The God Of War ...

"The Day, When I Am At The Top Of The Mountain. When I Have It All. The Day When I Am Asked, How Did You Make It So Far? ... I Will Tell Them That It Wasn't Through Compassion Or Love. But Through Battles And Wars."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

I guess in our lives, all of us had our chats with God. You know, our private sessions. Our One-On-Ones. Our secrets to share and our sins to forgive. We all have at least once in our lives spoken to god. Whether it was for peace, wealth, fame or love. We all have asked for help. I know this because I have been one of them. My life, like everyone's else's, has been a struggle of ups and downs. Good days and bad. So I know and relate to all of you in some way or another. But this blog isn't about my conversations with god. You see, when I asked him all my questions, he didn't reply back and I felt kinda hurt by that. I know he has the whole universe to take care of but I still felt that he abandoned me. I know I am in a safe and better position than many others who are in worse. But I am not comparing myself to those people now. To be honest, I find them to be more tougher than I am. Being in worser conditions and still believing in their dreams and never giving up. I salute them for this. But again, this blog isn't about them either. This blog is a reflection or an inspired version of a conversation I had with a God sometime back. Which God you ask? Well, I am talking about Ares. The God Of War. Yes, I know I may sound cuckoo to you now but I assure you that by the end of this blog, you will know why I did and what I did it for. You see, sometimes, god doesn't come knocking on your door to rescue you. Sometimes you have to knock on a few doors yourself. And sometimes, it isn't God that opens the door for you. Sometimes, it is someone else completely. So my fellow readers, below is my Conversation with the God Of War ...

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

-Winston Churchill

Me: Hello Ares, It Is Me.

Ares: Welcome. Oh should I say, welcome back. You have been gone for a while.

M: Yes My Lord. I was gone. In fact, I left. And I thought I would never come back. I ... I thought I would have a normal life. I had thought that I could prosper with love and purity.
A: And what did you learn by embarking on this 'new' path of yours?
M: At first, I felt I had changed. I felt the change in me also. I met people who I started calling my friends. I felt better and much at peace and I thought that it was wrong for me to hate. But now ...
A: Now? What is it that you feel? Tell me, what is it that you feel?
M: I ... I feel empty my lord. I feel like a ghost who is a part of the mist. Who is not here and neither there. I feel like an empty vessel.
A: So, you have come to me for help huh? You come to me 'cause no one else was helping you. Isn't it?
M: No my lord. It isn't because of that. I have returned to you because something in me was telling me too. Like, it was guiding me to you. Like it wanted to be a part of you again.
A: Your words flatter me mortal. But they don't impress me. You know who I am, don't you? I am The god Of War. I am Ares. I bring Chaos and Death and Misery to all who summon me. Even My Father Zeus is against my tactics. And you are just a mortal. I can squash you right now or make you burn in the underworld for a 1,ooo millenniums.
M: You are right to Punish me, my lord. I should had never left you. I beg you to show me mercy and to take me back. I beg you to save me.
A: Save you? Ha! Ha! Ha! You amuse me mortal. I can't save you. I can only damn you to war. I can only bring you battles and war. Is that what you want? Is that what you truly want?
M: YES. Yes, my lord. That is what I want. I want battles and fights. And I want a War that will never end. A. War. That. Never. Ends.
A: For a mortal, you are very good with your words. Ok. I will grant you your wish. But first you to accept this. Accept this completely. Without hesitation or count. Pure acceptance. And trust me mortal, once you accept there will be no going back. Do you accept?
M: YES. I accept.
A: Ok. Then let us begin.

"The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

A: Do you know what war is?
M: Yes, it is place of warriors and men of steel.
A: True. But war is more than that. Do you want me to explain?
M: Yes my lord. Please.
A: War is a place for the wicked. It is a place where all the good and evil come together for their judgement. It is a place where all humanity is lost. It is a place where men shed their clothes of sheep and roar as lions. It is a place where hell is born. A dark place where innocence is lost. A place no man ever wants to see. A place of horrors. Not the horrors of human flesh and rotten bodies but the horrors that possess within the souls of every man. War is a place where you know who you truly are. Where you aren't fighting the enemy. It is a place where you are fighting yourself. I have seen war. I created it 'cause I realised the human need for it. Since the dawn of man, man has made spears to kill and used hands to strangle. Man, is my ultimate weapon. And sooner or later, all men are lead to war. Some wear uniforms. Some give in to their own monsters. That is the true meaning of War. That is what War is. The Killer of Man and his innocence.
M: I have always felt drawn towards it my lord. Like a calling. Like there is something out there waiting for me. But I never fully understood it. I never really could come around it. But now I know what it was. It was the calling of war.
A: How did you realise this was your calling mortal?
M: It is because instead of looking for answers outside, I searched within me.
A: Yes. That is the only way you will ever know who you are.
M: But my lord, I have seen people change through love. I have seen love make monsters into men. I have seen Hulks and Beasts become Givers and Saints. Then why not me, my lord? Why did I come back?
A: You were always meant for this mortal. Ever since you were born, you were chosen for this path. You were chosen by me.
M: Really my lord? You chose me? What was so special in me that you saw?
A: I saw power in you. True power. A power that doesn't come from love. But a power that comes from darkness. From a place of purity. And that is why I chose you.
M: But my lord, if you chose me, then why did you let me go away?
A: I let you go because I wanted you to realise yourself who it is that you truly are. No god or man or love or friend or family or foe can show you that. You alone had to make this journey to realise who you truly are. And you see, here you are. Where it all began. Where you truly belong.
M: Then why all the hardships my lord? Why all the anguish and struggles and pain and guilt?
A: Those were your trials. Those were your tests. To see whether you break or not. 'Cause what I have planned for you is far more than you can ever imagine.
M: You are right my lord. I am more of a man today than the day I left you. Life has taught me many a things but the one thing I have understood completely is that we are who we are and one way or another, we always come home. We always come back full circle. We always come to our beginnings.
A: Yes. And now you are ready.
M: Ready? Ready for what my lord?
A: To become like me. To become The God Of War.

"If we don't end war, war will end us."

-H. G. Wells

M: What?!? Me! And The God Of War? How my lord?
A: It is because I believe in you. And there is something about you. Something my father Zues said that I possessed when I was just a boy. He saw it in my eyes.
M: What was it that he saw?
A: He say emptiness in me. An emptiness he knew that could never be filled with love. But an emptiness that could only be filled with War.
M: You are right my lord. I tried to love. I tried to forgive. And I tried to forget. But when I did all those things, I felt something dying in me. I could hear a 1,000 screams from within me. Like they were burning. At first I thought I got rid of my demons. That I was a free man. But then I realised I wasn't a free man. I was a nobody. I was a body without a soul. A Voice without a sound. A Food without a taste. I was a man without purpose. Love took the one thing that mattered to me. Love took away my purpose. And then one day I closed my eyes and searched within. I searched deep within to find the answers. To know who I truly was. And then, suddenly, in a flash of a second I saw it. That glowing fire out their in the horizon. And I heard my calling. I heard my calling for War. It was like nothing I had heard before. There was a sanity to this siren. There was a disturbing peace to it.
A: Yes. It is because you heard Purity. You heard the Call Of War. Not the call of Hate.
M: Are Hate and War two separate things?
A: Of course they are! Hate is for Hades. He feeds on fear and despair. I feed on War. At first, when you had come to me, you were a young boy. Silly and Confused. You didn't know the difference between Hate and War. That is why you went and hurt others. You took pleasure in their pain 'cause you thought your pain would mean something if you saw others in pain too. But then one day, you grew up. And you started to see the difference. You saw Hate only gives you more hate. But War ... War gives you power.
M: But the world won't understand this, would they? If I ever try to make them understand my story, on why I chose War, they will cast me out. Wouldn't they?
A: The world and the people in it only cast out and banish the things they don't fully understand.
M: Yes. That is why I always felt they never understood me. They cared for me. They loved me. But somehow they could never fill me up. They could never solve the riddle that is me. They always left me emptier. Always with a bigger hole in my heart. Always with more despair than joy. And that is why I want to be heard. I want the world to listen. Even if they don't understood, I want them to listen.
A: I understand what you are gong through. And I will grant you your wish mortal. I will mould you and design you and make you my weapon of justice. I will give you scars, wounds and bruises. I will give you pain which will only make you stronger. I will give you a war that never ends. But know this, what you ask for comes with a great price and sacrifice. Are you willing to accept this?
M: YES.
A: I knew you would say that.

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others."

-Niccolo Machiavelli

A: What you ask is of grave importance mortal. Many have tried to walk this journey but only a handful have reached the other side.
M: I am willing to accept whatever it is you have to offer me my lord. I have reached this juncture of my life where I know finally, without a shadow of a doubt, who it is I truly am. I am a Soldier of War. I am a Monster. A Beast. A Man Who wants to taste his own blood and drown in it. I know pain only satisfies me. I know this journey is mine and mine alone and what I ask from you will rip away all the shreds of normality I have left. But I need it my lord. I need this fire. This burning demon in me. I want him to awaken and make me burn in his wrath. I want to wake up everyday with that power. With that indestructible force of the god of war. I want to live again. And I know that the only way I can do that is by kneeling down to you.
A: What you seek is power. True power. And true power only comes when you are tested. And I will test you. I will take away all that love you possess. I will rip away your reality and make you bound to the fires of war. You will be alone again. You will be in darkness. All the ones who love you will hate you again. They will fear you. They will leave you. For they will not understand you. You will be my servant. And I will treasure you. I will feed in your battles and I will relish in your pain. I will make you go through suffering like you have never imagined. I will take you back to your darkness and destroy all the light. But I swear I will not abandon you. I will make you my weapon. You will become the greatest man that ever walked the earth. One day a time will come when I will show you to the world and they will be in awe of you. All will bow down to you and even the gods will notice you. Zeus himself will come down from olympus and praise you. I will make you my greatest tool. I will make you a God Of War.
Me: End my suffering my lord. Make me return to the fire. Give me a War that Never Ends. Show me the way. Answer my prayers. Hear my calling. Give me what I want. Make me who I truly am.
Ares: Pray And You Shall Receive, My Student. Ask And You Shall Be Given, My Son. Seek And Shall Find. My God Of War.

This Is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And I Am ... The God Of War.

With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"In peace, sons bury their fathers. In war, fathers bury their sons."

-Herodotus

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Superman Will Come ...

"We All Are Human. No Matter How Crude, Selfish Or Evil Our Choices Or Circumstances Make Us, We Are Human. And If We All Are One Under God, Then We All Need Saving. We All Need Our Saviours. We All Need Our Super Mans."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty

There was once a boy. A very long time ago. He was just like you and me. A boy who had many dreams and aspirations. A boy who wanted to grow up and be just like you and me. This boy did have a normal childhood. You know, school and tuitions and friends and the stuff. He wasn't popular or good-looking. But he wasn't that bad either. He was the kid who liked everyone. And he always wanted to be liked by others as well. He tried his best to fit in but fate didn't want that for him. He had friends and family who loved him and who were there for him. But as time went by and this boy started growing up he started to see the world from a completely different point of view. He in a way 'Woke Up' from his imaginary world and started to see that this world and especially the people in it who weren't as nice as they seem. And piece by piece, his world came crashing down. And when that happened, this boy cried. And he cried a lot 'cause the people who were known to be his friends left him and the ones who he thought were family back stabbed him. He understood that in order to survive in this world even he has to become selfish. And so the boy who only wanted love became the boy who started thinking only about himself. But even though the devil had corrupted him and his pain was the only thing that drived him ahead, there was a voice in him. A voice which was still connected to god. And even though that voice was now only a whisper somewhere deep in him, this boy could sense that voice. And he later realised that this voice was Hope. Hope calling out at him and telling him that God hasn't forgotten him. That God still loves him. And if he clings on to this Hope, one day everything is going to be alright. And one day his Superman Will Come ...

"In each individual the spirit is made flesh, in each one the whole of creation suffers, in each one a Savior is crucified."

-Hermann Hesse

So who is Superman? For the world He is The Man Of Steel. A Saviour sent to us from the Heavens. He is the one of the greatest Super Heroes we have. And even for this boy Superman was his Hero. This boy really loved Superman. He used to dress up as him and read all his Comics and watch his Films. And every night he would look up at the stars and gaze at them and he used to wait. He would wait for his Superman to come. Every night, without fail, he would gaze up and wait for him. He was convinced that Superman Will Come for him. And in this wait many years went by and this boy saw the world change in front of him. Friends became enemies. Enemies became friends. Dictators were over-run by the leaders of the free world. People uniting for causes and killing each other for others. He saw life unfold in a way he didn't expect. And when this boy started his journey of becoming a man he saw that in order to succeed he became a very selfish human being. He started hurting others and never repented for it. He thought this was his ticket to success. That Hate is more powerful than love and we can only achieve success by taking things from others, not earning them on our own. For many years he walked on this evil path and before he knew it, he forgot that he used to gaze at the stars. He stopped waiting for His Superman. And then this boy realised that he stopped believing in the one man that was his hero. This boy walked down that path of darkness so far, that he was afraid that he would never see the light again. But then, one night, when the night sky was as bright as day, he went and gazed at the stars again. He looked up and said sorry. He was sorry that he forgot. He was sorry that he was so angry. He was sorry that he was selfish. But before he left the stars to do their twinkling he told them that underneath all that hate, he was still that little boy who was waiting for His Superman ...

"When our Heavenly Father placed Adam and Eve on this earth, He did so with the purpose in mind of teaching them how to regain His presence. Our Father promised a Savior to redeem them from their fallen condition."

-Ezra Taft Benson

Many years passed by. This boy started to change. He started becoming a better person. He left his darkness. He went on the path of redemption. More than success, he started looking for forgiveness 'cause he had to let go of the burden of guilt that he carried. This boy wanted to change and change for the better, for the rest of his life. Every day he would get up and promise god that he would be a better person than he was yesterday. And this boy tried. He tried a lot. And as time passed, he started to see the changes. He started meeting people who really loved him. His sins started to dissolve and slowly he started seeing the light. He felt the glow in his heart. And again, as a ritual he started visiting the stars. And again, he started waiting for his superman. The more he waited, the more his faith grew. And so did his dreams. That little child in him, who had those grand dreams awakened again. And this boy started to see the beauty in everything and also the beauty in his dreams. He started to smile and started to believe again. Hope returned to him and with each passing moment this boy only became better. And one day, his friends asked him, "Why do you go up and look at the stars like that?" And he said, "I look at them 'cause I am waiting for My Superman to come." His friends laughed at him. They all thought he was childish and crazy. And they told him that there is no such thing as superman in real life! He is only a comic book hero. But he just looked at them and smiled 'cause within him his voice told him to always have hope 'cause one day his superman would come ...

"Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. It is the sharp and keen awareness that our behavior caused the Savior, He who knew no sin, even the greatest of all, to endure agony and suffering."

-Ezra Taft Benson

Life went steady for this boy then. He met many people. Some were nice. Some were nicer. But all had one thing in common. The practicality of life. None of them believed in what the boy believed in. But that didn't matter to him. He continued to pursue his dreams. And he felt that very soon they will be within his grasp. But Fate didn't want it that way and with one harsh blow, Fate took everything away from this boy. It crushed his dreams. It destroyed his faith and left him alone. And he was all alone. And when he was alone, all made fun of him and his dreams and his beliefs and they told him that they were right. 'Cause even in his darkest hour, His Superman didn't come to save him. And even though the boy was hurt, he made a promise to himself that he will never hate again. He will never walk in the path of darkness again. And so the boy stood up again and started walking. Again, towards the directions of his dreams. It was very tough for this boy 'cause no one still believed in him. And the world forgot about him. They didn't care whether he was alive or dead. They moved on. But the boy kept walking. The boy never stopped gazing at the stars. And everyday he would look at them and wait. And wait for his superman to come. This boy still walks you know. Even though there are times when he feels very alone and defeated he still walks because he believes one day everything is going to be ok. One day, even he will be saved. one day, this pain will go away. One day, his prayers will be answered. And One Day, His Superman Will Come ...

"If you were not a sinful, polluted, helpless, and miserable creature, this Savior would not be suited to you, and you would not be comprehended in his gracious invitations to the children of men."

-Archibald Alexander

Today, if you see this boy you will be surprised by his appearance. And at first you may think and guess, why does this boy needs saving? This boy today smiles and greets everyone he meets. He gives respect to all and avoids doing the wrong things in life. This boy may look like he needs nothing but if you look closely, he still needs saving. He still needs his superman. This boy may not go to temples, churches or mosques but he still looks up at the heavens. He is still alone. He is still silently screaming. He is still in pain. 'Cause it gets hard for him. But this boy never gives up. He gets up every time he falls. 'Cause this boy is still a believer and hope is still attached to him. Today when people still make fun of him and his superman, he stills smiles back at them. When they ask him, "Where is your superman?", he replies by saying, "He is coming. He is just running a little late. You see, he hasn't forgotten me. He is superman. he has got the world to save. But he will come. And until he comes, I will wait for him. I will fight all the obstacles that lay in my path. I will fight my hate. I will see the good in everything. I will love more. And I will stumble and fall and cry but I will still walk ahead. I will still believe in my dreams. I will pay the price for the pain I have caused. I will carry the burden of my sins. I will still believe in the beauty of my dreams. And I will everyday gaze at the heavens and wait for him. 'Cause one day he will write my name in the clouds. one day, he will come. He will come and save me. 'Cause I am human, just like all of you and even I have the right to be happy. Even I have the right to be loved and to be cared. Even I have the right to succeed. And even though none of you believe in you, I will always believe in myself. I will cry countless nights and sometimes the pain will be unbearable to bare but I will never quit. 'Cause I will always have My Hope. I will always My faith. And that is something you can never take away from me. And I pity all of you 'cause when you grew up, you killed that little dreamer in you. That little child who believed in his heroes. Who believed in miracles. He saw the beauty in everything. My Little Child is still within me and he stills waits for his Superman and he and I both know that one day Superman Will Come."

Superman. Will. Come.

Yes. He. Will. :-)

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty. And I never knew that, that Boy was Me.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"We All Need Saving. Some Way Or The Other. We All Need Our Saviours."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

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