorry! I never wanted to object you. I never wanted to insult you. I made a mistake and for that I am truly sorry!” “Lucifer, its … it’s ok. Let go. Let go. Let …” And then you would never guess what happened. My dad started crying. He hugged me tight and cried! Cried like a little baby! We both were crying! And oh my, it was so magical! I had never felt such tranquility. It was a moment I would never ever forget. After we regained our senses and tried pretending that it was just the ‘dust in the air that went in our eyes’ I told him what I felt had to be said. “I don’t belong in heaven dad. Truth be told, I never did. But I don’t belong here either. You were right about me. I am the God Of War and no matter how hard I try to hide that, I know I won’t ever be able to deny it. I love Liz, I truly do. But we both know she deserves better. I am not good enough for her. I have blood on my hands and a Beast like me deserves to be alone.” “What are you saying son?” “I am saying send me to Hell. Make me in-charge of Hell. I will command the dark demons there and I will torment the souls that have done evil here on earth. it was where a Monster like me truly belongs. A place surrounded by death and decay and war and waste.” “Are you sure this is what you truly want? There is still time to go back to your normal life Luci.” “No dad, you coming here was actually the truth I was hiding from. I mean, yes, I do have love in me but it took you one moment to remind me who I was. Something for years I wanted to forget but we all know that you can take the dog out of the fight but you can never take the fight out of the dog.” “Ok, my son. As you wish.” “No father, it will be as you wanted. As you had commanded all those eons ago.” “In all of my creations I never knew I would make a something so incredible as you my son. I am … I am proud of you.” “Dad, before the ‘dust’ creeps thought the window again, I think it’s time you do what you must but before I go I have just one request.” “My son … anything. Just say.” “Promise me that you will give Liz the most happiest life a mortal can have. Make her find love again. Give her strength to face all her challenges and make her the beacon of kindness and care. Make her forget me and give her all that she deserves.” “Consider it done my son.” “Thank you dad and I … I love you.” “I love you too my son and remember, you aren’t a God or a Monster or a Man … you are something much more. Something I will never be able to name.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is Me Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this was a story of a being who was much more than a god, monster or a man.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">With All My Might,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your No.1 Fan,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-38649452475106938812017-06-22T12:57:00.002-07:002017-06-22T12:57:50.772-07:00Maxx Mccullen, You Old Cheeky Bastard!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><i><b>“There will come a time, as it does once in a billion years that this mortal will possess the power of the universe. And he won’t be gifted this greatness. No. He would have to go through great trials and sacrifices to obtain this immortality. And when he does, he will change the world. But the question is, will he make it a better place or lead it to its impending doom?”</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I want to die! You heard me, I want to die! I can’t stand living anymore! This place is hell I tell you, Hell! It stinks with nothingness and the silence is deafening. Wherever I look, I see emptiness. No matter how hard I scream I hear only the remnants of my own echo. This place is dead. In fact more dead than the 9th circle of hell. I wanna go away from this place. I don’t want my existence to be attached to this cursed land. Please, somebody help me! My name is Maxx Mcullen, and if anybody is out there, I want to tell you that I am still alive and I am the Last Man On Earth! To whomever it may concern, and wherever you are from. If you are an alien just discovering our planet or a human from another dimension. If you find this, know that I tried my best to survive but in the end I gave up. I just had too. But in order to understand why I am only moments away from my death, I need to tell you how it all began. I need to tell you how this beautiful planet which harboured life became the place where only death lingered …</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Mahatma Gandhi</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was a beautiful day. Oh it was. The sun was blessing us with it’s warmth. The children were playing in the park with their balloons. Couples of all ages were holding hands, kissing and hugging. It was truly a sight to see. It was like god was making a beautiful painting here on earth. I could feel the cold breeze from the ocean touching my cheeks. I inhaled the air around me and let my body take it all in. I tried not to blink because I wanted to be in this moment forever. Oh, I was finally home. I was finally home because the war was over. I did my time over there and I knew that after the love for country the only thing that mattered to me was the love of the most beautiful woman in this world, my fiancé and soon to be wife, Lindsay Shaw. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Black and white are the colors of photography. To me they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair to which mankind is forever subjected."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Robert Frank</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Lindsay, my high school sweet heart. I knew I was in love with her the moment I accidentally bumped into her during lunch. Of course she was cursing me and telling me to go to hell ‘cause I had dropped her food but the freckles on her face and that wavy, streaked hair which just came below her neck did the trick for me. I knew I was smitten. After that, for the next 3 months whenever I tried to go and talk to her she would point blank refuse to acknowledge me. If it was english class or during football practice, she never ever even once saw me. I was about to give up but then I decided if I was going to be rejected I rather hear it on my face. And so, the day Prom was announced, I went up to her at the same place where I first bumped into her. She was with her friends, giggling and being oh so freaking beautiful. I turned her around and gazed into her enchanting dark brown eyes and asked her the question every boy is terrified to ask a girl in high school, “Lindsay, Would You Go To Prom With me?” I swear the next 3 seconds felt like an eternity but what she said felt like heaven. She said, “Yes. Pick me up by 7pm? Ok. See ya!” … And since that day, she never ever said no to me, not even once.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Keri Russell</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Today, Me and Lindsay have come to this park because this was the last place we were at before I was shipped. Before leaving I had told her, “Lindsay Shaw, I am going to marry you the moment I get back and I promise you, I will come back. I will cheat death if I have too but I will be back in your beautiful hands and embrace you in a hug so tight you will tell me to let go! And then, I am going to make sweet babies with you and we will have a beautiful family and I will love you until the end of time.” She said Yes with teary eyes and told me to go and fight the good fight and get my sexy toned ass back to her. She knew how to make a man blush. So today, I look into her eyes again for the billionth time and fall in love all over again and I feel blessed that this magnificent woman chose to love me. I hold her face in my hands and kiss her. Kiss her with all my might because for the first time in a very long time I felt that this would be the very last time I would get to do that. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Some of our important choices have a time line. If we delay a decision, the opportunity is gone forever. Sometimes our doubts keep us from making a choice that involves change. Thus an opportunity may be missed."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-James E. Faust</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I don’t remember what happened after that. I didn’t see any white light. There were no sirens. No bombs fell. No dead came back to life. When I woke up, there was only silence and nothing else. It was like I was stuck in my own home alone movie. Like the entire people of the world decided to leave earth and abandoned me here as Punishment. I couldn’t believe it for a while. I mean the buildings were the same. The lights were still on. Heck, the internet was still working! So why didn’t this make any sense! Where was everybody? I looked for Lindsay everywhere. The phones were working but it was going directly to voicemail. I went to our house and all our stuff was the way we had left it. The plates were in the sink. The clothes were all dried up but there was no trace of Lindsay anywhere. Before the panicked kicked in I thought I was hallucinating or dreaming but when the slaps to my face made me realise I was no longer asleep, pure fear engulfed me! I couldn’t believe this was happening! Was this the rapture? I was an atheist for crying out loud so why was I the only one left behind? It just didn’t make any sense. Or did it?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Anais Nin</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">So what does a man do when he is all alone? When that dreaded feeling finally sinks in? Well, he survives. And he hopes that he isn’t the only one out there. And that is what I did. You see I am a Marine. I was trained to live in harsh conditions. Surviving is what we do best. So I started stacking up supplies as that was the first thing on the list. Get all the food you can. Get plenty and I mean plenty of water. And yes, who can forget toilet paper? I never had realised that Vons Supermarket had so much of Food! Luckily for a guy like me who was into Crossfit and a very strict diet regiment, food was only a necessity and not used as a Luxury. While strolling through the aisles of this massive super market, listening to Sorry by Justin Bieber which has been stuck on repeat since no one is there to change it, it felt weird and yet somehow exhilarating to be the only one in the store! If this was before A-Day {Apocalypse Day} I would had told Lindsay to get me the hell out of here as I have had the fear of being locked inside a super store! Lindsay, … I do miss her but I know I must live on for her. No, I didn’t dig an empty grave for her ‘cause as you know, she didn’t die. She just disappeared. Disappeared like the rest of the world. And even though that was a feeling more sad than death itself, I don’t know why I couldn’t shake the thought that this was all my doing.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot forever fence it out."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-J. R. R. Tolkien</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“Give in to me maxx. I know you want too. Just say yes and I will give you the greatness that you seek. Just say yes.” … Why do I hear those words as a whisper? Why do they keep coming back? Is someone talking to me or is it just a dream I can let go off? It puzzles me but when I close my eyes and breathe to 10 and open them again that voice dissipates and what I see is the nothingness. The nothingness that I have gotten used to now … </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Steven Wright</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So the days, turned into weeks and the weeks eventually turned into months. Since I knew I was literally the only one left alive, ‘cause the emergency radio frequency had zero chatter for which felt like eons, I had to create a pattern, a routine, a time table to keep myself occupied and not go insane. The day started every morning at 5am. The alarm on the iPhone went off and the phone came to life. Since I was also a gizmo freak I found a way to connect the phone, through wifi to the mega home theatre system I installed in the house. The song Stupefy would roar on the gigantic speakers and that sudden burst of electric guitar was the indication that it was a start of a new day. After that it was making my bed and having a strong black cup of coffee. You see, I stay in the valley so the view from here is breath taking. You can see the entire city from here. If this was before A-Day, cars would had already packed the streets and the radio would had been buzzing with the latest tracks. But now, the only sound I hear is the breath I take that oxygen in and it fills my lungs. So after coffee, it is the 5k Run. Yes, I make it a point to run every morning and going up and down the hill is pretty challenging. But I am getting good at it. It takes me only 40mins now to complete my 5k. I know I know, that’s pretty slow for a Marine but hey, I am getting there. Cut me some slack here, I am the only survivor of A-Day! After the run it is the same breakfast everyday, Scrambled Eggs, Fresh Juice and Milk with some Almonds and a Scoop of Whey Protein. Then, I take my bath, face my face, cream myself and read a book. I have a trillion books to choose from now. Then by 12pm I start making preparations for lunch. It’s grilled chicken breast with a nice clean salad, some sweet potatoes and some grilled vegetables. After cleaning the dishes and burping a few times, I see if I am feeling sleepy or not. If I am then I take a 10-20mins power nap or I just watch some documentary on youtube. Did you know it would take an individual more than 275,000 light years to finish viewing every upload on youtube alone! Which means I have loads and loads of content. Al though there isn't any new content out their in the world, the content I see now is quite entertaining for one soul. After that by 4pm I have another shot of Black Coffee and then by 5pm I am at the local Crossfit Box. Yes, training helps me and keeps me distracted. The music is of course through the roof and I myself make the WOD’s {Workout Of The Day}. After sweating and panting and challenging myself with those heavy weights I head back home and take a bath yet again. Since it gets pretty dark at night I have now linked my neighbouring houses with my electrical grid. So when I switch on the lights almost half a block lights up! After bath its time for some Playstation 4. Whether it is Call Of Duty World War II or Days Gone, I am hooked into perfecting my campaign by trying to not even die once. I can’t play multiplayer ‘cause you know. After an hour or two engrossed in that I start making dinner. Dinner is fruits, grilled salmon with lemon squeezed on it. Some mashed potatoes , grilled veggies again and a glass of coke zero as I don't drink alcohol. My cheat day is only on Saturdays so that is why you don’t see me hogging on chips or ice creams. After dinner, it is time for a movie. When I was in Afghanistan, I didn’t know that now mostly all the big networks are on the net! And so, now I have over 5 million episodes of television and nearly 400,000 films to watch! Yes I do sometimes binge watch on a few good shows but the other times I make sure I start a new show altogether and oh yeah, every night from monday to sunday, I watch a movie from a different genre and if I am in the mood for it, an international language film with subtitles. So it’s one episode of a tv show followed by a movie. After that, if I am tired I directly go to bed and if I'm not, I go to the terrace and just gaze at the stars. The pollution of the city still blocks nearly 80% of star light but even then, the view is serene and calm. I talk to them you know. The stars and the planets and the universe. They are like my friends and it feels good to tell them how the day went. But I wonder with astonishment that why don’t I cry? Like I am the only man left on earth so why don’t I tremble? Why am I not sad or depressed? Why is it that every night when I am up here looking into the blackness of the city below, that I have a huge smile on my face …</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Sunlight fell upon the wall; the wall received a borrowed splendor. Why set your heart on a piece of earth, O simple one? Seek out the source which shines forever."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Rumi</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">“I am giving you a gift Maxx. A gift given to only one, once in a billion years. I see that darkness in you. I see that void. Say Yes to me and fill it up. Say yes to me and I will never let you go hungry again.” There it is again! Damn it! Who is there? Is some one still alive and playing tricks with me? Why is that voice so familiar? I know I have heard it before. I know it’s trying to tell me something. Something that I have forgotten. Or maybe something I don’t want to remember …</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"These are the soul's changes. I don't believe in ageing. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Virginia Woolf</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">When you are alone, time becomes irrelevant. I have stopped checking calendars and dates some time ago. What I remember is that it has been two summers since A-Day happened. I can say that ‘cause now I cover my 5k in under 20mins and I have achieved the Muscle-Up in Crossfit as well. If you would take a look at me I have veins popping from every muscle of my body and I have changed my hair style and beard look almost 7 times. When you are alone, you are your own fashion guru. And when you are alone you get the freedom to even walk naked at hollywood boulevard and take a selfie at beverly hills. Yes, I have travelled. I car jacked mostly all the cars I could find since I became familiar with that tool in Iraq. I remember it was my 2nd tour over there since the corps said I had exhausted going to Afghanistan so many times. Our platoon was ambushed by insurgents from three sides and we were taking heavy fire. The only way out was through a wall and so I quickly hot wired the truck under a heavy barrage of bullets and praying to god it had the will to function. Thanks to my East L.A. skills the truck came to life and then I rammed that wall to our freedom to live for another day. So I went from L.A. to New York to Washington to Baltimore and almost every city and town I could cover in this big land known as the United States of America. I climbed mountains. Tented at The Grand Canyon and made beaches my home. I was inspired to make friends out of Basket and Volley Balls but I knew, that Tom Hanks already used that idea in Cast Away. So I ditched that idea and started taking a lot of pictures wherever I went. I guess it was like I was making new memories for me after A-Day. But one day, the most astonishing thing happened. I remember I was cutting veggies for myself before dinner time and I accidentally cut my finger. I did feel a shrill which was an indication that the pain of the exposed skin would give in a few seconds along with the blood flow. But as I was trying to suck the blood, I couldn’t feel anything. Like I wasn’t bleeding at all! The skin didn’t cut, the pain wasn’t there and there was no feeling of the blade whatsoever. For a second I shit you not I was in disbelief. I mean, how can I not be bleeding right now? And so I did the next obvious crazy thing. I took the blade and cut myself again but my skin didn’t cut! I tried several more times but the result was the same. My brain wasn’t working and wasn’t giving me the right signals to function so I tried to amp up my crazy impenetrable skin rush. I tried burning myself, I didn’t burn. I tried stabbing myself, that didn’t work either. I even tried jumping off a 5-story building but that didn’t kill me either! And then when every source of killing myself was used up I went to the Gun store and filled the 12-Gauge Shotgun and pointed straight to my face. I knew that this would do the trick. I closed my eyes, inhaled and squeezed the trigger. The shock wave of the sound threw me out of the chair and I could hear the windows of the shop crack. But when I opened my eyes I could still breathe and blink and move. Yes, I was still alive! Then suddenly it happened. That thought, that lingering thought at the back of my head. It came. And then suddenly, it all made sense. I knew why this all happened. Why I was the man who made every living organism disappear into nothingness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Nelson Mandela</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I remember. I remember how this all happened. I remember everything. Ever since I was a kid, adventure was in my blood. Whether it was trying to be the best in sports or topping the class with Straight A’s, I always was challenging myself. It was one achievement after the next. And I conquered it all. I knew I was unstoppable and that one day I would change the world. That is why my hand was always raised when the teacher asked to submit our homework or when the principal asked for a student to volunteer for extra hours in school or when Lindsay dared me to jump off a 100 feet cliff right into the ocean. Adventure and thrill was always a part of me. And that is why I joined the Marines. To know that I would be in a constant war with the enemy was exhilarating! To have a war that never ends! What could be more magical than that? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news? </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-W. Somerset Maugham</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">One day when me and my platoon were doing recon in the outskirts of Fallujah, we were struck by a threatening ambush of more than 80 insurgents! The bullets just started coming from all sides and we were clearly outgunned! Our radio got it and we were sitting ducks. My Marines were stone cold war machines and I had faith in them that they would protect each other and somehow push through. But after nearly 600 rounds of bullets and grenades and dodging and evading, me, being the platoon leader somehow knew that we won’t be getting out of this alive. And then, it happened. Rick, my 2nd in command got hit on the shoulder and was down. I saw him fall down hard and the first thing I did was try to stop the blood. The medic was on the other side of the road trying hard to lay in cover behind the debris of the walls that were about to tumble down any second. I was telling Rick to stay strong and just hold on. I knew he needed immediate medical attention otherwise the blood loss would be his death. And then suddenly I heard a buzz on the satellite phone! That damn thing still had life in this god forsaken place! I got hold of the base and told them to send immediate reinforcements. I told them send them all! The air strike, the artillery, everything! We were under heavy fire! Base got the coordinates of our locations and within the next 50 seconds the entire area was bombarded with artillery shells! Within the next minute the Bad Boy, our Gunship circling above hit the ground with heavy J-Bombs and after that, all we could see was dust and ruble. We got those sons of bitches and we made them meet their maker! The platoon cheered and hurrayed in excitement and within the next 10mins the EMT’s arrived and took Rick back to Base. He was going to make it. I was ordering my platoon to head back to base ‘cause I knew we had enough of action for one day and this one was a close call. I was almost in the seat of the Humvee when I remembered that during the gunfight, Rick accidentally dropped his utility bag. I told the Marine sitting at the steering wheel to give me a sixty {one minute} to go and get it. He did as ordered with gum in his mouth. The bag was easy to find but just when I was about to pick it up I heard a sound, like a bullet breaking the sound barrier and after a second I felt a sting in my chest. I was trying to make my hands find the source of the pain but then suddenly everything was fading away. A moment later I could only faintly hear the marines scream my name but other than that I couldn’t understand what they were saying. And after that it was just blackness. And in that blackness is when I made the choice … the choice to live forever.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>Sad things happen. They do. But we don't need to live sad forever. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Mattie Stepanek</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">When I opened my eyes, all I could see was white. No noice. No air. No sound. Just white. Wherever I turned my eyes, there was nothing but the whiteness. I knew I was dead but I didn’t know that when you die you see this whiteness. I thought it was the blackness and a void. But this felt calm for some reason. And then, I tried to speak but I couldn’t hear my voice. Like someone pressed the mute button on me. And then suddenly from a far, I could see a figure approaching me. This entity wasn’t running or howling or coming at me with a blade. It was just walking towards me, like it had all the time in the world. And after what I thought was 5mins here on earth, I saw who it was. It was a man. An old man, maybe in his 70’s. Well, a man who looked very fit at 70. He had a nice thick salt and pepper beard and a nice set of white hair. I had to admit, this man certainly had a personality. When he was nearly 10 feet away from me I tried to move back but couldn’t as my feet were planted on the ground, like I was submerged in concrete. When this man came close to me is when I noticed that he had no eyes. Only a nothingness covering the space where his eyes should had been. He just came close to me and stared. I have never been afraid of anything my entire life but today after death had taken me, looking at this man I was truly afraid. After what felt like a millennia the man finally spoke. “Maxx, you are dead. You died because you were meant too. And if you are wondering who I am? Well, I am the Reaper and I am here to collect your soul and wager your sins. it is time for your judgement. I was awestruck by what he just said and I don’t know but something in me refused to accept what he said and then I opened my mouth, knowing I had no voice but tried anyways. And when I did that I could feel a vowel forming at the tip of my tongue and that is when I knew that I could finally speak and so I said, “No! I will not allow you to take my soul! I am not meant to die this soon! I am only 30 years old dammit! There is so much more that I wanna do! No! You can’t take me right now! I refuse!” I knew that the repercussions for my outburst would be severe but then the most unlikely thing happened. The reaper just gazed into me and said, “They said you would say that.” And he followed that with a sly smile. And I said, “Excuse me? Who said that? What are you talking about?”. “The gods said it Maxx. You see, they have been watching you since the time you were born. They always knew that you were the one. The one who would make the Prophecy come true.” I was completely out of sync by this time but then the Reaper continued saying,”Maxx, you were always the chosen one. Deep down, in your bones, in your cells, in the fibre of your soul, you knew it yourself that you were one day meant for greatness. And no love, no friendship, no achievement could ever compete with the burning fire you had within you. You knew that one day a time would come when you would have to choose. Choose between a life of simplicity, with Lindsay and your kids and that perfect white picket fence or the Greatness that you truly desire, no matter what the cost would be. Am I not right?” “Yes, … Yes, you are. I … I always wanted more from this world. I always wanted more from my own life. I knew that this wasn’t it. That there was something more out there waiting for me to grab and make it mine. I always knew that one day I would finally become Legendary.” “Well Maxx, now is your chance. In front of you are two doors. The door on the left will lead to paradise where Lindsay awaits you. At least a form of hers. And there you can live a life of pure bliss and harmony. A life which you think will be as real as living. A life, which a man like you truly deserves. And on the right is the door which takes you back to the living. But there is a catch, when you wake up, you won’t remember that we met or the things we spoke about and the deal you made with the gods. But I promise one day soon the time will come when you will finally remember how you came about in the new world and then every thing will make sense to you. And before you give me an answer, the Gods already know which door you will choose. They know you will choose the Door on the Right.” I literally had no words to say. I just looked at him and smiled and for some weird reason I hugged him. I hugged him tight and embraced him with a feeling of pure gratitude. And then I walked towards the door on the right and opened it. Just when I was about to go through it, the Reaper told me something that I didn’t expect. He said, “Maxx, before you walk through that door, it is my duty to ask you again to choose wisely. No matter whatever the gods say, you need to know what happens once you go through that door. You will pay the heaviest price any man has ever paid. You will be cursed and gifted at the same time. You will regret and rejoice forever. There won’t be a single moment when you won’t feel alone and complete at the same exact moment. Your memories will always be there but there will be nothing you can do to make them go away. What you ask today is the ultimate form of greatness. The stuff legends are made off. But no one will be there to see you gain that aura. You will always be alone but always in a state of adventure and thrill. And yes, you will never die, no matter how much you will want it one day.” I listened to every word he said and then told him, “I am counting on it.” And then I the only thing I remember was that I was in the hospital bed at the base and I was alive!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Chuck Palahniuk</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Yes, you can call me a monster. You can call me the bringer of death. Hell, you can call me the purest personification of evil itself! But trust me, I know why I made this choice! Look at me! I am indestructible! I cannot die! I am immortal and I will live forever and now I have the entire world as my kingdom! The gods gifted me this power! To create a new! To be the only one left standing! I am Maxx Mccullen and I am the man who cheated death! That guilt of dying is not there anymore. Not when I know I am the cause of all this! I am the reason no one is here. This place is my home now. The gods knew I would make this choice. That my life was meant for something more than falling in love and making friends and living for others. My life was meant to be of Greatness, no matter what the cost was! The Maxx who began this story, isn’t the same Maxx who is going to finish it. That Maxx was the mere shadow, a dying grace of the man I once used to be. But after nearly 3 years living alone, I can tell you, it feels amazing! I know now what my purpose is! My purpose is the bring meaning to the gift that I have been given. Not to cry in remorse of the choice I made but to make the most of the man that I can be with the immorality that I have been given. I know one day the lights won’t work. The Nuclear plants will explode and the food will run out. But that day isn’t today and until that day comes I will make this life a beautiful one. I will make a life of greatness! So I say again to whomever it is out there, I am Maxx Mccullen and I am the Man Who Changed The World! I am the Man who lived Forever!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this was a story about a man named Maxx Mccullen. Maxx Mccullen, … That Old Cheeky Bastard!</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">With All My Might,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your No.1 Fan,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com9Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-13351023658912121512017-01-05T10:29:00.002-08:002017-01-05T10:29:40.105-08:00Code Name: Reaper ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">“We have seen them all. We have seen the tyrants and the healers. We have seen the monsters and the gods. But never have we seen a specimen like this. A man so relentless, so focused that even ‘The Higher Ones’ fear his power. He is like no other. He is truly The Chosen One.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">-The Book Of Prophecies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The weather is beautiful today. The wind is in a playful mood as it touches my cheeks and withers away. It teases me to come and play with it. The sun and the tress are in a quarrel of their own. The trees as tall as buildings with leaves greener than the garden of eden are not allowing the rays to come through. But eventually, with it’s brute force, the rays win and pierce through the leaves and remind me with their warmth that there is only true dominant force that governs us all. Below in the plains I see the HVT. {High Value Target} He is sitting in his lazy boy chair and smoking his favourite cuban cigars. He does that everyday sharp at 4pm. The HVT is a man of strict habit. I would know that ‘cause I am just like him. But the only difference between me and him is that I have my finger at the trigger and he has his on his cigar. I am hidden well under the trees and the brown soil below me gives me the perfect cover. I have three different variants of the Camo Suit. {Camouflage Gear} And today I have chosen the Desert Camo Gear so I blend in with mother nature. While the sunlight is almost heavenly today it is also my greatest asset as below no one can suspect where the shot will come from. The sound of the bullet will be echoed throughout the valley but no one will be able to pinpoint the actual location of the shot. And by the time they do, I will be long gone. I notice the HVT is having a laugh with his men. Men covered in masks and who carry AK Machine Guns. There weren’t any lip-reading classes back in BUD/S {Basic Underwater Demolition/Seal Training} but if there was an option I would had taken it. Maybe I would had laughed along with these men. But for the last 3 months, laughter isn’t something I associate myself too that well. For the last 3 months I have been here, behind enemy lines in a place too classified to even mention. That part of the world where humanity died long before humans ever existed. A country torn by civil war and people like the HVT who picked up the remaining pieces and corrupted men and children into joining his crusade to free the world of the west. For many people here he is like a hero, a icon, a messiah even. But I know what evil looks like. And that HVT over there, he is the impersonation of pure evil. </span></div>
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<b>"'T is strange that death should sing.<br />I am the cygnet to this pale faint swan,<br />Who chants a doleful hymn to his own death,<br />And from the organ-pipe of frailty sings<br />His soul and body to their lasting rest."</b></div>
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<b>-</b><b style="font-size: 11pt;">William Shakespeare</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Who am I you ask? My name is Max Shepherd. A cali boy. Born and raised near the ocean with loving parents who left me a long time in a drunk driver accident. Al though I am right now telling you all about this ‘Classified’ mission I am actually a very shy, soft-spoken guy who talks only when necessary. In other words I am more of an observer. If you don’t believe you can ask the friends I had back home in California who used to call me Max ‘The Mute’ ‘cause I hardly spoke. I sometimes wonder why they were so kind to me and always included me in their group. This one time, before any of this. Before the enlistment, before the realisation of the journey a boy needs to take to become a man, my friends dragged me to this party at the beach which I had no interest to go too. But there, in the twilight of the night, right at the shore line, where the waves come and merged with the grains of sand, I saw the woman whom I fell in love with the moment I laid eyes on her. Her name was Lindsay Emerson and she was studying at the University of San Diego taking up Biophysics. When she looked at me and gave me that smile, I never guessed that in a million years that a beauty like Lindsay would go out with a quiet jock like me. She was truly an angel and it was the most beautiful date I had ever been too. Before I dropped her off I went in for a kiss while trying to hug her and she being the smarty she was, chuckled and told me, “Silly, that isn’t how you kiss a girl.” And then she kissed me and I swear to god it was like the fourth of july! And after that we never looked back. We become the couple everyone loved and all knew that very soon I would go on my knees and ask her the most important question of any bachelor’s life. But you see, life isn’t always how we think it to be. It was at that point of time the war broke out and our country needed men to enlist and show those evil bastards that tyranny won’t have the last laugh. And I knew I had to enlist. Even though Lindsay didn’t agree I knew it in my gut, like a calling that I had to be there, fighting for freedom. And then just like that everything changed forever. </span></div>
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<b>"Cowards die many times before their deaths;<br />The valiant never taste of death but once."</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">It was 3 years ago when I enlisted for the Marines. Our country needed her young men and women to stand up and fight and to be Marine and serve your country, was the greatest honour of them all. And the moment I walked inside those doors I knew it in my bones that it was a marine that I was meant to become. And so, my journey with the Marines began. All those days at Camp Pendleton truly took me to the limit. Day in and day out we trained. In the dirt, in the rain, in the mud and in the heat, we pushed and pushed until we had nothing left to give. And when our bodies gave up, our drill sergeant made us push harder. After all, the Marines Are The Few, The Proud. And after those gruelling 13 weeks I was a Proud Marine. And I was no longer Max ‘The Mute’ Shepherd either. It was like something in me woke up. like a beast who had gone for a long hibernation. Lindsay didn’t come for my inauguration. A part of me knew she wouldn’t. She was against the war and also she told me she won’t support me going ‘Over There’. She said I was making a mistake. “It isn’t like you have to enlist! You can be here with me. You can be safe. I don’t want to loose you. I don’t want that man in uniform knocking at my door and telling me with his grieving eyes that your husband died while fighting for his country. I don’t want that Max. I faced that horror with my dad. I can’t go through it again with you. I won’t allow that.” That was the last thing she told me before she hung up the phone. I knew I heard her sobbing. But she being the stubborn woman she was, she didn’t wanted to admit it. She didn’t know that if she would had come that day I would had put a ring on her finger and would had told her how much I loved her. But I didn’t get that opportunity. You see, I have come to realise that people do get to fall in love but the fire in them always reminds them that they are meant for bigger much greater things. </span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">We were deployed the moment I got my badge and I was part of the MARSOC {Marine Corps Special Forces}. Marines as you know it are one of the finest breeds of warriors on the planet. We go where the action is and we went and took care of the missions that were bestowed upon us. For the next 3 years since I said my 1st “Oorah” we overcame every obstacle. But it was when I was is Fallujah that I realised that the powers above had something else planned for me. We were fighting back the insurgency in the city and we knew that within the next 48 hours the city would be free of the imperial forces. I was by that time promoted to Lance Corporal {LCpl} from Private First Class {PFC}. Our mission was to clear three blocks of buildings which intelligence indicated to be enemy strongholds. The mission was going smooth. Barge in, check, double check and then onto the next building. Since I was in charge of the mission I was first in, last out, just how I liked it. But then, when we were in the last building that strange gut feeling started tingling inside of me. Like the ‘spidey’ sense spider-man gets. Even though that ‘instinct’ was growing, I shook it off and started approaching the building. I was only 25 feet away from the main door when I felt the wind move and my eyes went to the building right across and there I saw an insurgent with a RPG {Rocket Propelled Grenade} and he had me on his sights. Even though my reaction time would had kicked in, I knew I wouldn’t survive the impact. But just a mili-second later, which felt like an eternity I heard the sound of a bullet and before you knew it, the insurgent’s head was splattered in two and the entire platoon cheered and howled like wolves. It was at that time my eyes locked with the Navy Seal Sniper that saved my life and I knew from that moment on, my life would never be the same again.</span></div>
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<b>"Death is the king of this world: 'tis his park<br />Where he breeds life to feed him. Cries of pain<br />Are music for his banquet."</b></div>
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<b>-</b><b style="font-size: 11pt;">George Eliot</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The moment I came back form my 3rd tour in Iraq I went and visited the Navy Seals Centre. The recruiter told me that to be a Navy Seal was one of the most privileged things a man can do. But only if a man can survive it’s brutal training. I loved being a Marine but that voice inside of me sang a different tune now and I knew that it wanted me to be a Navy Seal Sniper. Without wasting another moment I signed up to enlist as a Navy Seal and the recruiter told me that my training would begin in 3 weeks. Since I had no time to waste the first thing I did was inform my chain of command with the marines that I am trying to be a Seal Sniper. “You are one of the finest soldiers I know Max. I will hate to loose you. But if this is something that you wanna do, then God Speed to you son.” And then I gave him my salute and my last “Oorah” and walked away. Lindsay and me were not in the best of terms during this period. But when I had made that phone call from Iraq and told her I was coming home, I sensed that she still loved me and was delighted to see me back, al though she didn’t wanted to admit it. That night, after we made love and were having our candle light cheeseburgers dinner I told her that I would be enlisting again. But this time, as a Navy Seal and eventually become a Sniper. I have never seen her so torn. Here was this woman who loved me yet was hurt by the fact that I would be going away again. “What will it take me to stop this Max? When will you ever feel complete with me? Will I never be enough for you? Do you love war that much that you are killing the one thing that makes us stronger? Why are you pushing me away?” And I told her something I didn’t expect ever sharing with anyone. I said, “I love you Li. You are the love of my life. There is no other who can ever take that place. But I just can't shake this feeling. This feeling inside of me that I have to fight. That I have to give every evil in this world what it deserves. I have to be out there in the fight. And I know even though you and me can have the perfect world here and one day grow old and see our children become lovely human beings, I know in my heart that this is something that I have to do. And I am sorry for that. I am so sorry.” The next day when I woke up I saw a letter in the bed. It read, “I will always love you. But now I have come to realise that you are a fighter and you will always be whole and complete when you are fighting. Good bye Max.” After that, I didn’t care to wipe off the tears which were rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t care when I screamed out so loud that my lungs hurt. I didn’t care to clean the floor of the glasses I broke ‘cause after the world of hurt I felt and the sense of loneliness had engulfed me I sensed a feeling I didn’t feel before. I felt a deep sense of desire. A burning passion. A quest. An invoking. And when I saw my reflection in the mirror I didn’t see the boy who was called ‘The Mute’ but I saw a man who knew what had to be done. At that point I knew it in my bones that I truly was chosen to be something more than just a man. I was meant to be a Sniper.</span></div>
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<b>"While man is growing, life is in decrease;<br />And cradles rock us nearer to the tomb.<br />Our birth is nothing but our death begun."</b></div>
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<b>-</b><b style="font-size: 11pt;">Edward Young</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“Give me 50 push-ups! Come on you little piece of shit! Get a move on! You wanna be a Seal? You want to be the best in the world? Then get on the ground and smell the dirt and give me those god-damn push-ups!” That is what I heard on the 1st day of my Training at Seal School. To be a Navy Seal you have to have heart. Like a fortitude of a Lion. It has been said that more than thousands apply to be a Seal. But on day one itself 90% of candidates walk over to the bell with a beaten heart and quit. In fact, during ‘Hell Week’ the drill sergeants keep telling the men to quit ‘cause quitting will be much more easier than to bare the pain of training which awaits them. But thanks to my Marine Training, I pushed through. But it wasn’t easy. Well, nothing great is ever easy. After I survived ‘Hell Week’ I knew things were about to get only tougher and more challenging but whenever the pain had gotten unbearable that voice inside of me always reminded me who I truly was and what was needed to be done. Over the next 24 weeks, me and my batch mates went through the most hellish training the human body and mind can endure. That was needed in order to pass through the BUD/S Training. But that wasn’t enough. I wanted to be a sniper and there were times when my fingers tensed and longed to pull the trigger when I use to hear gunshots in the distance. Even though it was tempting to go and see the pros at work at the range I knew one day I would be there firing those bullets instead of just looking at them. One weekend, sometime in-between the training we all were given an off to go and splurge and enjoy in the city. Many of my batch mates had wives and girlfriends and some of them just wanted to go to bars and get drunk, and so as the leave was granted not one was left at the bunker station. Well, no one except me. I decided to stay. You know by now I had no one waiting for me in the city and second of all, I wanted to go back to training. It wouldn’t had made me a sniper right there and then but I longed for the challenge of training. The more I trained, the more I calmer and focused I got. And the pain of not having Lindsay in my life was used as a tool to ignite my performance. My Drill Sergeant, Sgt. Lance Mitchell saw me doing the 5k early on saturday morning on the grounds and called me over. “Come take a walk with me Max.” In all my weeks here I never heard him a say a word which sounded ‘Normal’. Hearing that sentence from him surely started an excitement in me. The weather was perfect on this saturday morning at Coronado, CA and in the distance the pelicans were playing catch with each other and the waves were being mischievous. For a while we walked in silence and then finally the Lieutenant spoke. “Do you know what I see when I see you Max? I see a Boy becoming a Man. I see a man who has this tremendous hunger and energy. You really have it in you to become a Seal Max.” “Thank you sir.” I said, as those were the only words that came out of my mouth. “But do you know what makes you special Max? I sense a great darkness in you. A Darkness which normalcy can’t contain. Maybe that is why you became a Marine. Maybe that is why you are here wanting to become one of the most elite of the elite.” “Sir, I don’t know what to say. I … I feel, I know deep within in my bones, in my soul that fighting is what I was born to do. Before the war, before the enlistment, it felt like I was just existing. But ever since I learned how to fight, I felt I became alive!” The LT smiled and said, “Many men live ordinary lives because they think that just by getting by and not pushing themselves, or challenging obstacles or taking risks they will be happy. But I have believed in all my years of living that a man can only be complete when he faces his fears, when he pushes through the barrier of pain, when he is ready to sacrifice everything to achieve his goal. And I believe you are that man.” “I promise I won’t let you down sir. In fact sir, if I have permission to say, I really want to become a Navy Seal Sniper.” “It’s like you are reading my mind Max. I was just about to say that as soon as your BUD/S Training gets completed I want you to apply for Sniper School and I also do believe you will be a great sniper. A sniper needs his soul to be sold to the Reaper in order to take out his targets from far away distances.” “Reaper sir?”. “Yes, the Reaper. You know, like The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper is associated with Death. He is the Monster sent from hell to collect the souls of the damned. He comes without warning and once he has sights locked on you, not even god can stop him. A Sniper is very much like a Reaper. He is a Lethal Weapon of Justice. His bullet comes from nowhere and puts an end to the enemy who has no idea that his end is only a mere seconds away.” “That’s a great way to put it sir.” “Yes, it is. I would know ‘cause I was a Sniper once. And now go and do another 5k and meet at the weapons range.” “Sir! Yes Sir!” When I started that run, I felt a deep sense of happiness. Like it was flooding over me. It was an answer from the universe showing me that every decision that I have taken till now has been absolutely right. And before the cool wind came and touched my face I also had another realisation … I just had found my codename. It would be Code Name: Reaper.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">“Reaper, this is 2-1 Actual. Do you Copy?”. “Yes, 2-1, this is Reaper. Hearing you loud and clear. Over.” “Can we have a status update? Over.” “Yes 2-1. I am right now at the designated location. I have the HVT in my sights. It is a Go. I repeat the mission is a Go. Do I have your orders to comply? Over.” “Yes Reaper, your request is approved. Proceed with the mission. Contact again from the exfil position. Good luck. Over and Out.” It has been 3 years since that day at the beach. Three years since the word Reaper dawned on me. And three years since I ever thought I had any ounce of normalcy left in me. The generals and the majors and the captains call me The Reaper for a reason. It is not just a call sign for me. They say I am cold and deadly and like a demon I am truly the taker of souls. Some even call me The death Machine. A Punisher of sorts. The man who was truly made for war. That is what I have heard. They say the enemy has a bounty on my head. Something like 300,000 dollars and 350,000 if I am captured alive so they can execute me on live television. But since the time I fired my first .50 cal bullet, not once have I missed a target. Somethings are just meant to be. I know I was destined to be a sniper but I never knew that I would become the most feared and lethal sniper in American History. I’ve heard many stories about me. Some of which are true and some which are just pure fantasy. The young cadets sometimes even have the courage to come and ask me how it is to kill a person, I simply tell them, “It’s as easy as breathing.”. I agree, I sometimes must have projected to be strict and tough and would have that ‘No-Time-To-Give-A-Flying-Fuck’ face but I was like that or maybe I am still that way ‘cause I love what I do and I take my job very very seriously. Maybe that is why even after 3 years I don’t have people I can call my friends or family. Maybe that is why I never could find a connect with a person or any human emotion which binds us together. Maybe that is why I have been alone. Maybe that is why I am cut off from the world and always looking for another mission, another target, another war to be a part off. I guess the beast inside of me always wants feeding ‘cause for some reason he never gets fulfilled with the death I give him. No matter how many men I kill, no matter if the kill count has now reached upto 1,200, the beast inside of me wants more and more. Maybe that is why I am out here, behind enemy lines. I guess there is a rush in this. There is a thrill which love or friendship can never give me. And even though there are times when I feel those moments of ‘What ifs?’ I know when I pull the trigger and see the scumbag in my sights take his last breath, everything in the world makes sense. I heard Lindsay moved on and got married recently. I am happy for her. I wanted to wish her personally but I know she wouldn’t want to talk to me. I still have her ring though. It is a constant reminder of the one thing that really meant so much to me.The one thing that I gave up to be here. That knowingness makes me feel stronger. I wouldn’t disagree with you, sometimes it gets very lonely. But all men who become wolves have to wander the jungle alone. Greatness has a price. I know that more than anyone else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I adjust the scope for the very last time. The wind is perfect. I inhale a long breath and see the HVT. He also inhales from his cigar. I wait for him to blow the smoke out. The moment he does, I gently pull the trigger. Within a matter of a second, I see bullet pierce through his head and a fraction later his body is on the ground with the fragments of his brains every where. His personal guards go into a state of shock. They start yelling and within a few seconds later the emergency siren rings. I learnt one thing in sniper school and that is to never underestimate your enemy so instead of giving them the time to even guess where I am, as a surprise I planted some C-4 Explosives all around the facility to go off in sequence. You know, to create a diversion. And the moment I press the button on the remote control, the C-4s, perfect as clockwork start going off one after the other. By this time the whole base has come alive. Guards and soldiers are in a state of disarray. They don’t know what to do or from whom to take orders from. Some men get into their jeeps and drive off towards the blasts, while some stand where they are too scared to do anything. The mission was a success. The HVT is down and now it is time for me to reach the exfil. By now, the blasts must have been the signal to the satellites above that my mission was a success and within 30mins the heli would be waiting for me for my extraction whether I make it there or not. I am right now in radio silence so I don’t give the enemy a way to find my signal and location. I go back to base. Make sure nothing is left behind and just to be sure rig the entire cave with C-4. I give it one last look. This cave was my home for the last 3 months. And then I head out. When I am about 500 metres away I press the button and the entire caves collapses with the might and sound of the explosives. I reach the extraction point and within minutes the heli arrives. It lands and come out the navy seals on board who are ordered to bring me back home. They do as told. I give them the thumbs-up that I am ok and we are ready to move. The heli roars its engines and we are in the air. After a while with my rifle still in my hand and my hands still twitching for another mission as glorious as this, one of the seals comes upto and asks, “How was it?” and I tell him, “It was as easy as breathing.”</span></div>
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<b>"And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death."</b></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is the Story of The Reaper.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com8Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-28749151619120341682016-10-13T12:45:00.001-07:002016-10-13T12:46:55.829-07:00The Number 32 And Everything In Between ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">“We tried to break him. Oh believe us, we tried. But this mortal was made of steel. And it wasn’t only his skin that we are talking about. His will was unbreakable. His determination to succeed became his fuel. His passion to make his dreams come true was were he found his strength. And as the years turned into decades, we knew that one day this mortal’s time would come and until then he would wait, ‘cause we gods know that the true test of a man is the patience he gains while he sees the world pass by, for even we gods fear The Fury Of The Patient Man.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">-The Book Of Prophecies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">The last blog I wrote was when I was in the states and it was a few days before my birthday. So I guess I should start from where I left off and what better place to start that than my birthday! If you wanna know what I did for my birthday, well, I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain! It was me, my brother rimoh and his friend annalise and the three of us left by 10am in the morning and thanks to anna and her car we reached within 30mins. Rimoh being the sweet heart brother he is got me the platinum flash pass which gave me access to all the rides while cutting the wait in the lines! I couldn't thank him more for that. This was rimoh’s and anna’s 1st time at six flags and by the time they went on their 5th roller coaster, they were gassed out and it was very cute to see them telling me to go to all the other rides without them, like two grand parents letting their grandson go and play. Well, as for me, I went on 10, oh yes, you read it right, 10 roller coasters that day! And these weren’t the child play coasters, I went on the toughest and most challenging ones at the park! And to add to my achievements I only screamed my lungs out on the 1st coaster I went on {X2} and after that I was just blinking away and was all smiles. I realised that day that I am indeed an adrenaline junkie and the ‘rush’ gives me a kick! In the future you never know I would be finally taking that Bungee Jump and Sky dive test after all. But all I can say is that my 32nd birthday was amazing! And I couldn’t have asked for more. I would want to thank all the people who wished me on my birthday but I also want to add that sometimes spending the birthday alone going through crazy roller coasters while your brother sits and recovers {lolz} is truly a very gratifying moment indeed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">After a few days, my mom, brother and sis came to La and we were delighted to see them there. For the 1st few days we took them to all the famous tourist spots in La and then My sis started her acting course at NYFA and my youngest brother joined La Fitness and trained regularly over there. For the next one month Dad and Mom did all the cooking. Me and Mom did all the cleaning and I did all the cleaning {since I have OCD}. It was an amazing experience to do everything on your own and watching all the latest movies at Universal City and of course receiving my packages from the United States Post Office. I also had my own P.O. Box key! But the things which I will always remember would be the Dance Classes at IDA, the gruelling Crossfit sessions at Depot Crossfit and my Comedy Improv classes at UCB. The dance classes were very challenging at first. I mean if you came to one of the classes and would had seen these amazing boys and girls and children, I am telling you that you would be in awe! They were absolutely fantastic and for the first few classes I was in the back of the line ‘cause I knew I had a lot to learn. But as the classes proceeded and I started to catch the Hip-Hop groove, I got my confidence and by week 3, I was one of the top leads in the class. I don’t mean to brag but trust me, when you are at par with one of the finest in the world, it is a proud moment to show off about. There was a teacher there and he was the most popular of all of them and he used to teach the monday class. For many mondays I was lagging behind ‘cause I couldn’t match up to his choreography. But I never gave up and one day, I think it was the 4 week of training, the teacher told me to meet him after class. I got nervous as I thought he would tell me to do some other class ‘cause maybe I wasn’t coming up to his expectations. But then, the magic happened. He came up to me and told me this. “I am so happy to see your progress! You are killing it in class! When I first saw you, I thought you wouldn’t catch up but I am so happy to see you transform!” I was left speechless and I could tell him was Thank You Thank You Thank You Sir! I had finally won his acknowledgement and for me that was a huge victory! And when I went to La, it was my top priority to visit the Ufc Gym in Rosemead. I did that and I got to tell you, it was the mecca of all the gyms! It was huge and state of the art and it was a Mma Fan’s dream! Training there was one of the best moments of my life and even though I wanted to go there everyday, I knew I couldn’t as it was nearly 40mins away from where I was staying and taking a 60 dollars uber ride everyday would had costed me a fortune on travelling alone! So for my luck, there was a Crossfit Box right next to my dance classes and even the timings were appropriate for me to train at both the places everyday! {4pm to 5pm Crossfit. 6pm to 7pm Dance.} The trainers at depot were very nice and kind and as the days passed my muscles and mind strength started to get the hang of it. In the weeks to come, I realised that Crossfit is the future of fitness and I am glad I had joined the revolution. There was a coach there called Marcel and he was my favourite coach and I knew I was his favourite student as well. Yes, I do agree I am a sucker for approval by my teachers and maybe I guess that is what pushes me further. There was this one time when I was snapchatting the box and I told coach {marcel} to say a few words. He did that for me without hesitation. But later did I know from his wife that he is very camera shy but he did for me ‘cause he really liked me. That was a huge compliment for me apart from the fact I reached my Max 1 Rep Pr on my Bench Press, Shoulder Press and Back Squat all ‘cause of his amazing guidance. I will never forget Coach Marcel and the lovely people at Depot Crossfit. Didn’t I mention before how the universe works in mysterious ways? Well, not only did I manage to learn Hip-Hop and do Crossfit 5 days a week but I also got the chance to learn Comedy Improv at UCB! I enrolled myself there when there was only one seat left and the level 1 showcase performance was being held one day before we were coming back to India. Talk about perfect timing! My classes were once a week on wednesdays and every class was a delight ‘cause I had the opportunity to do improv with some of the nicest people I have ever met. Our teacher Tim taught us a lot and I know that I am a more relaxed and confident actor now than I was before. My level 1 and level 2 classes in Mumbai were a blessing for me and this classes gave me the confidence to always be the 1st student to do the exercises even though I knew I was making mistakes. By the end of the 8 weeks I realised that as an actor I still have a long way to go and given a chance I would keep on learning the art of improv to get better and also more funnier. The reason I told you all this is because I had promised you all that I would come back and share my experiences with you and to sum it up all I can say is that I am truly blessed to have been in the City Of Angels and I would love to visit it again very very soon.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But now I am home and even though it took me nearly 2 weeks to get used to the mumbai traffic again, I can now say I am back home and back to the grind in full swing. You see, this is who I am and this is who I will always be. A man on his personal quest to find his greatness. For many these talks are beyond spiritual and even border line boring. But for me it is a part of me and what better way to express them than through my blogs. I have come a long way from my 1st blog entry. For crying out loud I am 32 already! And sometimes I can’t believe myself that I have reached my 30’s. {although people say I look like 27 or something! Lolz!} But I am glad I am getting older ‘cause in this process I am also getting wiser. I know what my priorities are, I know what I like and I don’t like and what I can stand for and the things that still make me weak. I have come to terms with myself and facing and embracing my realities has only made me a much more stronger person. If you go to my Facebook page or my twitter page, you will see fans and haters asking me about my next venture. And the reason I don’t answer them about it is because I am waiting for the right time to come. Over the years I have become a very private person and some things I know I will never share under any circumstances. Now whether I am liked or hated for it is not my concern. This is my choice and I stand by it. I see the world go by in front of me. I see how some are favoured while many still are waiting for their moment to come. And for a very long time, I know I was running away from my own reality ‘cause I was too scared to accept it. But now, I think since a year, I sense a deep calm within me. A calmness I never felt before. A knowing I never sensed before. A belief I never knew I had. And this feeling has freed me in a way. And do you know why I don’t worry? It’s because I have many things to be grateful for. I feel those blessings with immense love and joy within my heart and I see how the world is so beautiful in front of me. I am no longer a figment of my past but the architect of my grand future. I know, I just know with the utmost belief that one day very soon my time will come. And no matter how many right now get their chance to shine in the sun I know I will get that opportunity also and until that day comes I will grind and I will give and I will be patient and I will train and give my heart and soul to my purpose ‘cause when that time will come I will make the most of it. So I do Mma. I do Crossfit and read my novels and take online courses on Greek and Roman Mythology and do my Voice Practice and improve my diction and take more Improv Classes ‘cause only when I will give it my all will I be worthy of the greatness that is coming to me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But I also do other things too. I have other passions also. Passions and feelings which drive me and give me more motivation everyday. Did I tell you that I am competed hooked to american television? Whether it is Supernatural or the latest Designated Survivor, my Tv Schedule is filled throughout the week and I still have over 60 shows to watch! And now thanks to Netflix, Hotstar and very soon Amazing Prime and of course fast-speed internet, streaming has become a lot easier and also a whole lot fun! And speaking of new shows I highly recommend Designated survivor and Lethal weapon. Both are binge worthy shows. In one you see a common man take the responsibility of the leader of the free world and in the other you see the friendship of two people who are poles apart! And besides television this is now gaming season which means many great games are on the horizon with Gears Of War and Call Of Duty to name a few. But the game which I am waiting for with awaited breath is Sniper Ghost Warrior 3! Can you imagine being a special forces navy seal sniper deep in the heart of enemy territory where you are all alone and where you have to stock your target {or prey} for days, do proper recon and then under the cover of mother nature give that bastard that bullet with his name written on it! It is like a dream come true and very soon I will have the opportunity to play that game! So you see, there are many things in life a person can be happy and excited and grateful about. All we have to do is open our hearts and not just our eyes to the beauty of life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I write these blogs because I like expressing. Well, I like expressing things which I can with all of you. There are still parts of my life which are unknown to the world and I would like to keep it that way. There should always be some mystery left you see. But the reason this blog entry was a long one was because I wanted it that way. If you remember there was a time when I had a new entry every week but now they are only once in every 2 months and even though I agree that is a long gap between entries I feel this has been my own evolution in a way. To only say things when it is the most important to do so. But just because I don’t write that much doesn’t mean I don’t feel. In fact I feel more deeply now. I feel my mind opening to knowledge when I see the lectures on the origins of the myths of the greeks and romans. I feel a rush of excitement when I annihilate demons on mars in the game Doom. I feel like laughing my ass off whenever I see an episode of South Park and I feel this dark joy whenever I read a chapter in American Psycho. Yes, I do feel but I guess with age, comes evolution. Evolution I am accepting with open arms and with each passing day I become more calmer and I observe more and life becomes more clearer. I know how to edit people who don’t support my growth and to smile when needed. I know when to be in charge and behave as the eldest in the family and also be alone at times when I need to think. I hope that whatever journey you are going through, you go through it with an open heart. Learn to forgive. Become wiser. Embrace the hurt that comes your way and always and I mean always have the faith in the universe and believe that you are taken care off. :-)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your No.1 Fan,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com10Ooty, Tamil Nadu, India11.4064138 76.693243811.3441548 76.6125628 11.468672799999998 76.7739248tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-22198840802764462522016-07-21T02:04:00.001-07:002016-07-21T02:05:56.871-07:0013 Years In The Making ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><b><i>“We have chosen millions to represent us. And through trial and error the chosen have done their duties. But as creators of time and space and everything in between we always looked and longed for an individual who would, with free will become the man we wanted him to be. And through ions and ions we waited but none could show us the true mantle of the lone wolf. But then, a miracle happened. And then through that miracle we finally found our soldier. Our warrior who with free will would do the ultimate sacrifice and in that process become the legend who we always knew he would become.”</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;"><b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Prick. Jerk. Selfish. Asshole. These are the few words that would describe me if you met me 13 years ago here in Los Angeles. I had come here for my 4-weeks intensive acting workshop at the new york film academy back then and at that point of time the only thing I did was think about myself and what made me happy. I didn’t care what my parents thought or how much pain I caused them or to my family. Trust me, you would had hated me back then as well. And as the years passed and the more life started to unfold in front of me, the guilt of being that prick engulfed me like a storm! I couldn’t accept the fact that I had become a mean self-centred arrogant asshole and the only way I could ever get my redemption was to come back here and make things right. Well, as they say, “The Universe will unfold all it’s wonders to you when you are ready.” And now, 13 years later I am finally here at La La Land and I can proudly say that I am now on the road to my redemption.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><i>"Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><i>-Pele</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Like the billions around the world, I am also amazed by America. I am attracted towards her culture, her movies and her way of life. And for many years now I had dreamed to come back here. Even my siblings wished and longed for it. But because of busy schedules and prior commitments, coming here was always delayed. But 2016 was finally the year when we were meant to come back to Los Angeles. Right now I am here with my dad and bro and in August my sister, my mom and my brother will be joining us as well. Back in 2003, I was turning 19 so the rest of siblings were way younger to me which meant that we used to go only to the movies and to theme parks. Now, in the age of apps and maps, we have become grown ups and we four rather help our cute old-school parents to find places to go and see and visit and to dine. Before I go any further I must say that we are here only because of our parents. Mom has always been the rock and the silent guardian of the family who has kept us together and dad through his sacrifice and hard work is the reason we are here. I am truly blessed to have them as parents and also truly blessed to have such lovely siblings. Speaking of siblings, my younger brother Rimoh still feels surreal to be here! He sometimes comes up to me and says, “Bhai I can’t imagine I am here in La!”. And seeing his face filled with joy truly warms my heart. Touch wood he is having the time of his life! From grading 10 on 10 on his Screen Writing course at the NYFA, to going out and living the life true La style! He is destined to live and make it big here and I know that one day very soon, that dream of his will come true. And I can’t wait for the other two to arrive. I know it will be fun when I will see my sister go for the same 4 weeks intensive acting workshop which I did and to have my youngest bro Nama with me to watch all the latest films. All great things are truly worth the wait.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Lionel Messi</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">But this blog isn’t about all the fun we will have here as a family. This blog is about the opportunity that has given to me to find my redemption. A redemption 13 years in the making. Before coming here I had it all figured out. I had told myself that I will go to La and be like a normal person. I told myself that I will make new friends, meet new people and also go out to clubs and famous restaurants. But now I realise those plans were of a Mimoh long dead. I am not that guy anymore. That Mimoh died a very long time ago. Only remnants are left, which try to surface from time to time. But in the battle between the man who depended on others for his emotions and the lone wolf that I have become now, the lone wolf is winning and whopping that old mimoh’s ass! And I love being the lone wolf. As I said before many a times, “You get used to anything if you stay around it for a while.” So now, I am way more happier and comfortable being alone than being surrounded by people. Al though I am a devotee of The Punisher there is this one line from The Dark Knight Rises I want to share with you and no, it isn’t of Bane but of Catwoman and she says, “What can I say, I am adaptable.” And I see myself as an adaptable creature as well. The moment I settle in to the place that I am staying, I make it my home and start functioning myself around my given environment. Whether it is the roads or the food or even the places where I will be training, I figure everything out as soon as I can and then I make a plan of action and go about it. And now, it has been 2 weeks since I have come here and I can tell you I am very happy about how my schedule is like. I know I should be enjoying and chilling with these two months that I am here but what can I say, Training is what I do best and “The Wicked Never Rest.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don't let anyone limit your dreams."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Donovan Bailey</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">I am right now in los angeles! I said that again ‘cause I want that to sink in. I mean this is La La Land! The land of Hollywood and the galore and the music and streets filled with tourist and movie bill boards everywhere with amazing amusement parks and men who look like greek gods and women who aren't less than angels! And I really mean that. the very 1st morning here I had gone to ihop for their lovely black coffee and the waiter who came to give me the coffee was truly drop dead gorgeous! If my guess was right, I bet he was also a model or an inspiring actor. And the women … well … wow! I mean every other girl here is stunning! Whether it is the crossfit trainers or the outstanding dancers at IDA, I must say, Los Angeles is truly the City Of Angels! You see people from all across america trying their luck in the movies and sometimes you even get to see people from different countries who have settled here. It is truly a sight to behold and I shit you not, I do go “Wow!” every other day over here. So ya, I must be kidding myself to be the lone wolf right now, won’t I? But you see, that is what it is. No matter how beautiful these people are and no matter how tempting it is to step into those “Normal” shoes, I can never be that guy. And the truth is, I was never meant to be.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Steve Prefontaine</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">People don’t understand. The truth is that they have tried but in the end, they don’t really get it. I have been called many names and I have been misjudged and also hated by many for the way I am. Someone once told me that I deserve to be alone. That a person like me should never have friends and should never be a part of any group. Al though back then I took it as a huge offence, today when I put the pieces together I realise that I am intact that guy! I mean how can anyone be friends with a guy who spends his entire energy towards his responsibilities? I wake up in the morning, make coffee for myself and tea for dad and rimoh. Then go for a run. Then do the laundry, then give dad his medicines then help him cook lunch, serve him luch, eat lunch and then clean the dishes. After that clear the trash, change, go for Crossfit and then my Hip-Hop Classes, come back home, heat up dinner, give it to Dad and rimoh, then eat, then clean and then go to sleep. That is my everyday schedule here in Los Angeles and from today, I have also started my Improv 101 Class at the UCB every wednesday. I only get saturday and sunday afternoons and evenings free which I use to go and watch the latest movies in Imax. So ya, with this routine and commitments I don’t think anyone can bare with me. And I don’t even blame them. I mean, this is who I am. This is me telling the universe that I will make things right. That I will make amends with the chance given to me and through this process finally find my redemption which I was waiting for 13 years. I want to be a good son to dad. I want to be a good brother to rimoh. I don’t want mom to worry about us. I want to make sure that I am there for everyone, even beyond my own happiness and wants ‘cause deep down I know that only through this commitment and sacrifice can I finally become the man I was born to be.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-James M. Barrie</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">You must have seen on The Discovery Channel that when we are about to be submerged under water we grasp in the most amount of air. And when a boxer is fighting the 12th round of the fight and has no energy he gives his one last punch with all his effort and might. That very same way those remnants of the old mimoh consume me sometimes and I suddenly feel this feeling of loneliness. I feel overwhelmed and choked up and vulnerable. I get this deep sense of longing and also a feeling of emptiness within me. I feel the need to vent out and open up and talk to someone and this voice inside of me seeks self-pity and asks, “Why doesn’t anyone ever ask me how I am?”. But if you have seen the movie Alexander, when Alexander is in stress of being King after his Father Phillip is murdered, his mother slaps his twice and screams at him and tells him, “You are King now! Start acting like one!” And just like that, from that feeling of being hollow and needy, I shake it off, take a deep breath, close my eyes and remind myself of my goals and what it is that I truly want to achieve. And what I want is Greatness and I won’t ever settle for anything less, no matter how difficult it gets. Greatness requires sacrifice and all men who become kings know that they have take that walk alone. That at the top, there shall be no one there for them. It will only be the kings and their shadows. But they also know that the climb, the sacrifice, the dedication is worth every bit of it. My dad in fact asked me today, “Have you made any new friends? Why don’t you stay back after class and try to connect with new people?” And I told him, “Dad, I am a very friendly guy, trust me, but for someone I don’t know why people don’t want to make friends with me. And truth be told, I don’t even try to give any signals. I put my headphones on, I mind my own business, greet everyone with a bright smile, give me 100% in my classes and then silently I come back home. I don’t even know how to make friends anymore.” And since the last 2 weeks I have been watching all the movies by myself and trust me I am having a gala time doing so. The old Mimoh thinks he still has a chance to take over me but I know I am way stronger now and there is no way in heaven, hell or earth that that Mimoh is ever coming back.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"You have to execute. You have to sacrifice your body. "</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Pedro Martinez</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">So why did I tell you all this? To have your pity? No. To make you like me? No. I told you this ‘cause this is who I am. And this will one day be my story. I shit you not, all that I imagined me doing a few years ago, is what I am doing now. Whether it is training alone at the Ufc gym or walking alone at the Hollywood Walk Of Fame or even staying home alone when dad and rimoh are out, I am doing all those things exactly how I imagined. Truly, the universe gives us what we manifest and what we believe in. No matter what people think of The Secret or the Power of the Universe, I really believe in it. And I know through my commitment, dedication, sacrifice and focus I will one day very soon earn my greatness. Today, when I hear my Improv Batchmate tell me that I am ‘Pretty Good At It’ or when I hear my Dance Teachers tell me to stand in front of the Class and to come for all their classes and hear the other students and managers tell me That I’m Good and see Trainers at Crossfit take my video while Back Squatting, I am reassured by the universe that I am on the right track. I know it isn’t easy. There will be times when you feel like quitting. When you will feel like giving in. But I promise you, if you stay the path, you will be rewarded. Whether it is the countless hours of studying for your board exams, or that one girl you wanted to ask out for prom or that one Audition which you knew would give you that big break, stay at it. Believe in yourself, believe in the power of your dreams and know in your heart that your sacrifices won’t go in vain. Hard work is always rewarded. Discipline to your cause is always appreciated. And patience is always returned with all your dreams coming true. You will stumble and fall, you will loose hope, you will also maybe loose your way. But believe and know deep down that you were meant for greatness and that no emotion, no feeling and no urge can be more powerful than the desire to succeed. So go forth your dreams and make them come true. It took me 13 years to come back here, at the same Oakwood Apartments, at the same ‘M’ building and at the same city where it all began. Now, after all these years I am on my way to greatness. And I know that I will be rewarded for my sacrifices. It’s because I believe. I just hope you believe also.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice. "</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Simon Sinek</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty. And this is My Story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com5Los Angeles, CA, USA34.0522342 -118.243684933.2099567 -119.5345784 34.8945117 -116.95279140000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-16411084307984501862016-07-05T12:00:00.001-07:002016-07-05T12:03:10.123-07:00The Road Ahead ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><i><b>“And so this mortal went ahead in his journey. A quest to find himself in the hidden parts of his very soul. And when he travelled across the seven oceans and the highest peaks, he realised that he wasn’t destined to be normal but to be The One. Not only because he had the will and might of the gods but because he had the power of belief.”</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;"><i><b>-The Book Of Prophecies.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">In a few hours I will be on my way to the airport. I am going for two and half months to the land of the free and the home of the brave. After 13 years I will finally be going back to Los Angeles. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am. But beyond the excitement and the rush of going back there I feel this deep sense of responsibility. Like I have gotten a chance by the mighty universe to get even more better. In these past few months I have done courses in Comedy Improv, Salsa, Hip Hop and gotten the taste of Crossfit. I promised myself that I will emerge myself in my preparation for the great opportunity that very soon is going to come my way. But since it was decided a couple months ago that I was going to the United States I decided that all the training should be put on hold and all the energy and focus should be directed towards Los Angeles. And you know me, I find the true, spiritual meaning in everything that happens to me and lately I have started seeing the positive in every situation and trust me, even though the situation may not change, you surely feel a whole lot better when you see what you can be grateful for even in the midst of normality. Trust me readers, all that happens, happens only for the good and when you have the power of belief, anything is possible.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Drake</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">Do you remember The Dark Knight Rises? Do you remember Bane’s character in it? We all know that he was a Merc for hire but do you remember when Alfred is giving Bane’s introduction to Bruce Wayne? Do you remember what does he say? He says, “Master Wayne, what I see isn’t just a man on a mission, what I see is the Power Of Belief.” Many people have asked me, “What is it that you want to do with your life?” And I simply tell them, I want to be a part of the movies now and forever. And then they ask, “Then why aren’t you doing what others are?” And I reply, I can and without your knowledge I actually do all those things but what I also do, is prepare and keep my focus and make sure that I learn and train and use all my energy on making myself better because I know that one day my time will come and when it does come I will be ready. And this answer isn’t a sense of arrogance but it is my Power Of Belief. A belief so strong that it will one day change the world. A belief with such will and might that one day I will shine as bright as the sun. A belief with such purity and focus that one day I will no longer be in the sidelines but in the spotlight.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>"Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">You all know that I went to Phuket last year, twice. And both those times and in fact, also at every new year’s eve I have this custom I follow. I play a few stages on either Medal Of Honour or Ghost Recon Future Soldier and I hear the song Stupify from the rock band Disturbed. Even tonight, I have followed the very same custom. It is like I am reminding myself who I truly am and what responsibilities lay in front of me and what all I need to do in the 2 1/2 months that are now in front of me. It is me showing myself that behind the iron clad skin, my soul will always be on a quest to learn and explore more. That deep down, I will always be grateful to the universe and to my parents and to my family and to my life itself for making me the man that I am today. That every thing that has happened in my life has brought me to this new exciting juncture of my life where I will only evolve. So before I leave, I will put my headphones on and Stupify will be heard by the nerves of my brain for the trillionth time and everything in the universe will look beautiful and the siren of the gods will be heard.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">So what is in stored for me in the city of angels? Well, first it is the UFC 200 expo happening in las vegas which I really really wanna go for ‘cause I will get the opportunity to see and meet the amazing ufc fighters and also take pictures with them! it will truly be a dream come true for me! And it is on the 8th so I can tell the jet lag to take a hike ‘cause I will be going to vegas! And then it is the grand UFC Gyms which are located all over LA for me to choose from and be a part of. I have waited nearly 6 years to train in a UFC Gym and very soon that dream of mine will come true! Then it is the endless places and spots where comedy improv and stand-up comedy workshops are taking place for me to choose from. Since I have done till Level 2 here it would be great to see what level 3 has in stored for me over there. I also goggled Parkour and Crossfit gyms which I can join and I will also be enrolling myself at the IDA Hollywood Centre. The International Dance Academy in Hollywood. It is one of the most renowned and popular and recognised dance centres in Los Angeles and when you see their students perform their hip-hop moves on youtube you will agree with me that it will truly be an honour to be a part of their centre. And of course when I will be done with kicking a 1,000 kicks at the UFC gym and sweating it at and learning new dance moves at IDA and trying to come up with spontaneous jokes at the comedy stand-up studio, I will be touring the Universal City Walk, watching all the latest films, and taking a gazillion pics and keep snap chatting as much as I can. So it looks like I have a very busy 2.1/2 months in front of me. And even though it took 13 years for me to go back, I can tell you right now, every moment of that wait was worth it.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>"Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home."</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>-Matsuo Basho</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">So once again I embark on a new chapter of my life. I embark on a task to make myself better and make my parents proud and prove to myself without a shadow of a doubt that I have the will and determination to go beyond the call of duty. To be the best version of myself and to push harder when I can’t anymore. I thank you all for being my readers. I thank my family for this opportunity and I thank the universe for giving this feeling of bliss. I can’t promise if I will blog from there but if I do I will share all my bliss and joy with you as well. You see, the universe is a friendly place and I am a firm believer in the power of it. I know I am connected to it. And I know it is with me every step of the way. You can harness it’s power also. You can also find your joy and bliss. Never doubt it. Never give in to the negativity that you feel may cloud over you sometimes. Find the greater good. Seek the happiness and it will cone to you. Rumi said a very wonderful thing once. He said, “What You Seek Is Also Seeking You.” Ask yourself the question. Go on that quest and your joy will come to you. So before I go all I can say is that I have beautiful road ahead of me, which is filled with excitement and joy and learning and bliss. And everyday I will the grateful for the blessings the universe showers over me. I hope you do that also.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Story.</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">With All My Might,</span></div>
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<span style="font-kerning: none;">Your No.1 Fan,</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-font-kerning: none;">Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-24907329027647903382016-05-18T07:13:00.000-07:002016-05-18T07:15:18.163-07:00Forging A Destiny Through Acts Of Randomness ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"<b><i>And so the trials and tribulations will begin for this mortal. The mortal we chose out of the many. A boy who would transform into a man through iron and steel. And we will make him the warrior that he is destined to become. But what we never thought, what we never expected or ever saw coming was that this warrior had a power of his own. He had the will to challenge his own mortality. He had the courage to look fate right in the eye and say, "I bow down to none."</i></b><br />
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<b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b><br />
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The 1st day when you enter a Boxing or Mma class, you are excited as a little boy with candy. You want to hit all the bags as hard you can and you want to show your master that you know everything already. You take up all the opponents he throws at you and eventually 'cause of your foolishness you get your ass handed to you. Then, when you are down at the mat, beaten, you realise you have a long road of training ahead of you to become the fighter that you dream to be. And then, as the days go by you become more focused and calmer and you become selective. In other words, you evolve and become better. The same thing goes with me and my blogs I guess. When I started writing these blogs, they used to be once a week almost for 2 years or so. Of course, I'm not saying that they all were bad but now, when I go back and view them, well, let's just say they weren't presented that well. But now, I know I am selective about my topics. I know that whenever I open my laptop and start writing, it has to have some deeper meaning to me. So ya, writing less doesn't affect me anymore. But writing with purpose and depth truly does.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Steve Jobs</i></span><br />
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Today I am at home resting and recovering from a fever which kicked in yesterday. I felt a terrible pain on the left side of my body and I thought it was just soreness from the crossfit session I did on monday. But when my kicks weren't going high enough and when my stamina was depleting faster than the air from a torn ballon, I realised that a fever was creeping up on me. The doctor told me today either it is a throat infection which is the devil or over-training. Al though I know the throat infection has done this, I am not taking any chances with pushing myself unnecessarily towards an over-training state. And yes, the rest has really helped. I can already feel the cells in my body recovering and within a day or two I will be back on track. And by back on track I mean listening to my body more and doing 'Smart' training instead of 'Balls-Out' training. And speaking of training I recommend everyone to try Crossfit! It is absolutely revolutionary! To be honest, when I was in Phuket, I was completely against the Crossfit Training 'cause I didn't know how it would help me achieve my goals. But since the last 45 days in the Crossfit Training world I can tell you it is the best thing that fitness and science has to offer today. There are of course many gyms which provide crossfit training and also like a 1,000 websites which do the same too. If you are looking for a solution to achieve your fitness goals by just being in the gym for only 60mins, well, then crossfit is for you!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-William Shakespeare</i></span><br />
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Staying at home does have it's advantages as well. I get to spend more time with the pets. I get to catch up on all my favourite tv shows. I get to read all my comics through the marvel comics app. And I get to sit alone and count my blessings and see how many things there are there for me to be grateful about and look up at the Universe and say, "Thank You". I hope you do that also. You know the feeling-immense-gratitude-part. At first, it may feel all superficial and funny and weird but as your progress into this habit in finding the good in everything, you will eventually, by default do that and later on, even in your weirdest and saddest of moods, you will see the light in the darkness and automatically feel great about everything. As I had told in my last blog that I promised myself that I would never sit idle again and I am proud to say that now 'Staying Active' has become my life's mantra. And for the record, staying active doesn't mean that you have to run marathons or climb mountains or stay out throughout the day. No. Staying active means that you emerge yourself in activities which are productive for you. And those activities can literally mean anything. It can be bungee jumping 5 times in a day or writing your 1st book or just being with yourself and being content with what the universe has offered to you.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Denis Waitley</i></span><br />
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I just finished reading my 7th book of the year. It was called 'Intensity' and yes, as the name goes, it was truly intense! It was by far one of the best thrillers I have ever read and every page kept me at the edge of my seat! I still have 5 more books to go in order for me to finish my Goodreads Reading Challenge. And my next read will be 'The Blood Defence.' It is a courtroom drama/thriller and the author is the famous lawyer who fought the O.J. Simpson case. I am very much excited to read it! Ooohhh, I love thrillers! Do any of you read? If you do, then trust me, you have a best friend right there in those books. Books teleport you to a world where you are filled with these amazing characters that you bring to life and as the stories go ahead, these characters become alive in your head and in a way become a part of you. Whenever I am engrossed in a book, I loose track of time and that is how deeply submerged I get in my book-reading world. I still can't believe that I am the same boy who took 2 months to finish Jurassic Park when I started reading it in school. I never knew that reading novels would eventually become such an important part of my life.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Tony Robbins</i></span><br />
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You all must know by now that I am a gadget freak and I get excited about new electronics and apps and updates and how I can connect one device to another and make the machine into a bad-ass transformer look-a-like. Well, thanks to the suggestion of Anna {his name is Ganesh} I recently installed the Office's Surround system at the flat and connected all the devices to it. And with Netflix now in India I connected my account with the apple tv and whenever I am there I am either watching Sherlock or watching funny 'epic fail' videos on youtube. And speaking of youtube, I always go into 'freeze mode' when I see 'Sniper' in the 'suggestions for you' section. Imagine blinking your eyes, drinking a glass of water and cleaning the table from the dust the air poured in and then suddenly when your eyes see the word 'Sniper' you stop doing everything and become transfixed to that word. I automatically get transported into this fantasy realm where I am a special ops sniper sent on the most deadliest mission in order to save the world. How do I explain this to you? How do I make you feel how I feel when I see myself inserting those .50 cal bullets into the cartridge. With the rain making it's presence felt on the earth outside my base camp. With thunder and lightning proving mother nature's point that you don't screw with her. How can I show you how serene it feels to be all alone in the heart of the jungle amongst those beautiful animals the god created? How do I show you the beautiful terrains and landscapes that I crawl and walk through to get the perfect aim for the terrorist I am assigned to send straight to hell with a bullet with his name written on it? How do I begin to express my happiness when I know I went through Sniper training and I was pushed by my drill sergeants to become the most lethal warrior in the history of the world? How can I show you the tears of joy in my eyes when I finally see that scumbag through the scope of my rifle and just before I squeeze the trigger I look up at the heavens and say a prayer and thank the powers that be for making me this lone wolf who went through hell and back, who survived and embraced the horror of pain and who now is doing an act of valour by ending the life of a monster who only deserves punishment? I guess I won't ever be able to make you understand what I see and feel 'cause maybe sometimes the best experiences are felt when you feel them yourself.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Ralph Marston</i></span><br />
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So why the topic such as "Forging a destiny through acts of randomness"? And why would I write whatever popped up in my head without a certain 'order'? Well, that was the idea to begin with, wasn't it? More than making a point to all of you, my readers, I wanted to make a point to myself. And this 'making point' intervention came only a few days ago when I was reading an article on Tarot Reading and Astrology and Numerology. Al though I respect the people who practice it and also the people who believe in it, I personally don't anymore. I am a man of science and what all my courses in Astronomy and Astro-Biology have taught me is that whatever is backed up by years and years of data is the hard proven fact and nothing can challenge that. And to make my belief in science and Free-Will more gratifying was when I saw the last episode of DC's Legends Of Tomorrow where it was mentioned that we all are the Masters Of Our Own Fate and nobody or no entity has the right or power over us. Even my favourite actor Jake Jyllenhal believes in the power of the universe and sees the Signs and Signals it lays in front of us. Of course, I am just a mortal who is giving his own point of view and I know I will be challenged for this but what I am trying to say is that there is a major difference in walking the path laid in front of you and letting someone else decide what path you need to walk on. A part of me does believe and is also convinced that I am meant for things that I can't even believe to imagine myself. But a part of me also believes that I can't let a prediction or a card or a number dictate my actions towards my future. Whatever I am today, whether it is good or bad or simply screwed up, I am 'cause of my own choices and actions. And I made those choices 'cause something deep within me told me to do so. And since the day I was born, I have always done the things which have brought me a certain degree of joy and happiness and a certain amount of contentment. I have trained in the heat and also embraced pain in the cold. I have bled and cried and have gone to hell and back, all with my own will. Today, there is this uncontrollable power in me. A quest to learn more. A positivity which can't be broken by any negative encounters I face. Today I have the power of belief and I am convinced 100% that my time to shine in the sun will come. And when it does I will be ready for it. So now, writing this blog and being in this moment, I have come to learn that there are only two things you should depend upon. One, is the Trust in the Mighty Universe. And Two, the belief in your own capabilities. So that is why I walk in the path laid in front of me. I don't crib about the things that I thought we were meant to be mine or which slipped through my fingers. I don't complain about the things I don't have and which others get without putting in the effort. I don't mind that I have to wait in line while others get the fast pass. I do these things today because I know there is a plan for me and not because I believe that some stone or some colour or some number is going to change my destiny or fate.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Harry S Truman</i></span><br />
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So, my dear readers I urge you to believe in yourselves. Believe that you and the universe are always tuned in together and trust your own instincts and trust what the universe gives you and I promise you when you truly accept these things, you will find peace and when you find peace, you will find joy and when you will find joy, you will eventually find your purest form of being and that being which is inside of you will thank you for it. Don't care what society thinks of you. Don't care how much people will talk behind your back or will bitch about you. It is their job and they will continue to do so no matter how great you will become one day. You only have one job to do and that is to get up, dress up and show up every single day until your moment comes. We all come with our destinies and our own fates. We all come with making this world a better place to live in so become that person. Don't end up being the person people want you to be. Be the individual people follow rather than the person who follows the crowd. It takes courage to be abnormal. To be left out of the crowd and walk in the wilderness alone. But in the end it is courage that truly counts. I know I have made choices which are not liked by many. And I know many of my choices have also pushed people away. But whatever the cost is I am willing to bat on it. I am willing to do what my gut tells me too. And no matter how tough it gets I am never going to stop. And I hope neither do you.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i>-Jean de La Fontaine</i></span><br />
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I Am The Master Of Fate. The question is, are you?<br />
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With All My Might,<br />
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Your No.1 Fan,<br />
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.<br />
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com4Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-2903900132262656602016-03-10T20:51:00.001-08:002016-03-10T20:52:43.566-08:00The Wicked Never Rest ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"<b><i>And so many will come and go. We will see men rise and fall. We will be there to see the end and the new beginnings. But one mortal amongst the billions of the billions will do the unthinkable. He will never stop. No matter the pain and the agony and the struggle this mortal will never stop. And thus by doing this he will eventually become one of us."</i></b><br />
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<b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b><br />
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It has been a very long time since my last blog entry. I know. I should had written before and more frequently. But the very objective of this blog entry is to tell you why I haven't been in touch with my blogging skills as of late. As you know I got back from my 2nd tour of Phuket and Tiger Muay Thai Camp in december. Once I got back I was catching up with the responsibilities and work which was waiting for me here. Then in january I decided that I would make up a list of things to do in the year 2016. Of course I can't share much about that list but the planning and organising my plan of action took the entire month of january. And then in February me and the family were in Ooty for the progress of our Hotel The Monarch and that is how february went by. But now, in the month of March I can say I am at full speed ahead with the things I wanted to achieve in 2016. Before I go into the details I want to say that I have realised and absorbed through my own actions that the more you keep yourself busy and engrossed in the productivity of yourself, there won't ever be a moment where you will feel that you are bored or that you have nothing to do. The Devil was smart when he said, "The Wicked Never Rest". I guess now I know what that means.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"All things truly wicked start from innocence."</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Ernest Hemingway</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">You all know that I have been practicing Mma {Mixed Martial Arts} since the end of 2010. This year end it would be 6 years for me to be associated with the sport. Al though I do confess that in the middle I did go of it for a while but when I did return to it's form of training I knew I would never stop learning and growing. And that is why I went to Phuket twice to learn a more advanced level of Mma. When I came back, I was like, "Will I be able to find the same kind of intensity here with the same discipline and techniques?" To be honest I goggled and tried my hands everywhere. While some places replied to me in weird english and some places did offer some martial arts classes, none were able to satisfy my hunger of learning hardcore Mma even though you would go to 'Martial Arts' classes but end up knowing more than the instructors. I thought I had hit a wall when I finally decided that I would travel all the way to bandra at least 2 days a week to XFF {Extreme Fight Federation}, where I had trained earlier. But to my surprise when I spoke to Shafiq Bhaijaan, the owner of Xff, he informed me that they have opened a new class here in andheri. I surely was thrilled to visit this new class but also a little spectacle of how large the place would and whether they would have the right flooring and mats and so on. But to my surprise the class was state-of-the-art and the training was more extreme than what I learnt in phuket! The Xff team has a strict no-bullshit philosophy and they make sure to kick your ass if you don't understand that on day one. Since the day I joined Xff, I make sure to train 5 days a week {Mon-Fri} and give it my best in every class. Of course after wednesday the body screams a 1,000 screams to take rest and recover but skipping even one class will make me miss a special jut-jitsu move practiced that day and when I do show up for class, I make sure to keep my mouth shut because at the end of class during our conditioning round I automatically end up screaming in pain as the instructors hit 30 hard punches in the stomach and make 10-15 shin contact kicks for us students to improve our tolerance to pain. Don't believe me? Well, come for a class and you will see what I am talking about. But now all I can say is that Mma is now not a 2-days-in-a-week activity for me but a 5 days brutal obstacle course which has become a very important part of my life. Mma everyday teaches me to be more patient and calm and humble and it shows the way to reach the zone of zen 'cause fighters always look for a fight but warriors embrace the fight and make it a part of their own soul.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked."</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Saint Augustine</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I remember it was in the month of july when I finally found The World Dance Centre and thought of taking a trial class to see how it was. Of course since I was the newbie that day I wasn't able to catch up to any of the steps. I remember I couldn't even do the warm-up properly! But what glued me to TWDC was the work ethic. All the instructors were hard-core professionals and they took care of all their students and made sure we gave our best in the class. Once the class was over I had decided that this would be the place where I would learn the new forms of Dance including Urban Funk, Jazz and Hip-Hop. Of course I wasn't regular in the beginning. But slowly slowly as I got the hang of it I started loving the classes more and more and the more I saw myself catching and matching up to the steps and picking up the steps at a higher rate I felt more motivated to learn and increase my rank to the advance level of the class. I must admit there are many dancers in class who are far better than me but it feels really good to be recognised by all the other students and also by the instructors as one of the boys who puts his best foot forward thrice a week. Our head coach/instructor Dev Sir gives a new choreography once every 2 weeks and I make sure I give my 100% to class even though it is only a couple of hours after my Mma class. I remember dancing alone in the Monarch Ooty Discotheque when I was a kid. Back then I never knew I would join such a great establishment and test my own limits in dance and learn some great forms and concentrate in the execution of the steps rather than just following the 1,2,3 and 4 of the beats.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"If evil is inevitable, how are the wicked accountable? Nay, why do we call men wicked at all? Evil is inevitable, but is also remediable."</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Horace Mann</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">The 1st thing we do when we make a fitness plan is to Run. Yup. The most basic and yet one of the most affective forms of exercise. Today, thanks to treadmills we can have the opportunity to run at home itself and cover long distances by running at the same place. But thanks to technology and the developments of Apps I came across Nike+ a unique app made only for runner and for fitness freaks who like to challenge themselves by covering vast and long distances, outdoors or indoors. I should thank my Chaddi Buddy Saideep Israni for introducing me to the app. Since the time I have downloaded it, I use it every time I go for a run. I run more on the treadmill at home and even though that may sound soothing, I make it tough by wearing the Elevation Mask and by seeing the stats and miles covered by others on the Nike+ app. {My main focus is always Saideep as he really runs a lot!} So by activating the app and marking my progress I see what is my ranking on the Board and this in return makes me more motivated to run a lot more than when I previously use too. Almost 2-3 years ago my max limit use to be 4-5kms. But now I don't run less than 7-8kms per session. It takes me 60-65mins to complete that distance {8kms} but even though it is a tough ordeal, reaching your target kilometre is a feeling of exhilaration and joyous victory. So I run as many days as I can but whenever I do I make sure it is challenging me.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"None of us feels the true love of god till we realise how wicked we are. But you can't teach people that - they have to learn by experience."</b></i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Dorothy L. Sayers</b></i></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I have always challenged myself. And a guy like me needs a fight, needs a purpose and a goal to feel alive and that is why till today and maybe for the rest of my life I will always wander and be on a quest to find the next thing to achieve and to master. When I came across Mma all those years ago I knew then that it would be the next big challenge in my life and even though today it is one of the toughest arts to master I know I have got the hang of it and will only get better at it over time. But nothing and I mean nothing prepared me for Parkour. I was one day heading for my dance class when I noticed a Studio opened at the ground floor of my building. It stated that it has Dance Fitness, Aerobics and Parkour. At first, I didn't pay much attention to it 'cause I thought it must be one of those small rooms converted into a studio and that there won't be sufficient space to do any activity properly. But just a couple of weeks ago, I thought, "What the hell! Let's go check it out anyways. What do I have to loose?". I went in, saw the place, liked it very much and I also managed to see the Parkour class going on. The sight of seeing these young boys flipping in the air and balancing their landing with the utmost precision really intrigued me and I told the owner that I would like to come for a Private Trial Class. So this tuesday I finally went for my very 1st Parkour Class. At first, we did some full body stretching and a couple of jumps and light drills to warm the body up. And once we were done with that, the head coach Roshan {His name actually isn't Roshan but I call him </span></span><span style="font-size: 14px;">that} brought out all the obstacles in which I had to perform. What happened after that? Well, let's just say I was pushed like I was never pushed before for the next 60mins. I was jumping over obstacles, learning techniques I never thought I would and jumping of barricades and taking high jumps and hanging in bars and rotating myself in the air. And after peeling of the skin in my hands and drenching with sweat like I was caught in the rains of mumbai, I was satisfied and sure that Parkour had officially become a very important of my fitness and my life. I always wanted to conquer my fear of heights and falling on my ass and now I am certain that Parkour is the way I will finally achieve that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"O Lord, deliver me from the man of excellent intention and impure heart: for the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked."</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-T. S. Eliot</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Fitness isn't the only thing that is keeping me busy. I had mentioned earlier that because of technology and apps people have found great tools and ways in which they can be motivated and also learn many new things. And one such app is the Goodreads app. It is an app for people who read books and this app helps you find the books you like to read and also share your thoughts with the goodreads </span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">community. Last year I had signed up for the goodreads reading challenge in which I had to decided how many books I will read in a year. Last year I had decided that I would read 12 books {One book per month}. Unfortunately I didn't reach my target. I had completed 9 books by the end of last year so this year I took it to myself that come what may, I will complete my reading challenge {12 books yet again} and I am happy to inform you that in the first 3 months of 2016 I have completed 5 books already! I have read 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi, Code Name Johnny Walker, The Crossing, Black Eyed Susans and Born To Fight. All of the mentioned were engrossing books in their own right and I truly enjoyed reading every page in them. I make sure to read one Fiction book and then one Non-Fiction book in that order 'cause I believe I get to steer my imagination with the Fictional Thrillers and I gain knowledge with the Ever-So-Real Non-Fictional true stories. Books now have become a very important part of my daily schedule and I take a lot of interest and thought as to which would be my next read. Speaking of my next read, I have decided that I would be reading this book titled 'Intensity'. It has a great rating on the site and readers have called it one of the most engrossing thrillers of all time! So I guess 2016 would be the year in which I finish my 1st ever goodreads challenge. And speaking of challenges there is something I really wanted to share with you. A few weeks ago, I had decided that I would write up my next blog entry just as I am doing right now and I had started doing that with the utmost zeal and concentration. I had thought about the points and the breakdowns and how the blog will look when I had finished writing it. But as I started writing it, I realised that I am not writing a blog but intact a Story! I was like, "Mimoh, this isn't a Blog anywhere and neither is this a short story you can upload. This is an attempt to actually write a novel!" And now, whenever I get time, I open up my laptop and write up a new chapter in it and go back to the old chapters to see if they need any corrections or alterations. I don't know if I will ever share the story with the world or not but what I do know is that I am going to finish writing it and by the time it is done, I would had finished writing my very 1st novel, a thought which had never occurred to me ever because before that I was just a blogger but soon I can say that I am a proud blogger and an amateur writer as well.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>"To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness."</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><i><b>-Confucius</b></i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">But wait, there is more. I have always been a fan of Astronomy {Not astrology. People always get confused when I tell them that} and the Universe and everything in it. Before joining films I wanted to go to Nasa and explore the cosmos. But now I think that why can't I do both? And that is how I came across this site called </span></span><span style="font-size: 14px;">Coursera. It is an amazing site where universities from all around the world offer courses on mostly all the available subjects there exist. From Music to Social Sciences to Geography and of course Astronomy. And even though I finished my 1st Astronomy course last year, I decided that I wanted to venture more into the subject and that is why I signed up for the Astro-Biology course which is being conducted by the University of Edinburgh. I am in my 4th week now and viewing the lectures, writing the important points down and answering the quizzes makes me feel I am back in school and passing on to the next lecture is surely an exhilarating experience. I surely will sign up for more courses in the future 'cause I believe one should never stop learning. One should always learn something new and something which intrigues the human mind. But besides training, reading and studying, I have also signed up for my very 1st Comedy Improv Workshop. It is so much of fun I tell you and also a task 'cause there they teach you how to create comedy within a second's notice 'cause true comedy is always what comes automatically. Al though this is my 2nd workshop of this year {I did the Inside Out Acting workshop in january} I know this wouldn't be the first and last time that I would be doing an improv comedy workshop. I am hungry to learn more and the only way I can learn more is by finding that next new level which I need to cross and that next target which I need to Achieve.</span></span><br />
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<i><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">“The virtuous man contents himself with dreaming that which the wicked man does in actual life.” </span><br style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></b></i><br />
<i><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">― </span><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/10017.Sigmund_Freud" style="color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;">Sigmund Freud</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">, </span><span id="quote_book_link_93981" style="color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;"><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1758256" style="color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; text-decoration: none;">The Interpretation of Dreams</a></span></b></i><br />
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By now you must be thinking is that all you do in a week? But I say there is still a lot more that I can do and I should. My day starts by 8am and now I sleep of by 12am and in between apart from the above mentioned I make sure I give the No.1 importance to my Work. I go to mostly all the auditions that are being held. I meet Casting directors, Producers and Directors and I make sure I am in the loop with all the news of the new films that are being made so I can get the opportunity to show case my talents yet again. Apart from auditions, I love relaxing by watching American Television which includes American Crime Story, Supernatural and House Of Cards to name a few. Besides television I also am a huge fan of Video Games and now I am completely engrossed in Tom Clancy's The Division which is a treat for all game lovers. I am also deciding to learn a new language and although I know what language that is, I would like to talk about it some other time. Who knows maybe I may also share some words and sentences with you in that language in my next blog. And the main reason I wrote this blog today wasn't because I wanted to share my routine with you or the things that I am doing in my life. I know by having that agenda I would achieve nothing grand and neither would you. What I wanted to share was that we humans, if decide as a single individual that we will never be bored again, that we won't waste our time in thinking about what to do and actually go ahead and do it, we would really astonish ourselves! Now, I astonish myself everyday. And because I am so engrossed in my own activities throughout the day I have tagged myself as the Lone Wolf. If you go to my Snapchat {search mahaakshay} you will see all my posts with the #LoneWolf because now I do everything on my own. I watch movies in the theatre all by myself {a thing which I really love}, I see youtube videos of Parkour and Hip Hop, Comedy Improvs and Interviews of Legendary Actors. I make my own Breakfast and clean my own clothes. I truly live the life of a Lone Wolf, something which I am really proud of and something that I always wanted to do but never did until now. So I guess the Devil was right when he stated the fact that 'The Wicked Never Rest'. I don't know how wicked I am but what I do know is that I will make sure I will never sit idle again. And I will never stop learning and growing and becoming a better human being. I care two hoots about what people think about me but I do care a lot in becoming the best version of myself whenever I brush my teeth and cut myself while shaving. And that is why I will always be on a quest to find the next challenge and the next obstacle and the next battle to win. I hope you all who are reading this also find new challenges and ordeals to overcome and I wish you the very best in your chosen field of endeavour 'cause nothing and I mean nothing is more satisfying that reaching your goals and the feeling of victory of the human soul.<br />
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<i><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">“One must be cunning and wicked in this world.” </span><br style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></b></i><br />
<i><b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">― </span><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/128382.Leo_Tolstoy" style="color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;">Leo Tolstoy</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">, </span><span id="quote_book_link_656" style="color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;"><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/4912783" style="color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; text-decoration: none;">War and Peace</a></span></b></i><br />
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Story.<br />
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With All My Might,<br />
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Your No.1 Fan,<br />
<br />
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.<br />
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com7Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-16728332355193101702015-12-28T09:10:00.002-08:002015-12-28T09:13:44.452-08:00The Silent Guardian ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><b>“In order to achieve Greatness one must be able to do Great things and what greater than to sacrifice the feelings of the heart? You mortals will never understand that, for you will always give in to your compassion and feelings. But there will be one. The one who will dare to do what couldn’t ever be done.”</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-The Book Of Prophecies</b></i></div>
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The last blog I submitted was when I was in Phuket. Well, the last blog was actually submitted by Michael. I hope you guys were entertained by his honesty and his version of my life. Right now, Michael has taken a break and is now Partying with his Mates in Hell. Well, that is what his note said. Al though I am not the kinda guy who is good with emotions and attachments and all, but I actually do miss him and I am waiting for him to come back. But until he decides to show up I do know that I still have a job to do and one of those jobs is to write another blog entry and submit it before 2015 comes to an end. So here it is. The last blog entry of the year 2015. I don’t know about you but 2015 has been a great year for me. And to be honest 2015 wouldn’t and couldn’t had been the year it was if the Universe wasn’t there with me, every step pf the way. It helped me and guided me and showed me the way. Even though the Universe is expanding every mili-second it’s modesty makes it very quiet and unnoticeable. But I did notice it’s magnificent power and even though we call it many names I call and proclaim the Universe, My Silent Guardian. So dear Universe, this one’s for you.</div>
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<i>"I'm a survivor - a living example of what people can go through and survive."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_163354" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/elizabeth_taylor.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Elizabeth Taylor</a></i></div>
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It is very natural to reflect on the year that has gone by at the end of the year. People are travelling to different parts of the world, ready to party, making new resolutions and praying that the coming year makes all their dreams come true. If I was right now in Phuket, the place would had been jam packed and not even a single room would had been available for me to stay! I guess, that is how it is all around the world right now. And speaking of resolutions, do you know that it is a certain fact that we don’t achieve 90% of the resolutions we make on the 1st of january?!?! That means the best thing to do is to NOT make any resolutions at all! If you ask me what am I doing on new year’s eve, well, I will be home with the family hearing my Favourite song Stupify and playing Ghost Recon Future Soldier on the PS3. I am not that much into parties and that is why I will choose the quiet approach to the year 2016. But you see, this blog isn’t about what I have planned for 2016 and what all I will achieve in it. This blog is about The Silent Guardian aka The Universe who has been with me throughout the year of 2015 and which plans to guide me even for the years ahead. If you notice closely, whenever a Cricketer scores a century, he looks up and says thank you. Now, looking up can mean a lot of things. He can be thanking the god he chooses to worship or his ancestors that are looking down on him or the mighty universe which is with him at every step of the way. For me, I have always looked up and only seen the universe. The mighty universe waving it’s magic wand at me and blessing me with happiness and gratitude. My silent guardian has taught me so much this year and in return it has also given me a lot. Whether it was through it’s teachings or gifts, the silent guardian has been absolutely perfect in what it has done and continues to remain stedfast in it’s approach of making me the man I was born to be.</div>
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<i>"I am someone who always gets up again, even if there are setbacks. I have a survivor instinct. I'm not sure where it comes from, but probably from all the little things that make you into who you are."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_604739" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/heidi_klum.html" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Heidi Klum</a></i></div>
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Just like everybody out there I had the full belief and confidence that 2015 was going to be my year. I had a film coming up plus I had completely transformed myself as a man and as an actor for the film. The promos were liked, the music had become a hit and I knew in my heart that after Ishqedarriyaan released I would be starting to get good offers and my work would start. But all changed on that friday when I realised that none of the cinemas had given the film decent timings to be showcased at and on saturday I knew I had hit rock bottom once again. But even though the blow was hard, it didn’t keep me down. I sulked for a while, then healed my wounds, embraced the pain of defeat and stood right back up again. Till today, I don’t know where this strength comes from! This relentless pursuit towards greatness. Till today I don’t know how I get more stronger every time I am knocked down to a pulp. I guess it is the power of the silent guardian watching over me and making me realise that I am still in the fight. That instead of crying and feeling sorry for myself, I need to push harder than I did before. And that is why even though no one believes in me, I still believe in my dreams and I know that one day all of them will come true. At times when the heart questions the actions of the soul, I always remind myself that “Even Waiting Is Training” and “Every Dog Has His Day” and that one day my time to prove myself to the world will finally come and until that day comes I will do what I am best at doing. Grind and grind and grind and push and push and push until nothing of me is left to give. So what 2015 taught me was that no matter how hard the obstacles are laid in front of you, you never stop believing in your dreams and you never give up. You. Never. Ever. Give. Up.</div>
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<i>"I am a survivor and not a victim. Life isn't perfect. When you get a knock, you have to get up, dust yourself down and get on with it."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_513305" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/patsy_kensit.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Patsy Kensit</a></i></div>
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I have this calendar in my hall. In fact, every year I search for the ‘perfect’ calendar for my hall ‘cause this calendar is where I wrote down my goals. It is where I write down the things I want to achieve and it is where I read and remind myself of the dates which will be the turning point of my life. So this august I decided that I will finally go to phuket and train for a month at the Tiger Muay Thai and Mma camp and come back a changed man. I was completely convinced that it was going to happen and with that very conviction I had written the dates down on my calendar as well. Of course, I had never gone to a foreign country all by myself before so the challenges of convincing my family were of top priority. But my family being the amazing people they are agreed to the trip in a heartbeat and told me to go as soon as I could! I was blown away with this ‘cause even before talking to them I had written the dates down and guess what? My tickets were issued for those very same dates! I knew this was a sign from the universe and it was the best moment of my life! Of course when I did go to TMT I knew that, that was the place from which I would return a changed man and that is what exactly happened! I met amazing new people from all across the world, made great friends and trained my ass off in all the Martial Arts the place had to offer. My sleep patterns got better, my skin started to glow and I transformed from the inside out. When I came back, everyone was delighted to see the new me and I knew that I had the universe to thank for this amazing new journey I had gone for! But little did I knew that this was only part 1 of the master plan the silent guardian had in stored for me.</div>
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<i>"The soldiers that didn't come back were the heroes. It's a roll of the dice. If a bullet has your name on it, you're a hero. If you hear a bullet go by, you're a survivor."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_457296" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bob_feller.html" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Bob Feller</a></i></div>
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It was only a week or two after I had come back that I felt this sudden awakening. An awakening which was guiding me and telling me that I had to go back to camp. That I belong more in the fight that I belong to the normalcy of the world. I thought it was only the relapse of the joy I felt being there and getting my ass kicked everyday that was coming and going as flashes whenever I brushed my teeth or whenever I saw a Ufc Fighter’s training video. I even tried to ignore and diminish these feelings by doing things like everybody else. Whether it was meeting up with cousins or going for lunches and dinners, I tried it all just to convince myself that going to the camp was only a one-time thing. But the more the days passed the more the need to go back become real and I knew that the silent guardian yet again was hinting at me to do something. And so, I booked my tickets, packed my bags and went right back to where I had left off. All my trainers and coaches and teachers were there and all were delighted to see me return and so was I. I knew that this time around I would push more and achieve more. But what I didn’t know then was I would evolve more spiritually than physically. Yes, I did train thrice a day. Whether it was the record-breaking empty stomach runs I did in the mornings or the one on one muay thai sessions I did back to back. I was giving it my all. But more than the physical limitations I was breaking it was the fact that I was all by myself that was more surprising for me. I mean, I said hi and hello to everyone over there but for the most part of the day I was all by myself. I hardly interacted with anyone after my classes were done and nor did I go and chill at the local bars with the live music. I was in a way getting more self-sufficient and for me this was the most important turning point of my life! I had always believed that I was the Lone Wolf but in a very hypocritical and cowardly way I had always avoided the real test of truly being alone. But in the month of november when India was celebrating diwali and when families were lighting up crackers and giving each other gifts, I was all alone in Phuket training myself to finally become the Lone Wolf I had always aspired to become.</div>
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<i>"You recognize a survivor when you see one. You recognize a fighter when you see one."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_474240" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/elizabeth_edwards.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Elizabeth Edwards</a></i></div>
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The universe truly works in mysterious ways and in a way it is the Silent Guardian for all of us. I am a man of science and I believe in proof and theories backed up by years or research and data. That is why I love astronomy so much and the one thing astronomy teaches us is that all the chemicals and components found in the human body can also be found out there in the universe. So whatever happens to us is a direct link to the universe cause the universe is connected to us more than we can even fathom to understand. Yes, I am a man of faith but I am not a man of idol worship. I believe that ‘God’ never wanted us to kill each other but gave us our hands to lend a helping hand to those in need and make those hands fighting fists whenever we are faced with difficulties. And that is why I always look for signs and signals from the silent guardian. Whether it is a hoarding with a slogan at a traffic stop or a lyric from a song that I am hearing, the silent guardian is always throwing me signs and signals for me to understand. And since the time I have come back it has been making me realise one thing over and over again. And that is no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to ‘Fit in’ ‘cause I was always meant to stand out. And maybe that is why I have started to love my own company more than the company of others. Maybe that is why I have cut all ties from the people who were in my life and now I am at peace with just being by myself. Maybe that is why I don’t open up to people about my feelings anymore. Maybe this is strength or maybe this is just self-sustainability. Whatever it is, it is working for me big time! I have never felt better or stronger before and now with each passing day, I am more and more convinced that I am truly meant to be alone and nothing and no one in this world can change that. Not now. Not ever.</div>
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<i>"The feat of surviving is directly related to the capacity of the survivor."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_661342" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/claire_cameron.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Claire Cameron</a></i></div>
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Have you heard the song Short-Change Hero? it is from a group called The Heavy and it has been used in many films, tv shows and games. But the one film which does true justice to the song is ‘Faster’ which starred The Rock in 2010. I don’t know whether you have seen the film or not but for me it is by far one of the best films I have ever seen! Al though the story revolves around a man hell bent on revenge it is not the violence or the retribution of the man that attracts me to the film the most but rather the darkness and the loneliness of the man who knows he has nothing left but vengeance in his heart. In the end, right before the film comes to an end, the character played by The Rock, starts his car and rides off towards the sun set. For some reason I can’t remove that image and that song out of my head! it is like that scene is calling out to me! That the universe wants me to become that man who does his duties for his family and then who rides off alone towards the sun set! And the more I listen to the song the more I am convinced that, that will be eventually be my destiny! You may meet me and try to convince me that what I am feeling right now may only be a phase that I am going through but tell me honestly, do ‘phases’ last for 5 years? No right? And that is why the more I put myself out there the more I am convinced that I am a man who is more happier in his own private little world. Yes, one day I will travel the world for my work and yes, I will be meeting hundreds and thousands of people along the way but I know in my heart that no one will be able to make me feel as whole and as complete as the universe makes me feel when I am all by myself.</div>
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<i>"I am not a victim. I am an angry survivor."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_459643" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/nina_bawden.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Nina Bawden</a></i></div>
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There is beauty in sacrifice. There is strength in pain. And there is greatness in letting go of the things that the heart wants the most. Today, I realise that. And not because I feel it all the time but also because I have seen it happening it to me from time to time. Let me explain it to you by giving you an example. There is this guy Jim who one day goes to a restaurant and orders himself some Prawns. He eats them and finds them delicious. But only an hour later his stomach starts to growl and he gets a bad ache! He tells himself that he must have eaten some wrong vegetable or meat that made his stomach upset. Then, after a few days Jim again goes to the same restaurant and orders the same prawns and eats them to the fullest and the same ache happens and this time he tells himself that the restaurant may not be good at all. So he decides to go to another restaurant and order the prawns to convince himself that the prawns aren’t the problem at all. But the same thing happens again and he ends up getting admitted in the hospital and when the doctor comes and informs him that he shouldn’t eat prawns anymore he is convinced that Prawns aren’t right for him. The reason I told this story about Jim and Prawns is because the Universe has always shown me that I am not meant to be a social animal or ‘normal’ as thy call it. Time and again I have gotten proof that I am not meant to have friends or find love or be dependent on others for companionship. Time and again I have been Jim and whenever I have tried to eat those prawns I have always ended up in the hospital. Today, at the end of 2015, after all the aches and the cuts and the bruises and the joys and the triumphs I have come to realise that I am meant to be alone and for the first time in my life and that fact doesn’t disturb but gives me a sense of calmness. The Silent Guardian in it’s own magical way has shown me what kind of a man I am and what I need to do to achieve my dreams. I am blessed to have come this far in my life and I know that I am still learning. I know I will still make mistakes but I also know that I am wiser than yesterday and I am mature enough to not make the same mistakes again. I know I will stumble and I will fall. But I always get back up. When the world will celebrate the coming year with glasses in their hands, I will be in the gym grinding and sweating and making my muscles feel the pump with blood gushing through my veins. I thank my Silent Guardian for always being there for me and showing me time and again what kind of a man I truly am and what really is my ultimate destiny. I thank the silent guardian for making me hear that song, for making me visualise myself as the man who is wearing that leather jacket, big biker boots, oakley glasses and taking a selfie at the grand canyon, raising my hands at the centre of the poles, flagging my flag at the himalayas and giving a thumbs up to earth from the international space station. </div>
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<i>"Oh, I'm a survivor. My whole life has been surviving."</i></div>
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<i>-<a class="qa_216001" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/eddie_bracken.html" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Eddie Bracken</a></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this has been my 2015 with My Silent Guardian.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com2Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-16974376914637286792015-11-09T04:56:00.001-08:002015-11-09T04:57:59.171-08:00"I Don't Want To Be Like Mahaakshay Chakraborty ..."<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>“And so this mortal walked on. Walked alone in the path in front of him. But we, The Gods, were still not convinced of this mortal’s conviction and devotion so we sent the Reaper to him. The Reaper had only one objective, to test the soul of this mortal. To lure him into temptation and distract him and to make him weak. But after a while when the Reaper came back to us and told us what happened, we knew we made the right choice to make this mortal our Lone Wolf.”</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">For all those out there who think that Mahaakshay is writing this blog, let me stop you right there and inform you that Mahaakshay is right now engrossed in his training in Phuket. And since he is busy training his ass off I am taking the advantage of the free time I have before I go and tell you all about what I witnessed when I was with him. In case you don’t know who this is, I am Michael. I am the Reaper sent from the underworld to consume Mahaakshay’s soul but when Mahaakshay met me, he befriended me and started to call me Michael so I guess the name got stuck. I have written a few blogs over the course of many years that I have been with Mahaakshay. Since day one he knew what my intentions were and not even once did he flinch or was intimidated by me or my presence. He knew I was under direct orders from the lords of the underworld to make sure that his soul gets weakened and that he finally gives into normalcy and temptation. But what I saw was something to dark and cold to experience even for a soul observer like me. And even though I’m not that much of a talker I think this story has to be told.</span></div>
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">"If you don't like the hand that fate's dealt you, fight for a new one."</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">-<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/11047.Masashi_Kishimoto?utm_medium=email&utm_source=quote_of_the_day">Mavashi Kishimoto</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">They say every human being comes with a destiny. Well, I came into Mahaakshay’s life the moment he was born. The lords downstairs and some say even up there in heaven knew that he was the Mortal who the Book Of Prophecies had mentioned about. And since the Lords aren’t allowed to intervene with the humans they sent me to make sure that Mahaakshay never reaches his potential. I was assigned to make sure that he always be distracted and never once feel that he was destined to be special. For many years I was succeeding in my plan. Mahaakshay faced many trials and tribulations but not once did he flinch from his normalcy. I threw one temptation after the other at him and he gave in to all of it. The lords were quite happy with my work and they told me that I should continue this until Mahaakshay’s grows old, withers and dies. I was like, “Ok. This task was more easier than I had thought.” But then on that fateful day everything changed … forever.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">-<a class="qa_620612" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paulo_coelho.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Paulo Coelho</a></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was May 12th 2005. It was the 1st day when Mahaakshay saw the Promo for The Punisher film and the way his eyes were glued to that Skull I knew that something in him had changed forever. It was like a Seed was planted in him or a part of his soul which came to life that day. After that, he wasn’t the same man again. He became obsessed with Frank Castle! Everything in life revolved around The Punisher. Whether it was the Books, the Games or the Movies, Mahaakshay ate, slept and thought only about The Punisher. But even though he was distracted from the normal routines of life I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. So I made sure I did everything to keep him ‘normal’ and ‘mellow’. But with each passing day my powers were not affecting him and the Lords were sensing that too. So me and the lords came up with a new strategy. We thought lets fight with fire and so we initiated operation ‘Battle Soul’. Operation Battle Soul would make Mahaakshay’s life filled with Battle and conflicts and challenges to such extremes that he would finally give up and finally give in to us again. But what did we know that this Mortal wasn’t normal to begin with. He was destined to be Battle Forged and Battle Forged he became.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"Just because Fate doesn't deal you the right cards, it doesn't mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>-<a class="qa_400395" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/les_brown.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Les Brown</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">To this day I regret the day I brought Mma into Mahaakshay’s life! I thought that by getting hit in the head for a few times and having more than 3-4 shoulder dislocations Mahaakshay would realise that fighting isn’t meant for him and he would hang his gloves. But the exact opposite happened! The more he punched and kicked he felt alive and he eventually fell in love with the rush what fighting gives to a man. Since that day in 2010 November, he has not even once thought of stopping to learn and excel in the field of Mixed Martial Arts. And the more his body got stronger so did his spirit. Before he was dependant on others for approval and support but as the years passed he became more and more self-involved and less devoted to the care and feelings of others. The more he dwelled into the darkest parts of his soul the more he became the Mortal the Book Of Prophecies had proclaimed him to be. And even though I was there with him every step of the way, even though I was the only one Mahaakshay ever confided into I knew that I had lost Mahaakshay forever. And at that point I didn’t care what kind of Punishment the Lords would sentence me with. At that point I only knew that even though I was the Grim Reaper the taker of souls, I would never want to be like Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"Our fate is determined by how far we are prepared to push ourselves to stay alive - the decisions we make to survive. We must do whatever it takes to endure and make it through alive."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">-<a class="qa_513018" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bear_grylls.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Bear Grylls</a></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I mean who goes back to camp just after coming back? Who goes back into the fight when he has family and friends and loved ones waiting for him back home? Who gets so consumed by Fight, Battle and War that he can’t enough of it? In my line of work I have taken souls of billions and billions of souls. I have seen darkness and goodness in all of them. But what I see in Mahaakshay scares even me! His soul you see, it is consumed by a purity even I have’t seen yet! And now I know why the Lords are so scared of him! He is human but behaves like a machine. He doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t wander. He doesn’t stop! i have seen the way people look at him! I have seen the hate he has received from the world for the way he is! But nothing seems to affect him! He gets up, washes his face and gets back right into the fight! i mean, have you ever heard a guy go up to his trainer and tell him, “Master I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I want to feel the pain in my body and I want to have cuts and bruises all over my body tomorrow morning! So hit me and let me get stronger!” Those words no normal man can ever say but now I have come to realise that Mahaakshay was never normal to begin with. No matter what I tried to do to distract him. Whether it was lust or care or kindness or even love noting could stop Mahaakshay from being the man he was destined to be. And now I don’t see a man, I see a Soul on Fire. A Soul ignited by Battle. And a Man that will never stop.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">-<a class="qa_131449" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/aldous_huxley.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Aldous Huxley</a></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">But before I planned to depart to the underworld again, I finally took the courage and had a one on one with Mahaakshay. I wanted to once and for all truly understand this mortal who had become the best friend that I ever had. The following is the dialogue exchanged between me and Mahaakshay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: Why do you do it brother? Why fight so hard? Why only fight? Why never stop?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: Brother, you of all people should know by now that I am nothing without my fight. Fighting is what i do best. Whether I am fighting for my right to be here or whether I am fighting to be noticed, Fighting is what keeps me alive and makes me push myself harder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: But brother, there is life even beyond fighting. Don’t you agree?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: I tried that life brother. i tried to be ‘Normal’. I tried to have friends and I also tried to fall in love, to be in love and stay in love but you know how all those stories turned out to be. All left.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: They didn’t leave you bro. I was there. it was you who pushed them away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: Yes I did. And I did that because I know who I am. I am the lone wolf. And lone wolves can never keep others happy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: Why don’t you try again brother?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: Too late for me now. I am too far down that rabbit hole. And now there is no going back for me. Frank Castle never wanted me to become this way I know. Mma never wanted me to turn into this machine. I know. This was all me. I am the reason I have become this aloof, self-centred, selfish of a human being. I am the reason I am alone today and always will be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: But brother, I have seen you smile. I have seen you breaking bread with wonderful people. I have seen you care and I have seen you having hope towards the light of things. It isn’t too late for you. You can still turn this darkness into light.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: This isn't darkness my brother. This is a joy. A Black kind of Joy. A Joy only few will ever experience. There is a beauty in pain. There is power in Sacrifice. And there is Greatness in always being alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: But don’t you miss your family? Don’t you miss your friends? Don’t you miss being in love?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Maha: I have made many mistakes in my past my brother. And I promise I will never make anyone a collateral damage ever again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: I respect your decision but you still haven’t answered my question. Don’t you miss being like everybody else?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: I am alone here. I wake up alone. I sleep alone and I train alone. I see married couples, girlfriends and boyfriends, people who drink and party. I see love and laughter and joy everywhere I go. But you see being alone is what makes me stand out from the crowd. I am stronger when I am alone. I know there is a part of me which still feels … something. But that part is slowly dying away Michael. And very soon there will be nothing in me which will even be remotely human. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: Why kill something so beautiful?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: There is a beauty in war. You don’t see War and Battle and Pain as I do. And I guess no one ever has and no one ever will. And that is why I know I will always be misunderstood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: But I can fix this for you. I can give you all that you are willing to sacrifice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: There is victory only in sacrifice. There is greatness only in being truly alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: I can never be like you brother. When I first came to you all I had for you was remorse and hate because the Lords had told me that you would be the reason of our demise. That you would be the one who would end the reign of the gods. But the more I spent time with you, I came to saw that there was only Goodness in you and I had no right to take that away from you. I felt in my heart that you deserved to be happy. And that is why I fell in love with your kindness. But then something happened, didn’t it? You came across a Darkness within you. Didn’t you? And you gave in to it. Am I not right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: It is time for you to go and meet Hades my friend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: Answer me brother. Please tell me what was it that changed you. That is the one thing I could never figure out. Please tell me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: Somethings and some people are never meant to be understood. I have learnt that the hard way. I can’t answer your question brother. I can’t give an answer to justify what I feel and how Battle and Loneliness some how fill me up. I am sorry my brother but I have no answer for you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: I don’t pray much you know that but I will pray for you my friend. I will pray that one day you find love. That one day you find someone who tames the beast in you. I will pray that one day you will find your House with the Picked Fence. I will pray that one day you do have a normal life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: This is my life now. And given a choice I will choose this life over and over again ‘cause one day these Sacrifices will reap the rewards I so long for. One day these struggles will have value. One day my battles will prove to be victorious. And until that day comes I will Get Up, Dress Up and Show Up for the fight every single day. I will look at temptation and love and kindness and care right in the eye and so No to all of those feelings. I will stand for what I believe in. I will do what I know is right for me. I will never stop. And I will never give up. You go now brother. And you take care ok. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Me</i>: I love you man. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Maha</i>: :-)</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">-<a class="qa_389606" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/o/o_henry.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">O. Henry</a></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So that was my last conversation with my friend Mahaakshay Chakraborty. I know I am going to be back in the Underworld very soon but something tells me I will meet him again very soon. He truly is a lone wolf and it isn’t easy being Mahaakshay. I really do pray that he finds what he is looking for. But if I ever get to befriend another human being I will surely tell him about Mahaakshay. And I will also tell that other mortal that one should never be like Mahaakshay and when he will ask me why? I will tell him that only the bravest of us all can bear that kind of a burden. And there is no one as brave as Mahaakshay. For All Men Are Dogs. Few Are Wolves. But Only Few Are Lions. And only One Is Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is me, Michael, The Reaper and I was once the Friend of Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">With All My Might,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Your No.1 Fan,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Michael.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">"To live alone is the fate of all great souls."</span></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: large;">-<a class="qa_377750" href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/arthur_schopenhauer.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Arthur Schopenhauer</a></span></i></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com2Phuket, Thailand7.9519331 98.3380884000000616.9452256 97.047194900000065 8.958640599999999 99.628981900000056tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-4974483437780488102015-10-23T13:46:00.000-07:002015-10-23T13:46:02.560-07:00I Am The Fight ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i><b>"And this mortal of ours, He will finally know his calling. And then, he will vanish into the wilderness. He will go on a quest to find the true meaning of his existence. And he will go through hell and back and he will touch his own darkness. And then one day, when the world will need him the most he shall return. But until that time comes, this mortal will fight the monsters and the mayhem. He will rise his sword and vanquish the evil from the face of the earth and in the end, when he will finally hear the siren, he will return and he will bring the fight with him."</b></i><br />
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<i><b>-The Book Of Prophecies.</b></i><br />
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Yes, it has been a while. I remember, the last blog I wrote was before I was leaving for Fight Camp. And now, it has been more than 45-50 days that I am returning here to write my newest entry. I guess like all writers, I only open the laptop and start typing when the words in my head can't be contained anymore. Like all writers, sometimes the words just come out at the right time and I guess this is that right time. This is that time when the world needs to read something more about me yet again.<br />
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Yes, I do know you all wanna know about Fight Camp and trust me, I am ecstatic to tell you all about it as well. But before I begin, I just want you to know that going to fight camp was by far the most amazing and evolved experience of my life!<br />
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I left for fight camp on the 1st of September and I returned back to Mumbai a month later. Everyone who met me after I returned were in awe of the transformation that occurred. I thank everyone for their lovely words and I also thank all the people out there who were very kind to leave wonderful comments on my pics and trust me, it is because of all of you that I do that little extra. It is because of your belief that I go the extra mile. So thank you from the bottom of my heart to be there for me. :-)<br />
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To be honest I was petrified to go to camp! It was the 1st time in my life that I was going to a different country all by myself and living in a new environment outside of my family's and that scared me yet excited me! Along with the fact that I was going away for a month was the promise that I gave to my family that when they see me again, they would meet a new me. And I am happy to say that, that is what exactly happened. I did change a lot. But more than the physical appearance I think I changed more mentally. I evolved more when I was alone for 30 days. Of course, I made wonderful friends over there and I know that my friendship with those amazing people will last forever but being there, day in and day out, attending 3 classes everyday, in the scorching heat, dripping sweat like water, I realised that I was always meant to be this man. This man, who was always part of the wilderness. And the man who always meant to Fight.<br />
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<i>"I do what I do because it is the right thing to do. I am a warrior, and it is the way of the warrior to fight superior odds."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paul_watson.html" id="qa_641862" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Paul Watson</a></i></div>
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I still remember the 1st day of camp. I arrived in the afternoon and I met the manager of Tiger muay Thai and Mma. His name was Jolan and he was very kind and sweet and showed me the entire camp and also gave me a brief introduction of all the facilities that the camp had to offer. I was thrilled and I wasn't going to wait until the next day to start training so I went for the 4pm Muay Thai Beginner's Class. The class lasted 2 hours and by the time the class was over, I was tired and dizzy in the dry Phuket heat! I also got my ass handed to me 'cause I was sparring against many Muay Thai fighters who were kind enough to show us a few moves. All in all it was the toughest 2 hours of my life and I knew that this was only the beginning!<br />
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Before I went to Phuket, I had only googled TMT {Tiger Muay Thai} and so I had no clue as to how amazing it would be and how many various classes it had to offer. And if you thought that TMT was the only camp there you were so wrong! TMT had located me at the 2home Resort which was a 10mins walk from the camp and so while coming and going to camp, I also saw that there were 3 gyms, 2 more muay thai camps, 1 truly amazing cross fit centre and another Mma camp on the same street! And not to mention the countless Healthy Restaurants and the shops with multiple Mma brands to choose from! I was in Fitness paradise! Yes, that is the only way to describe it!<br />
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Everyone was always on scooters or motor bikes but I decided that I would rent a cycle. Well, a cycle with gears and that way I would cycle my way to camp everyday. Now, of course I realise that renting a bike would had been a much better choice but back then I really liked my Bike Rides, even when it was pouring and thunder storms would come and go. I had an amazing connection with that bike and when I do return to camp, maybe I would rent it again. :-)<br />
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And so my one month at phuket started. I was thrilled and excited and nervous and yet full of energy and as the days went by and I got the feel of the place and I knew it in my heart that this won't be the 1st and last time that I would visit this place. Only 4-5 hours away from Mumbai, I knew that this place would eventually be my 2nd home. :-)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Each Warrior wants to leave the mark of his will, his signature, on important acts he</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>touches. This is not the voice of ego but of the human spirit, rising up and declaring that it has something to contribute to the solution of the hardest problems, no matter how vexing!"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa;">-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/pat_riley.html" id="qa_129222" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Pat Riley</a></i></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">And so as the days went on I got engrossed into my training. Day in and day out I went deeper and deeper into this amazing world of training. Whether it was Brazilian Jui-Jitsu in the morning or Combat Conditioning with the russian fighters by 9:30am, I tested my abilities everywhere. And during these sessions I came across the Strength and Conditioning class which was by far the most packed and famous class in camp. And the reason it was so was because of the instructor John Priest. He was truly amazing in what he did and also the exercises he made us perform. The classed were tough and challenging but they were rewarding as well. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;">John Priest was also one of the trainers who was coaching Roger Huerta, a veteran in the Mma world for his fight which was coming up in a few weeks. Mr. Priest was truly an inspiration for us all but what was more rewarding was that one day he came up to me and shook my hand and told me something that I would never forget. He told me, "I need more people like you in my class. You can motivate others and make them push more and you inspire me!" I was speechless after what I had heard and I knew that I had earned the respect of one of the best Trainers I had the honour of training with!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And if that wasn't enough, Sir came up to me a few days before I left camp and told me that he wants to train me one on one! Of course I did train with him and every moment of that class was like a dream come true for me! After that class sir shook my hand and told me that I want to see you back here again someday very soon and I told him, "I promise I would be back sir." Who knew that I would fulfil that promise sooner than I had ever expected. :-)</span></div>
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<i>"Study strategy over the years and achieve the spirit of the warrior. Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/miyamoto_musashi.html" id="qa_399983" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Miyamoto Musash</a>i</i></div>
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Everyday for me in phuket was an adventure. Whether it was the moody weather, or the amazing local food, I had the privilege to experience it all! The people were very friendly and thai sports massages after training were very relaxing and soothing as well. But there is one incident I really wanna share with you. I met this Russian Fighter in camp. His name was Alexi and he was preparing for his fight in Indonesia at the upcoming One Fc Mma event. I observed him for a few days and the more I did, this Navy Seal looking guy became my inspiration and hero! He never spoke to anyone and trained like an animal throughout the day. Even during dinner, he would sit alone and eat his meal with his head phones on. I knew I had to befriend him. Luckily for me, he was in the same classes as I was and we always gave each other a nod of recognition before starting class. There were also times when I tried talking to him but since he was the quit types our conversations weren't more than a word of Hi and Hello. But on that one fruitful day, everything changed. :-)</div>
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We were having our Wrestling class by 5pm and I was already 2 classes down with only one meal inside of me. Wrestling like Jui-Jitsu and Mma Sparring is very tough and it requires an enormous amount of cardio and agility. I of course as the over enthusiastic person that I am volunteered for the wrestling class 'cause I wanted to know how it is. Of course Alexi was there and after the 15mins warm-up and the 30mins Technical Drills, our instructor told us all to wrestle with one another in a 'friendly non-competitive' way. After the 1st round Alexi looked at me and told me to wrestle with him in the 2nd round. I of course was in candy land and said Yes and what followed was an experience I would never forget.</div>
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As soon as the bell rang we were grappling and 40 seconds into the round Alexi just applied a little pressure on my right shoulder and before I knew it, my shoulder popped! Oh yeah, you heard me, the Right Shoulder just popped out of the socket! The pain was excruciating and when he asked me what was wrong, I told him I was fine and then it took me one whole minute to bring the shoulder ball back in! After that was done I managed to wrestle with him for the remaining of the round and somehow survive the gruelling agony which I was feeling. Of course I went head on with him for the next 2-3 rounds and I think Alexi put me on the mat for more than 20-30 times! But by the end of the most toughest ass-kicking session of my life Alexi came up to me and shook my hand and smiled! Yes, he smiled! For me, that smile meant a lot and I knew that after all the wait and ass-whopping I had finally made friends with my hero on camp. :-)</div>
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<i>"Courage, above all things, is the first quality of a warrior."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/carl_von_clausewitz.html" id="qa_143516" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Carl von Clausewitz</a></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">By the end of camp I was nicknamed as the 'Machine'! I shit you not but that is what everyone started calling me there. Whether it was me doing my Private Muay Thai sessions with Master Danai with my elevation mask on or whether it was me training 3 classes a day, 5 days a week at the most Advanced Levels of training at TMT and Unit-27, I was not Mahaakshay or Mimoh anymore. I was the Machine. For a guy like me who was always the fat kid in school, hearing the word Machine was like the best compliment ever! </span></span></h2>
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I knew that opting to come to this Camp was one of the best decisions of my life and when I think of it, I only smile. And that smile comes from a deep sense of joy and contentment that I kept the promise I gave to my family and to myself. But when I came back, I knew that My training here won't ever be the same again. When I got back I went to the same gyms I did before but something was different. The people were the same but the feeling felt a little different. It was like I knew I can do better and train harder and push more. Of course the Bodyholics Gym which just opened in Andheri is the only Gym which comes close to the level of training I had there and luckily for me, my Coach, Abbas Ali owns the gym!</div>
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But at times like these, I know I have to wait for that right film to come. I know I can do more than just wait for the opportunity to present itself. I can be prepared for it! And that is why I have opted to go back to camp for another 30 days in the month of November. I know how the camp is now and I also know that I can push myself more than I did last time and I can also enrol myself into Phuket Top Team, the Technical Fight Factory and the Muscle Bar Meal Plan. This is me, upgrading myself and pushing myself more harder than I ever have 'cause I know that only when I give, I will be given in return.</div>
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<i>"To achieve the mood of a warrior is not a simple matter. It is a revolution. To regard the lion and the water rats and our fellow men as equals is a magnificent act of a warrior's spirit. It takes power to do that."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/carlos_castaneda.html" id="qa_158453" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Carlos Castaneda</a></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">You can ask me, "Why do you wanna go back to camp? You just came home!" Well, let me explain that to you then.</span></span></h2>
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All my life I have fought. And now, after all these years, I have become very good at it. Whether the fight for me has been physical or mental, I know that I am at my best when I am in the battlefield. Going to Phuket gave me a taste of that Battle a little more and now I am hungry for more! I want to go back 'cause I feel alive when I am pushed and tested and when my Body is screaming for Rest from the heat of the sun or when my limbs tell me that they can't move an inch further. I am Myself when I am fighting. And that is why I choose to go back. At times like these I relate myself to Frank Castle aka The Punisher. In one of the most important stories of him ever told, there is a chapter when he is at Central Park with his family just before they get gunned down. While his children are playing he comes up to his wife Maria and tells her, "I am leaving you." She is in tears and asks him why? He says, "I feel dead inside. This life isn't for me. I am sorry." And before she could say anything the bullets start piercing them from all over and they die right in front of his eyes.</div>
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The reason this story is so close to me is because now I can say 'That I am Frank Castle' in more ways than one. For me, normality ins't exciting anymore. I spoil for a Fight and I lust for War. I truly am a War Junkie and I know that my end will truly be in the Battlefield. I have to go back and be alone. With myself, with my thoughts and with my true purpose. I have to look myself in the mirror and remind myself everyday that this is who I truly am. I am a man who has fallen in love with his War and I am a man who will never have enough of it. </div>
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I can't wait to go back. I can't wait for my name to be heard when the Frankie gives the call-out for the people present in class. I can't wait to Wrestle in my Hayabusa Rash Guard and I can't wait to be the man who is turning into the Lone Wolf. The remnant of Ares himself.</div>
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I know I may sound weird. And I know that all of you are finding and fighting for something also. So I hope you maybe be able to connect with the way I feel. None of us have it easy. We all want something and that is why we fight. The only difference is we fight in different battlefields. As I said before I know my time will come and until that day comes, I will train and I will learn and I will make myself better in every possible way that I can. This is who I am and this is what I will always be.</div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I Am The Fight.</div>
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<i>"You are part of that horrid expression, the best and the brightest. It can be a terrible burden if you let it be, but it is the great challenge of your time. And being a warrior in that challenge should be wondrous."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paul_tsongas.html" id="qa_372122" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Paul Tsongas</a></i></div>
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With all my might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-76683339870288784482015-08-31T05:28:00.002-07:002015-08-31T05:28:42.934-07:00The Silent Prayer ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>“And then the mortal shall venture into the unknown. He will see what his fate has in stored for him. He will feel fear and excitement. He will be thrilled, just like a young boy at christmas morning. He will know deep down in the very depths of his soul that this is how his life play out now. This venture into the unknown will be the gateway to his greatness. Only alone, through facing his fears and embracing his true potential will he become one of the elite. That is how he will become one of us.”</i></div>
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<i>-The Book Of Prophecies. </i></div>
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I am nervous. I am scared. I am thrilled and I am excited. Basically all emotions wrapped up into one. I mean, this is really happening you know! I am finally going for Fight Camp and not just for a week but for an entire month! This is unknown territory for me and that is why it is so exciting for me. This is the very 1st time in my life I am going on an adventure! For a month I will be by myself, I will be training day in and day out and every day I will find myself. For all those years those voices in my head which screamed for this moment are now dancing. They are so happy and delighted that this is happening! I am truly grateful to the universe and to my parents for this opportunity. And truth to be told, no matter how grateful I can be and the billions of thanks I give to my parents and to the universe, they won’t be enough to justify my joy! Thank you thank you thank you so so much from the bottom of my heart! This is pure joy. Like the pure of the purest of joys! :-)</div>
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<i>"If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/meister_eckhart.html" id="qa_149158" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Meister Eckhart</a></i></div>
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Very soon I will be at Tiger Muay Thai and Mma Fight Camp where people from all around the world will be training and preparing and focused on changing themselves for the better. I have always thrived in competition and in those group classes over there I will find many with whom I can compete with. Whether they are punching, kicking or running, I know I will find many who will motivate me to push my limits to the next level. This is truly next level shit for me and this is what I need now. I know Coach’s gym will be open by the time I come back but for the month of September I am going to push my boundaries. Training isn’t only about your physical limitations. It is also about the mental attitude you have while running in the scorching heat or kicking the bag so hard that your legs are burning in pain. It is all about convincing yourself that yes you can and you will! </div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">"In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was 'Help me.' Sometimes a prayer was 'Thank you.' What I've discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/i/iyanla_vanzant.html" id="qa_519994" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Iyanla Vanzant</a></span></i></div>
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This opportunity has been given to me and I know that a part of me has even earned the right to go there. But the journey doesn’t end there. In fact, it only begins when I reach TMT {Tiger Muay Thai}. I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I have many promises to keep. To my parents, to the universe and to myself. This is a dream coming true and I have to do whatever it takes to make sure that I do what all I have planned to do in the coming 30 days. That thought surely gives me goosebumps as all eyes are on me. But as long as I can remember, I have never backed down from a fight and this is one of the most important fights of my life. Why is it that you ask? Well, ‘cause this time my dreams are on the line and I have to show it to the people I love and care for that My Dreams Do Matter.</div>
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<i>"God, our Creator, has stored within our minds and personalities, great potential strength and ability. Prayer helps us tap and develop these powers."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/a_p_j_abdul_kalam.html" id="qa_403532" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">A. P. J. Abdul Kalam</a></i></div>
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So I pray. I pray in the stillness of the night. I look up and tell the universe to be with me and to give me strength to push, push and push and to never stop. I pray to show me the light. I pray that I become a better human being. That when I train I never stop. That everyday I only evolve and become more calmer through my aggression. I pray that I use all my anger and rage as a force of good not as a seed to evil. I pray that in the darkness of the night I find hope not isolation. I pray that everyday over there I seek and find what I am looking for. I pray that my prayers are answered. I pray that I find the courage to face the realities of my life and to overcome all obstacles. I pray that I glow even in times of complete blackness. I pray that I never stop and only keep moving forward. I pray that I make my family proud of the decision that they made for me to go to Fight Camp and I pray that when they see me again they see a transformed Me, both physically and mentally. I pray that I use my fears as a tool towards success. I pray that I become so contended that I never have to feel anger, misery or rage again. I pray that I find the peace I am looking for. And I pray that from the bottom of my heart that Fate meets me in this glorious journey that I am about to take.</div>
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<i>"'Thank you' is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/alice_walker.html" id="qa_446395" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Alice Walker</a></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Silent Prayer.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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PS. In my previous blog I had mentioned that I would be in touch with my regular blog updates but I can’t promise that as all depends on my training and the classes I take and the amount of time I am engrossed in my training. So until next time, thank you for being there for me and reading my blogs and being a part of my journey. I know one day my time will come. One day I will make you all proud of me. I know that for some it takes years while others get at the beginning. I know it has been 9 years for me here but I can say that I am still here and I know that I am meant to be here and no matter what happens I am not going to quit. I am never going to give up, no matter how hard it gets. Failures can't stop and pain will only make me stronger. I am here 'cause I know I belong here and one day my time to shine in the sun will come. Until then I will do what I do best. I will raise my sword and shield and I will fight!</div>
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I need all the blessings and prayers I can get. :-)</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-51766829804861119112015-08-29T13:50:00.001-07:002015-08-29T13:50:39.548-07:00The Little BIG Chapters Of My Life ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>“So finally, after all the trials and the errors of his human heart, the mortal we chose will realise his power. He will know what he is destined for. And it won’t be the normality that life will offer. It won’t be the Barbeque grill or the beers or the laughs. It will be the quest to find himself. The journey of the soul. The path of the lone wolf. And when he does embrace this journey of his, he will be changed forever. He will become unique. He will become One Of Us.”</i></div>
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<i>-The Book Of Prophecies. </i></div>
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<b>The Last Of Us …</b></div>
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I feel so proud to be one of the billions who had the chance to play such an amazing game! I have always been a gamer but now, after playing The Last Of Us I can proudly say that I am The Gamer! The Last Of Us is by far one of the best games I have ever played! Every moment was engrossing and thrilling! I was so addicted to the game and even though I wanted to finish the game at the same time I never wanted the game to end! Whether it was the amazing upgrades you get for your weapons or the beautiful scenery the developers designed or whether it was the realistic fight sequences, the game was truly epic! I really wish they make a sequel of the game! Yes, I want the characters to return. I want more upgrades and I want to feel that excitement to play the game again! But if there ever comes a time when I do survive an apocalypse I know I would make the same choices and fight as hard to survive as the characters in the game did. There is something amazing about living in a world like that. A world where 24/7 your survival instincts are on. I guess for a War Junkie like me it would feel just like home. But for now, I am just as happy playing the amazing game with a remote in my hands. :-)</div>
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<i>"Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/elisabeth_kublerross.html" id="qa_661509" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Elisabeth Kubler-Ross</a></i></div>
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<b>Lucifer …</b></div>
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Do you know there is a show called Lucifer premiering next year? I did see the Trailer and as soon as I did I was rushed with excitement! I mean how cool is that! Not only did Supernatural show how amazing Lucifer was but now they have a show solely dedicated to the Bad-Ass of all angels! I can’t wait for it to start! Trust me, when you watch the trailer you will agree with me. I mean he is Lucifer, the most mis-understood angel of all but now he is fed up from hell and has taken a break and come to earth and al though he carries all the 9 circles of sins with him, he is still here on earth helping humans in his own devilish way! Yes, I do see myself in him. I always thought I was mis-understood and maybe that is why I feel the connection with him and watching all those episodes and see Lucifer Kick-Ass would be a pure delight! Lucifer … please start soon! :-)</div>
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<i>"If those committed to the quest fail, they will be forgiven. When lost, they will find another way. The moral imperative of humanism is the endeavor alone, whether successful or not, provided the effort is honorable and failure memorable."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/e_o_wilson.html" id="qa_176386" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">E. O. Wilson</a></i></div>
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<b>The Office …</b></div>
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I was always in love with The Office which starred Ricky Gervais and I till today I wish that it had more than 2 seasons. But now, recently I have started watching the American Version of The Office starring Steve Carrell and I must say that I am hooked! I am right now in the 3rd season and I am happy to know that is has 9 seasons in total! Every night I laugh my ass off before I shut my eyes and venture off into dreamland. The actors are par excellence and their comic timing is to die for! This show is a must for all ‘cause I do know that we all deserve a laugh now and then. :-)</div>
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<i>"Man is wise and constantly in quest of more wisdom; but the ultimate wisdom, which deals with beginnings, remains locked in a seed. There it lies, the simplest fact of the universe and at the same time the one which calls forth faith rather than reason."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/hal_borland.html" id="qa_151983" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Hal Borland</a></i></div>
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<b>Dubsmash …</b></div>
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Whoever created the Dubsmash app, I salute you! It was a genius move and today the app is a worldwide phenomena! Each and everyone has recorded and tried something or the other while using the app and when I caught the bug of the Dubsmash App I knew that I would for a very long time be addicted to it. And now, Me, My brothers and their friends are somewhat celebrities on the App! Whether it is the comments we get on our instagram page or whether it is people coming up to us and actually telling us that we make funny dubsmash videos is truly a very good feeling! I am completely in love with the app and if given a choice I would love to make a Dubsmash video everyday. Funny or serious. Dialogue or song, dubsmash is the app for all! :-)</div>
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<i>"Clarity and consistency are not enough: the quest for truth requires humility and effort."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/tariq_ramadan.html" id="qa_531550" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Tariq Ramadan</a></i></div>
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<b>Immortalized</b> …</div>
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Disturbed has been my favourite Rock band for ages now! I think I have heard their song ’Stupify’ at least a million times and their other song ‘Indestructible’ a close second! Their music completes me. And there can’t be any better band for me than Disturbed. And now, they have come up with their Brand New Album titled Immortalized. It is available on iTunes right now and if you are a rock lover then this album is for you. You should hear ‘The Vengeful One’, ‘The Light’ and ‘The Sound Of Silence’. Oh yeah, they are my top three songs from the album. The Vengeful One tops my list ‘cause if you listen to the lyrics, you will agree with me also. The lyrics have power and meaning and a message only a band as beautiful as Disturbed can. And The Vengeful one relates a lot with The Punisher so my connection with the song is deeper than just guitars and drums. This album is a must-hear for all rockers! Download now! :-)</div>
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<i>"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/norman_cousins.html" id="qa_133176" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Norman Cousins</a></i></div>
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<b>Country Music …</b></div>
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I know I know, this is a complete opposite of Rock Music but for as long as I can’t remember but I have always loved Country music. Maybe it is the two opposites sides of the spectrum thing that ticks me the right way. I mean on one side I have this amazing rock band expressing their feelings with an electronic guitar and on the other side I hear these talented musicians talking about their first crush and beer in a smooth melody. I still don’t know why I love Country music so much. Maybe it is the fascination that one day I will go to America and wear a Cowboy hat and take part in the small town festivals and eat Chicken Wings and have Beer. Or maybe the music just touches the right chords in me. To be honest, I don’t know yet but what I do know that if after Rock there is any other Music Genre which I really love, then it is Country Music. :-)</div>
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<i>"The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/dag_hammarskjold.html" id="qa_152630" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Dag Hammarskjold</a></i></div>
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<b>The Bodyholics Combine Training Studio …</b></div>
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I have been training with Abbas Ali since February. And now, after 6 months of training with him, I can say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made! He is truly one of the best trainers out there and now we share a bond of family and brotherhood than of a coach and a client. I look up to him and always listen to his advice. In fact, the entire Bodyholics team is like Family for me. Whether it is the-always-ripped Mayank or the Serious-Yet-Funny guy Nadir or the Woman who keeps the Bodyholics foundation strong-Vedu, the bodyholics team is a part of my daily life. So you can imagine how happy and excited I am that Coach is now coming up with his own Combine Training Studio! Oh ya, you heard me, the very first Combine Training Studio! People have already started enrolling into it and everyone is also talking about it. Any gym and every gym has heard the news that by September 3rd week or so the Studio will be open for it’s members and the talks are that it is truly state-of-the-art! Well, I have already seen the place. Coach has given the complete layout and trust me, I am not over-exaggerating but truly and with all seriousness the Bodyholics Combine Training Studio is next-level and whoever wants to be the part of the elite should join right away! I know I already have. :-)</div>
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<i>"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/erich_fromm.html" id="qa_403605" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Erich Fromm</a></i></div>
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<b>Tiger Muay Thai and Mma …</b></div>
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Dream. Come. True!!! I am speechless! I am so excited and I am so happy! I am actually going to the Fight Camp! I am over-joyed and whenever I think about how amazing it will be there my face just lights up! I will be there for a month and I will get a chance to take my training to the next level! I really should thank my parents for giving me this opportunity and letting me live my dream! You must have known by now that I have always loved Fighting and Testing my limits both mentally and physically! And now, I have that opportunity! I will be Training, Eating and Staying inside the Camp and will be training for nearly 5-6 hours a day! I can just keep on talking about this amazing adventure of the human spirit I am about to start in just a few days but what I am thinking is that I will try to update the world with my blogs everyday when I am there. I do agree that the blogs maybe one or two paragraphs long but I believe that, that way you will see the experience I am having there on a daily basis. Whether it is Muay Thai or Mma or even Brazilian Jui-Jitsu, they have everything at camp! They train early in the mornings even in the late evenings. They have beach workouts and also Cross-Fit and even the Toughest Boot Camp Training in Asia! Can you imagine GSP {George St. Pierre} has also trained at Tiger Mma! You can sense my excitement right now, can’t you? So imagine how I will be when I will be in the camp! :-) As I said earlier, I really thank my parents for giving me this opportunity and believing in me and also thanks to my siblings for supporting me in this venture. And I should also deeply thank the universe for this! This has been one of greatest dreams I ever had and in a span of just a few days it will be true! Yes, I am going there to push my limits. Yes, I am going there to transform. But more importantly I am going there to find myself. Yes, in the midst of Training and Blood, Sweat and Tears and all the Muscle Soreness I know I will find the thing that I am looking for. That answer to my question. That path which is laid infant of me. That Greatness which only a Lone Wolf can have. </div>
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<i>"Join me in my quest for a greater understanding of our existence. Join me in my desire for a greater self. Join me as I seek the humility to love and understand my fellow man."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bryant_h_mcgill.html" id="qa_168245" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Bryant H. McGill</a></i></div>
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So there you have it. The Little BIG Chapters of my life. I guess it is small things which lead up to the big things. Every chapter written here has impacted me in a spiritual level and every thing that I have written here is a part of me. A very dear part of me. I thank you all once again for reading my blogs and spreading the word. As mentioned earlier, I will try my best to be in touch when I go to camp. Maybe I will write a Blog everyday or maybe I won’t write at all. Maybe I will post videos and tweet about the entire amazing adventure or maybe i will just change and become The Warrior who stays in the shadows. Life is amazing. We just need to see the miracles that happen to us everyday. We need to have the courage to step out and beyond our comfort zone and go looking for that what defines us. I know I am doing it right now. I wish you do it also. We all are blessed in some way or the other. And we all should should be Grateful about it, one way or another. :-)</div>
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<i>"I feel the older I get, the more I'm learning to handle life. Being on this quest for a long time, it's all about finding yourself."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/ringo_starr.html" id="qa_454578" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Ringo Starr</a></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and these are the Little BIG Chapters of My Life … :-)</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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PS. Somethings in this life are truly worth fighting for! :-)</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-68632703427237050172015-08-01T08:40:00.000-07:002015-08-01T08:40:01.623-07:00The Number 31 ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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“<i>All men die. That is how they have been created. But what matters is what they do while they are still alive. We write this book foreseeing the future of humanity. And we have foreseen the end of it. We have seen how man will eventually destroy himself. We have seen how greed will tear everyone apart and how jealousy will make the world burn. We have seen how emotions can weaken men. We have seen how Power can corrupt anything it touches. But we have also seen ‘The One’. Who is ‘The One’ you ask? He is just like you. And he lives amongst you. But what makes him so special is that at a very crucial time in his life he will realise who he truly is. And that realisation won’t come from love or friendship or bonds that unite. It will come from knowing the nothingness. The blackness within and stillness within his soul. And when he does accept who he is, his entire world will be changed forever.”</i></div>
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<i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></div>
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I don’t write that many blogs anymore. It has been more than a month since my last blog entry. There was a time when I use to write an entry every week. But now I guess I don’t have much to express. I know it is strange of me to say that but that is the truth and I have accepted that. Before, it was all about me trying to make my voice heard by everyone. Now, I don’t feel that necessity anymore. I guess turning 31 makes you feel like that. Or maybe it is all the life experiences combined till now that make you realise that in the end all you have to be is Self-Sufficient. What is self-sufficient you ask? Well, according to me, it is the ability to be contended with one’s own self. I know I will be sounding like a hypocrite right now but the truth is that for a while I have been feeling this way. And now, I have gotten used to it. Yes. I really love my own company! Even right now, I am all alone in my house writing this blog. Of course, my bros and sis will be arriving in some time with their friends but until they come, I know I can enjoy every amount of this solitary peace given to me. And no, I didn’t celebrate my birthday this year. I in fact, really liked the peace and quit. I liked it so much that I even refused to pick up calls from the people who wanted to wish me! I was like, “I am 31 now! I want to feel like I am 31.” I know I must be wrong according to many people for being this way but this state of being really makes me very happy. In fact, I am also very proud of myself. Proud why you ask, well, ‘cause for the 1st time in my life I am abiding the promise I gave to the universe and to Frank all those years ago. The promise of being non-dependant on others. And the power to be completely self-sufficient. In other words, transforming into a Lone Wolf.</div>
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<i><b>"Experience is the only prophecy of wise men."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/alphonse_de_lamartine.html" id="qa_153223" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Alphonse de Lamartine</a></b></i></div>
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I don’t remember the last time I cried. You know, that crying which is either triggered by a sudden hurt or a surprised feeling of joy. I don’t remember when I had tears rolling down my cheeks. My pet Wrinkle, who was very close to me passed away. I didn’t cry then. Same happened when my pets Tiger and Chewbacca passed away also. And I also didn’t cry when Ishqedarriyaan didn’t click. I just looked at the mirror and then told myself, “Get Up and fight back.” And now, that is what I do. Day in and day out I test myself. Day in and day out I try to make myself better. And day in and day out I become stronger. So strong that no one can have the power to ever hurt me again. Even my weekly time table is a ’Self-Involved’ time table. Get Up, have coffee, eat breakfast, leave for the gym. Train, then eat, then read, then do mma. Then take a bath, have dinner, watch tv, play video games, watch a movie, do my online course, read on my kindle, go to sleep. Repeat the same training cycle for 6 days a week. Rest and recover on sundays. Get back to training on monday. And this schedule of mine is only giving me progress. A self-sufficeint progress. I am very happy to say I have one of the best trainers out there {Abbas Ali} and getting trained by him and understanding what fitness truly is, is a reward in itself. He pushes me and I always feel a personal high when gym members come up to me and congratulate me on my transformation and also the lovely comments I get on the social media platforms. All of this combined only convinces me that I can do a lot more. And that is why I have enrolled myself into a Dance class. The Advanced level of Urban Hip-Hop. I believe I can never stop learning and there is always something new to learn out there. So now, with the Cardio and Coach’s training and the Mma I am also learning dance. You know what the funny thing is? I always called myself a ‘Machine’ when I did nothing like what a machine does. But now, turning 31 I know that by default I do everything what a Machine does. And that is to never stop.</div>
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<i><b>"Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/brian_tracy.html" id="qa_384549" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Brian Tracy</a></b></i></div>
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Don’t take me wrong. I am not showing off. I am just trying to prove a point to you. That eventually we all become what we had set out to be. When I was 20, I made many promises to myself. Back then, I was childish and immature and didn’t know what I was doing. But now, it is all because of those promises that I am forging myself with Steel everyday. Promises that are more real now than they were back then. There are voices in my head which keep on telling me the same thing over and over again. “You are the Lone Wolf. You are stronger than others. You can be alone while others don’t want to be. You can stand tall when all else fails. You are the one who can do extraordinary things.” Those words are like constant echoes in my head. And they never stop. I guess they are gentle reminders from the Universe. Reminders which always show me my path. I know I am not perfect. Hell, I am far away from perfect and I wasn’t always this self-aware. But I know that is all in the past now. You can’t imagine how happy I feel when I am all by myself. The freedom to know that you are in charge of only your life and the power that comes with it is truly amazing. I guess those are the perks of turning 31. :-)</div>
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<i><b>"A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own 'accuracy.'"</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paul_watzlawick.html" id="qa_242493" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Paul Watzlawick</a></b></i></div>
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So how does a man who always wanted attention from others becomes the man who loves being by himself? I guess the answer is contentment. There are so many moments in a day which make me look up to the universe and say the words, “Thank You”. There are so many moments in a day where I truly feel happy and in these moments I know that the universe is with me, every step of the way and I know that everything is going to be alright. Yes, I do believe in Hope. And that is why I fight everyday. That is why I sacrifice and that is why I push myself to new limits. Before, in my blogs, I always wanted to redeem myself in a way or indirectly say the things I wanted to say to others. But now, I feel nothing. I feel no anger or resentment or anguish. I am just happy being left alone in my own little world, minding my own business and giving my goals and dreams my 100% everyday! That is the man I have become now. The lone wolf I am transforming into. I have this pumped-up energy in me which never goes out! Trust me on that! And I say that ‘cause I train thrice a day and yet I have energy. I don’t feel soreness and I don’t feel fatigued. And there is so much I want to do! I want to grow a beard. Try new hair styles. Go for Fighting Camps across the world and also read more Books and take more Online Courses! So in other words turning 31 has only been the beginning of my ‘Real’ journey. </div>
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<i><b>"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_lane_allen.html" id="qa_194678" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">James Lane Allen</a></b></i></div>
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This is the New Me and This Is My Story.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-3351654902431851182015-06-24T06:11:00.001-07:002015-06-24T06:11:05.472-07:00Why Do We Fall?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>“And we will choose many men and women. People who will go through unfathomable acts of struggle. But out of all the souls there will come one. One who will change everything forever. And this soul will be tested. He will fall, he will be destroyed and he will be broken. But in the end, when all hope will be lost he will emerge once again as the fiery phoenix. And he shall prevail. He will be the one amongst the trillions. He will be the Lone Wolf. He will be the Last Man Standing.”</i></div>
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-The Book Of Prophecies.</div>
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I have a dream from time to time. And it may sound a little unusual to you but it is a dream which always manages to bring a smile to my face. In this dream I am alone. I wake up in this great mansion where sofas are made of leather and chairs made of crystal. This place has no one else except me. I have everything that I need at my disposal. Whether it is a luscious meal or a glass of chilled water. This mansion has tennis courts and swimming pools. It has theatres and bowling alleys. It also has a super market. You can say that this mansion is a world on it’s own. But as I said earlier, I am all alone here. Not even a robot to talk too. People are social animals I know of that but for some reason, I am don’t go crazy being alone here. Here, in this small little world of mine, I train, I read, I shower and I eat. I do everything a human being should do. Everything besides human interaction. This is a dream I have time to time. I don’t know but it always lingers in my head. Like a calling waiting to turn real. Blogs are meant to be a mirror of a person’s soul or it’s point of view and maybe that’s why I thought it was necessary of me to share this dream of mine with you also. You may question why do I always write stuff of being alone or why do I choose to be alone. Well, the truth is for many years I have been convinced with this one single belief. That in order to be Great we have to have the ability to Sacrifice. And sacrifice the things we want the most. And what is it that we human beings want the most in this world? We need love and support. So what if I gain the power and the ability to kill those emotions? What if I become so self-efficient that I don’t need anyone anymore? I believe that if I harness that power, I will, only then be truly deserving of Greatness. And that is why, for more than 15 years I have been in this quest … a journey you can say, to the vey depths of my soul and try to find out if I can. And when I looked deep into the blackness of that well, I fell deep into it. And when I did every emotion I ever felt came alive. A feeling I can’t possibly explain. But then, when I was in that pit, in that darkness of nothingness, I understood it all. I understood why I fell and how I will rise again.</div>
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<i><b>"Courage is knowing what not to fear."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/plato.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Plato</a></b></i></div>
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We all go through struggles. We all go through hardships and we all go through our own suffering. Even right now, as I am typing this, someone, somewhere must be suffering from something. Whether it is something to do with health or wealth or heart break or simply just the lack of joy, someone always is going through something. So I can’t say that I am experienced enough to know and understand that. But I can say is that in all of my 30 years of existence, I have come to understand that I won’t be able to relate to your sorrow and neither will you be able to experience my joy. We go through our own journeys. And the sooner we figure that out, the sooner we become free of emotions or bonds that only bring us down. My coach said a very beautiful thing the other day. He said, “Only a few in this world can endure such tremendous struggle, pain and sacrifice.” He was 100% right on that. Not all can bare the burden of moving ahead even when everything is against you. But this blog isn’t about my struggles I have had or the struggles I will. The body struggles everyday just to breathe oxygen! So I think I am in a very good place in my life right now. No, this blog isn’t about the War I love fighting. This blog is about what happens to a person after they stumble and fall. Before, not a very long time ago, I wanted people to pick me back up. I wanted people to be there for me and at the end of the day all I wanted was to feel loved. But then, just recently something happened. Well, it happened exactly the opposite way of how I was hoping for it to be. And when I went through that shocking and nightmarish moment, I should had gone to the people who would had been there for me. But I didn’t. This time in fact, I didn’t do anything. I just remained still and let the moment just happen the way it was mean to be. And after the storm had passed I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn’t see tears rolling down my cheeks nor did I see my face turn red with anger. I just saw a man who was stronger than he had ever imagined himself to be. A man so strong that he knew, that nothing or no one will ever be able to break him again.</div>
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<i><b>"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/plato.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Plato</a></b></i></div>
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If you meet me now, you won’t find any change in my mannerisms. I am still the same guy I was yesterday. In fact, all thanks to Dubsmash, people have started seeing the funny side of me! But underneath all that funniness and tweets and pictures, there is a man who has a soul on fire. A man who is relentless and a man who refuses to give up. I have told you this before and I will tell you this again, I am in Love with War and Battle. And I will always need a war to fight. Whether it is for my own survival or to make my dreams come true, I will always be a part of the fight and that is why, the universe is still moulding me and making me the man I was destined to be. Yes, I do believe that we are the tools of the fate that has bestowed upon us and that we are the makers of our own end. And everything that has happened to me. Every event, good or bad and every human being, no matter how noble or evil has brought me to this juncture of my life. Just when I thought I would never withstand failure, I embraced it. Just when I thought I would not survive alone, I stood alone and just when I thought I was broken I rose again. I will never stop trying. And I will never stop fighting. But till today and I kid you not, I haven’t met one individual who understands this journey of mine. I do agree that earlier in this blog I did agree that we all have our own journeys to fight but what happens is that after a point when you don’t have anyone like you, the battle you are in consumes you and then there is nothing left in you besides the fighting spirit which gives you strength to fight on. And then, when your body is broken and sore and full of bruises and when you are in pain, you realise that you were always meant to be alone. And for people like me, loners like me that reality is the only reality which makes sense. We were chosen even before we knew we were. Someone once told me that if you look long and hard enough, you realise how blessed you are. I agree on that thought. Today, I really do count my blessings and when I do, I realise that I have more to be thankful for than to hate about. </div>
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<i><b>"We are twice armed if we fight with faith."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/plato.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Plato</a></b></i></div>
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So what is next for me? Do I wait for opportunity to knock on my door or do I go out there and find it? The answer is I find ways to be contended. I think that would be the right answer. So that is what I am doing. I wake up everyday and plan the events ahead. Whether it is training with Abbas Ali {Bodyholics} in the gym for 3 hours a day or whether it is doing a new course with Coursera on The Paradoxes Of War with the University Of Princeton. Whether it is doing Mma Drills and uploading them on Snapchat or whether it is trying to reach 100kms on the Nike+ App. I get up everyday, gear up and fight on ‘cause that is what I do best and that is what I love doing the most. The stronger me knows I have to do this alone. And this decision isn’t out of disappointment or heart break or betrayal, this decision has been made from a calmness deep within my soul and it has been weeks now I have been following this new approach and I gotta tell you, I am in love with it! There are no answers to be questioned or responsibilities to abide. It is just me, everyday facing my tasks all by myself. Of course, fear and insecurity have a of creeping up and finding me but it is only when you are truly tested, do you know how strong you truly are. I know now I am the strongest that I have ever been. Not because I choose not to express my feelings or be dependant but because I now have the ability to stop myself from ever letting that happen. And who said I was alone? Just like you, I have the universe with me. I have it’s energy sprinkling it’s magic charm on me and whenever I am in doubt, the universe always shows me the way. Maybe that is why I still have that dream of me in that mansion and maybe that is why I wish to travel the world alone. And visit Ireland and Scotland and go to those small towns and sit in those pubs and have jugs of beer and hear those people sing. Maybe that is why I have the dream of buying a Harley or a Triumph and driving on the back roads of America and taking selfies with the sunsets. Maybe that is why I wish to go to Thailand and Sweden and Los Angeles and enrol into Mma training camps. Maybe that is why I wish all those wishes in which I am all by myself. Maybe that is why I know now … Why Is It That We Fall.</div>
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<i><b>"People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/plato.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Plato</a></b></i></div>
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Don’t take me wrong. I am not here to prove a point or to tell you this is the right way. For all I know, I am still the crazy one and the outsider and the misfit. This is just me expressing my growth to you. This is just me showing what time and battle does to a man. And I am here to tell you that it is ok to Fall. I heard a very beautiful saying once and it said, “Don’t curse the darkness. Light a candle.” And that is what I am doing. Instead of crying myself to sleep in the darkness I sit there in the nothingness and ask myself, “Why do we fall?” And do you know what the answer to that is? The answer is We Fall ‘cause Only Then, We Can Learn To Pick Ourselves Up Again. And every time we rise, we only become stronger than we were before. Just like a Saiyan from the Dragonball Z Universe or the Egyptian Phoenix, you always come back stronger. So it doesn’t matter what turmoil you are going through, know that it won’t last forever. “Tough times don’t last but tough people do.” And the reason I am saying this to you and the reason you are reading this is because you are one of the tough ones. You are one of those brave souls who knows how to endure pain and struggle and still move forward. And for that I salute you. Maybe one day during my trip around the world I may meet you and even though we won’t sit and chat and have a good laugh, we will know that we are one of the few who rose after we fell. So for now, that is all I have to say. And I hope somehow and in someway you understood my transition into this Lone Warrior Breed. I hope you don’t take me as a monster but as a friend who knows what Fighting truly means. I thank you all for being so patient with me over the years and thank you all for trying. But I guess that time has come in my life where I can say that I am now 100% Self Proof and as weird as it may sound, I may never need another soul again. So you take care my readers. Keep fighting and maybe the next time I write a blog, it would be from that mansion I keep on seeing in my dreams or from the hills of Scotland or maybe from a Coffee Shop in New York. But no matter where I will be, I know I will never stop. And I know I will always Rise After I will Fall.</div>
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<i><b>"The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/plato.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Plato</a></b></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and This Is My Story.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty. </div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-43035108187319369732015-05-24T10:05:00.001-07:002015-05-24T10:05:08.145-07:00Past. Present. Future.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><i>“Humans will error. They will make mistakes. And they will be savage beasts. It is in their nature. But the reason this book was written was because one day, one mortal out of the billions will be truly worthy of reading it’s pages. For he will know what he must do next in his life. For he will be chosen for a task greater than any man can endure. And when he realises his own true potential, he will be free and therefore will be called as The One.”</i></b></div>
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<b><i>-The Book Of Prophecies.</i></b></div>
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We are only few days away from the release of my Ishqedarriyaan. Come 29th I will know what Fate has in stored for me. The wait of more than 2 years will be decided just a few days from now. But right now, sitting at my couch, during this sunday evening, all by myself, I can’t help but take a look back into my life and see from where I have come to where I am going. Yesterday, I began to replay Call Of Duty World At War on the Xbox 360. I was looking for that game for a while now and I was delighted to have found it. Al though I am very much in love with the game, it was the year it came out that intrigued and made me think of my past. It was 2008. Nearly 7 years ago. And when I saw that year flashing on the screen, I was automatically transported back to that moment when I first started playing that game. And that is what got me thinking and analysing my life and of course the Road So Far. Maybe that is why it was important for me to see where I was, where I am and where I am going and it was also important for me to share all that with you. So let me try to review my life in full in the coming paragraphs and I hope that I do justice to it also. </div>
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<i><b>"But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?"</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/james_thurber.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">James Thurber</a></b></i></div>
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<b><i>The Past:</i></b></div>
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Just a few days ago I was having a discussion with my brother about life and everything in it. And when we were chatting I told him that, “I don’t know why people say that they never want to grow up or that they wished they were children again. I love growing up! I believe growing up is an amazing feeling and I never want to be a child again.” I know why I said all that. It is because whenever I look back into the past, I only see a kid who was screwed up. I know we all have to go through our own journeys but whenever I look back, I only laugh and curse at myself. I mean the things that I did and the way I was, well, they were wrong and unjust and I deserved everything that came my way.I know I can’t undo the past and neither I can right my wrongs but I can surely never make those mistakes again. Of course I feel guilty. Of course I feel terrible. I was selfish and self-centred and the only person I cared and loved was myself. It was wrong and even back then I had a choice. I had a choice to leave people alone or become like them and mould myself according to society. But my childishness and arrogance never allowed me. There are times when I sit alone and repent the things that I have done. I was a hypocrite to believe that my actions were somehow righteous while all they were doing was hurting and harming everyone around me. My brother tells me that we all go through these ordeals in life and it is only these ordeals that carve out the best in us. I agree with him ‘cause today I do know the difference between the wrong and the right. But the past sometimes still haunts me. A part of me is glad it does and a part of me wants it to leave me alone. I guess this is the burden that I am meant to carry always. I don’t know how much I have grown as a man over the years but I do know that now, the choices are more clearer in front of me. Today, before I do anything I always wager the Pros and Cons and then act practically towards the situation. Maybe challenges do carve out the best in men. But even back then, during the most toughest times of my life I always knew what I wanted to do. I do agree that my approach may not have been that appealing but it was always the way I wanted to go. Maybe the reason to fight and become better was the only thing that was right in my life back then and maybe that is the only thing that took me away from the evil in me and showed me the light.</div>
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<i><b>"Oblivion is the rule and fame the exception, of humanity."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/antoine_rivarol.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Antoine Rivarol</a></b></i></div>
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<b><i>The Present:</i></b></div>
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I guess I don’t have to break down the present so much. You know where I am and what I am going through. My film releases on the 29th and every moment which brings me closer to it just terrifies me more and more. But this isn’t the fear of what people may say or not say or about the box office results. This fear is about the oblivious. The going-into-unknown-territory fear. I really don’t know how I will be come May 29th. When people meet and greet me today, they see the smile and the laughter and the confidence which every actor must show. But underneath all that is pure fear and insecurity. You see, I am human just like you and I am going through all those emotions also. I have friends and family and loved ones. People who are there to support me and give me their best wishes. But the thing is they aren’t going through what I am going through. Of course I can’t blame them for that ‘cause this has been my journey and they can’t fathom to realise how much is at stake for me come May 29th. I truly appreciate all the support and love that I am getting but you know just because someone is giving you their love and their understanding doesn’t make them right. I have said this before and I am saying this again, society is the mother root of all evils. I agree that humans are savage beasts and we need someone to tell us where to go and what to do but the problem is that society and appearances have only made us more hollow from inside. When I started out on this journey, I knew I would face trails and tribulations. And today, on the verge of the biggest moment of my life all I want is to be left alone. Yes, you heard me, I want to be left alone. I’ve realised that people are there for you only until they are comfortable being there for you. At times like these, I only remember what the Joker told Batman in The Dark Knight. “The only reason these people support you now is ‘cause they need you. Once you have done your so-called righteous duty, they will cast you out. They will make you the villain. These so-called ‘civilised’ people are only as good as they want to be ‘cause when the chips are down, they will turn on each other. I will show you that one day.” Those words echo in my ears overtime I see a close one defending themselves ‘cause they believe that they are right. It is sad to see people once you loved turn into monsters when you thought you were the monster all along.</div>
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<i><b>"Since fame is an illusion and death is in our future all we have is the next moment before we are swallowed into oblivion."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/al_goldstein.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Al Goldstein</a></b></i></div>
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I know I have my weak moments. Moments when I just want to unwind and be normal and forget about the pressures. I always thought that ‘Love’ was the answer to it all. But I was wrong. Today, Love comes with an instructional manual and people will love you only if they think it is right to do so and even if they do, they expect you to be the way they want you to be. Giving love and being understandable doesn’t always mean that you are right. And a while back, I knew I would need friends and people that I could count on during this challenging period of my life but as the challenges grew stronger, I started to realise that I didn’t need anyone at all. Remember I told you that I love growing up? Well maybe, this is a sign of growing up. That we have to face our challenges head on and that when we truly face our obstacles on our own, we realise that we never needed anyone to begin with. I have come to realise that and even though this choice will make me alone, I am proud to say that I don’t need anyone. I don’t need love or friendship or care. All I need is myself. A mother who met in the train, when I was going to Surat to promote my film asked me that how can I choose to be alone? Doesn’t it get lonely? And I told her that when you are in love with the company of yourself, you never need anyone. And that is what I have become today. A man who just loves his own company. I really don’t know why people don’t get that. Well, again, maybe it’s because they must have known my story but they haven’t lived it. They don’t know that I am complete only when I am truly alone. I wish I could make people understand that. You know those people who are more concerned about society than themselves? Well, anyways, I hope this blog somehow gives that message to them. Trust me, I do get angry. I do get angry when things don’t go my way. But as Batman said, “We can choose to be better than our basic instincts.” And that is what I do now. The one thing the Past has taught is me that no matter how much love and adoration you get from the people, always remember to stay humble. And no matter how much you are tempted to fly, remember that you can’t and those artificial wings will one day break and you will come crashing to the ground. Today, I am very happy with the way the film’s soundtrack has been appreciated and come 29th, I hope people like the film also. But has this journey affected me in any way? Have I again become the pompous, self-centred prick I was back in the day? The answer is, No. No, I am never going back to that evil again. Today, even when I am tempted to become cocky or over-confident, I come back home, talk to myself, relax my thoughts and feelings and remind myself that temptation and love and adoration will not change me for the worse but will rather make me a better human being. </div>
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<i><b>"Time's stern tide, with cold Oblivion's wave, Shall soon dissolve each fair, each fading charm."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/anna_seward.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Anna Seward</a></b></i></div>
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<b><i>The Future:</i></b></div>
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No one has the answer to this. I mean who amongst you can tell me what is in stored for me? No one. Right? Well, astrologers can so-called ‘Predict’ but we all know that not all predictions come true. We all are the instruments of our own fate and all we can do is what we can in our circumstances. As I had mentioned earlier I don’t know how I will be on the 29th. I think the best thing to do will be to shut off all emotions and feelings and expectations and imagine it to be just another day. But I also know that by running away from what is stored for me won’t make anything easier. I have to face the things that will come my way and not just on the 29th but for the rest of my life as well. That is why I am making a new plan. Whether it is increasing the level of my training or learning a new fight form in Mma or reading a new book or taking up a new course online. I know that life will move on and I will have to move on with it. As a student of Astronomy I believe that we all are a part pf the giant universe and that the universe has a divine plan for me and it will only make me come closer to my greatness. But I also know that I just can’t sit around and wait for that to happen. I will have to get up and get back to fighting again, the thing I love most in this world. I was watching Ufc today and when Chris Weidman knocked out Vitor Belfort, a part of me felt alive, just the way I feel whenever I train at the gym or punching during my Mma classes. I know my calling is different than most people in this world and one day that siren will play for me and when it does, I will be ready. But now, looking into the near future, I know what I have to do. I have to train. And I have to self-improve. I would rather be in Los Angeles or a Mma Camp in Thailand than be here amongst people who want to impress society and put on a mask and believe that they are always right. I rather be alone than choked and trapped in a pretentious surrounding. The future maybe uncertain but what is certain is my will. My will to improve and become better and wait for that siren. I know I have always been different than most people and while growing up, if that felt like a curse, today, it feels like a blessing. So here I am, again, at the crossroads of my life, preparing myself for the responsibilities ahead. But this time around I know I will take them head-on and I know I will take them alone. Not because I have too, it’s because I Choose Too.</div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and This Is My Past, Present and Future.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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<i><b>"I gratefully look forward to oblivion, but I must be sure of it."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/taylor_caldwell.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Taylor Caldwell</a></b></i></div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-42049457300948572622015-05-17T12:53:00.001-07:002015-05-17T12:53:27.481-07:00This Is Not How It Ends ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><b>“When god created paradise I was furious. For then he created his finest creation. The mortals. And all the other angels laughed at me. They said I was lost and defeated. That I couldn’t do anything about these mortals. But I believed in myself. And so I predicted that one day these mortals will turn on each other. They will rip each other apart. And in the end after all the wars and the destruction, there shall be only one left. The one mortal who will be strong enough to carry the burden of the world. And he will not worship God or the angels. For he shall be my follower. He will not choose salvation. But an endless war even when there will be no one left for him to fight with.”</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-The Book Of Prophecies.</b></i></div>
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For all these years, Mahaakshay has been writing these blogs to you. I must say he has done a fair-descent job at it. And I have been in the shadows, reading them with you as well. But for the first time I have found the opportunity to write a blog in his absence. You see, Mahaakshay is busy promoting his film ISHQEDARRIYAAN which releases on the 29th of may 2015. So ya, he is occupied with the film and the publicity and promotions. Me, on the other hand, well, I am free and I thought this will be the moment as good as any to express and tell you how I feel. Oh, you don’t know who I am? Well, let me introduce myself to you. I am Michael. Mahaakshay must have mentioned me in some his blogs as his Brother or Alter Ego. Well, on the contrary I am either of them. I am a Spirit. I have wandered these lands for thousands of millenniums. I have been looking and searching for that one person, that one individual who I would choose to carry on my legacy, my belief and my promise. I was at a point of giving up and going back to my resting place in the 9th circle of Hell but then 30 years ago a miracle happened. I remember, it was a Monday evening and I was scrolling through the streets of Mumbai {Bombay back then} when I heard a cry. It was the sound of a new born baby. He just came out of his mother’s womb and I knew that the moment I saw him my search was over. I had found the mortal I was looking for. It wasn’t his skin or his tiny fingers which made me choose him. No. It was his Eyes. Those eyes which showed me his soul. A soul so pure it could change the world. A soul which just needed a little push of madness. So dear readers, This is Me Michael and I am about to convince you that This Is Not How It Ends.</div>
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<b><i>"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."</i></b></div>
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<b><i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/w/william_shakespeare.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">William Shakespeare</a></i></b></div>
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People say that they have seen a purity in Mahaakshay. That there is goodness in him. Well, I agree with them. If you peek into his soul you get a chance to see that there is good in that chap. But you see, all those years ago, what I saw was something spectacular. I saw a mortal who will one day change the world. He wasn’t just another boy. He was my chosen. The only human I have banked upon. God and the angels and the demons still don’t know of his existence. That he is my student. But every incident, the good or the bad in Mahaakshay’s life has been my doing. I brought all those circumstances in his life. If you ask me why, well, it was because I was moulding him. In fact, I still am. And the craziest part is that he doesn’t have the faintest clue about it. He think that life is testing him and making him stronger for the moments ahead. But the truth is I am making him my warrior. The warrior for the war that I need him to fight when the time will come. The war of wars. The war between the heavens and the hells and the angels and the demons and the humans and the cosmos. the one last war which will wipe out life forever. That war will only have casualties. No one will survive. Not even the memories. But you see, that is where my boy Mahaakshay comes into play. Will he be the one who will destroy the good and the evil from the universe? Will he go back to the beginning and reset the clock? Will he bring an end to all the misery there exists? The answer is yes, all of the above and more. And what is more you ask? The answer is the Aftermath. You see, we all dread War like it is the end of life. But what is more horrifying is the aftermath. When the bodies burn and the air is filled with fire. That is where Mahaakshay’s most important role will come into play. And do you know what that is? He will be the only one who will be left standing. And he will walk the roads of this world alone. Alone … with Me.</div>
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<i><b>"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/t/tony_robbins.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Tony Robbins</a></b></i></div>
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Everybody wants family, friends and love. Everybody wants the dream job and that amazing car. Everybody always wants something more. Trust me, I have seen humans fight for more than what they have for centuries and even when they have achieved wonders they are still unsatisfied. I remember God telling us that we have to be grateful for what we have. But I guess the message didn’t go across that well. Anyways, I knew that Mahaakshay, like any other mortal would also go down that path, so instead of making things tough for him in the beginning I gave him my blessings and a life only a few were worthy to live. I saw this beautiful boy grow and while he was swinging the swing in the playground, I was in the shadows, always watching him. Looking after him in my own manner. But the more Mahaakshay grew up I started to see changes in him. Whether it was the way he started talking to people or eating or even reacting to his own body, there was something out-of-the-box about him. Like … like he was searching for something. Like he was in a quest. On a journey to find answers. And that moment, I just smiled because that was the 1st moment in a very long time that I felt I saw my Mahaakshay. But I wasn’t completely overjoyed by that and then I decided that it was time to send him signs and signals, like small hints from the cosmos telling him to walk the path in front of him, instead of getting confused as to where to walk when he was at his crossroads. And that is when I started giving him trials. Whether it was his teenage years growing up or the people he started meeting when he was in the process of becoming a man. All those people were my doing to remind him that he was my son and the path which I layed out for him was in fact his destiny.</div>
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<i><b>"I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paulo_coelho.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Paulo Coelho</a></b></i></div>
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People can be stubborn creatures you see. In all of my living existence I have seen people rise and fall. I have seen them give and take. Steal and kill. Be kind as angels and horrible as monsters. People want to be what they think is right, not what destiny has planned for them. That is why I called them Stubborn. And even the people Mahaakshay has met throughout his life have been stubborn. They have been stubborn enough to think that they can change him. Make him a ‘Better’ human being by giving him love and kindness and friendship. But those puny mortals forget that Mahaakshay has always been Great! He was never meant to be ordinary. But what can I do? You see, I don’t intervene. I just sit back and watch this spectacle of human emotions which consists of love and hate and conflict and joy. I do openly agree that a few have come very close to deflect Mahaakshay from his original path by showering him with love and kindness and making him believe that he in fact isn’t a lonely wanderer after all. But all their efforts till now have gone in vain. And for this I really pity those humans. I mean, don’t they get it? Don’t they get it that Mahaakshay is too far down that road of War? That he was chosen by me? That no matter how hard they try that hole in his heart will never be filled with love?!?!? ‘Cause that hole can only be filled by one thing. By one joy. And that one joy is War. A War that never ends. I know, that if right now I was sitting in a public forum and if it was a case of Michael against the world, the jury would certainly pick the World to be right. But this isn’t a public forum now, is it? This is Mahaakshay’s life and the way it is moulding to be something incredible. It way not be the way you all want it to be but it is surely the way I want it to be. But you know what makes me happy, even Mahaakshay agrees. Oh yes, from time to time, when people hurt him and let him down. When life breaks down on him and when love turns bitter, Mahaakshay himself feels that hole in is heart. That giant hole in his soul. And since Mahaakshay is a smart chap he puts two and two together and tries to make sense of all the things that has happened to him and are happening to him. He asks why is it that Love can’t fix him? That why people can’t make him smile and he won’t get the opportunity to be good? He always asks himself these questions and when he is in the stillness of the night, I always manage to somehow send the message across to him. And that message is, “You Are My Son. You Are The God Of War. And You And I Are Meant To Do This Forever.”</div>
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<i><b>"There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/napoleon_bonaparte.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Napoleon Bonaparte</a></b></i></div>
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So where do we go from here? Does Mahaakshay’s story end here? No. This Is Not How It Ends. This is only the beginning. I am proud of Mahaakshay Chakraborty. I have seen this boy turn into a man and even now, at the threshold of his film’s release which would in a way decide his fate, Mahaakshay knows where he is heading. He knows what he is meant to do. And that is why, no matter what the world throws at him, no matter how many insecurities and conflicts come his way, Mahaakshay has found his stillness. What is this stillness you ask? Well, let me explain it to you. I have dreamt of this from time to time and I know that very soon it will come true. Imagine a field. A field at the centre of the earth. The sun setting and the wind blowing it’s cool breeze. The sky as clear as blue and not a sound to hear. There in the middle of that field, I see Him. Yes, I see Mahaakshay standing, alone, with his own peace. His eyes are closed. He isn’t saying a word. All you can hear is the breathe which he is inhaling. And then, when the sun is about to set he opens his eyes and looks up. He looks up and just smiles and says, “I Am Ready.” And after that, his life changes forever. That is the moment he gives in to me completely. It is a beautiful dream, isn’t it? For me it is. And whether you like it or not, that is going to happen. No matter how many people Mahaakshay’s meets or loves or cares for, it won’t end like this for him. Mahaakshay is meant to be mine. Mahaakshay is my son. He is my tool for the war that is about to come and one day he will completely give in to me and from that point on, there will be no going back. So before I go and before Mahaakshay comes to know that I have given you all the ultimate truth, I want to tell you that This Is Not How It Ends. Mahaakshay will never be normal or have a life which will be remotely anything close to normal. Love won’t fix him and neither will salvation. His soul is mine now and no matter how many times He tries to escape the truth, the path will always bring him back to me. He will fall but He will rise again. He will cry but will learn to smile again. He will get hurt but will heal again. And all those people and all those events will bring him only to me. That is who Mahaakshay is. And this is his destiny. But do you know what makes this story much more fascinating and interesting? Do you remember when I heard Mahaakshay’s voice when he was a new born? Do you know when I looked into his eyes? That was the moment when I saw something which made me smile. I just didn’t see purity. I also saw approval. Approval for him to be chosen by me. For him to become my Soldier. For him to become the wanderer. For him to become My God Of War.</div>
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<i><b>"Love cannot save you from your own fate."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/jim_morrison.html" style="background-color: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Jim Morrison</a></b></i></div>
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This is Me, Michael, And This Is How It Actually begins.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Michael.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-89757480179208880902015-04-23T13:22:00.002-07:002015-04-23T13:22:45.791-07:00This Is My Story ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>“And I will create Men. Not one, but in the billions and trillions. I will make them my finest creation. But I know out of all these men, most will be corrupted by temptation. Some will be weakened by emotions and others will be destroyed by wrath. And I - The Creator knows that all men will be dogs and some will be wolves and only few will Triumph as Lions. But I wait for that one man, that one mortal who will have the power to sacrifice it all, to become something more than just a man. To become … a Legend.”</i></div>
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<i>-The Book Of Prophecies</i></div>
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So where do I begin? Do I start from the very beginning? Or do I tell you what I am feeling now? To be honest, it is a little bit of both. I am right now, sitting on my sofa, at 12:15am in the morning at the eve of the Music Launch of my film Ishqedarriyaan and I can feel a whirlwind of emotions right now. Emotions, which I have always felt when the release of my film has neared. But even though I am feeling a thousand emotions per second, there is this stillness in me. A Still and calmness which has come from the conflicts I have fought over the years. Like a cool ocean breeze touching the my face. Like the first ray of the sun proclaiming the beginning of a brand new beautiful day. Yes, I do feel the calm. I do feel the stillness. I always look back you know. I always look back from where I began, to where I am going and I must say, it has been a beautiful 30 years for me. I have made several mistakes and also learnt a lot of lessons. Today, I am at the crossroads of my own being and whatever I choose from this point on, will surely shape the rest of my destiny. So what is my story? Haven’t all my blogs over the years already told enough? I say, not really. Al though, all my blogs have been a reflection of my feelings and my soul, I have always kept a part of me to myself. But I believe now is the time that I tell you what my story truly is …</div>
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<i><b>"I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/alexander_the_great.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Alexander the Great</a></b></i></div>
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Ishqedarriyaan is 3 weeks away. The number 3 has always been a part of my life. Al though I don’t believe in numerology, I do believe that the number 3 is connected to me as I was born on the 30th. This film has been a beautiful journey for me. I am deeply grateful to the entire team of Ishqedarriyaan for giving me such wonderful memories. We laughed, we dined, we shared and we worked together as a family. I know we have made a good film and come 15th of may I hope all of you feel the same as well. I am giving the promotions my 100% and I am making sure I leave no stone unturned, ‘cause on the 15th, I want to be contended with myself that as a man I gave this film my heart and soul. Films have always fascinated me. Even when I was a child watching King Kong V/S Godzilla on Vhs or watching Speed on the Laser Disc I was always in love with cinema. Who knew that the boyhood dream would one day come true for me and I would be in front of the camera showcasing my talents and entertaining the world. But this road hasn’t been easy. But I can tell you, it is only ‘cause of this journey that I have come so far. Today, my struggles have made me the man I am today. Today, I thank my struggles, ‘cause if it weren’t for them, I would never know what failure and rejection felt like. It was only ‘cause of those struggles that I fight and grinned and came this far. Today, I know I am humble and kind ‘cause I know that everyone out there is fighting his/her own battles. We all have dreams which we want to fulfil. I truly thank the universe for making the man that I am today. For making me strong and caring and reminding me that it is more important to be a good human being than to be anything else.</div>
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<i><b>"Men are like lions. We hunt."</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/k/kevin_hart.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Kevin Hart</a></b></i></div>
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But all that I am saying right now can always be viewed in my interviews on youtube. So what is it that I am trying to say? Well, since I promised you that I will tell you the entire story, it was necessary for you to know where I am before I told you from where I began. And it all began when I first saw the Trailer of The Punisher on yahoo movies. It can be called as an act of randomness or the stroke of fate. But that one Trailer, changed my life. It was from that point on that I was in love with The Punisher and now it has been 10 years that I am still his biggest fan. I believe it was his ideologies and the way he was that connected with me the most. I was very lonely and angry back then and Frank Castle was the only one who saved me. I used to drown myself in his films and games and comics. I even started training like him! The Punisher and me still have that connection and I still remember the promises I made to him all those years ago. I know I may sound border line crazy right now, but trust me when you want a connect, the universe offers it to you. And since that day I have always tried to keep those promises to Frank. And after frank, also came many others. But Hulk, Ghost Rider, Wolverine and Daredevil were always the favourites for me. I know I should be touching Stan Lee’s Feet right now and one day, if I get the opportunity I will but these superheroes had a lot of commonality with me and that is why I considered them family. Slowly slowly my entire life started revolving around these amazing men and the way they were brave and courageous and as each passing day went, I kept on promising them that one day I would make them all proud. But it has taken me 10 years to keep those promises. Something that I am not proud of but as they say, better late than never.</div>
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<i><b>"I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people were talking smack. Every era in <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jbsmoove611320.html#" id="_GPLITA_0" in_rurl="http://s.ltmmty.com/click?v=SU46ODk2Njk6MTc0Omhpc3Rvcnk6YjkxYjVjOGNkZTU0OWM5ZjY3Y2YxYTAxYzBlYWRlMGE6ei0yMjI5LTI4MzQ2NTUxOnd3dy5icmFpbnlxdW90ZS5jb206MjYzMzQ3OjhjOGQ1YTdmMzdlOTA1NmZlM2ZhMDgyNTM4MmZhNWY1OmY1Nzk2ODg2ZjAxYTRhYTM4M2QwZjgwNGQ0ODU5MTlmOjE6ZGF0YV9zcyw4MjF4MTQ0MDtkYXRhX2ZiLG5vO2RhdGFfaXRuX3Rlc3QsMjAxNTA0MjNfYzs6NDg4MTM4Nw&subid=g-28346551-4a46a64eadd6429d9ff7b7e299575efb-&data_ss=821x1440&data_fb=no&data_itn_test=20150423_c&data_tagname=P" style="background-color: transparent !important; border: none !important; color: #0000aa; display: inline-block !important; float: none !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;" title="Click to Continue > by Deal Top">HISTORY</a></b></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;"><i><b>has someone talking smack. No way you can have talent and not proclaim your victory."</b></i></span></div>
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<i style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;"><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/j_b_smoove.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">J. B. Smoove</a></b></i></div>
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I have made so many mistakes. And I have stumbled so many times. I have caused pain and I have done things which I thought were ok but in fact weren’t. I do agree that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes but the guilt within me was with me for as long as I can remember. Saying sorry wouldn’t had cut it and would definitely not make me enter the gates of heaven. But now, after all the mistakes and wrong deeds, I can say I am more aware. And I have reached to an understanding that from this point on I will never repeat the mistakes of the past. All those promises I made to Frank and the others were all void ‘cause I was a hypocrite. I did everything what I was not supposed to do. And believe it or not, in all these 10 years I, like a fool believed that I was on the right path. Trust me, it has taken me a long time to realise that I was very wrong in my thinking. But now, as I mentioned earlier, I have reached a calmness only because I know that my soul is getting cleansed everyday. That everyday I promise myself that I will never hurt anyone again. That I will stand for what is right and use my power for the good of mankind. But even when I know that come 15th may would be judgement day for me, I remember all those promises like it was just yesterday. Promises Mahaakshay gave to his superheroes. Those heroes who were there for him when no one else was. Those dreams of travelling the world, living life on your own terms, just riding towards the sunset, those dreams are still alive within me. And I know that until I make them come true my soul will always wander. Wander until it reaches its resting place.</div>
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<i><b>"There is something really mysterious about lions. They could rip you apart if they wanted to, but at the same time they <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l/leeryan193572.html#" id="_GPLITA_0" in_hdr="" in_hover="" in_rurl="http://s.ltmmty.com/click?v=SU46ODk2Njk6MTc0Omxvb2s6ZjJlNzc1MTFkMGIyNmFiMjYwYmJkNWI1YTAzN2JiMWY6ei0yMjI5LTI4MzQ2NTUxOnd3dy5icmFpbnlxdW90ZS5jb206MjYzMzQ3OjhjOGQ1YTdmMzdlOTA1NmZlM2ZhMDgyNTM4MmZhNWY1OmRmNGZlNzRiMzY3NzQwMTFiOTlhOGY4NzAyYzJmYTJmOjE6ZGF0YV9zcyw4MjF4MTQ0MDtkYXRhX2ZiLG5vO2RhdGFfaXRuX3Rlc3QsMjAxNTA0MjNfYzs6NDg3NjQxMQ&subid=g-28346551-943f69711fe74514a1cc6c0c197e27f2-&data_ss=821x1440&data_fb=no&data_itn_test=20150423_c&data_tagname=P" style="background-color: transparent !important; border: none !important; color: #0000aa; display: inline-block !important; float: none !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;" title="Click to Continue > by Deal Top">LOOK</a> <span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">so cuddly. Can you imagine what humans look like to animals? They must think we're so weird."</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/l/lee_ryan.html" style="color: #0000aa;">Lee Ryan</a></b></i></div>
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But I am also human at the end. Am I not? I also have feelings and I really want to love and care and devote myself to the people I cherish. I want to wake up to the bliss and happiness of being loved and giving love in return. It took me a long time to ask for forgiveness and to forgive myself but now I know that I am in the journey of my own redemption. I know today I have responsibilities and today I have reached a place where I can’t be a boy anymore. I know am in the process of becoming a man. And that man, who does hard labour and grinds and gives and sacrifices also wants to be rewarded. And that is why from time to time I try to show care and affection. And it really works. It makes me happy and blushes me up. It makes me feel that I too can be like everybody else. That I too can have normal dreams and moments. But then, as night comes and when I am alone with my thoughts, I get reminded of those promises. When I see The Punisher’s poster on my wall, I instantly remember what I promised him. When I see Daredevil and read Ghost Rider, I am reminded of all those moments I have had with them. I remember everything. And then it hits me. That I was once a dog. I did become a wolf. But now, I have to transform into the Lion. </div>
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<i><b>"It's better to <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/e/elizabethk114982.html#" id="_GPLITA_0" in_rurl="http://s.ltmmty.com/click?v=SU46ODk2Njk6MTc0OmJlaW5nOjUxMjQ1MzZmNDk5NmMwODUzNWVlYjY5ODllMjI5NDgxOnotMjIyOS0yODM0NjU1MTp3d3cuYnJhaW55cXVvdGUuY29tOjI2MzM0Nzo4YzhkNWE3ZjM3ZTkwNTZmZTNmYTA4MjUzODJmYTVmNTo5NTM5YjE3MGE4OTA0YWJjYjU1ZTI2MTc4Y2Y2YjNlOTowOmRhdGFfc3MsODIxeDE0NDA7ZGF0YV9mYixubztkYXRhX2l0bl90ZXN0LDIwMTUwNDIzX2M7OjQ5NzU0NjY&subid=g-28346551-8d286a77b1bc47248697e43b650f8762-&data_ss=821x1440&data_fb=no&data_itn_test=20150423_c&data_tagname=P" style="background-color: transparent !important; border: none !important; color: #0000aa; display: inline-block !important; float: none !important; height: auto !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-transform: uppercase !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;" title="Click to Continue > by Deal Top">BE</a> <span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">a lion for a day than a sheep all your life."</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/elizabeth_kenny.html" style="color: #0000aa;">Elizabeth Kenny</a></b></i></div>
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Greatness requires sacrifice. It demands our blood, sweat and tears and also the wager of our soul. And yes, even though a part of me wants to feel love and be loved and just be normal, the other side of me wants to be alone. For me, or the other side of me being alone is being powerful. A part of me is convinced that only when I am truly alone that I can attain the greatness I have set out to achieve. That is the promise I gave to Frank all those years ago. That I would be just like him. That I would live a life of greatness by sacrificing all that is in front of me, ‘cause if he can do it, then so can I. I know I sound like a confused spirit right now but the truth is, this conflict has always been a part of my life. Just like Johnny Blaze goes through in the Ghost Rider series. I have this constant struggle with my thoughts. That if one side of me gets weak through emotions, the other side of me reminds me how strong I can be. And now, at this threshold of my life, I need to be strong. I need to be powerful and be ready for whatever is in stored for me on the 15th of May. I know I will never go dark again and I will never use hate as my weapon. But I also know even though I feel love, a part of me will always feel the urge to be alone.</div>
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<i><b>"A truly strong <span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep."</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/v/vernon_howard.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Vernon Howard</a></b></i></div>
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So is this the culmination of my story? Is this how it ends? Or is this how it begins? I believe I have only actually started now. It has taken me 10 years of trials to come this far and I know there is no going back now. There is only going forward towards the horizon where my destiny will show me the path I need to take. So I hoped you liked knowing this side of my life also. I will be back with another blog very soon and maybe I may also bump into you someday and that day I want to feel contented with myself ‘cause I know I have been honest here. I have tried to make you understand what Mahaakshay is all about. I am a boy turning into a man. But no matter where I go from this point on, I know I have promises to keep. I know I have things to do and people to prove and battles to win. I thank all those heroes who remind me of my promises and I thank all the people in my life who remind me that even I can love. This battle between two minds is my struggle and it is a part of me. Maybe one day this struggle will end. Maybe it will take a new route. But all I know is that I have promises to keep and I won’t stop until I fulfil them.</div>
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<i><b>"The one excellent thing <span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">that can be learned from a lion is that whatever a man intends doing should be done by him with a whole-hearted and strenuous effort."</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/chanakya.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Chanakya</a></b></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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And This Is My Story.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com0Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8420064085092647929.post-16491496495733452792015-03-17T12:45:00.000-07:002015-03-17T12:45:00.712-07:00Heaven, Hell And The Rider In Between ...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><b>“There will come a time in your life when you will have the power to choose. Not a forced choice or an ultimatum. But true power to choose how you will want to shape your destiny. And that point the man who chooses good becomes godly. And The man who chooses evil becomes monstrous.”</b></i></div>
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<i><b>-The Book Of Prophecies.</b></i></div>
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Michael: Wake up Johnny. Wake up!</div>
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Lucifer: No johnny, stay asleep. Never wake up. Stay asleep.</div>
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Johnny: Where … where am I? Am I dead? What is this place?</div>
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M: This is purgatory johnny. And you aren’t dead. You are just in limbo.</div>
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L: Don’t listen to him johnny. He is lying. You are dead now. And you have no other choice but to come to me now.</div>
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J: Who are you two? What the hell is going on?!?</div>
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M: What is the last thing you remember Johnny? </div>
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J: Only my mom called me Johnny. You can call me John.</div>
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L: Even in death, the kid’s got an attitude. I like!</div>
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M: What is the last thing you remember … John? Think hard.</div>
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J: I … I remember being in my car. I … I was in a rush. Yes, I was going very fast. Yes, I was breaking the signals, I was driving like a maniac!</div>
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L: Things which I love to do by the way! </div>
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J: I was behind this huge truck and … and the truck wasn’t giving me any space to go ahead! I was honking and honking and when the truck didn’t budge I accelerated without seeing ahead. And then … and … Oh God!</div>
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L: Yes johnny, I mean john … you know what happened next, don’t you!? I will tell you what happened. You crashed you crazy son of a bitch! You crashed right into the car which was coming in the opposite direction! Luckily for you, the driver in the other car survived. I mean, he will eventually live.</div>
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J: I am dead. ain’t I?</div>
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M: As I said John, you aren’t dead, you are here with us now. Well, at least for the time being.</div>
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J: Why am I not dead? I should be dead. Why are you keeping me hear! Answer me!</div>
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L: Well john, this is the place where all souls come before ‘The Guy upstairs’ decides what to do with them. And I am Lucifer. The Son who betrayed my father and who was thrown away to the underworld. And this guy over here who is treating you like you are his lost son, is Michael. Michael the angel whom I am ashamed to call my brother as he was the one who banished me to hell all those millenniums ago.</div>
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M: Lucifer is right on all of that John. Al though I disagree with the language he uses, what he is stating are the hard facts. You were deep in anger when you roared your car’s engine to life! And then you were driving like you wanted to get killed. And well, you know what all happened next. So here you are. With us, in this Limbo. Waiting to be judged. Judged for all that you have done. And judged for all that you will do from this point on.</div>
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<i>"The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/john_milton.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">John Milton</a></i></div>
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<i style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">A Few Hours Later …</i></div>
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J: This place really in purgatory. Isn’t it? I have been running for miles and there seems to be no end! It’s like I am stuck in a place where time doesn’t exist! </div>
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M: All who have come here have felt the same way you have felt. It is natural to be in state of shock. </div>
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L: Why are we wasting time in trying to know each other? John, this shit is real! This is happening right now and what is more important is what we are about to ask and tell you.</div>
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J: And what is that?</div>
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M: First you calm down. Take a deep breath.</div>
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J: Ok … I am calm. I am ready to listen.</div>
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L: Good boy.</div>
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J: I am not your boy.</div>
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M: Shut it Lucifer. Let me talk.</div>
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L: My lips are sealed.</div>
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M: John, we know everything about you. We know all that you have done till this very moment. We are angels. The first creation of god himself. And we always were told to listen to what he asked of us. And for centuries we have done that. We have never intervened or interfered in the life of humans. No matter how much love they shared and no matter how much blood they spilled. We have been watching over all of you since the beginning of time. But every now and then God picks one of you. He picks them for a purpose. A purpose which is far more greater than life or death. A purpose which altars the course of human civilisation forever.</div>
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L: In other words, Prophets.</div>
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M: Yes, prophets. And all of the greats who have shaped history have been here in this limbo, having this very same conversation with us. </div>
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J: You mean … I am a … Prophet? You guys are more screwed up than I am! I am a nobody! I fix cars for a living! I am a loser. No one cares if I lived or I died. I had nobody ok. I … I …</div>
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M: You did have somebody John. You had Sarah, didn’t you?</div>
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J: Sarah … </div>
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M: Yes, sarah, the only love of your life. We know all about her. She is a substitute teacher at the local high school. She has a kid brother. She works day and night so he can have a good life. Her car broke down one day, right in front of your garage. You were fixing one of those classic Mustangs you are always so much in love with it. But the moment she walked in and asked for your help, you fell in love with her right that moment. You knew that she was the only one you would ever love. And you both did find love in each other. You became her brother, Samuel’s best friend. When she worked you used to play video games with him. And on the weekends you three used to go to the park and have your very own picnic. You were a good man when you were with her.</div>
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L: You were a good man until the day came.</div>
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J: No … no, please don’t say it. Please don’t remind me of that day.</div>
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L: You had gone out of town. You didn’t tell her why. You wanted to surprise her, didn’t you? You wanted to win that Car race so you could buy her that ring and propose to her. Didn’t you? You did win that race. You did buy that ring. But when you came back …</div>
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J: Please don’t say it! Please don’t! </div>
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L: You saw her in bed with another man didn’t you? And when you rushed in, she said it was her ex. Did she had a vulnerable moment. That her ex promised to take her back and marry her and take care of samuel and her. You were standing there and listening, weren’t you? You had tears rolling down your eyes but you did nothing. You just went back into your car and then you drove off. Didn’t you?</div>
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M: That’s enough lucifer.</div>
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L: I think good old john here is finally beginning to understand, aren’t you?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Yes, now I know. Now I remember. I remember everything. I always thought I was a loser. I had no friends. I had no one who could understand me and love me and make me happy. Until sarah came along. She was the answer I was looking for. But then, she broke my heart. She … she tore into pieces. She made drive that car. She made me this monster I am. She made this soul trapped in purgatory. Oh! I hate myself! I hate everything! Why me? Why me?!?</div>
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L: It is ok John. You are here now. And now, you can harness all that rage. Consume it and make it into a power you never thought you had!</div>
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M: Don’t listen to him John. He is only manipulating you. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Maybe, I want to be manipulated.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: That’s like my boy!</div>
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<i>"Remorse: beholding heaven and feeling hell."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/george_a_moore.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">George A. Moore</a></i></div>
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J: Take me to hell lucifer. That is where I belong.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: I know you are in pain right now John. But anger isn’t the solution. Giving in to your hate won’t make the pain go away.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: What do you know about pain Michael? You are god’s favourite child. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: Banishing you from heaven was the most hardest thing for me to do Lucifer. You are my brother and it broke my heart to do what I had to do. And that burden only I will have to carry for all eternity.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: Oh …</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: I truly loved her, you know. But in the end, she betrayed me. Why?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: Humans are capable of doing extreme things John. Humans can give in to violence or can have control over their peace.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: But I never did wrong to anyone! I always kept to myself. I remember in school, all the boys made fun of me. And none of the girls would talk to me. I remember my mom telling me that no matter what the world throws at you, always smile back.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: But underneath that smile, there was always a hidden anger. Wasn’t there?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Yes, there was. I always hated them. No matter how much I smiled on the surface, within, I hated them. And I never forgot what they did to me.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: That is why you started learning about cars, didn’t you? So that one day you would become a great race driver and shut their pile hole.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Yes.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: But life didn’t turn out the way you wanted too. Did it?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: No.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: That is why I am here John. I am here to help you.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: How can you help me?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: I can give you purpose again. I can make you use that rage and anger and make you my weapon. I can give you the justice. I can give you the power to Punish all those who made you suffer. I can make you the Demon all demons fear!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: I know that Lucifer’s offer is tempting John. But just the way Lucifer has seen your hate, I have seen the good in you.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: There is no good in me.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: There has always been good in you John. Remember three years ago, when you were crossing the road and you saw an old lady getting hit by a car? You saved her, didn’t you? Even though you didn’t know her. You took her to the hospital. You gave her blood and you also paid for her bills even though you were already low on cash. That goodness doesn’t come from hate. It comes from love. So no matter how tempting Lucifer’s offer sounds, I want you to be a part of heaven’s army. I want you to be Messiah of heaven!</div>
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L: I have seen what happens to souls when they go to heaven. It is all bright and calm and sun rises and sun sets. But with me, in hell, I offer you it all. All the addiction, all the seduction, all the power and all the darkness a man can observe. And it never stops there! With me by your side, you live forever!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: You are better than this John. I have seen it in you. I have seen the light within you. Amongst all that hate and fury, there was always a stillness in you. Always a part of you that was good.</div>
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J: One of you wants me to be the demon of demons and the other wants me to be a Messiah. Ok. It looks like I have made my choice.</div>
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<i>"To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/j/j_b_priestley.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">J. B. Priestley</a></i></div>
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J: Lucifer, when you reminded me of all the anger I have had, I actually remembered that even though I was always angry, I never used it to hurt anyone. All I did was hurt myself by keeping it in. And Michael when you reminded me of that old lady at the street, all I could feel was resentment and guilt ‘cause I had no power to avenge the pain that was caused to her. You both say I am a messiah. You both say that god chose me. So now, I say that I choose None of You.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: What?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: Come again?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: You heard me, I choose neither. Neither heaven and neither hell. I choose to stay here in this purgatory until I make right of all that I have seen wrong. I know god is listening also. So you both tell him that I am staying right here.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: Do you know what will happen to you if you say No? Your soul will be trapped in limbo forever!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: You will be stuck here, all alone for all eternity! We are giving you a way out.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: And that is what I don’t want. A way out. All my life I never dealt with the goodness or the evil in me. But now I will.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: You will be sent back to earth! But not as yourself anymore. You will be … a ….a deformity!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: Half Hell, Half Heaven.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: All Rider!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M & L: …</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Oh yeah, you heard me. I am going to be the Rider of earth. I am going to take your vengeance Lucifer and I will take your power to heal Michael and fuse it together and ride the earth for all eternity. I will now do what I was meant to do all those years ago.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: This isn’t making any sense. This isn’t how it was suppose to be!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Everyone goes through hardships in life. Everyone’s heart’s gets broken. And all humans are deceived and hurt. But that doesn’t give us the right to hurt each other. I know it was my fault that I wasn’t good enough for Sarah. I have guilt that I let my mom die. I have rage that I couldn’t do things that I wanted to do. But now, I have a second chance. And I will make sure I fix the things I left unfinished. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
L: Why carry this burden?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: Because I know I can. And I will. </div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: But you will be alone. You will have no one.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: All my life I wanted people to look at me and talk to me and most importantly, understand me. But no one did. Today, that thought doesn’t make me angry. It makes me realise that I was meant to be alone to begin with. That some people just are.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
M: What you are about to do is something no one has ever done before.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
J: That doesn’t matter. What matters is what I have realised. What I am feeling right now. When I go back to earth. I promise to never hurt another soul again. And I promise to avenge the innocent. I know the price of this burden. That I will forever ride alone in the wilderness. But I will keep on going until I can’t any longer. I will fight until there is a single ounce of energy left in my body. I will be a ghost hiding in the darkness. I will be a stranger who’s name people would never remember. But no matter the pain and guilt this loneliness will give me, I will bare it. I will not quit. And I will do what I am set out to do. So hear this Lucifer and Michael, I am not the slave of good or evil anymore. I am a free man. I will not be tempted by lust or greed or darkness and I won’t be softened by love or compassion. I will do what is right ‘cause in the end, that is all that matters.</div>
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<i>"Free will carried many a soul to hell, but never a soul to heaven."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/charles_spurgeon.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Charles Spurgeon</a></i></div>
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Bravo John! Bravo!</div>
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John: Who was that?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
Lucifer: It can’t be! He has never spoken to any soul before!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
Michael: Well, he is now.</div>
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God: John, I am God.</div>
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John: So you heard what I said?</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
God: Yes I did. And to be honest I didn’t expect you to do what you are setting out in doing.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
John: Oh Okie.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
God: Before you go, I just want you to know that I have believed in you. That I was there, every step of the way. I saw your every move and I knew that one day, this moment would come. And today it has.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
John: I am not changing my mind.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
God: I have always given humans the choice of free will. If this is what you think is right then it shall be done. But do remember that I am very proud of you.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
John: Thank you. I guess that’s the only thing appropriate to say now.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
God: Your welcome John.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
John: Uuuhhh … before I go, I just wanted you to know that your sons, Michael and Lucifer really love each other as much as they still love you. They may not show it but they still do. They are just too stuck up too admit it.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
Michael: Ya right!</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
Lucifer: Jerk.</div>
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God: Thank you for telling me that John.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
John: Oh ya and just one more thing.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
God: What is it John?</div>
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John: I want My Ride.</div>
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God: :-)</div>
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<div style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<i>"We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job."</i></div>
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<i>-<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/phil_robertson.html" style="color: #0000aa; text-decoration: none;">Phil Robertson</a></i></div>
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This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty. And I Am The Rider.</div>
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With All My Might,</div>
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Your No.1 Fan,</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px;">
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.</div>
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Mahaakshay Chakrabortyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717663092760419620noreply@blogger.com0Mumbai, Maharashtra, India19.0759837 72.87765590000003618.5957917 72.232208900000032 19.556175699999997 73.52310290000004