"We All, At Some Point Of Our Lives, Want To Run Away From Our Realities. The Question Is Where Do We Escape Too? A Place Of Prosperity Or A Place Of Destruction."
- Mahaakshay Chakraborty.
As I sit right here, in front of my iMac. I realise that time waits for none. And this is how reality is. Every morning I wake up in this reality. A reality which offers me the simple pleasures of life and also the demons of it's brutal truth. A reality which I tell myself that will one day change for the better. I try to fight the voices in my head. I try to keep them at bay. Sometimes they win. Sometimes I do. At times I sleep like a baby and at times I can't sleep for days because of the fear that catches up with me. I keep on asking myself the same questions over and over again. I would love to share those questions with all of you too. But I am not ready. For a part of me, it will be a show of weakness and for the other side of me, it will be sheer defeat. I fight. Damn it, I fight. Even right now, I am fighting. I want to survive. I want to win. But Life is cruel sometimes. It teases you. It gives you hope and then takes it away. When I have asked friends why this happens, they say, "All happens for the good and in time you will get what you deserve." But they don't understand what I am going through. All those thoughts of fear, insecurity and doubt creep in eventually. They make me weak and they make me question my morals. So what does a man do when all doors are closed for him? What does he do when the world turns it's back on him? When no one understands him? He either gives in or finds ways to become better. This 'Become Better' method has been embedded in me since I guess, the dawn of time and maybe that is why I found a solution. Well, a temporary solution. I found my escape routes. I found My Safe Havens ...
- Mahaakshay Chakraborty.
As I sit right here, in front of my iMac. I realise that time waits for none. And this is how reality is. Every morning I wake up in this reality. A reality which offers me the simple pleasures of life and also the demons of it's brutal truth. A reality which I tell myself that will one day change for the better. I try to fight the voices in my head. I try to keep them at bay. Sometimes they win. Sometimes I do. At times I sleep like a baby and at times I can't sleep for days because of the fear that catches up with me. I keep on asking myself the same questions over and over again. I would love to share those questions with all of you too. But I am not ready. For a part of me, it will be a show of weakness and for the other side of me, it will be sheer defeat. I fight. Damn it, I fight. Even right now, I am fighting. I want to survive. I want to win. But Life is cruel sometimes. It teases you. It gives you hope and then takes it away. When I have asked friends why this happens, they say, "All happens for the good and in time you will get what you deserve." But they don't understand what I am going through. All those thoughts of fear, insecurity and doubt creep in eventually. They make me weak and they make me question my morals. So what does a man do when all doors are closed for him? What does he do when the world turns it's back on him? When no one understands him? He either gives in or finds ways to become better. This 'Become Better' method has been embedded in me since I guess, the dawn of time and maybe that is why I found a solution. Well, a temporary solution. I found my escape routes. I found My Safe Havens ...
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
What are safe havens? They are places where we can go and feel secured. For me, they are more than that. My safe havens are my escapes from my reality. They make me feel happy and whenever I am there I forget all the worries of the world and I am lost in their magical powers and not even an inch of me wants to come back from there because there, I am not judged. I am not condemned. I am not hated. There, I am all by myself and my mind is in sync with my body and my body is in sync with my soul. My safe havens offer me peace. Offer me a sense of relish. At my safe havens, I know I only evolve. I only grow and there I only get better. Where are these safe havens you ask? Ha ha! Don't get your imaginations soaring now! They aren't like the floating city in Bioshock Infinite, neither they are the the state of trance you feel when you meditate. My Safe Havens are My Activities. Yes! My Activities, my hobbies, the things I do to keep my mind busy. Things which require my mind and body to always be attuned. Come on now, don't give me that "Huh?" expression. This blog is for My Safe Havens and in the following paragraphs, I am going to explain to you how my hobbies have now become my Safe havens ...
Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
Haven No.1:
My Training. Yes. Whether it was Mma till a month ago or the 'Balls-To-Your-Mouth' routine with My new awesome coach Raj, My Training has always been my greatest stress reliever and the best part of training is that it takes up nearly half my day and whenever I step into 48 fitness gym or start running in the treadmill or see the disco lights in the spinning room, I know I am going to have one hell of a time because during training, I am only progressing. When I feel the sweat flowing down my forehead, when my muscles are pumped with blood, I know I am at my haven. And the sounds of dumbbells dropping and others screaming in agony when they life heavy metal, those sounds and things make me feel at peace. So yes, My Training is My Haven No.1. :-)
Haven No.2:
My Video games. As I have mentioned before I am a big gamer and I love everything about video games. And in one recent study, scientists have said that video games help reduce stress and help people relax. That is exactly what happens to me whenever I catch the Ps3 remote. I know that the following 60mins is gonna be filled with excitement, thrills and an adrenaline rush! And sometimes, when I am completely hooked on to the game, I even loose track of time! And since the dawn of time, there have been many things that I haven't dealt with and I know a part of me is always angry because of that. But video games really help to calm the beast within me. And as I mentioned in a few blogs earlier, there is something darkly good to kill and burn your enemies when you are playing video games. So yes, My Video games are My Safe Haven No.2. :-)
Haven No.3:
My Books. Since january, I have got this crazy thirst to read books. Not fiction but rather Non-fiction. Whether it was No Easy Day, Total Recall, Dream After Dreams or Dongri To Dubai which I just finished a few days back, non-fictions have caught me by the hook and I don't wanna let go. Fictions always made me imagine stuff but these great Non-Fictions make me relive all these moments and incidents which I read. It is like I am there and all of this is unfolding in front of me! And I make it a point to carry my 'Currently-Reading' book wherever I go and since Mumbai is filled with traffic everywhere, reading a good book after my voice practice during the jams is a great way to reach a place of complete concentration and also a place where my mind can't be disturbed. So yes, Books are My Safe Haven No.3. :-)
You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.
There are many more safe havens that I have in my life. Whether it is watching Movies, playing with my pets and even blogging, they all contribute to make me feel good and give me hope when I bounce back to reality. For the record, I am not broken. Well, not yet. I still have a lot of fight left in me and until I can, I will fight. I still have many dreams that I wish that come true. And the dreams that top that list is me living my life the way I want too. Me travelling the world and me finally fulfilling my destiny. I know that one day I will see all these beautiful dreams turn into reality and then I will only cry in happiness. But until those dreams come true and I am where I want to be and until my reality bitch slaps me every 5mins I know I have my safe havens to go too. I am proud of my safe havens because I am not ashamed to admit that even I need some running away. Even if that running away is an hour of training or a few stages in a video game or some chapters in a book. So before I go I only ask this one question. Do You Have Your Safe Havens?
It is vain for the coward to flee; death follows close behind; it is only by defying it that the brave escape.
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And These Are My Safe Havens.
With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.
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