Just Another Blog Entry?

"Those Who Talk Just Blabber. Those Who Express Understand."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

First things first. I am very happy that I have resumed my weekly blogging sessions. I don't know how good it is for you to read them but for me it is weekly cleansing process and every time I write a new entry I feel light, energised and ready for another day. I, myself don't know why I stopped writing these entries in the middle but the past is the past and I am happy that I am back to it and with the way my Training Sessions are, Tuesday looks like the best day of the week to express my thoughts. I just hope they are as good as to read as they are for me when I type. Over the past few days I have been thinking what should be next blog entry. A lot of thinking went into it. I don't know why. I somehow feel I owe it to my blogs and to my readers that every time I give them something more than my previous entry. So that is why this week I decided that the blog will be called, "Just Another Blog Entry?" Why you ask? Well, because in the lines below you will see that I am just trying to express the current state of my well-being and also my training sessions and the thoughts and experiences I have had in the previous week. So instead of pin-pointing on a subject or a topic I wanted to just say anything and everything that come in my head and in the end, I want You, My Readers to decide whether this is just another blog entry ... or something more.

"We live in a society obsessed with public opinion. But leadership has never been about popularity."

-Marco Rubio

I believe life is full of choices and it is these choices that shape our destiny not our chances. Lately, I have been asking people the very same questions I asked the person before them. "What is it that you really want from life?" "Why are you so confused?" "What are your priorities?" "Will you finally make a choice and stick to it?" I know I have made a choice. And I also know that whenever we choose anything in life we have to, as mature and concerned adults, wager the pros and cons. I did my wager and that is why I decided to stick to the path of training. This path is giving me fruitful results and I can see these changes happen each day and thus I know I am one step closer to my goal. I remember My dad telling me to Prioritise my life. He told me to ask myself what is the most important thing in my life and once I had that answer that I should put every ounce of my energy to that particular objective. Back then I didn't fully do this but since June I have been doing it and I can proudly say that I am on the right path. Yes, I know you may question me what is the con smart ass? Well, the con is that I have let go of all my other ties. Whether it is society, friends or even love. I have closed all those doors and I am trying hard to keep it that way. Trust me, it isn't easy. I have stopped going to malls and restaurants and I make sure that even my diet foods and groceries are sent home. I have made a promise to myself that until work calls me, I will not go anywhere else except my 2 gyms, {48 Fitness for Weight Training and Cardio and One Fitness for my Mma Classes} my office and my home.  It is like a promise I have given to my goal and every time I keep that promise I know I have paid respects to my goal, to my objective, to my mission. Yes, the response from the world hasn't been that heart-warming. But as I said, I have made my choice and chosen my priority and I am going to stick to it, no matter what the cost.

"To be a tennis champion, you have to be inflexible. You have to be stubborn. You have to be arrogant. You have to be selfish and self-absorbed. Kind of tunnel vision almost."

-Chris Evert

Since we are having an uncut conversation and since I have left you to decide whether this is me just writing or trying to express something, I want to have another confession. I take my own sweet time writing my blogs. The process is something I really cherish. I put on the iMac, download all the app updates, check a few websites and put on itunes. Then, after every paragraph, I leave the computer for 5mins and come back to write the next paragraph. I know that this isn't rocket science but this is a pattern I have been following for sometime now and I just thought you should know. But right now, my right shoulder is in terrible pain. This pain was even their these last week but today it went to the peak and because of the pain I had to cancel one chest exercise. Even though my coach said it is ok I am feeling very guilty about it, the same way I am feeling guilty of not running for 5kms in under 30mins like how I always do after weight-training. But today my coach told me not to be obsessed with weight training, the same way the Mma India Chief, Somesh Kamra told me yesterday in Mma Class that I am 'Over-Doing' it. Should I take these words as advice or as compliments? To be honest I am now only focused on the healing of my shoulder 'cause tomorrow I have 25 sets of Lats plus Cardio plus Stretching plus Mma in the evening and I know that in mostly all the exercises My shoulders have to be strong and without pain. I think a nerve is swollen. Anyways, I have taken my medicines and I hope the night's sleep will help me recover. Am I really obsessed you ask? Well, all I can answer is that I am focused and I have never had this Fire burning in me before, and now, since it is burning bright, I will do whatever it takes to keep it burning. 

"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."

-Confucius

Right now, only one thing keeps me going. And that is my target. What is my target you ask? Well, I believe Actions Speak Louder than words and when the time comes you all will know what it is. But as i mentioned earlier, this path isn't an easy one. It is filled with challenges. Challenges that I face everyday. I meet so many people in the gyms I go. Before these people were the ones I considered as my friends and people who shared my same passions but now I can't stand them. I am so mad at them. I just can't stand the sight of them. I think it is because my priorities have changed or maybe I have just become more grumpier. But the more I drown in the world of training and weights and pain and sweat I am beginning to understand that there is no one out there who is like me or at least in the gyms I go. I see people putting on stylish caps and cool shoes and head phones in the gym and do their own mumbo-jumbo but these same people don't have even an extra minute to put the weights back to the rack. They dis-respect the gym and that is something that I can't see. I, in between my sets go and put the weights back not to prove a point but just to give respect to the things that are changing my body. I mean I can choose not too but then I will be just like them. Won't I? My coach abuses me and yells at me whenever I do that but something in me tells me to pay homage. I guess I am spiritual that way. I mean, even I want to interact and talk to these new people but my code and promise stop me. They remind me of my goal and I suddenly without anyone's notice go into a corner and for recovery open the animalapk diaries and read them. Those diaries are the only thing I relate too when I am at my place of worship and when I see people just tear it apart. Either by throwing the weights around or by showing their supremacy by doing things I am not allowed too. As I said, this path isn't an easy one but I know that with each rep successfully done, I am one step closer to my goal.

"Lets have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it."

-Abraham Lincoln

The same goes when I go for my Mam classes. As I mentioned last time that the 'ladies group' has come and practically made the brutal mma class into a beginner's class, I know that the gym will not do anything to alter their incoming business they are getting with the extra cash which comes from such classes and they won't even fix the damn reception AC, but use the fans for their own instead of giving some air to us members. Yes, my frustration is at peak when I see people just come for the heck of it and consider Mma as just another 'Group Class' instead of understanding how amazing it is. I see people come every time and quit after the first 30 seconds of each drill instructed to us. I get so angry at these people that instead of doing the exercise given they sit and laugh and joke. None of them take the class seriously. Trust me, you have no idea what level of patience I have to bear when I see something I love so deeply get shamed by people who don't even have an ounce of respect for it. I am sorry, I am old school. I come from a place where honour still means something. Where that word still holds value. So at times, I remember my code and try to keep calm. So many a times I have been laughed upon when I have tried explaining to people what my code really is. They think I have a stick up my ass but the truth is that this 'Code' of mine is the only thing that keep me mentally sane in this insane world and weirdos I meet everyday. My 'Code' hides away my reality. The reality which makes me sweat at night. The reality which only gives me fear and the reality which is more scarier than the monsters in the closet. My 'code' is what I live by. I try Not talking to people. I try to open and close conversations as sweetly and as swiftly as I can 'cause I just want them to shut the hell up but you know how people are, they are social animals and one way or the other, they want to prove to the guy standing next to them that they are better than him even though they have jack shit to back that up. 

"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to."

-Khalil Gibran

To be honest I can go and on but I guess for now, this is more than enough. I don't know what I tried to express or make you understand  from this blog. Or whether I just wrote some bullshit for you to forget in a heart beat. But I know I tried. And maybe that is what I am trying to do since so long. For all of you to understand. The ones who have tried must hate me for saying this over and over again. They think that they must have done what was asked of them but now I tell you that why everyone else has failed. It is not because they were short-sighted or more 'chilled-out' and 'normal' than I was. It was because for some sick and twisted reason I never wanted them to fully understand. You can call it fear of being completely vulnerable or the ego too proud to admit that it never needs help, I have always pushed people away. And I guess this process will continue. Before I had sins on my shoulders but today I know i am clean. I am detoxed and I have the confidence to even ask god to wager my pros and cons and stall tall in the hall of judgement. But I know I can't change peoples opinions. I can't change the way they live their life and how much they gossip and waste their lives on the successes of others and the clothes they wear and the society they desperately want to fit into. I know I can't change anything. I can only better myself. Make myself more focused and set my eyes, my mind, heart and soul to only one objective and wish that with every passing day I become more stronger to face the challenges that are ahead of me. So tell me my readers, was this blog a cry of help? A Statement? A Message? An Emotional Outburst or Just Another Blog Entry? The choice is yours 'cause after all, everything in life does begin with a choice.

"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words."

-Elbert Hubbard

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and now I leave the choice to You.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

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The Lone Wolf ...

"One Day When They Will Ask Me, 'What Was The Most Incredible And Scariest Moment Of Your Life?' I Will Tell Them, That It Was The Day When I Knew What My Fate Had In Stored For Me."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

So finally the time has come. The time when I dedicate a Blog to the title of 'The Lone Wolf'. This was a long time coming but I guess all happens when it is meant to happen. And I guess the time has finally come. In this blog I officially state my current state of being. Or should I say, how I was always meant to be. I remember, like it was yesterday, I went to mom just to express my feelings of troubled thoughts. It was the year 2006 and I was Filming for Jimmy. And I told Mom that I don't feel anything. That I am scared I will always be alone. Even though Mom was very disturbed to hear what I had to say, she also told me that this is just a phase and in time it will fade away. I believed her because she is my mom and she definitely has had more experience of life than me, so I let the thought slide and tried to forget about it. Now, nearly 7 years later, that thought is still with me. And it grows more stronger than ever. Those voices in my head, that inner voice of the soul, telling me only one thing, only, one, thing. That I will always and forever be The Lone Wolf. Before these thoughts used to sadden me and cast a shadow of fear over me. But now, after life's experiences, I can tell you that is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am truly honoured to be The Lone Wolf. And now, you will know why ...

"A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode."

-Chanakya

I have tried. I have really tried. Over and over again. Whether it was to mingle or socialise or to make friends or even fall in love. I have tried them all and every time I have failed. Before I didn't know why. Before I always blamed the other person. I tried to find their flaws and made sure that they thought that they were guilty but as time passed as this became a repeated cycle I figured out that it wasn't them but it was 'I' who was the problem. I have been blessed enough to receive love from many but for some reason I couldn't love them back. I mean, even though I was with them, talking and laughing and making beautiful memories, I always felt an itch on my back. Like there was always something missing. Like there was more. But somehow I couldn't find it. And slowly, that strong bond of connectivity used to collapse and all those whom I loved went away because I pushed them away for I felt no connection with them. I mean, how fucked up is that?!?! Man is supposed to be a social animal! I guess God wasn't paying attention when he was creating me. {Lol} But seriously, I sometimes even wonder which stick is up my ass that this happens to me every time! Over and over again. It is not like I haven't tried to feel you know. Even right now, when I am writing this blog to you, I swear, I feel no connection with my emotions. At least with the emotions which make a man normal. Emotions like Friendship or Love. Yes, I know. I am no Machine. I do feel something though. You may think it is my anger that I still feel. No. I have put my anger to rest. I now feel a fire within me. And I guess, throughout history, only few have felt this fire. This fire only the few, privileged were chosen to feel. Only The Lone Wolves ...

"I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."

-Henry David Thoreau

Today, I did a Chest Workout followed by a 30mins Run at the speed of 10kms an hour 'cause running non-stop at that speed makes me reach 5kms in under 30mins. My coach now Workouts me and it is truly an honour to train with him. I think day by day I am coming closer to his high standards of training and fitness. But no, I am not telling you all of this so that I can show how great I am becoming. No. As mentioned earlier in my previous blogs, I am just a peanut compared to the gym freaks out there. I am writing all of this to explain the fire within me to you. For the last 2 days, I was resting. My body needed the rest and maybe it took an extra 24 hours to heal. And when I was all by myself on Sunday and on Monday, I somehow felt very good to be alone. I can't explain. I guess, that has always been my problem. I just couldn't ever put it in words how much I have loved my loneliness. My 'Me Time'. The time when I have no worry of the world and when I am all by myself. I try to have these 'Me Times' whenever possible and trust me, they are very rejuvenating. So after resting for 48 hours I finally returned to the gym. And before my 1st rep, I had like a billion thoughts in my head. "Should I message him? Should I tell her how I feel? Man, that girl in the treadmill is cute. Will it rain today? Will I be able to push to my max today?" And so on. But the moment I finished My 1st Rep and felt the blood flowing in My Pectoral Muscles I felt Alive! And I screamed,"Yeah! That's what I am talking about!" Oh man! I can't explain to you how good that felt. And then I did the 2nd set and after that I felt like I was Juggernaut from X-Men and then after every set, I yelled, "I am The Juggernaut Bitch!" Trust me guys, it felt like a jolt of electricity running through me! Like a kick you feel when you are high on caffeine or when you just had sex! I felt that when I was working out and then all those wasteful thoughts vanished and I was focused! Completely focused in "Claiming The Weights" and by the end of the workout I knew I did my best and made my coach proud! And that is when I knew why I didn't feel a thing for others was because I was put in god's green earth not to make friends or fall in love but to become the best version of myself. Not to be a social animal. But to be The Lone Wolf. A Beast in His Purest form. But the story doesn't end here. For every beast needs his feeding and sometimes the beast wants more than your blood, sweat and tears ... sometimes the beast even wants your soul ....

"Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying."

-Martin Luther 

As I mentioned to you that I now have a new trainer as he has been a blessing to me. I finally have found the right guy who knows exactly how to train me and the results and changes I am seeing are beyond my very own imagination! And training with my coach has in a way made the fire within me burn bright again! After years I feel so focused and so motivated and somehow even though my body goes through hell, it wants more and more and more! Coach recently told me to resume my Mma Classes for more strenuous Cardio and Core Conditioning and nothing made me more happier than that. But what I witnessed once I went back was more of a horror to me than rejoice. People and I mean a group of ladies in particular have now 'taken over' the Mma Class and they laugh and giggle more than they train. Even though their every comment of 'Making The Class Easier' ticks me off I still manage to do my training as hard as I can and leave. But even after 3 hours in the Gym and 90mins in my Mma Class I feel I can do more. Like a hunger inside of me which doesn't go. Those voices in my head telling me, "We want more! Feed us more!" And the inner voice from my soul telling me the same thing but in a different way. "You want more, don't you? You want a real fight. Don't you? A Fight That Never Ends!" And I know that no matter how many 'whatsapp' messages I exchange with the world or how many pics I upload on 'Instagram' those voices will always want more 'cause they don't want the ordinary. They want the elite. They want more from me. Like a calling. They want to feel alive. And that feeling of being alive will only come when I will sacrifice my everything to my cause. When I will choose to be alone. When I will tell myself that this is who I am. My voices don't scare me anymore. They make me stronger. They free me. They meet me in the darkness. "Cause they say in the darkness, we are pure. In the darkness we shed our skins and the monsters come out to play. My voices want me to The Lone Wolf because that is the only way I will feel complete again. That is the only way I will ever feel alive again ...

"The only real progress lies in learning to be wrong all alone."

-Albert Camus

So there you have it, my confession of why I am The Lone Wolf and why I will always choose to be alone. I guess this is the way I am. i guess I belong out there you know. In the Wilderness. I guess I am one with the monsters. The monsters who eat souls. I love to fight. And I will go wherever the fight will take me. Like that grumbling feeling in your stomach. Like that flickering of the eye. Like that constant motion known as life, I know who I am now. And no matter how many people I meet in this journey of mine, I will never let them tag along with me. I know I will always push them away, 'cause I am not looking for friendship or love or lust or the junks and perks, I am looking for a Fight. A Fight that will never end. A Fight that will make me bleed. A Fight that will break my bones and take my breath away. A fight that will finally make me the warrior that I believe I am. The reason I have put up a Ufc Gym pic is because it is one of my Dreams to go to Los Angeles and train for 3 Months in the Ufc Gym where I will meet like-minded warriors such as me. Where I will train for more than 6 hours a day. Where I will be with myself and the thoughts which need feeding. To those who love me, I am sorry that I am this way but I guess this is who I always was and who I will always be. And for those who have always hated me, hate me as much as you want 'cause I am not doing this to beat you or bring you down. I am walking this path because I was meant too and maybe just maybe, someday I will find another Lone Wolf just like me and I will sit and hear his story too like the way you all are reading mine.

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakaraborty And I Am The Lone Wolf.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone."

-Charlie Chaplin

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Seeking An Honourable End ...

"Every Warrior Knows That One Day He Will Die In The Battlefield. And What He Truly Seeks Isn't Medals Or Accolades. What He Seeks Is An Honourable Death."

-Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

I know I have always been spiritual. More than religious I think I was attracted towards the spiritual powers of the universe. And in the last few years it has come to my realisation that God and The Powers That Be are more connected to us when we are spiritual and in touch with our souls. And all the wise men of the past have always said one thing, 'Ask Questions Which You Seek Answers Too.' And following their advice I did just that. And the more I asked the more I realised that the questions will never end 'cause with each answer another question arises. But as a man who is in search of his salvation I have come to realise that many will not understand my journey. Al though some may try but they will never actually understand. And since the dawn of revelations in my life all I ever wanted was, for the world to understand. Whether it was my pain, my anguish, my struggles or my hardships, I just wanted the world to see I am just like them. But suffice to say, I haven't till date met one person who has walked or is walking the journey I am in. But even then I walk on. I just walk because now this loneliness has become my friend and I have now somehow uplifted myself from the norms of society because I know that there is more to my life. A voice inside of me tells me to walk this road for in the end I will finally come to my destination. And in the end, when all the dust settles and when I will take the last breaths of my life, all I will seek will be that one person who will give me my curtain call. At that last check point, when I finally check out, I will meet my maker and he will give me what I long for ... He will give me An Honourable End ...

"Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others."

-Buddha

It was nearly a year ago. I remember like it was yesterday. Wrestlemania 28 was around the corner and Triple H V/S The Undertaker Part 2 was one of the most awaited matches. It was one of the Raw episodes in which Shawn Michaels was interviewing both the contestants. And during the interview Triple H said something which hit me like Lightening. He looked at The Undertaker in the eyes and said, "I know taker. I know what you want. You want me to finish it. Don't you. You want me to end the streak. You know it is me. I am the one who will finally get the job done." What I am trying to explain here isn't the aggression what Triple H had. It was what The Undertaker acknowledged. The Undertaker is still undefeated at Wrestlemania. Even after 20 years, he holds the record of staying the winner in whatever hell has been through. But somewhere, in the depths of his soul even He, The Great Undefeated Undertaker is waiting ... He is waiting for that one opponent who will finally end it. Who will put an end to the streak. You see, Taker wants to be free now. He has fought long and hard. And now, his soul wants to be amongst the angels. He wants this greatness to come to an end. But he wants it from an opponent who is fitting enough for the curse Taker will leave behind because whoever that man will be, he will forever be known as The Man Who Ended The Streak. Do you understand what I am trying to say here? Even I am looking for such an opponent. An opponent who will finally put me to rest ...

"The salvation of this human world lies nowhere else than in the human heart, in the human power to reflect, in human meekness and human responsibility."

-Vaclav Havel

I have always believed in fate and is destiny for I have always believed with pure conviction that we all are here for a reason. Reasons we sometimes don't understand. Some of us seek to find what that reason is while the others just wither through life without actually living it. Through all the turmoils and questions and road bumps I have faced in life I have come to understand that I was always meant to be a Fighter. I may have not have the Warrior Gene in me but I consider myself one. And that is the reason why I have always been attracted towards War and Fighting. Why I have always invited Pain and Sacrifice. And that is why I do Mma. That is why I go to the Gym and make my bones feel iron. That is the reason I choose Greatness over Love and that is the reason I choose to be alone rather than being around people. It was only a few days ago that I was doing the Big heavy in the Gym. The Dead Lifts, Squats and Bench Press. As the sets progressed the weights did too and the tougher they got. But I somehow managed to "Claim The Weight" and finish my workout properly. But while I was in that unbearable pain, I suddenly became very sad and felt very lonely. Not because of the pain but because I realised that no one will ever see this journey of mine. No one will be able to understand it. The world will just move on but I will always be here, alone, pushing bone against metal and seeking my answers through the pain and the soreness and the struggles. That no one will come and say. "It Is ok Mimoh. You Can Let Go Now. You Don't Have To Feel Anymore Pain now. You Can Be Free. You Can End It Now ... You Can End It Now ..."

"There are enough churches already, but the world still needs salvation."

-Sun Myung Moon

I never knew what Mma was until 2 years ago. I just happen to go for a boxing tryout at One Fitness in malad and that is where I first tasted the adrenaline of Mma and since that day I have become an Addict. I have been going to the same classes for the last two years and in front of my eyes I have seen so many come and go. I have seen trainers change and also the gym staff replaced but I can proudly say that I have been the one constant over there. I see people coming and trying out the class and 99% of them never come back. They consider it as a 'Fitness Class' but what they don't realise is that Mma India teaches us the sport not just the 1 2 3 you see in other gyms. And in these two years, the more I have learnt this sport the more I have become hungry for more and trust me, the more hungrier you get, the more you wanna fight and the more you wanna fight, the more you seek for an opponent who will give you that ultimate satisfaction of beating you to a pulp and making you stronger. But sadly, to this day, I haven't met him. And to be honest, every time I see a new face in class I wish that this is the guy who will face me. I have been waiting for him since the last 2 years now. I just hope I meet him someday. At times like these, I remember words from the movie Rocky Balboa when the reigning boxing champ goes to meet his trainer. The champ is tired of winning because he believes that he has defeated everyone and he has no more competition. And that is when his trainer tells him, "There Is Always Somebody Out There. Always." And remembering those words, I wait. I wait in patience when I will finally have the fight of my life. When I will punch, kick and make my opponent bleed and when he will do the same. And in the end when he will finally break me, I will tap out and he will win. And at that moment, I will hug that man for he will earn my respect for that man will finally give my fight it's meaning ...

"Our salvation is in striving to achieve what we know we'll never achieve."

-Ryszard Kapuscinski

So there you have it. My own weird eulogy. I myself think that why do I think so intense and weird half of the time. But I guess this is me. I guess I am spiritual. I know I have made my share of mistakes in the past and my actions mostly have been for the wrong reasons. But as I am coming of age, I am coming to realise many a things. And I know that I have still many more miles to go before I sleep. I still have to meet my maker. I still have the world to see, people to meet and cultures to explore. Don't take me wrong, I am not unhappy. In fact, I have never been this focused! Ever! But I know that no matter how many people I meet, I will always have these questions within me. It is like Fate is preparing me you know. I know one day My Time Will Come. One day I will be successful and one day all my dreams will come true. But I also know that even when I will have all the power, riches, fame and money in the world, my feet will find their way to the gym at 4am in the morning and my body will demand the pain of weights and the sound the make when they are racked together. My soul will again find it's way to the octagon cage and wait for that fighter to come because after all the years of fighting, you become a fighter and before you realise, fighting is what defines you. Pain becomes your strength and loneliness becomes your companion and the long empty road is where you feel at home. This has been a very personal blog to me and I hope that God upstairs finally listens to me and grants me My Honourable End 'cause he knows that when I do face my end, I won't go down without a fight. And as they say in Mma and in Boxing, "If You Are Going Down, Go Down Swinging."

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am Seeking An Honourable End. Is God listening?

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"To this light, then, would I recommend all, with mine own soul, - to this sure way of salvation."

-Elias Hicks

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The Random Thoughts Of A 29 Year Old ...

"I May Be Crazy, Moody, Cranky, Stubborn, Weird And Sometimes, Down Right Heinous. But This Is Who I Am. And This Is Who I Am Always Going To Be."

- Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

I am right now, in a state of bliss. You will ask why? There are many reasons why I am feeling this right now. But to start with, all I can tell you that for the very 1st time in my life, I am in sync with my thoughts, my ideals and the path which is laid ahead of me. What is that word? Ah! Yes, Synchronicity. Now, I know what it feels like to be 'One With The Universe.' I just turned 29 a couple of days ago and for the very 1st time in the city of Mumbai, I had a Boys Night Out Birthday Celebration. As expected, it was a blast and all whom I had invited had come. I enjoyed every moment with my friends and family and the photographs taken on that day would surely remind me in my coming years that my 29th birthday was a very good one. But this blog isn't about that night. Nor about the presents or love I received that day. This is, as always, about me and my thoughts. The one constant in my life, since the last 14 years have only been my thoughts. Whether they were bad or good, they have always been there. But the funny thing about thoughts is that they come and go whenever they please and I must say, they come without warning and in random. So I thought that since I am one more step closer to my maturity, I should type out these thoughts and share them with all my readers. So here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to know what goes on in my head. Well, in a random order I should say ...

"Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood."

-Khalil Gibran

It is Saturday night. All I hear is music from restaurants and party halls. The latest Bollywood music is on full volume. But I am here, writing this blog. I ask myself, shouldn't I be out there painting the town red as well? I mean, I know I can and I do have all the freedom to do so. But then, what is stopping me? Well, it is My Thoughts. For a very long time now, I have had this one constant thought that 'Greatness Requires Sacrifice' and  in order to achieve all that I want too, I have to be strong enough to let go of my temptations. And that is why I sit here, all by myself and write this blog because I know tomorrow is Legs Day in the Gym and my sleep and recovery today will help me use all my energy for the hellish workout that awaits me tomorrow. Why do I do it you ask? Well, I have been asked this question so many a times in the past and every time I have given the same answer ... It is because I know what My priorities are. And right now, at this tangent of my life, nothing is more important for me than My training. I have been given advice from so many people before and all state that I don't have to be this stern. That I am too serious in life. That I should 'Chill'. Before, I used to retaliate. But now, I don't because I don't hang around with those people anymore 'cause they weren't the supporters, they were the dis tractors. Luckily, I now surround myself around people who understand what I am going through and who also understand that being fit isn't a way of life, it is a Lifestyle itself. And that is why I am the way I am. And maybe, this is the way I am always going to be.

"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."

-Aldous Huxley

Yesterday we were doing Legs and Power Kicks in our Mma Class along with some Knee Blocking Techniques. These exercises help us to have more flexibility and power in the legs. We also did some Conditioning to Strengthen our Shins. My Mma buddies tried as much as they could but finally gave up and told me to continue my Conditioning with our Trainer. I was up for it. As I remember, it was after the 7th or the 8th Kick that My Trainer gave a of his own and that kick hit my directly below my left ankle. And trust me, I didn't expect the pain to be that excruciating. I mean, the pain was unbearable and I knew I got hit. Al though a part of me was mad because I didn't block that kick, a part of me enjoyed that pain. And to top that I went ahead and did some more Kicking Practice on the Pad and gave it my best. Even right now, as I am writing this blog, I can feel the pain. I have been limping all day and the nerve which is swollen from the inside hasn't subsided yet. But even through the pain, I managed to do My Spinning Class and I now I will also be able to do Legs tomorrow. What is the reason of me telling you this? No. It's not because I wanna show off. And neither it is to show you all how strong I am. I know that one punch from an Mma Fighter and I am out in a second. No. I told you this because I wanna tell you that I love Pain. Yes, as weird as it may sound, I have this great connection with pain. Not self inflicted pain. But Pain caused by Labor. I love it all! The Scars, The Bruises, The Muscles when they are Sore and when I know that My Body has taken a Beating. I don't know but I have this weird thought in my head that the more pain I embrace, the stronger I will become and that is why I invite it. I welcome it with open arms and look for exercises and grueling tasks which take my body to the limit. As they say, "Pain Is Weakness Leaving The Body." So whenever I go through this Pain, I tell Myself, that I am stronger than I was yesterday and one I will be The Strongest That There Is. So yes, I love Pain. Pain Is What Makes Me Stronger.

"March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life's path."

-Khalil Gibran

I am right now reading an amazing book called, 'What It Is Like To Go To War'. It is the true horrifying story of a Marine who was in Vietnam and who survived that brutal war. The more I read this book, the more I am understanding that Marine's psyche. He was a Soldier. And he did what he had to do. I mean what would you do if you were in a fire fight and your life was at stake? You would do anything to survive. They say War Changes Us. And this book shows us just that. I am so glad that I got the chance to read this book. And I hope I get a chance to meet the book's author also as I have always admired the Soldiers of the World. And the Indian Commandos and United States Marine Corps have always been my favorites. We all know that they are the true heroes and what they do is far greater than what any billionaire or a commoner can do. But what I relate most with them is the Love they have. What love you ask? It is their love for country. Their love towards their brothers in arms and Their Love To Fight. FIGHT. Wow! That word has such deep meaning in my life. All my life, I have fought and now, I am in love with it. I know there are people out there who are fighting for more righteous reasons but when I think of Myself, I ask God, The Almighty to make me fight always. Until the day I die, I want to fight. I want a Fight That Never Ends. It is because I know now that this is who I am. I am A Fighter. I am not the Normal Guy. The one from the pack. The one you will see at a party or at the Page 3 of newspapers. I am not the guy who fits in. I am now The Fighter who Stands Out.

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

-Henry David Thoreau

So there you have it. The Random Thoughts Of A 29 year Old. To be honest, right now, I have a billion thoughts running in my head and I know that by the time I post this, a billion more thoughts will emerge and I will tell myself, "Damn, I should had written about this instead of that!". This thought cycle of mine is never-ending, trust me I know. But honestly, I love My thoughts 'cause it is these thoughts which make me believe more, which make me smile and they also remind me why I am here. I know I still have a long way to go but because of my thoughts and the actions they have made me do, I have come this far. Right now, I am writing this blog and in the same time trying to chat on whatsapp, listen to 'My Time Is Now' by John Cena and google Venum Clothing on the net. I know I am not great at multi-tasking but my thoughts are already in full throttle mode and they are showing how I will get inspired next. I know you maybe asking me that when I have a billion thoughts in my head, why would I only pick 2 or 3 to share? Well, these thoughts dominate my mind the most and in someway, these constant thoughts help me to become the man I wanna be. So before I go, I just wanna say that this is who I am. I am not Perfect but I love being Me. Just as, I hope you love being You. The only difference right now is that I Blog about 'cause you never know, someone, somewhere might just be inspired. The Question Is: Will You Be An Inspiration Too?

This Is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty And This Is Who I Am. Well, A Glimpse Of It At Least.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

"The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path."

-Jim Rohn

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