Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.
We all have demons. Trust me I know. My demons have been with me for ages and after a while, they are the only ones I had. I started to believe that being bad is the only way to be successful and to find true happiness. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Today, writing this blog, I realise how beautiful life is. And to be honest, it always was. I was a prick not to realise that. But hear I am, writing down my thoughts to make myself realise that life isn't all about the demons, it is about the angels as well. Before I use to see the mirror and only see a monster in it. A monster who wanted to burn the world because he was so angry all the time. A monster who forget that there is still a lot of good in him. A monster who wanted to believe that darkness is the only light there is. But today, after all these years I can proudly say that one by one, all of my demons are now coming to rest …
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
As you know I love playing video games. And a couple of years ago I was engrossed in one of the Splinter Cell games. In fact, it was my 1st attempt to finish it. I really loved playing the game and in the last stage of the campaign, Sam Fisher, the hero of the game comes face to face with the villain who takes controls of the white house and kills almost everyone inside it brutally. After sam aka me on the controller manages to kill all his goons, I have the trigger on the bad guy's head and the designers of the game, give me a choice whether to kill or not kill the bad guy. I choose option one and put a bullet through his head because that bastard deserved it. But here is where it gets tricky. At that moment, right before I was making that choice, something in my gut told me NOT to kill the bad guy. I guess that was the good in me which was awakened at that point of time. Today, if I have to play that game all over again I would surely choose not to kill the bad guy and do you know why? Because there is a difference between the good and the bad. The bad always kill but the good always prevail because they make the hard decisions. They show mercy even in the midsts of chaos because that is what makes you a man of the light not a man of the darkness. :-)
There is never time in the future in which we will work out our salvation. The challenge is in the moment; the time is always now.
Just for the record, I am still a hardcore fanatic of The Punisher and I always will be. Very few people in my life have made me the man I am today and The Punisher is one of them. But today, as all my demons are slowly coming to rest, I am understanding even Batman's point of view. You know, "It doesn't matter if this man is guilty, he still deserves a fair trial. I am a vigilante, yes but I am not an executioner." Those words wake me up at night because today they have meaning in my life. Today, the good has meaning in my life. Not the anger that engulfed me for all these years. I must say that in the war within, the good in me is finally winning and I am loving it that it is. As they say, all is well that ends well and if it is not well, then it is not the end. My perspective towards life has completely changed now and it has made me much more calmer in life. I am not angry anymore. In fact, I am just the opposite. I am myself now, with the people I know and with the people I don't. People with whom I interact with, tell Me that I glow now. And I feel it too. As hate makes you more darker, the goodness in you only makes you glow more brighter! :-)
Ignorance has always been the weapon of tyrants; enlightenment the salvation of the free.
If 2012 was the coming of age for me, then 2013 is surely the year I find my salvation. I am very spiritual but before all of my energy was focused on what I lacked than then on what I already have. Being grateful and cherishing the little and simple things in life has brought this change in me. And now, gratitude has become a part of my life. I believe gratitude is like holy water for the demons within me. It is helping me become more calm and much more relaxed in life. Don't take me wrong. Relaxed doesn't mean lazy. Relaxed just means that I trust the doing of the universe more now and as I mentioned in my previous blog, I firmly believe now that I am a part of the grand design of the universe. I smile and give my respects to whomever I met because you never know, that person really needed it. I greet everyone with respect and I request everyone to only focus on the good that they have in their lives. I am now promoting Rocky in Kolkatta. So I make sure that I give honest answers to the questions that I am asked and not put a fake pretence of being the perfect guy when I clearly wasn't. Giving love and respect is really working in my favour as almost everyone either is humming the 'Rocky Bhai' tune or coming up to me and blessing me for Rocky. Trust me, that feels really very good! :-)
Courage is a kind of salvation.
Everything in life is a process. And eventually, all that we do turns into a habit. I am right now somewhere there. I know that this change has come in me for a reason. I love Orange now. I believe in the power of love. And I practice gratitude because I know that there are many things I am grateful for. I see the good in others and I am making peace with my inner hate and step by step, I am putting my demons to rest because that is where they belong. They, themselves have suffered long enough. At one point my demons were the only ones I had. But now, they need to go back to where they came from. I know I am right where I belong and each day, I will only progress into a better future. I urge you all to see life from a different perspective too. The perspective which has more good than bad. There are so many things in life we can be grateful. Try it someday. You will be amazed by happy you will feel. Hate doesn't make us strong. Love in the face of adversity does. We all have a choice you see. And I choose not to pull the trigger now … :-)
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am now The Good Guy … :-)
With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.
P.S. Be The Light.
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