The Missing Link ...

Be Daring, Be Different, Be Impractical, Be Anything That Will Assert Integrity Of Purpose And Imaginative Vision Against The Play-It-Safers, The Creatures Of The Common Place, The Slaves Of The Ordinary. 

- Cecil Beaton 

I know I am late in My entry. Many things have been going on in My mind and a lot of preparations to be done before the 2nd schedule of Rocky. I start Filming in a week's time. I Have so much to do. I will always have so much to do. But this isn't about that. This is about the dream I had recently. And an old friend of Mine visited Me there and this is what he said ... 

You are searching for something. Yes, you am. Something that you had before but now is lost in the wilderness of normality. You knew how it felt. To have that power. To have that feeling. You are still looking for it. You are searching for it. No, it's not love. Love broke your heart years ago. No, it is not the Social charisma. No, this is something else. What is it? What is it that you yearn for so much? What is it that you truly crave for? You are finding that missing link, aren't you? Your true purpose. A purpose that you miss so much. You know what it is. Inside of you, deep down in the darkness of your soul, you have felt it once. You have tasted it. You want it again, don't you? Yes you do. You always did ...

I know You have tried to be normal. So many times you have tried and tried and tried. But in the end, the result is always the same. You feel empty. Don't you? Whether it's birthday celebrations, or a gathering of friends you always knew there was something missing in you, wasn't it? You felt left out. Like you didn't belong. You put up this face.  A face of the boy next door because you have too. You do it because you think you have a chance for redemption. Of the things you have done. And for the things that you are about to do. You think there is an escape root for people like you. No Mahaakshay, there isn't. There never was. Once you taste the purity of the madness inside of you, once you embrace who you are, there is no going back. And you know that. Somehow, you always knew. They will try to change you. To make you believe in love and the goodness the world has to offer. But they don't see what you see. You have seen greater horrors than them and what scares you the most is that you have enjoyed it. You enjoyed every moment of it ...

You miss it, don't you? Oh I know you do. Without the fight, you are as good as dead. You have been fighting all of your life. And after a while, you didn't even realise that you have fallen in love with this fight and now, fighting is what defines you. They won't understand. They never will. Sure, they all have their own battles to fight but this isn't about them. This is about you. This is about your missing link. Something god took away from you. And now, you want it back. Don't you? You want your War. A war that will never end. You wanna play Soldier and be their, at the Battlefield and lay down hell on your enemies and you don't want to ever stop. You wanna be a War Machine. Yes, I know you want too. But you know what the world will call you right? They will call you a godless monster. A man lost in his own madness. A man who doesn't deserve his redemption. You will become the outcast. The lone wolf and no one will ever love you because you will become the thing they fear the most. You will become One with Yourself. You will become the one who will truly embrace himself. You will become Pure ...

War junkie? That is what you want to become? Isn't it? You had your war once. You were good at it. You enjoyed it. You loved it. But now, it's gone, isn't it? And now, you want it back because you miss it. You miss your war because you know it completes you. You are in love with Blood, Sweat and Tears. You love pain. That feeling of sacrifice. The purity in the madness. You crave for your own Darkness. The world will never understand. It was never supposed too. You were always the lone wolf. You were always meant to be alone. This is your curse. But your curse is also your power. It is also your greatness. It will make you the man you were born to become. You know that now. You know who you are. You know your true origins. And now, you know what the missing link is. What your true purpose is. It is War. It was always War. That sweet, never-ending War. 

They will never understand you Mahaakshay. In the end, you know how the credits will roll. You will drive off, towards the sunset. You will look for another battle to fight. You will look for another War. There is no end to this madness. But you want this, don't you? Yes you do. I know you do. I see how empty you are without it. Your friends will think you are crazy. They will even laugh behind your back but you know that no matter how many times you try to 'fit in' or be 'normal' you will never be any of those things because you are different. You are the odd one out. There is a monster inside of you who is hungry. And that hunger will never stop. No matter how many times you feed the beast, it will always want more. But I don't have to say all these things to you, do I? Because you gave in to this monster a very long time ago. Didn't you? You are far down that road now and you know, there is no going back now. But your Monster is asleep now, isn't it? You want Me to wake him up? I can and I will. But promise Me one thing, that you will never stop craving. Always want more. I will give you, your war. I will return you to your madness. I will give you, your missing link back. Just promise Me that you will never stop. And I will give you, your war. A War that will never end ...

... Sometimes, I don't have all the answers My readers. Sometimes I don't know what to say. But they say our Dreams fulfil our wishes. They show us the way and they sometimes even give us the answers ...

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this time I don't know how to conclude this story. I hope, maybe you do ...

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.