Welcome To My Brotherhood ...

We Don't Need Holy Wars. What We Need Is Tolerance And Brotherhood And Simple Humanity. - Arlen Specter 

Friends, Team, Crew, Unit, Staff, Entourage. They have many names. I simply call them the Brotherhood. And what better way to show them My Love and Respect than to dedicate an entire blog to them. They say blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Besides My Family and the Life given to Me, I am blessed with 4 more individuals whom today, I proudly call Family. Without whom I may have not been where I am today. Without whom, I may have not come this far. Without whom I may have been just another brown star who would burn without any light. Without whom I may have not been Mahaakshay Chakraborty. Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome To My Brotherhood …

So where do I begin? Where do I actually start? How do I give these amazing men their introductions? I guess all of them deserve their own share of credit.  Whether it is Khatri Irfan, My Dress Designer, Mohammad Altaf, My Make-Up Artist, Mitesh Shah, My Hair Stylist and Prabhu Ganesh, My Assistant, they all deserve their due because I have seen where they were and where they are now. We all are very similar to each other because we all started from nowhere. And now, as Fate wanted it, we have found each other and made this indestructible Unit which stays together, no matter what. We know when to work and when to have fun. And not even once have I seen them as inferiors. No. Never. They are My equals because without them, I am just a guy. With Them, I am Extra-Ordinary! And all of them are married and are My Elders! So you see, I owe them more than they owe Me. You may think why I am praising them so much. Well because they have earned it! I know these guys even before I was Mahaakshay Chakraborty. They have seen My struggles. They have seen My Tears and they have shared My dreams, joys and triumphs. They are My Brotherhood …

Here, in this brotherhood, there are no religions. There are no castes and no differentiations. Here, we are One. We work as One Solid Unit. My boys are very professional when it comes to My Work because they know how important it is for Me to look good. Whether it is Altaf who does My Touch-Up before every shot or Mitesh setting My hair with the right amount of Hair Gel or Irfan giving Me that perfect jeans or even Ganesh giving Me My 5pm coffee just the way I like it, we all are very professional from the time we enter the sets till the time we hear 'pack-up'. Ask everywhere where I have worked, everyone, from all of those Movie Sets had only praises for My Team because of their Nature and Respect for others. We all know the value of Respect, especially in our Industry, where we hate more than we love. We know whom to talk to and with whom to be friends with. We know where to draw the line and where to let go. These boys have sacrificed so much for Me. Accepted Me as I am and have only supported Me. There were many others who came and left. But these four stayed because they believed in Me, just like the way I believe in them …

I am not saying we don't have problems. We all come with our share. We all do. But even in the midst of all those thoughts, we find reasons to smile because we don't let each other down. There are times when I am zoned off and because we have spent so much of time together, My unit sees My body language change and make an effort to cheer Me up and guess what? It actually works! We eat together and we stay together. We understand each other and we also respect each others space. Whether it is Altaf and Irfan being Muslims and Mitesh being a Hardcore Jain or Ganesh being from the South, we know that we have to respect each others space and never step on each others toes. I think that is one of the reasons we have survived through thick and thin together. Back in the day, in the beginning, we met as strangers. People who didn't knew each other. Today, we are Brothers. Brothers who share the same plate of food. Who share the laughter from the same joke and even share that joyful tear when we talk about our dreams. We are a Brotherhood and proud to be one … 

My works takes Me to far of places. Away from home. Away from My Friends and Family. But since I am blessed to have these great individuals by My side, I never feel alone or lonely. They have always been there for Me. And I know that they will always be with Me. Insha-Allah! These guys know that for Me, Loyalty means everything and due to god's blessings these chaps have never given Me a reason to complain. As I said, they know from where they have come and where they are today and where they will be going. I am responsible for these individuals. Their dreams are attached with Mine. It is My sole responsibility to provide for them. I am not just fighting for Myself or My Family, I am also fighting for these boys and their families as well. I have eaten their Dhoklas and Biryanis and Idlis. I know what that feels like. To see them smile when I succeed. To see them laugh when I do something funny or to even hear them snore when I wake 5mins earlier than them to get ready. These boys have become a part of My life and I, on the record am saying this that I am nothing without My Crew and tomorrow when I do succeed, along with My family, My Brotherhood will be responsible for it …

So before I go all I wanna say is that I am truly blessed. Yes I am. I know My life is moving in the right direction with the right people in it. I am a part of my Brotherhood where we are not discriminated or categorised. Here, we are equals. Equals who will fight for each other and stay together till the end of time. My brotherhood will always be a part of My legacy. And I wish that one day we become an example for the world that where love exists, nothing else matters. No Creed, Caste or Religion matters. All that matters is the bond we share, not as an Actor, Make-Up Artist, Assistant, Hair Stylist or Dress Designer but as Brothers. Brothers who will ride together, who will die together. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to My Brotherhood …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Brotherhood.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

My Date With The Reaper ...

James 5:20

Let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

You know that feeling … That feeling when you are finally where you wanted to be. You dreamt about it your whole life and then finally you are there. You prepare for it. You wait for it. You imagine it. And then, without a second's notice, it is there. All My life I prayed for that moment to come. That feeling of completeness. And now, I am finally living it. A part of Me is filled with joy because I am finally where I am but there is a side to Me which is petrified! Which is full of fear. For this moment of completeness is also the moment of realisation, that this is it. This is the final touch to the painting. The full stop to the story. This is how it is going to be for the rest of My life. Through all the struggles that I have overcome and all the wars still bestowed upon Me, this is the way I am going to go out. But I never knew that before the curtain call, I would meet with this stranger. A Stranger, the folk lore of the world calls as the Soul Collector. I simply call Him, The Reaper. Ladies and gentlemen, this is My Date With The Reaper …

Have you come to collect? Is it My time? Is this the way how it ends? Is their light at the end of the tunnel? Do I get to see god? These were the questions that were running through my head when I met The Reaper but all I did was look at Me. This beautiful monster who God created. For the balance in this world. People have this assumption that The Reaper is a hideous and devilish monster who is pale and down-right frightening but all I saw was this Serene, Peaceful and Calm being which was filled with Energy just like you and Me. And what puzzled Me most was that he wasn't doing anything to Me. He wasn't tearing My soul out from My body, nor was he showing the torments of hell. He was just standing there. So, finally, after the 5mins of awkward silence between us I asked him, "So?" and he just replied, "Before you say or think any further can we both sit down some place peaceful and have a nice cup of tea?". Of course I was bewildered by his words but nonetheless I proceeded and granted his wish. What followed afterwards was something I never expected. Especially from The Reaper himself …

"You obviously must be thinking why am I having a cup of tea with you when I should be collecting your soul. Well, to make the long story short, I am not here to collect your soul. I am here to understand it." I asked in confusion once again, "Excuse Me?". And for this The Reaper said, "Let Me explain. But to understand the answers, We must first ask the right questions. And so, we begin. Mahaakshay, we all know that you made your deal with God and the Devil at the same time. You asked for it all and you even accepted the consequences that come along with it. We always had our eye on you. Even when you didn't know, we were there with you. Every step of the way. And as time passed, you became an exceptional human being. And we all were so proud of you. But then something happened to you? Didn't it? You became something more than you asked for. You went far down that road, didn't you? We all knew, you would, in the end, become just like us but we didn't expect this. So I ask you this question, why did you become this thing? We never wanted you to become this way. You cared once. You loved once. You were once that Boy. A Boy who is filled with Innocence. What happened to you Mahaakshay? What. Happened. To. You?" 

I just looked at him. To be honest, for the first few moments I didn't know what to say. I was completely taken a back. I mean, this is The Grim Reaper after all! The Collector Of Souls! And that entity, just spoke those words to Me! At that moment, I had no comeback. But, as those never-ending moments of shock and realisation went by I blinked, I moved My nostrils to breath the air and then I opened My lips and said, "I know what happened to Me Mr.Reaper. I got consumed. I lost control. And I forgot when to stop. I always knew that Greatness had a price. I always knew that I had to make certain choices that would haunt Me until I died. I also knew what would happen to Me the moment I would say Yes. I knew it all. But I never knew I would become this cold-heartless-selfish human being. I have forgotten how to care. How to look beyond My own self. I have become this Fake personality for the world. A personality that the world thinks is real. But I am more darker than that. All those who once loved Me have now gone, for they only see a very self-centred, selfish human being. They look at Me and wonder that how can a man be so much self-consumed that he looses his ability to care. His ability to love or even be concerned. For them, I mean nothing now. For them I am not even a memory. But Mr.Reaper, I had My reasons. I always had My reasons." …

"I want to succeed. I want to win. No matter how hard it gets. I want to triumph. Feel the exhilaration of victory. I want My hand up. I want to make it through this hellish war. I want My Greatness. And for that, I am willing to do anything. You see Me today as a Monster who doesn't care. But you know from where I began. You know what I went through. For Me, My Success means everything! For My Success will one day define My legacy. And to achieve that I can do anything. I can become anything. I can't stop. I won't stop. Yes, I know what this journey has made Me. It has made Me this shallow-godless-freak who deserves nothing but his loneliness and you know what? Even though that scares the shit out of Me, I am ok with that. You heard Me, Mr.Reaper, I am ok with that. So when you come to collect My soul make sure you put in the last circle of hell, for that is where it will belong. But until then, I will do whatever it takes to live this life of Greatness because that is all I have! One day, My body will crumble, My bones will break and My Mind will be shattered. One day I will be a sad, broken, lonely of a man. But Today Is Not That Day … Today Is Not That Day!" ...

After what I said, Me and The Reaper had another 5mins of awkward silence. But after that, the tea cup was empty. The breeze was still blowing it's cool wave and the silence of words were still playing their tune. Then The Reaper got up and started preparing for his exit but not until He said His Last Farewell Words to Me. "I have met many but none like you. You are far too consumed by your Ambition. I know you will achieve it. And I also know that you won't stop until you do. But you will pay a heavy price for it. A very heavy price. You will never feel love again. The warmth it brings because your Anger and Hate have left you in the coldness. Your Vengeance has no end. Your Wrath has no limits. Your Darkness has no light. And even though I am the Collector Of Souls, Souls, some which deserve their punishment in hell, some that deserve their solitude in heaven, I will pray that You find Your Peace for your Greatness Is Your Curse. You are Meant To Live. You Are Meant To Fulfil Your Purpose, Even If That Purpose Will One Day Be The Only Thing That You Will Have Left. Farewell My Friend. Farewell You Little, Sad, Lonely Creature. Farewell."

The Reaper left after that. Left Me in the nothingness where it all began. The Nothingness where it will all once end …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And This Was My Date With The Reaper …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

Beyond The F@!k ...

Destiny Grants Us Our Wishes, But In It's Own Way, In Order To Give Us Something Beyond Our Wishes. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe.

Thoughts. Thoughts are the creation of everything. They are basically the seeds of our very being. Like all the others out there, My thoughts dominate Me too. But before you think that this blog is about a one-night-stand I had recently and My sexual escaped during it, well My readers, I am sorry to disappoint you because none of that happened and neither this is about that. This is about that thought. That one singular thought which takes a lot of time, experience and maturity to come into place. This thought is called "Beyond The F@!k" because there comes a time in a man's life when he stops thinking and reacting to the silly, bitter and small things which are a part of his life and looks beyond the phrase, "I don't give a f@!k anymore!". I am right now in that phase of My life and I am glad that I am …

There are many things which go through in a person's life. And mostly all of them include hardships, tensions and struggles. Some of them even include jealousy, envy and even hatred. In the world we live in today, it is very difficult to be 'sane' and 'normal' and 'peaceful' when everywhere you go, you face the battles which life throws at you. So it is natural that in order to 'fit in' we become these social-attention-hungry animals always trying to be the One-Up from the rest. For a very long time I was one of them. Hearing about others. Loving the gossip which spread like a virus and also rejoicing in others failures. I was that guy. I enjoyed being that guy. Maybe it was because that was the only thing that kept Me going because back then, I was a failure too. As they say, 'Misery loves company'. And so, I wanted the world to burn as much as I was burning inside with the emptiness that failure gives you. But Since I have started working again, I have changed. I am still trying to figure out how that happened. These things don't happen through planning. They just happen when they have too …

As you all know I am right now filming for My very 1st Bengali Film Rocky. My Dad is here, helping Me with the Dialogues and the Diction because I really want to give My best to this Film. Recently, we filmed a very important sequence of the film which consisted of monologue-long dialogues of My character. The day before we shot, you have no idea how nervous I was! I didn't know whether I could had pulled it off. But I did. I was very proud of Myself but I knew, at the back of My head, that no matter what I do, once the film releases, people and critics will still find flaws in Me and if there aren't any, they will create them. These 'practical' thoughts used to affect Me before but now, I don't give a sh@t  anymore or in My words, I am right now beyond the f@!k. It doesn't matter to Me anymore what people think. What the critics will say, what the haters will tweet and what even god decides. I am now Beyond The F@!k and proud to be …

No matter how many examples I give. No matter how simple I break it down. And it doesn't even matter in which language I write this, in the end My words will always mean the same. I am where I want to be. This is where I belong. This is what I was born to do. And this is where I will die. And that is why I have become this man. This man who is now Beyond The F@!k. Who just doesn't care anymore. I know for the world I have now become this godless-soulless-machine who is so cold that even the arctic has a complex against him! But I am this man. I know I am. And to be honest, for all of My life, I wanted to be this man. This unstoppable force of nature who knows nothing besides his goal. Who feels nothing besides his relentless pursuit to win and make all things possible. Who is so consumed by his own wrath that he knows nothing beyond his own dreams. For the world I am simply a Monster.

But there are times. Times when I slip even when I don't choose too. Those quiet moments during the wee hours in the mornings. When I wake up and prepare Myself for the Work ahead. When I check My Bbm and Instagram. When I see the world celebrating diwali and going out for parties and hooking up for love and sex. There are times when I envy those people. Times when I can't stand their happiness. When I realise that they have something more than Me. Something that I deserve more than them. There are times when I slip and fall into the abyss of jealousy and hatred. But then I tell Myself, I remind Myself who I am. Who I Truly am. It is a lonely place where I am. Here , the only companions I have are My Electronics and the beats I hear when I put on My Dr.Dre's. Here, no other soul understands and now I know that no one ever will. For out there, people do give a f@!k about others and are only concerned with the failures of their enemies. But here, I am Beyond The F@!k …

People don't care. People are not concerned. They say they do, they say there are. But the truth is, they are as selfish as the person next to them. I am glad I figured that out now. Now, when I am just beginning the most important chapter of My Life. The Chapter of Responsibility. Many people may read My Blog and call Me a pathetic loser because how lonely can a man get that the only way he can vent out his true emotions is by typing them down on his laptop! I may agree with them in some six degrees of separation but I am not affected by them. I no longer am because I am where I belong. This place, this lonely dark place may not have the pleasures that the world has to offer but there is something here that the world out there can never give Me … Purity. Yes, this place is pure. It gives Me exactly what I want and it has made Me the man I wanted to become. Ask any man who searches for peace and he will answer that he has to first find the madness. Go beyond the norms of society and Beyond The F@!k. I am in that place now. I am where I belong. Judge Me however you want. Call Me names and even spit on My face if you want too. I don't care because I am not looking for redemption. I am not waiting for the after-life and neither am I waiting to see what god looks like and the virgins he offers Me in heaven. No, I am just a man who is exactly where he wants to be. I am a man who is Beyond The F@!k …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty. And I Am Where I Belong … Beyond The F@!k …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

The Opposite Sex ...

Women Are Made To Be Loved, Not Understood. - Oscar Wilde.

Women. I think that one word says it all. The opposite sex. The war of the sexes. Men are from mars women are from venus. The list goes  on and on. And as every man out there I am still trying to understand women. And something tells Me that I will never get there. To that final thesis of a conclusion, that yes, I have finally cracked the code. I have finally figured out the opposite sex. Maybe, writing this blog will help Me get there. I don't know. Maybe. Let's see. I have been around women My whole life. Whether it was My Mom who bared Me for 9 months or whether it was My babysitter who take care of Me when Mom wanted to take her bath, I have grown up in the company of women. And as a 28 year old guy today, I have nothing but respect for women. No matter how much the man hunts for meat and no matter how much he brings home, the woman will always be the foundation of the family. Trust Me, I know. I have an amazing mother to prove just that.

I know I maybe taking My Mom's side here but I know what she has been through. All My Mom ever wanted was to be a house-wife. She left all her stardom and fame when she decided to marry My Dad. I don't know how she did that and that always made me curious. Whenever I asked her that question she just said, "Being a wife and a mother is all the happiness I ever needed and now I am living that happiness everyday." My Mom is the mother of 4 children and trust Me, even today, we don't make it easy for her but she stills stays strong for us. On the record today, I am openly saying that I am a Momma's Boy and will continue to be so, no matter how people take that for Me, My Mother has always given Me her love and supported Me through My darkest years and for that I can never thank her enough. I know for every child their Mom is the best but I know this without a shadow of a doubt that in today's fast moving times, My Mom Is The No.1 Mom out there! Well My Sister, oh boy! She is a different story altogether … :-)

My sister just turned 15. We all know what happens when we reach that age and My Sister is no different. She is rebellious, down right on-your-face and sometimes harsh too. But let's face it. We all were the same when we were 15, were't we? I love My Sister. She is My life and because of her, I know I am a better man a much more responsible man. I fear the day when she will finally grow-up and have boyfriends and one day fall in love and become someone else's. But I know that day is inevitable. But until that day comes, I want to be the best brother she has. Me and My sis may not meet eye to eye with almost everything but when it comes to fighting for each other, we leave no one! I guess, that is a bond only a sister and a brother can share. Having sis around makes Me believe that there is still some good left in Me that I have been blessed with such a sweet, beautiful and caring soul as My Sister. My younger brother maybe her favourite but she knows when it's time to kick ass, I am the brother who will be up for the job. 

Surely you must be thinking that since I am going in order of the women in My life, the next paragraph will surely be of the women I have loved. Well, you are right on that but I won't take their names nor give any hints about them because that won't be right. All of the women who came in My life, came with the trust that their bond with Me would be sacred and for that reason, I will keep their respect. I have met many, many women in My life. And all of them, yes, I mean all of them have taught Me something more about love, friendship and respect. They say each soul you meet takes you to the next chapter of My life. I guess that has been the case with Me too. For a very long time now I have been around the company of women, whether they were My best friends or My lovers. Even today 3 out of 4 of My best friends are women! Trust Me guys, sometimes having a girl as your best friend can be so much of fun! They are actually more chilled out than we think they can be. And as far as the women I have loved goes, well, they have been nothing less than spectacular! To be honest, I think I am much more confident today because of the women who have been there in My life. Some have taught Me to talk, to listen and even to understand. All those years ago, even when I was a boy growing up, those women loved Me for who I was. And that is something worth cherishing about.

Sure you may think that I am buttering up women here and praising them like they are angels. Well, the truth is some of them actually are. I have met My share of women. The crazy ones, the dangerous ones, the jealous ones, the cold ones, the boring ones, the nice ones, the amazing ones and the loving ones. And all of them have left a beautiful memory for Me to think and smile about. And I know that I have made My share of mistakes with all of them. I have wronged many of them. Some who deserved it and some who didn't. I know I can't change the past but there is a part of Me now who is conscious about it. I just hope that one day I do become the man women think I can be. But until that day comes, I know I will always admire the opposite sex. I may not understand them sometimes but i do know that they are God's True Beauty on this Earth! And guys, you don't need to always see what the flesh looks like, sometimes, you just got to see their souls 'cause you never know, in one of them lies the real essence of their beauty … their purity. :-)

I am Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I guess I am still figuring out The Opposite Sex …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.