This One's For You ...

“I love my life and there are times when I am truly grateful. But do you know what makes this life more beautiful? It is the people who have loved me unconditionally and still continue to do so.”

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty

Since the time I have started blogging I have always tried to express myself. Through my words, through the songs and the pictures, I have always tried to pass on my message to all whom have read my blogs and in a way you, the reader has peeked into my life. Maybe you have figured me out maybe you are trying too or maybe you have blocked the reminder for these blog posts. Either way, you and me, both have come a long way from the 1st blog I ever wrote. Right now, I am at My Madh House, lying in Wait for My Greatness to shine upon me. I am ok with the Wait now. I have adapted to it and found ways to kill the silence which surrounds this wait. As they say, “You Get Used To Anything If You Stay Around It For A While.” And so, as I have gotten used to this quiet environment my life reflects around me, like flashbacks in a movie and it makes me realise how far I have come and how far I need to go. And as the images project in front of me I see many a things which have made my life meaningful. Things that I have gone through and the people who came and left. So this blog today isn’t about me or the battles I am facing. My Battles are a part of me and I know that everyday new challenges will come in front of me and with these tough challenges I will also face my simple moments of joy. Moments which become more blissful when shared with the people who love me. So my friends this blog is for you. For all the love you have given me. For the support you have shown and the belief that has made me strong. 

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

-Albert Camus

Nikki. The one constant in my life from the last 10 years. Who knew that the Canadian girl I met in Acting Class would become such an important part of my life today?!? Nikki is one of the greatest gifts god has ever given me. I know when I count my blessings I count her as one of them. God knows I have made her go through hell, especially in the last 3 years of my life! I met her in a very difficult time of my life but no matter how I was and bad I treated her, she never stopped loving me. Nikki is loving, caring, patient, understanding and the most giving person I have ever met. She is the beacon of joy and happiness in my life and I have seen no one sticking around and making the efforts she has done. Today, I only have complete love, adoration and respect for her! She is hard-working and extremely talented and I know and believe that if anyone deserves to be rewarded for her efforts, it is Nikki. Today, Nikki is a very important part of my family and it gives me immense joy to see that my brothers and sister love her the way I do. I don’t know how lost I would had been if I hadn’t found her. She is truly like a Light House for me and I thank her from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me when everyone else left me and cursed me for my selfishness. I pray and request god to give one Nikki to all of mankind ‘cause she only passes warmth, love, kindness and happiness wherever she goes. Nikki, thank you for being you. Always and Forever.

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

-Oprah Winfrey

Bhushan. My best friend. In fact, the greatest friend I ever had! I love him like a brother and the bond we share is truly sacred. Bhushan is that one friend we all need. I know I needed him and I know I will for generations to come. When you come across Bhushan, you will understand what I am saying. He is a simple guy and has no tantrums. He is the kind of a guy who only gives but never asks anything for himself. Bhushan is like my guardian angel and he is always there whenever I need him. He never complains. He never fights or gives excuses. I have only known him for the last two years but it feels like I have known him since the time I was born. Just like Nikki, I have shown my dark side to bhushan also and if it was anyone else he would shown me the finger and would had bailed off in the first few months itself. But Bhushan stayed and today my parents treat him and love him like their own son and I get the same love whenever I meet his mom and family. It is like we are one big family now. Bhushan, thanks buddy. Thank you for being there for me, even when I wasn’t there for you. You are my Rocky indeed and it is by looking at you and daily struggles that the hero in me has gotten the strength to fight on. I don’t know how you do it bro but I respect the hell out of you and I salute you for the unconditional giving, day in and day out. I am truly lucky to have you in my life. Let the world have their friends and their entourages, for me one Bhushan is enough.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."

-Henri Nouwen

Henna. According to me she is a complete bad-ass! I have never met a woman who is so focused and relentless to achieve her fitness goals the way henna is! I met her last year in july nearly two weeks before my 29th birthday at one fitness gym in malad. She had come for the mma class I go to and when I saw her, I had this sudden urge to help her. And from that to this day, nearly a year later, henna has become a force to reckon with when it comes to Mma. Men are intimidated by her punches which can knock guys in seconds. People come up to her and compliment her for her amazing transformation. There are times when she also motivates me during our Mma classes and I extremely proud of her. I have seen a bright future for this unstoppable girl who takes life and it’s challenges head-on and I know that one day that she will achieve great heights. There have been times when me and henna haven’t met eye to eye but the truth is that no matter how many times we have fought or when I have behaved distant, she was there for me, as my friend. Henna, thank you for being there. You are very important for me today and I would be very happy if we stay friends forever and share anything and everything with each other. You are truly a certified bad-ass and always stay the way you are.

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

-Albert Schweitzer

Above I mentioned the three most important people in my life apart from my family without whom I would have been completely extinct by now. But I can’t complete this blog without mentioning all whom who have impacted my life only for the better. My shoutout goes to Pankaj who I love like a younger brother. He is fighting the good fight and I know that one day he will achieve great heights. I also wanna say thanks to Vineet who I respect as a friend and a guide and a man who never quits. Nitin, whom I just met recently also deserves to be mentioned ‘cause he is one of the nicest guys I have met and he is one of those guys who never forgets to wish me Good Morning. My blog would feel incomplete if I don’t thank my Coach Rajendra Dhole for believing in me and understanding me when no one else could. I want to thank Altaf and Irfan for their brutal honesty and making my crew the way it is today. Without them I don’t think Me or anyone associated to me would had gotten the respect from the people in the cities that we have travelled as a brotherhood of one. I may have not met my two brothers in arms Nathan and Boidujo who are from England but the bond I share with them cuts the distance and makes our friendship blossom with each passing day. A big shout out to Kaushik and Nadira as well, without whom I wouldn’t know what the Funny Bone really meant. I wanna thank you all from the bottom of my heart not because I am going to be greeted in heaven for the love I have given you but it is because of the gratitude I feel whenever I get a message or a call from one of you. My life is truly beautiful because I have met you all and if god ever gave me a choice to start over I would always I mean ALWAYS want you all to be a part of it.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."

-Marcel Proust

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And This One’s For You.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

***********************************************************************************************************************

Tales Of A Bad-Ass ...

"I Believe We All Have A Certain Rebel In Us. A Bad-Ass Who Wants To Break Free."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

If you search ‘Bad-Ass’ in an online dictionary, you will find the description as “Distinctively Tough Or Powerful: So Exceptional As To Be Intimidating.” If you ask me, that is a very cool meaning and even cooler for the men who have been honoured by that Title and Recognition. If you ask me how I thought about writing a Blog upon Bad-Asses, well it was because I got inspired from this song I have on my iPod. I don’t know what is the title of the song but it was used as an Entrance Theme for a Ufc Fighter in one of the Pay-Per-Views I saw a while back. If you hear the song, even you will feel like a Bad-Ass cause the lyrics are very inspiring. Basically, the song is all about telling your enemy or opponent that you are no match for me and this place is my yard. This is where I rule, not you. And you are a just a novice and an amateur. And there is a hard-core line in the song which goes as, “You Don’t Pee With The Puppies And Crap At The Big Dogs Yard.” So after hearing that amazing song I guess the Bad-Ass in me also got awakened and I thought that this blog should be my tribute to all those Bad-Ass Men I look up to and also to the Bad-Ass term itself. 

"Man is the unnatural animal, the rebel child of nature, and more and more does he turn himself against the harsh and fitful hand that reared him."

-H. G. Wells

Whether it was the Greeks, the Romans or the Spartans, all men in history have shown a certain trait of a Bad-Ass in them. Those brave warriors who fought those mighty battles for their kings, to the Actors who we all looked up to during the 90’s Action Era of Hollywood and Bollywood, all have represented ‘The Man Who Rebels And Kicks ass And Beats The Bad Guys.’ For me, even the fighters in the Ufc are Bad-Asses. Whether it is Big Roy Nelson with his Pony Tail or Cain Velasquez as the Heavy Weight Champion of the world, they all glow with a tint of that little extra. Of that certain, “I don’t care what you think of me, I am who I am look.” All these men have defied the odds and also the norms of society to be who they are. And that is why we look up to them. That is why we worship them. And that is why we wanna be them. I have countless memories in my head playing over and over again to prove that we all get excited when we see a Bad-Ass do his thing. Do you remember the Raw episode which broke Nitro’s ratings? When the greatest Bad-Ass in Wwe , Stone Cold Steve Austin came and helped Mankind to become the Wwe Champion? Do you remember how the crowd went berserk and couldn’t stop cheering and screaming out of excitement for 3 full minutes? I know how that felt. I have seen that clip over a hundred times and each times it gives me goosebumps. Each time I see Arnold Schwarzenegger firing that mini-gun towards the alien in Predator I feel that excitement. Each time I see Liam Neeson kill every single man in Taken I feel that way. you see, what I am trying to say is, we all relate to these Men Of Steel ‘cause we all see ourselves as them. 

"I feel like in my music I can be a rebel. I can say things I wouldn't say in real life."

-Taylor Swift

If you ask me if I have ever imagined myself to be a Bad-Ass, well the answer would be a Hell Yes I have! I mean, how cool would it be to actually be a Real-Life Version of all the heroes and fighters you have grown up watching! It would certainly be a dream come true for me. To be honest, I have even imagined the clothes I would be wearing when I finally take the Role of the Ultimate Bad-Ass. I would be wearing my Diesel Jeans, Big Boots from Timberland, My Favourite Punisher Muscle Tee, the Leather Jacket which The Rock wore in Faster and my Ray-Ban Aviators to make my appearance more cooler. I would be riding a Harley, Triumph or a Ford Mustang and I would sail off towards the sun set to wherever life takes me. And to be honest, I have seen that image become a reality in my head many a times. For me, being a Bad-Ass is more spiritual than putting guys through walls. It is about an act of defiance. It is about being a rebel and showing Fate and Destiny that I am my own maker and no matter what life throws at me, I will throw it right back at it. Of course, like everything else in life, being a bad-ass has it pros and it’s cons. The pros are that you never have to answer to anyone. You make your own rules and you follow your own path. You defy fate and destiny at ever given turn and care two-hoots about what people think of you. The cons is that you eventually become alone and all ties that you had so dearly clinched on to break away and never get attached again. You become a drifter and a wanderer. Your best friend is only the shadow the sun casts on you. And your only companion is the car that you are riding or the book that you are reading. But if you ask me if I would ever give up the opportunity to become a Bad-Ass, I would say, “Never In A Million Years!”

"Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman."

-Joan Jett

I guess all Bad-Asses are Lone Wolves in their own way. Maybe they have accepted their own mortality and also embraced it. Or maybe they are hardened by the hurt they have gone through. Or maybe they have isolated themselves from the flow of emotions so much, that they just don’t care anymore. To be honest, I don’t know. Well, not yet.  Maybe one day I might. But I guess we all want to travel that road less travelled. We all wanna feel what real freedom feels like and be our own bosses. Maybe we all want to be rebels and take cross-country road trips. Maybe we all want to escape and never come back. That is why the term ‘Bad-Ass’ will never go extinct. Even our great grand children will know what it means and so will their children after them, ‘cause as long as society has it’s rules to keep us in check and take away our right to be ourselves, the Bad-ass in us will always want to break free. I don’t know what life has in stored for me. But I do know one thing, that life has brought me this far and every step that I have taken has been for the best of my interests. Whether it was me starting to write blogs, or seeing success and failure time and again or by getting let down by the people I have loved and cared for, every moment in life has defined me as the man I am today. And if I have to sum up my own definition, I would say I am a Boy in the Process of becoming a Man, with a touch of Bad-Ass in the mix. Yes, I wanna be free. I wanna roam the world and experience the sheer joy travelling brings. I wanna be the king of my own kingdom where I only rule myself. I want to Kick-Ass like Slyvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Van Damme and Chuck Norris. I wanna go on stage and sing Kid Rock Songs. I want to drive heavy duty motor cycles and wear a bandana on my head like The undertaker during American Bad-Ass Phase. And I want to wear a T-Shirt which says, ‘Certified Bad-Ass!’. 

"Master of the universe but not of myself, I am the only rebel against my absolute power."

-Pierre Corneille

I don’t know whether the above lines meant anything to you or not or whether you could relate to it or even take it as a reference for a defining chapter in your life. Truth be told, there were two reasons why I wrote this blog. One was because I got inspired by that Ufc Walkout song and the other one was that I wanted the writer in me to try a new approach to my blogs. Since my online Creating Writing 101 course through Gotham Writers begins on the 22nd, I got inspired to use the tips they have given us to express ourselves more better. Hope it worked and I hope I do well in the 6-weeks course that awaits me. Either way, I know I have given my best attempt in trying to explain to you my outlook on the word ‘Bad-Ass and the people who have impacted the Bad-Ass in me. I am going to turn 30 in the next three months and I know that the best and most adventurous days of my life still await me. The best chapters of my life are still to begin and I know that where the civil rules of society will stop me from going, the Bad-Ass in me will always find a way. So I am gearing up my friends. I am gearing up to see the world, to be a rebel and for that beautiful sun set that awaits me. I am gearing to be the best version of a Bad-Ass that I can ever be.

"Sure, I always chose rebels to identify with - I still do - but to me a rebel isn't so much someone who breaks the law as someone who goes against the odds."

-William Petersen

This Is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and these are The Tales Of A Bad-Ass.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

***********************************************************************************************

M.A.M.M.A. {Me And Mixed Martial Arts}

“We all think that we choose our own paths and make our own destinies. But the truth is, we all are chosen for a cause. We all are chosen for a purpose. And the path we walk isn’t something we chose. But the path was laid in front of us. So we aren’t tools of own choosing. But weapons of fate that was bestowed upon us.” 

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

I really love these blogs. And whenever I write these, I think I am the only one having a voice to do so. But the truth is, there are more than 3 billion people out there who are on their computer at this very same moment, expressing how they feel. Whether it is writing about their recent break-up or about their dream job, everyone is venting out and waiting for the world to hear them. That is why I believe writing these blogs have been very therapeutic for me. Yes, I do know that I don’t write these blogs on a weekly basis now and neither do I send them to everyone on my mailing list anymore. Well, it is because times have changed and I am not the same guy I was three years ago. I think I have become more calmer and simpler. I am getting white hair now. And I sometimes I do think that I have become a Dinosaur. Old and very soon extinct. Long gone are the days when I thought I was a stud and a lady killer. I now remember those thoughts and just laugh at myself. I take those acts as acts of foolishness. Women don’t flirt with me anymore. Men don’t wanna be my friends and I no longer wanna be a part of that circle. I am more by myself nowadays and the things that mattered to me and affected me don’t anymore. I am not lonely anymore but I am Alone. Lonely is a negative word but being Alone is a feeling of contentment. My dependability factor over people has completely stopped. Like I have an invisible wall all around me which is protecting me from the harsh facts of my reality. And in the midst of these strong and mature changes comes Mma. I always told you that I would one day write an entire blog on Mma. I didn’t know it would be so soon. The reasons I chose to call this Blog entry M.A.M.M.A. is because even thought this is entry is my view on Mixed Martial Arts, it is also a way to tell you all that Mma for me is not only a sport but also a blanket of protection from the reality I am running away from. Just like a mother who protects her child from the cold wrapping him up in her arms, Mma is like a Mother for me also. Protecting me, nurturing me and taking care of me, when I need it the most …

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

-e. e. cummings

I have always been a sports guy. Whether it was dogdeball or relays in junior school or basketball and cricket while I was growing up, me and sports were always connected. Yes, I know I was the fat kid in school but that never stopped me from playing sports. Until the Match-Fixing bullshit, I was a devotee of Cricket. But since then, I haven’t looked at that sport the same way again. So through all the trials and errors and trying this and trying that, I finally came to a place in my life where I wanted more. The universe answered my prayers and then gifted me the joy of Mixed Martial Arts. At first I was looking to do some Boxing ‘cause I thought I needed to push my stamina and endurance to the next level. But when I tasted to sweet juice of Mma, I knew my life would never be the same again. That was that day and now, three years later, I am deeply rooted in the Mma pool. Back then I didn’t know the Ufc players or any the brands or the sponsors but since Chris Weidman, the current middleweight champion of the world knocked the living day lights out of Anderson Silva, I am up to date with everything. And thanks to Sony Six, I get to see the all the Ufc Fight Nights and Pay Per Views live as they happen. Being a sports fan, I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I feel when I see those matches live! And thanks to twitter and instagram, I now have many people who I can call my Social Mma Friends. I interact with them on a daily basis and it brings a joy to my face when exclusive Mma Gyms accounts on instagram reply to me and when Mma Quotes on twitter favourite my tweet and make me feel so special. You see, Mma is not only a sport for me. It has now become a way of life for me. And to be honest without Mma’s safety net on me, I don’t think I would had been this strong 

… 

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

-Philo

You ask me, why Mma in a country where 95% of the population are glued to their televisions for cricket. Well, it is because Mma not only is good for my fitness and cardio and flexibility, it is also a way for me to vent out my anger. It is a vent for me to let go of all of that hidden aggression that I have. I have always stated that I am a monster. And monsters always need something to fight for. For creatures like us, calmness is not an option. We feel more comfortable in pain that running away from it. And getting our asses kicked in every Mma session really pleases us. I really wanna thank Somesh Kamra from Mma India for introducing me to this sport. It is all because of him that I came to know what Mma truly is. And now, thanks to Ufc, Youtube and Xff, I get to train Mma everyday. I really wish and dream to see even India opening up it’s arms to Mma and giving people like us the pleasure to see those fights live on our soil. Even though that maybe just a joke for everyone right now, for me it is a hope I cling on too. I love Mma so much that now, even my wardrobe is filled with tees from Mma Warehouse. Believe it or not but everyday I make it a point to go to the website and see the latest arrivals of Mma Apparel. And between you and me, I have also decided that in the future, me wearing my Mma Tees will be my own style statement. For the ordinary it will only be a t-shirt but for the ones who are a part of the grind will know what those Tees mean. I read a Mma quote a while back which stated that, “Men have always been barbaric. We, in our true forms are fighters and warriors and whoever doesn’t accept that, is a coward.”  I completely agree with that because until I crossed paths with Mma, I, myself was a coward.

"Martial arts is not about fighting; it's about building character."

-Bo Bennett

Mma is not only a sport for me. It is also my protection shield from my own reality. Mma makes me forgot everything else and makes me live an alternative reality. People on twitter ask me questions about my life and some of them even send me hate tweets but little do they know how difficult it is to face the harsh truths of reality everyday. Before I WANTED the world to know my pain and I wanted everyone to lend me a helping hand. But now, since Mma has consumed me, I don’t need their sympathy or pity. I am busy in my own created alternative reality where I know I can’t be harmed. Whenever the fears of reality find a way to hurt me, I quickly close my eyes and enter my own ‘Mma World’ where I am not Mahaakshay Chakraborty anymore. And that really helps me. It is like my own imaginary pill which I take to make the demons go away. I don’t say One, Two, Three in my head. I say M M A and within seconds I am teleported to the gyms in america where I am just another regular joe who has come to train and where I am sparring of against my comrades who bleed Mma too. The universe has always given me signs and signals and I always have noticed them too. Believe it or not, just before I started writing this blog, I was surfing through my favourite tv channels and I saw that Ufc Fight Night was coming on Sony Six. I really do take this as a sign from the universe telling me to follow my bliss. Yes, Mma is bliss for me. It is joy and happiness all wrapped up in one long hard hour of training. Al though it is very difficult to find places in mumbai where Mma actually takes place, I somehow find a way to train. For example the gym in Malad has a Mma class. But the trainer over there sucks ass. He doesn’t know squat of Mma and he acts as if he knows it all. So now, me and my buddy henna, go and train by ourselves before that prick shows up and leave as soon as he arrives. When there is a will, there is a way and I know that until my time comes to shine on the big screen, Mma will always be my way to my happiness and joy and bliss. :-)

"Never stop. Never stop fighting. Never stop dreaming."

-Tom Hiddleston

I am very happy I wrote this blog on Mma. Through this blog, I have also said things which I knew I wouldn’t otherwise. I wanted to pass a message. Not only to the people but also to the universe and to fate and destiny. I want to say that I am stronger than I was when you first met me. I don’t want anymore emotional support. I am not dependant on anyone anymore. I have been blessed with the sport known as Mma and every time I put my straps on I am reminded of the hardships that I have faced and how strong I have been to overcome them. My brother Bhushan often tells me a lovely line to lift me up. He says, “One More Round Bhai. One More Round.” And I remember those lines every time I fall. I remember that fighting is what I do best and even though the future may not be the way I have planned it to be and even though that scares the crap out of me, I know I will always have Mma with me. I know I will always have those punching bags and knee pads and the blood and the sweat and tears waiting to greet me with open arms and embrace and protect me from what it is I am not willing to accept. I thank everyone and all those brave warriors who give up amazing fights for our entertainment. I thank the universe for showing me a way out and a vent to let out steam. I thank all the people who love Mma as much as I do. And I thank Mma for saving me ‘cause I know I need saving. I know I need a shelter. And I know I need a M .a .m .m .a like Mma to save me from the nightmares and demons that I face everyday. I know I will fall again. But I also know that I will rise again too. The Whip with which Fate tears my skin off is winning. It has managed to tear and break me down and I am now crawling towards to the end destination of my dreams. But Fate hasn’t broken my will. And I know one day Fate will be tired of lashing me. It will quit Punishing me and it will finally give me what I want. Today, I can say that it might not be what I dreamed off but whatever it is Fate and Destiny and the Universe plan to give me, I know I will be Deserving of it. 

"I'm not a fighter, but in my mind I'm fighting every day. 'What's new? What am I doing?' I'm fighting myself. My soul is samurai. My roots aren't samurai, but my soul is."

-Masaharu Morimoto

This is Me and This Is My Story With A Touch Of Mixed Martial Arts …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty. 

********************************************************************************************************