The Prison Of Paradise ...

It is written in Genesis that it took God 6 days to create the world and on the 7th day He called it Paradise. We all have our own version of paradise. This version is Mine. But before I begin I hope you guys are taking out time to read My Mini-Blogs which I post everyday. I am trying to be as frequent as I can with them during these Shooting Schedules of Mine and your response to them will mean a lot to Me as I am taking another step to come more closer to you all. And speaking of Shooting, My Shoot is going great. Even though the heat here is killing, we all are Filming amazing scenes everyday and since I am the youngest on the sets, I am always bullied. The same thing happened last time, when I was here for LOOT, so I guess it is kinda of a deja vu for Me. And I wanna wish everyone a Very Happy Eid as well. And now, we begin …

As you all know My Work is My Worship. I belong on the Movie Sets and Working gives Me the ultimate happiness in the world. So yes, this is My Happiness. This is My Joy. And this is My Paradise. I have been very lucky and blessed to get this Film and to be honest, everyday when I come on the Sets the only thing I pray is that I want this forever! I never want to stop Working and I wanna die with My Make-Up on. I know I ask a lot and whenever you ask for heavenly things, you have to answer to the heavens. And I do that everyday. Believe Me, I really try. I do whatever I can to keep My side of that promise. My eyes beg for 30mins of more sleep but I fight it, have My espresso Shots, get ready and be the 1st Actor on Sets, sometimes even before the unit arrives! After nearly 10hrs of working in the blazing heat, I still make My way to the Gym, even though My Body cries for Rest. Trust Me, it isn't easy. But I still carry on, for this is My Paradise and I wanna be locked in here forever …

We Actors get the chance to play many characters. Some times, we even get the chance to play Super Heroes. But today, I tell you that in real life, I am the biggest coward you will meet. I may kick-ass during My Mma Sessions but when it comes to accepting the harsh realities of life, I run away from them like a chicken on fire. I mean, I am petrified! Out there in the real world, there are so many people with so many notions about Me. People who hate Me and laugh behind My back. Out there, all My rivals are getting what they want while I still have to fight for it. Out there, all I hear is gossip and which guy is sleeping with whom and who dumped whom. A place where temptation and lust always win over love and control. Out there, everyone is fake and are more concerned about box-office collections than their own way of life. People are more insecure than confident about their relationships. That is a harsh world. A very harsh world. And if given a choice, I never want to go back to it. I want God to keep Me in this paradise, lock Me up and throw away the key forever …

In this Paradise of Mine, I am king. I am indestructible. Here no one can call Me names or call Me stuck up or repetitive. Here I have an identity for out there I am still struggling to find My place. In this beautiful prison of Mine, I don't miss anyone. I don't care and show concern and get hurt in return. In here, I am not seeking redemption but I am finding salvation. Out there, I am just a mere mortal who is more concerned to be accepted than to be appreciated but in here, I am more of a machine who makes up everyday, puts on his make-up and waits to hear the siren. I fear to go back. I tremble at the very fact to step into that world which is full of negativity and people not believing in miracles anymore. I never want to go back. I wanna stay right here in this beautiful prison. For many, this may be called a fantasy but I choose to accept this over the reality that reminds Me everyday that I am still not good enough. I rather be alone in this Prison Of Paradise than to be out there with people who will eventually leave …

You may find My words to be negative but trust Me, they are not. I am just being honest. I know I over-think but these words are written with a lot of observation as I always see My life from a 3rd person's point of view. What I wanna say is that I know what makes Me happy and what takes that happiness away from Me and I am no longer afraid of accepting My truth. I am a coward, yes. I am weak, yes. But in the same time, I know where I belong. And it is right here, in this Beautiful Prison of My Paradise. The question is, where do you?

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Paradise.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.