True Action Heroes ...

It is blazing hot here. We are in the middle of nowhere. I have no idea when this heat will stop pricking Me. I am called for My Shot. It is a close-up. We are filming an action sequence, the Climax. I enacted a 'Real' stunt. I had to enter the Truck while it was moving. The crew clapped for Me. I got charged-up. I gave the shot twice, you know, one for safety. I felt all proud of Myself. I am complimenting Myself in My own thoughts. Those Mma Classes really helped. I am feeling this invincibility. This great power in Me for which I can rule the world. And then I go and do My touch-up for My next shot. While putting on My Make-Up I hear the Fight Master yelling, "Roll Camera … Action!" I put My sounds to vision and see something … Something I can't conceive to be real. I see a man, in black, totally covered, so his face can't be seen, jumping off a bike on to a moving car at the speed of 60kms/per hour! I couldn't imagine the sight  but I saw a man bearing his body and life on the line, for someone else. I see a man risking all that he has for someone else. I see a man not being a man anymore but a Hero. An Unsung Hero … Ladies and Gentlemen meet the Stunt Doubles of Our Glorious Industry …

I love action. Everything about it is amazing! Given a choice, I would love to do the action genre over and over again because I once heard that a Punch is a Punch in any language. And the masses love a guy who kicks ass and takes names. But behind every legacy there is a story. And sometimes those stories are untold or even forgotten. But I want to tell this story. Even if the story consists of a few words. I want the world to know that behind every great action superstar there are a 100 stunt doubles who risk their lives every time through death-defying stunts, all for the sake of entertainment. I thought My love for cinema was beyond any other but today I say that compared to these True Action Heroes I am nothing but just a blimp on the radar. I mean these guys get no face value, no proper recognition and not even a quarter of the salary a superstar gets, Yet, they risk their lives and do these great action stunts so that we guys look good on screen! I mean, come on! What else can I say except, "Kudos To You Guys!" And My deepest gratitude to all of you! Without you, we Action Heroes are nothing!

I know how it feels to be like the unsung hero. I mean, I have been there. You know the moment of eternal sacrifice. Where you let go of doing things for yourself and actually put every remaining breath in your body for a greater cause even when you know you won't be remembered for it. That is what these guys do everyday. Whether it is falling of buildings, putting themselves on fire or even getting their asses kicked by the heroes, they never stop doing what they love doing the most, their stunts. I ask the same question to all these stunt men and women every time I meet them, "Why do it? Why risk your lives even when you know you won't get the credit for it?" And every time I get the same reply. "We love doing this! This is what we are and we live the dream everyday!" No wonder they are the True Action Heroes in My Eyes …

One day, I would love to do these stunts too. Would love the world to Call Me Brave and daring. It is My dream to have a non-stop, no-cut, 8mins 40seconds action sequence, like Tony Ja's in The Protector in which he climbs 8 floors beating up bad guys one after the other. Even I want to play The Punisher and have 3 Steady-Cams circling around Me when I deliver Punches which go through skulls. But until these Dreams of Mine turn into realities I want these Unsung True Action Heroes to do what they do best because they make our Films look good! I am very happy that for the last couple of years hollywood has initiated Stunt Awards and it gives these Brave Men and Women the Respect they truly deserve! Just how Soldiers risk their lives to defend our borders, these men and women do the same for us, the guys who look good during the close-ups. I confess, I am no Brave Soul and in some countries, I may even be called a coward. I am petrified of such daring stunts! And I still don't have the courage to do what these guys do. I am just the guy who looks heroic on-screen. So before I go I wanna say that the next time when You see Me in An Action Film executing those glorious scenes, remember, that there are a 100 others, during the same scene, risking for Me when I do nothing in return for them. In My Eyes, these Brave Men and Women will always be the True Action Heroes …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am the Voice Of The Voiceless.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

They Killed Frank Castle ...

First things first, I am sorry for the delay. I have been here in Pattaya for nearly a month now and we have been filming everyday from 08:00am to 06:00pm. So rest and sleep have been tossed out the window. But I am loving every moment here as the Film's Cast has been super sweet to Me and they really care. Lucky to have met them and they are showing Me a new, bright and exciting side of showbiz which is only making Me learn and respect these folks hell of a lot! Even right now I am putting My Make-Up on and getting My Hair done as I have to be on the Set in about an hour's time. 

So here we go …

Frank Castle A.K.A. The Punisher. Frank has by far been the greatest comic book hero I have come across in all of My living existence. I have been a die-hard fan of super heroes but never in all of My living days have I come across a man so dark, gruelling and real as Frank Castle. For many readers, this blog maybe very childish and just a boy's dream to put a cape on and imagine himself as a superhero fighting crime but for Me this is a dedication to the Man who in a way saved Me. Yes, Frank Castle has been My saviour in more ways than one and by dedicating this Blog to Him, I know, that as a Fan and a Devotee to Frank Castle, I have paid him tribute. But I know that just by writing a few lines on an electronic page and making the world read it won't be enough for the love I have for this guy. Frank Castle is the reason I am who I am today because we only read the Super Heroes we connect with and the best thing about Frank was, was that He Never Was a Superhero! He was just a normal guy. Human, like all of us. One bullet through the temple would put His dark soul to rest but it was His iron-will determination to His cause that kept Him strong and made Him live through all those hellish years before Greg Rukka decided to make Frank Rest In Peace. Yes, the Man whom I worshipped and whose Comics I read over and over again was finally No More …

I knew this day would come. The day Frank finally died in the Max Series of The Punisher which was by far the crown jewel for any Graphic Novel series in the history of comic books! To be honest, I was waiting for the day when He died. Not because I wanted Him to die but because I wanted to see how would I react. And trust Me, it wasn't good. I mean, I wasn't crying or anything but I was cold. Flipping through those pages in Punisher:Homeless and seeing Frank beat the living shit out of the Kingpin while getting pounded with bullets wasn't an easy sight to digest. When I finished the series and the last page arrived, the only thing I could feel was Nothing. Ya, nothing. I didn't know how to react. I mean, this guy, who was sketched out some 30 years ago, who helped Me save Me from My miserable life and showed Me ways to vent out My anger in a very skilful way, the Man who was My best friend and who spoke to Me through His words, the Man whom I looked up to for His morales, discipline and determination had died, right in front of My eyes! 

It is not easy to see someone you love so much die while you are reading His legacy. And more than that, it is not easy to let go. I read Punisher:Homeless twice already because the 1st time I couldn't come to the realisation that They Killed Frank Castle. They finally killed him. Today, I only ask Myself one question, what's next for Me? Will I move on or will i wait in the hope that Frank Castle will return. You won't believe it even when I knew He was dead in those final pages, I was having that slightest ray hope in Me that He will, through some God-Forsaken Miracle come back to life and continue his One-Man-Army War against the Criminal Underworld and the Scum of the Planet. But sadly, that didn't happen. I have experienced almost every emotion before. Whether it was Love, Hate, Joy, Anger, Rejection or Achievement but Frank taught Me the one thing I will always be grateful to Him for. He taught Me, how to fight back …

I am surely gonna miss Frank Castle. I am gonna miss Him hell of a lot! But I know that as a Fan, I have to, in My own way continue His Legacy. Great Actors like Dolhf Lungdren, Thomas Jane and Ray Stevenson have portrayed the great Frank Castle on the Big Screen in their own majestic way and have given Him and given His Character great justice. I wish someday, I can play Frank Castle too. But until then, I will still have His Posters up My Wall. I am still gonna continue getting His Merchandise and I am still gonna Fight the good Fight no matter what comes My way. Frank always said that it doesn't matter how much evil is out there, I will never stop Punishing it. And with every memory I have of Frank Castle, I know that I will never stop moving ahead. Even when all hope is lost. Even when people cast you out and your biggest strength is actually your fear, I know I will Never stop pushing forward because that is what Frank did. I know My Blogs sometimes have messages and stories and thoughts and sometimes just making Myself have a voice. But this one was different for not everyday do I have to say good bye to one of the Greatest Men I ever knew. I thank all of those amazing writers who sketched, inked, wrote, thought and related to Frank Castle just the way I did. I thank you all from the bottom of My heart and you never know, one day, I might just look in the mirror and see a glimpse of Frank Castle Myself …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am The Voice Of The Voiceless …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

Beyond The Flesh ...

The following is Inspired from a True Story …

Jack: Dude I wanna get laid tonight. Let's go find Me some chicks!

Stan: Why bro? We can party all night long and have fun! You know, just us boys! And besides, what will your wife Angie say?

J: She won't know and you won't understand. I love her but this is a need and it has to be fulfilled. And besides, I'm a 1,000 miles away from her. She won't even know.

S: Fine, whatever. Do what makes you happy.

Some 20mins later in a happening club …

J: Dude, check that girl out! She is hot man! Look at the curves on that one! I so wanna hit that tonight! And look look! She is giving Me the eye! I seem to be lucky!

S: Bro, she is a hooker. That is what they do!

J: Who cares? She is hot! Go ask her how much she charges for the night.

S: Screw you! Why should I do it? You wanna sleep with her! You go ask!

J: Bro, I got to go talk to Angie. If she hears all the noise around Me, she will know I am out and we both know how much she hates Me getting drunk. I got to go and do the "regular" husband routine, give her flying kiss over the phone and wish her good night. Till the time I do that, keep that chick occupied. I don't want someone else taking her. 

S: You owe Me for this big time! You got that? Now come back soon! If you aren't here in a few, I bail!

J: Thanks bro! Love you man! Will be back in a jiffy! 

S: Uummm, hello miss. I am Stan. What is your name?

Kira: Hi! My name is Kira. Nice to meet you stan.

S: My friend really likes you and he wants you for the night. He was asking what is the price?

K: I can't hear you! Too much of noise! Come up in the lounge. it is quitter there.

S: Ok.

K: This is much more peaceful, isn't it? You wanna drink or something?

S: Na, I don't drink. You can drink if you like.

K: Ok. A beer will be nice.

S: Beer it is.

S: So? How much is it for the night?

K: I charge 500$ for the night. No hanky panky stuff. I keep it clear, clean and simple. Ok?

S: Ok. Will text him. Uuummm, can I ask you a question? Why do you do this? I mean, you know …

K: You really wanna know? Not many men ask Me this question? Usually they just wanna do their business and leave. Fine, I will tell you. You wanna know the long or the short of it?

S: My friend won't be here for a while. How about the entire story in a nutshell. I mean, I have never spoken to anyone from your line of business before, so yes, I am intrigued.

K: Ok. I will Say and you will listen. Don't interrupt. Here goes. My real name is not Kira. I am not from here. I come from a land very far away. My family doesn't know that I sell My body every night. If they would, they would kill Me. I have a son. He is 10 years old. He is very sick and he requires medical attention which costs a lot of money. My husband who was married to Me since I was 17 years old, decided to treat Me as a baseball bat every night when He was drunk and then decided to leave Me when I was pregnant. And In My country, they pay very less and My son means the world to Me and He is the only thing that keeps Me going. So that is why I am a Hooker. Is that a good enough story for you?

S: You. Have. A. Son?

K: Does that surprise you? You think we Hookers can't make babies? Have a life? Settle down? You think we do this because we like it?

S: I didn't say anything.

K: Exactly. You men only see us sex objects. Pieces of meat only meant to fulfil your desires. You never see Beyond The Flesh.

S: I am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I am just taken aback. I mean, you are so beautiful! You are such an elegant woman. You … You deserve better than this!

K: Showing Me pity won't change the reality My friend. I am who I am. And I don't regret it. I do this for My son. He is the only Man I love. And I want him to have a happy life! I want him to grow up and do something great! Not end up like Me. I am a mother. And a mother always protects her child.

S: You are a wonderful mother. Your son is blessed to have you. But when will you stop doing this? Someday or the other you will. I hope you do. I pray that you do.

K: Pray to god? Hahaha! That is funny! I used to pray to him everyday. I guess he didn't care to help Me and answers my prayers. Even My friend prayed to him. She was very religious. She loved a guy and prayed to god she marry him. But he left her for a younger woman. She hasn't spoken to god since but I see it in her eyes. Every man she takes to bed, she expects Him to love her, even if it is for a minute. We all are broken souls. Beyond the flesh, we are just lost souls seeking a way out.

S: I don't know what to say. I … I …

K: You don't have to say anything. Is that your friend? Looks like My time is up with you. Lovely chatting with you.

S: Wait, listen, I know you may think there is no hope for you. But I still do. I know one day you will find peace. You will find love again and your son will grow up to be someone amazing and you never know, maybe one day I will meet you again and that time, if I am lucky enough, I will take you out on a date.

K: You never know …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am the voice of the voiceless.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

The Prison Of Paradise ...

It is written in Genesis that it took God 6 days to create the world and on the 7th day He called it Paradise. We all have our own version of paradise. This version is Mine. But before I begin I hope you guys are taking out time to read My Mini-Blogs which I post everyday. I am trying to be as frequent as I can with them during these Shooting Schedules of Mine and your response to them will mean a lot to Me as I am taking another step to come more closer to you all. And speaking of Shooting, My Shoot is going great. Even though the heat here is killing, we all are Filming amazing scenes everyday and since I am the youngest on the sets, I am always bullied. The same thing happened last time, when I was here for LOOT, so I guess it is kinda of a deja vu for Me. And I wanna wish everyone a Very Happy Eid as well. And now, we begin …

As you all know My Work is My Worship. I belong on the Movie Sets and Working gives Me the ultimate happiness in the world. So yes, this is My Happiness. This is My Joy. And this is My Paradise. I have been very lucky and blessed to get this Film and to be honest, everyday when I come on the Sets the only thing I pray is that I want this forever! I never want to stop Working and I wanna die with My Make-Up on. I know I ask a lot and whenever you ask for heavenly things, you have to answer to the heavens. And I do that everyday. Believe Me, I really try. I do whatever I can to keep My side of that promise. My eyes beg for 30mins of more sleep but I fight it, have My espresso Shots, get ready and be the 1st Actor on Sets, sometimes even before the unit arrives! After nearly 10hrs of working in the blazing heat, I still make My way to the Gym, even though My Body cries for Rest. Trust Me, it isn't easy. But I still carry on, for this is My Paradise and I wanna be locked in here forever …

We Actors get the chance to play many characters. Some times, we even get the chance to play Super Heroes. But today, I tell you that in real life, I am the biggest coward you will meet. I may kick-ass during My Mma Sessions but when it comes to accepting the harsh realities of life, I run away from them like a chicken on fire. I mean, I am petrified! Out there in the real world, there are so many people with so many notions about Me. People who hate Me and laugh behind My back. Out there, all My rivals are getting what they want while I still have to fight for it. Out there, all I hear is gossip and which guy is sleeping with whom and who dumped whom. A place where temptation and lust always win over love and control. Out there, everyone is fake and are more concerned about box-office collections than their own way of life. People are more insecure than confident about their relationships. That is a harsh world. A very harsh world. And if given a choice, I never want to go back to it. I want God to keep Me in this paradise, lock Me up and throw away the key forever …

In this Paradise of Mine, I am king. I am indestructible. Here no one can call Me names or call Me stuck up or repetitive. Here I have an identity for out there I am still struggling to find My place. In this beautiful prison of Mine, I don't miss anyone. I don't care and show concern and get hurt in return. In here, I am not seeking redemption but I am finding salvation. Out there, I am just a mere mortal who is more concerned to be accepted than to be appreciated but in here, I am more of a machine who makes up everyday, puts on his make-up and waits to hear the siren. I fear to go back. I tremble at the very fact to step into that world which is full of negativity and people not believing in miracles anymore. I never want to go back. I wanna stay right here in this beautiful prison. For many, this may be called a fantasy but I choose to accept this over the reality that reminds Me everyday that I am still not good enough. I rather be alone in this Prison Of Paradise than to be out there with people who will eventually leave …

You may find My words to be negative but trust Me, they are not. I am just being honest. I know I over-think but these words are written with a lot of observation as I always see My life from a 3rd person's point of view. What I wanna say is that I know what makes Me happy and what takes that happiness away from Me and I am no longer afraid of accepting My truth. I am a coward, yes. I am weak, yes. But in the same time, I know where I belong. And it is right here, in this Beautiful Prison of My Paradise. The question is, where do you?

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Paradise.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

After The Calm ...

Hello Once again My Readers. I am now in Pattaya. I am Shooting for My next venture. I can't give you any more details of it as of now but in time I will because I will be here for a while. But all I can say for now is that this is My 1st Tri-Language Film and it is an Honor to work with Superstars Tarun and Kitti Sir from the South. These guys dominate the Telugu and Kannada Industry and they are super chilled out guys and very humble and down to earth. And I am working with the all awesome Shreyas Talpade in this Film for the very 1st time too. And what they say about him is very true … He is indeed one of the Finest and Greatest Actors in Bollywood today! And fans of My Film Haunted, you are in for a treat as you will see Me and Tia together in this Film again after Haunted. That is all I can talk about the Film. And now, Blog Time …

My last blog entry, "The Blogger Anonymous" got more than 600 hits! That is a 1st time for Me! I was truly over-whelmed! So thank you for that guys. Keep the reading going. And very soon, My blogs will become a part of the Break The Norms Society, which gives Me a huger responsibility on My shoulders as I have to spread My message to more people now. So I thought why not come up with a 'catchy' title for My next blog entry. Of course, during the course of this entry, you will know why it is called After The Calm but for now, I must say that I know that the eyes only want to see what interests them and that is why the more catchy the title, the more the clicks. And here I thought spreading the message is gonna be easy! 

There are no words. There are no words to express the feeling I am in. When I am shooting, I am a different person. I completely change. Like something dead in Me comes to life! I change as a human being. I stop checking My bbm statuses to see who put up a new pic. I don't ask people whether they are seeing someone or not. I don't miss the people I am suppose to miss. The things that used to hurt Me before don't matter to Me. And My life's existence only revolves around those lights and the sounds of 'lights, sound, camera and action'. I become the person god chose Me to be. But before I come on a Movie Set I am in this chaos mode. A mode in which I think of a 1,000 things and I shake and I tremble and I am excited and I am scared all at the same time! But then after that chaos, that madness comes a certain calm. A Calm which is so soothing, that nothing else in this world can match. A feeling of tranquility that can only be described as pure bliss. But then comes the question. What comes After The Calm …

I have met many wonderful people in this film set of Mine. Some are married, some single. All of them come with their dreams and hopes. I have experienced joy, happiness and laughter here and I have through them, saw in Myself too. Writing this blog, sitting in My room, My mind is going through a billion thoughts. It is tricking Me into the temptation of this city where lust is affordable. In a city where you can have anything you want. A place where I see men from all ages fulfil their animal desires. My mind tells Me to do the same. It tells Me that I have done My Work for the day. Now I need to go out there and feed the Animal. It gives Me the conviction that what I am dong is not wrong. But then My Soul awakens and tells Me not to for I still have a lot of work to do. My soul takes Me to this place After The Calm. It is an empty place. A place of nothingness. There is only Darkness there but it tells Me to stay here because it is here where you belong. For only in this darkness can you burn bright! 

But My brain doesn't stop it's wrath upon My Soul. It tells Me, why do you eat the same Chicken Tikka day and night? Why the same 3 litres of Water and the Black Coffee? My mind tells Me that My body cries for rest. It aches for sleep. It wants all that junk food in it's system. Fulfil it's hunger. Don't fight it! My mind laughs at Me and tells Me that I am fighting a hopeless war. A War that doesn't make sense. It tells Me, "Mahaakshay, you are trying to gain approval from people who don't care. No matter what you do, they will still hate you. They will still taunt you and tell you that you are not good enough. Your competitors will still spit on your face and call you a loser! Why fight a War you will never win? But then I answer back …

Just like a M-16 is soothing for a Soldier. Just like a Briefcase gives the office man that sense of belonging and just like love ensures that your relationship exists … Just like that, After The Calm I find where I belong. I belong to that madness. That gruelling ritual of Blood, Sweat and Tears. That never ending struggle of approval from a world which only knows how to hate you. That constant seeking of attention from the ones who will never love you. This is where I truly find Myself. Only a few out there will understand this but I fear no one will for every one has their own opinion and their own take in life. So they will never know how it feels to be here. To have that hunger to succeed because you know that Winning is the Only Option you have! Even when the Body breaks, you still push ahead. When the world is eating sandwiches and burgers, you are on a protein diet. When the world is out there partying, you are in the gym doing Biceps. I do the things that I do because these are the things that define Me and I know that one way or the other they always find their back to Me. They always do.

I am not here to say that I am better than you. In fact, 90% of the people I have met have said that I don't Iive the life. But little do they know that After The Calm comes this place where only few have gone. And once you go there, you never return. A place, only the few deserve. I am not here to change your lives, I am here only to tell you to find your calmness. For after that calmness comes a place, you don't wanna miss visiting. Trust Me, I know.

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I know what comes After The Calm …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

The Mini Blogs ...

Entry No:7 …

08:08am …

On The Sets …

Pattaya, Thailand.

I am again the 1^st on the sets. I arrived, even before the unit did. I am getting good at this. I know I am not supposed to come this early but I still do. I respect time a lot and in our business, Time is Money. All the others come according to their own requirement. No one tells them anything. I just look at the abusive use of power and wait. Wait that even one day I will earn this power but I will not use it for the wrong doings. I hope I don’t. power has corrupted one and all. I just hope I am the exception.

Yesterday was Saturday night. The entire pattaya was awake and partying. Even some of the unit members were, that is what I heard. Everyone is asking Me what I did. I said I stayed in the room. I needed the rest so took advantage of the half day off. To be honest I wanted to go out last night. I had multiple choices. The famous Go-Kart area. Or a fancy restaurant or even the Russian strip club. But I didn’t go any where. Well, My body couldn’t move either. There are times when one’s mortality are questioned. I face those questions here everyday. But I avoid temptation and I wait. I wait in patience.

I know coming on the sets before time and being extra disciplined will not give Me extra brownie points. But I still do these things because I know how much My work means to Me. My Dad always reminds Me not to do the same mistakes that I did in Jimmy and tells Me, “Don’t screw it up.” I have many people to answer and many people’s dreams and hopes are riding along with Mine’s. I do the things I do for a reason even if that means being called Boring, Childish or The Odd One Out …

End Of Entry No:7 …

******************************************************************

Entry No:6 …

06:34am …

Getting Ready For The Shoot …

Pattaya, Thailand.

In an hour I will be on My way to the location. I am all set for the day. Looking forward to it. Even though I am deeply tanned I love being at My place of work. I hardly sit on the sets and people ask Me why. I tell them that you have no idea how much My work means to Me and I love every moment here. So I would love to stand and get tired Working than to be at Home doing nothing. It is an unusual feeling. I don’t know how many out there may relate to it.

It is strange how time changes everything. It even changes people. People, whom you thought were your friends now make fun of you. Friends you thought who understand tell you that you have become repetitive. It hurts to actually see these changes in the ones you love but today I am glad that I see their true faces. All happens for a reason. I have always believed in that.

There are ways I deal with these changes but yesterday after 45mins in the Treadmill I thought of taking My Staff out for dinner. I treated them with a fabulous meal and then we all saw The Expendables 2. The movie was amazing and I was very happy with the evening because to see these 3 guys happily enjoying their meals and clicking pics made Me really very happy. That happiness made Me realize that I still do have people I can count on. People I can still call My Family … J

End Of Entry No:6 …

******************************************************************

Entry No:5 …

On The Way To The Location …

07:46am …

Pattaya, Thailand.

Last night was fun. I went out with the boys and we bonded and laughed and had a great time. I really needed that. Sometimes it’s good to hang around with only boys and talk about things you are too scared to say in public. I am feeling refreshed and more than that, I know that we all actors have become friends and more brotherly towards each other after our heart to heart conversations last night. But I let go of Myself a little out of My norms which making Me feel guilty. Guilt … is it a sin or a reminder of what you are about to loose?

I have felt guilt before and even though I may hate Myself at that point of time, My guilt has always managed to make Me a better person and much more aware of the things that I wan to achieve in this life. I know that even a hard-ass like Me is a human and sometimes, I do get carried away too. But thanks to My guilt, I always see the bigger picture. Guilt puts the fear of god in Me and makes Me remind of the nightmares I have been through. It reminds Me of where I am coming from and where I will end up if I don’t make things right.

If it is meant to be then it is up to Me. I realized that a very long time ago. So here I am again, fixing what I broke. I mean I want too! I have so much on the line. Too many dreams at stake. Too many miles to cross. Too many things to do before I die. Too many things to do before I die …

End Of Entry No:5 …

******************************************************************

Entry No:4 …

07:27am …

On The Sets …

Pattaya, Thailand.

I am again ahead of time. The unit also hasn’t come yet. I was told to come by 07:30am, I reached here by 07:20am. I love being the 1^st guy on the set. I think My love for Movies is what brings Me here everyday before everyone else. Disciplines is very important in our chosen field because here time is money. I think I am have at least another 60mins or so before we take the 1^st shot and another 2-3 hours before the heat will start to affect us. One of My closet’s friends yesterday commented on My blog and thrashed. She said I am getting very repitive with the whole darkness thing and now she finds My blogs boring. She told Me to ‘Live A Little’ and ‘Smell The Aroma Of The Coffee’. Reading those words really hit Me hard. I mean come on! It was one of My friends saying this! Of course I would feel bad. But there is no point in over-thinking. What is done is done.

We packed up early yesterday so I got the chance to Workout, Shop, Watch A Movie and Have Dinner all by Myself! I don’t know but I love to go out all by Myself. There is a certain freedom to that you know. I could had taken My staff with Me like the other day when I treated them for a Foot Massage but whenever I get these opportunities, I love spending time with Myself and doing things I always wanted too. Sure I am connected to the world through twitter, bbm and text messages but when I am out all by Myself, I feel a certain happiness no friend or woman can fill. I know I am screwed up but I am this way. I think I always was. Sometimes being screwed up is the only ‘normal’ thing in you. The more I do these things, the more I come closer in knowing My true self. I don’t know if I ever will figure Myself out but I guess I can’t stop now, can I?

End Of Entry No:4 …

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Entry No:3 …

21:30hrs …

Pattaya, Thailand.

The food was supposed to come by 09:oopm now it is 09:30pm. I am starving. I seriously am. Although my dinner is only 2 portions of Fish Tikka, every bite of that feels like heaven for me. The caterers are taking their own sweet time in delivering me the food but the wait is killing me. Ask a man who diets how much food is important for him and he will dedicate essays to it! It is ok, I will wait. I mean, I have no other choice, do I? This city is a tourist spot and there are restaurants and bars in every corner. The moment you step outside you can only smell food and sex in the air. It is like walking into the garden of Eden. But still I make my way to the massage parlor. Those 60mins of foot massage therapy were much needed. My body cried for it. I know I am putting it through hell. I am punishing it. My skin is tanned because of the blazing heat, my feet ache because of all the strenuous work and I forgot the last time I slept properly. Even though I will be diagnosed as “Rest Required” I still push on. I know I will. And I will never stop …

I type these words and hear Age Of Rage in the back ground. Something about that song ignites me. Makes me realize I still have a lot of fight left in me and even though temptation tempts me I stand tall. Whether it is the women here, or the smell of the food or even the huge malls, I still make my way to the gym. I know I have to these workouts because I fear the guilt aftermaths. The aftermaths which lead to fear and fear which lead to insecurity. It is never ending cycle. I have to do things in order to succeed. I have to fight the pain my body goes through. But the thing that scares me the most is that I don’t want this pain to stop. It is a part of me now. I need pain because for me pain is progress. Every time I hear a muscle ache in pain, every morning when I force my eyes to open, every moment when I feel my senses depleting their powers I feel good for pain is temporary, pride is forever. I need to sleep now, tomorrow is another day. Another day in this un-ending, savage, brutal war I am fighting. A War that I can’t do without …

End Of Entry No:3 …

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Entry No.2 …

On The Sets,

Pattaya, Thailand.

The call time was 08:30am. I reached by 08:25am. The unit is still unloading it’s equipment from the vans. It will at least take another 60mins or so for the 1^st shot. I don’t mind the wait. I have waited far too long to be on a movie set and I would rather be early than be late. This place is from where I get my bread and butter from. This is the place where all my madness finally makes some sense. Yesterday after pack up I went for shopping, bowling and I even saw a film. I didn’t take anyone along. I wanted my ‘Me’ time. And trust me, I loved every moment of it! It was bliss! I was about to cry with happiness but what I did was Thanked the Universe for this feeling. It deserves it’s due. My staff wanted to come along. I said no, I want this moment for myself. What does that make me? A loner?

I don’t know. Why do I ask so many questions? Why do I over-think? Do I over-think? I really don’t know. I just type what I feel. Why am I writing these blogs? Is it because I want to be heard or am I so much in need of attention? My co-stars are gems. They are very down-to-earth and treat as one of their own. Then why don’t I get closer to them? What is keeping back? Have I really become so used to my loneliness that I have no need for anyone else? I think I am a hypocrite. On one hand I say I don’t want anyone and on the other hand I am writing these blogs for the whole world to read! I am screwed up. I was a broken piece of glass since day one. Only when I wanted to put myself together back again did I realize how broken I am.

There is a beautiful cat here but the owner of this place has tied her up to a pole. Maybe she must be notorious. But why do I see myself in her? Is she calling out to me? Do I also wanna be set free? What is it? I don’t know. But I sense it. That tingling feeling in my gut. That monster inside of me calling out, screaming out the same words it has for the last 13 years. “Set Me free! Set Me free!”. I still keep it contained. I am selfish. The monster within me harnesses a power. A power I use to go ahead. I am scared to let the monster loose. I know what it can do but I am more scared of the fact that he won’t need me anymore and I will be left without his power. I guess I am damaged goods after all …

End Of Entry No.2 …

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Part:1 …

Kaboom! What an inspiration that book is! Makes Me wanna blog more. It gives me the power to express and make the world listen to me. It is lunch time on the sets and everyone is having their food. I am all by myself having my chicken tikka and diet coke. The same I had yesterday and the day before that. The tongue has forgotten what food tastes like. I feel I have lost my sense of taste. I hear these men, married and single and the ones who have kids, telling their stories from the night before. Laughing and giggling and making themselves gods in their own tales. It never gets old. This feeling of power. They pay for sex and feel their own the bodies of these women. It is a tenacious cycle and I know it won’t stop. Should I do something about it? Should I get up and start a movement or just stay quiet? I don’t know what to do. I am lost in these thoughts but yet, in the same moment, I am know where I am and what I need to do.

I come on the sets on time in fact, before time and wait to be called for the shot. Some have given the liberty to come late because of their hangovers. I on the other hand don’t wanna go there. Use that get-out-of-jail-free-card and abuse my power. I haven’t reached that stage in my life. To be honest I never want too. That place is filled with scum and men who forgot their origins. I am a man who is filled with a certain darkness of his own but I know that there are some lines even I can’t cross. I wait to be on a movie set. It is my mecca. It is my temple and every breath here feels like gold. I never want this to end. I wanna die with my make up on. The world may not understand my hunger. In fact, I think they never will. But I still want them too. I don’t know why. I think I am a fool thinking that I will win this war. That one man can actually win over 7 billion! But I still fight on. I guess I am crazy.

I see people updating their bbm statuses. Putting up new pics of their boyfriends and girlfriends. Of their achievements and heart breaks. I used to care. I used to notice. But not anymore. I don’t care and maybe I just don’t want too. Is it because I am doing the one thing I was born to do? Am I really that selfish that I don’t give a damn anymore? I think I don’t even care about that. I am happy being here. Even here, I am the out cast. I was always the out cast. I don’t drink, smoke or get high and neither do I party. So how do I fit in? I can’t. So I move away. They laugh at me when I turn my back. They think I am still a kid. They don’t see beyond the make-up. They don’t see the emptiness in my eyes the years of struggle have taken away from me. They won’t understand. They are too busy living the life according to their opinions. While I am just the out cast. A name, they thought is best for Me. A name which now has began to define Me …

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The Blogger Anonymous ...

I wanted to write a different topic today. I mean I thought of it a few days back. And I was all prepared to write those letters down which will eventually form a sentence but then the course of My life took a slight turn and so here I am writing this Blog. The Blog Anonymous. I was recently talking to My friend about Power and what it does to us human beings. We all are looking for that ultimate power. That ultimate domination through which we can feel superior. In the end, it all comes down to the power game and everyone wants to play it. The question is what do we do with that power? My blogs in a way are a power tool for Me too. So the question rises, how do I use these letters, these words and these sentences? Do I use them to spread the message or lash out on the ones I hate ...

There are 7 billion people in this world! And according to a survey, there is a child being born every second! So you can imagine what mother earth must be going through right about now. But we are not concerned about her. Sure, we may have Earth Days now and awareness about how we are damaging the ozone layer but are we really doing something to help her out? No we are not because we are too busy thinking about others successes and enjoying their failures. Listening to the gossip of others and dishing out the details of as to whom slept with whom and which one of our friends is a womaniser or a slut. I try so hard to understand the human race but whenever I try, I fail. For we are so complexed. I will put My hand up and will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. Hell, I am the worst there is! There won't be that many DNA strands in My body to count the amount of flaws I possess and the things I do. For the record I am not looking for sympathy or pity. I am just trying to be honest and tell you that I have been bad too and will continue to do things for My selfish motives because I know that in order to survive in this brutal world and go ahead of the curve I have to do these things. I know people hate Me for who and what I am but as they say, you are not in My shoes and you don't know My war ...

They say Assumptions is one of the deadliest evils out there. Assuming things about a person can make that person hate or despise you. I face that everyday. Before, I used to get affected by it. The way people used to post comments on Me. Say things to Me because they 'assumed' that about Me. I feel angry today too. Trust me, I feel so angry but I know lashing back at those people will only make Me like them. People whom I don't know don't affect Me that much because their existence doesn't matter to Me. But what happens when assumptions start happening at the personal, safe and enclosed circle of yours? How do you convince your friend that you will keep your promise. It may take time but you will keep your promise. How do you make your girlfriend understand that in time the world will know what love is but right now, Work is more important and it is a priority and Work demands it's sacrifices. How do you convince your Fans that you are actually pretty damn serious about your work but they think you are not 'hungry' anymore because you are a star kid. What do you say to your family when they think you are not pushing hard enough? We all have our own battles to fight but sadly, the truth is, the 7 billion people out there don't wanna understand that. They think you got it easy. They always think you got it easy ...

You have no idea what I go through. You have no idea what it is that I have to do to survive. I have to fight too. I have My own private hell too which is filled with fears and insecurities but in the end it always come down to that one choice. The choice which in turn becomes a question. That what will I do? Will I write this blog and gain sympathy or will I stand up and fight and still accept your Hate? I choose to stand because I know that if I fall, I will never rise again and where I am right now, I can't afford to fall. For the domino affect will affect all those around Me. The ones I love. The ones whom I fight for. I once again apologise for My behaviour. Sometimes, the human side of Me wants to have a voice too. It wants to be heard and it wants to be understood. I know not all of you will love Me after this. Many of you will still hate Me and think that filth like Me can't be changed. But I hope that one day, someone out there, for just even one moment relates to Me through this blog and understands that behind all My choices are reasons. Reasons that are beyond the norms of good and evil, and right or wrong. I hope that someday I am remembered not for the faults but for the greater goods that only come after the realm of darkness. So this is Me, writing this blog without a topic, without any message or any view point. I am just letting out how I feel.

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is a Blog. A Blog Anonymous ...

With All My Might,
Your Number One Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

The Number 28 ...

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. 

John F. Kennedy 

It has been over a year now. This same time last year I started writing My blogs. I never knew I would come this far. I mean every week one blog entry! I think I gotto tap Myself on the shoulder and say, “Well done Mahaakshay!”. But to be honest, My blogs wouldn’t had been ‘Blogs’ if you all didn’t read it. So thank you! Thank you from the bottom of My heart for supporting Me and My views. I hope you all continue doing so for many more years to come. My Blog, on My last birthday was called The Number 27, so I thought of repeating the same custom this year. Hence The Number 28. A lot has happened in this one year! I would love to tell you all the details but I think this time I will just highlight the parts I remember and the ones which have made Me really really happy! The Secret says that the greatest power in the universe is appreciation and gratitude and what better way to wish Myself Happy Birthday than by saying Thank You too all those moments. 

So here we go …

I read a very beautiful tweet a while back. It said, I can sum life up in three simple words. “It Moves On”. So true. I learnt that in this past year. I shot for 2 films. Met so many people. Made wonderful friends. Found I had enemies and also learnt to see life from a fresher perspective. Life has a funny way of teaching us our lessons. If we have the ability to observe everything that happens to us. In these 365 days, I learnt My lessons. And I am glad I did. Before I was disgusted by My Hate. But now, I use My Hate as a motivation to move ahead. Today I have so many friends. It is not because they came to Me, it is because I understood that I had flaws that had to be rectified. That I had to open up and give people chances. I have understood that Patience is not only Man’s Greatest Test, it is also what defines Him! I understood that Choices not Chances shape up your destiny. I let things go which were not in My control because I realized that if they are meant to be Mine, they will eventually be Mine. I accepted that I have to wait for certain things but found the beauty in waiting because all great things are worth the wait. I cried many a times but not tears of sorrow but of joy because I was thankful for what I was blessed with! Where I thought, “This is it!” life told Me it is not the end of the road but just a curve. Where I thought My life was over, I realized, it was only the beginning … 

I know I have just begun living My life. There are many more responsibilities I have to take. Many more dreams that have to come true. Many more journeys that I have to take. But when I look back, all I can do now is smile. My past is filled with the good and the bad but each experience has brought Me so far. So I thank every moment for it has defined Me. Made Me strong. Made Me the Man I am today. I know I am not perfect. I know I still have My flaws. But now, instead of running away from them, I have learnt to accept them. For they are a part of Me. For they will always remind Me that in the end, I am just Human. I have done My share of mistakes but now I have learnt to spread joy too. My soul may be consumed by Ambition but I also know that there are people who need My attention. Who sometimes just want Me to be Me. I don’t know what is in stored for Me in the future but something tells Me it is only going to get better. Not only because it is meant to be, it is also because I believe. That is what Patience does to a man. It not only makes him strong, it also gives him hope. Hope, that changes everything. So today, writing this blog, I write it as a believer. A believer who will always believe. A believer who knows that beyond all damnation lies hope. Hope that gives us Faith, Faith in ourselves. Faith, that can never be broken … 

I have tried to express Myself as much as I could in My blogs and I wish I can keep on doing that for years to come. To tell you a secret I used to write a diary and I have volumes of more than 11 years with Me! But since I started blogging, this blog site has become My diary and now I let 7 billion have access to it. I know it takes time to write these entries but I also know it takes equal amount of time to read them too. So once again, thank you! Thank you all from the bottom of My heart for the love you have given. To be honest I will never be able to thank you all enough. You give Me love. Shower me with compliments and respect and admiration. And even the ones who hate Me, I sense love in your hate because it takes a lot of energy to be disgusted by someones guts and beliefs! So this is Me, on My 28^th Birthday wishing you all a very happy 365 days ahead! God put Me on this earth for a reason and for that very same reason he sill wants Me here. I don’t know what that is but what I do know is that I will keep on doing what I am supposed too. Yes, I will make mistakes. I will be foolish sometimes. And I may hurt others too. But I am here to learn and to grow. And more than that, I am here to understand. I just hope I do. 

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and for Me, the Journey has only just begun …

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

Game On!

"My mom didn't let me play video games growing up, so now I do. Gaming gives me a chance to just let go, blow somebody up and fight somebody from another dimension. It's all escapism." - Wayne Brady


I knew, that the moment I will dedicate a Blog to video games, IGN will love it! I hope they do because I will surely send them the link to it! And Before I go even a word further, I wanna send My deepest condolences to all the families who lost their loved ones at the recent shooting which happened during the midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises. I know whatever I say won't change the way they feel but I something is better than nothing, right? May all their souls, rest in peace. And Bollywood lost it's 1st Original Superstar, Mr.Rajesh Khanna. Sir, you will be deeply missed and thank you for all the amazing films you have given to us over the years! May you glitter the heavens with your charm and charisma as well.

And now, We begin ...

To tell every story, we must always go back to the beginning, as to how it all began. This story is no different. Video games have always been a part of My life. Since the time I knew what 2+2 was, I was fascinated by video games. Whether it was Atari or Media Mega Drive. Or if it was Sega or Nintendo during My teen years, I always loved Video Games. I remember My cousins and friends coming over to My place to play Super Mario Bros and Contra. I remember playing Tetris on My 1st Game Boy. Even Tom Cat Alley on My Sega Cd. Beautiful memories that still linger somewhere between My Responsibilities and the Acts of Fate that I face everyday. Memories that remind Me who I truly am and where I am coming from and where I am heading. One of My favorite Actresses of all time, Eva Longoria once said that she could never date a guy who only plays video games. I respect her decision. And maybe the vast majority of women out there agree with her notions. Most women think that a guy who plays Video Games is not a Man but still very much a kid. Well ladies, just like Diamonds are your best friends, Video Games are ours. Trust Me, I know ...

It is actually very hard to explain and put into words as to how important video games and gaming is to Me. They are not something to pass my time with. They are an essence. The common thread that holds everything together. For you, that PS3 may just be scrap metal with some wires attached to it but for Me, it is My friend and this friend of Mine offers Me something far beyond My imagination! It offers Me worlds to explore, places to visit, people to interact with. To be a superhero and save the world in various ways. It gives Me characters to play, houses to build and wars to fight! It's takes Me to places where I can forget who I am and become a different person entirely! For those 60 mins or so, it let's Me escape and make Me forget all the stresses of life! It gives Me a different kind of freedom only a game controller can give. Many of you may not relate to My emotions but some of you may. That video game controller doesn't only let Me escape. It also gives Me a Power. A Power only the deserving few understand ...

I am an Actor and when I am Shooting, I shoot for 12 hours to 16 hours in a day. I work under various weather conditions. Sometimes, it is either too hot or extremely cold and sometimes I have to deal with annoying people on the sets too. People whom you have to work with and who only give you stress. So I make it a point that whenever I come home, I put on My PS3 or XBOX360 and play at least for 60 mins and whenever I do I de-stress completely! It's like I am a new man! My mind is clearer, I am much more relaxed and more focused to take the tasks ahead! Today, technology gives us gaming at our finger tips. Whether it is the PS Vita or the Nintendo 3DS, we can even carry our games wherever we go and we can also get connected via multiplayer with the world! Today, the possibilities are endless! And because of the Multiplayer option I have made so many Friends from all around the world to share My Gaming experiences with! In fact, for Resident Evil:6 I am planning to play it with My online friends so that the experience would be less scarier and more fun! So you see Gaming isn't bad. You just have to see it or rather I should say, play it from a different point of view ...

I can go and on and on as to how amazing the feeling is to play Call of Duty or Medal Of Honor in My hall with Dolby Surround and how 3D Games and the Kinnect make you feel you are more closer to the experience but the bottom line is that I love Video Games! Not only because they are stress busters but also because they are great motivators for Me! Whenever I earn Trophies during in-game modes or when I say Prophet from Crysis:2 kick bad guys asses I get motivated to hit the Gym or go for My Mma Classes and punch a little harder because these Games make Me believe that if they can achieve the impossible, so can I. If nothing is impossible in there, then noting is impossible in Me too! All I have to do is tap those regions in My head which have never been tapped before. And every game I have played has brought Me closer to My Truth. The truth that yes, I can kick ass too. All I have to go is Never Give Up ...

So before I go I just wanna say is that we all have our own escapism. Some do it by drinking. Some do it with Drugs. I urge you to do it through Video Games. Not only are they fun but they are also safe. So this is Me declaring to the world that yes, I am a Gamer and a proud one. And I know that I will be playing Video Games for a very long time to come. The question is, what will you do?

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and i declare to all of you ... GAME ON!

With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

When All Else Fails ...

"A Hero Is An Ordinary Individual Who Finds The Strength To Persevere  And Endure In Spite Of Overwhelming Obstacles." - Christopher Reeve


Christopher Reeve. one of the greatest men who ever lived! And the True Superman! Even when He was told there was No Hope for a better future, he fought back and lived! He lived as a Hero. He survived, even when all else failed. And he will always be remembered. Kudos to you sir! So before I begin this Blog, I had to dedicate the first few lines to him! And also, I wanna say Thank You to all of you once again for the amazing response you gave to My last Blog Entry. Thomas Jane himself  Tweeted Me saying that He loved it! It was a dream come true for Me! I mean, I worship the guy! I still have His Punisher Poster on My Wall and He tweeted Me! Dreams do come true! One of Mine just did!  And whoever out there who relates to War like I do, I insist you to read Matt Gallagher's Kaboom: Embracing The Suck In A Savage Little War. I just started reading it and I am already loving every page of it!

And now we begin ...

We all fight. We all some how survive. We go on because we know we can. Some do it because they love to fight, {people like Me}, some do it because they have no choice and some do it just for the heck of it. We have our good days and bad days. Some days we win and somedays we loose. We fall and rise. Many of you out there will relate to this as a part of life. A lifestyle I should rather say. But as anyone out there, who enjoys breathing oxygen, or loves eating food and finds peace in the company of others, the constant fighting, eventually, does take a toll on all of us. One day or the other. It sometimes gets so hard that you have no other choice but to break. And you tell yourself that you can't do it anymore. That you wanna quit. That you want the Madness to stop. That you can't bare anymore Punishment. That enough is enough! But after all the pain and the tears, there is still something that keeps you going. A Power in you that never stops. That tells you to go on. So I ask you, what is that keeps you going? As all who search for answers, I asked Myself that very question too and I found the answer. So this is Me telling you what I do When All Else Fails ...

I love My Family. I love My Friends and I love the life that has been given to Me. And I have tried to find happiness in the smallest of things and most of the time I have found it. But sometimes, just 'living' is not enough. You know you deserve more and you have the talent to embrace it. But life is never easy and the more we go behind the gold, the more it gets tougher. And the more you embark on that journey, the more you realize that feelings and attachments mean so little. They, after a point of time become weaknesses that hold you back. And slowly slowly, as you go ahead you become this unstoppable force which only knows to do one thing. And that is to keep pushing forward. To never stop. Even when the body is broken, the spirit goes on. Even when the mind is corrupted, the desire in the heart never stops. Even When All Else Fails, you keep on pushing. Not because you wanna win but because you just wanna go on. And you realize, that after a point of time you don't wait to reach destinations, you just enjoy the journeys ...

I have been in these situations a billion times in the past and each time I wanted to quit, something in Me always told Me to go on. To never stop. At first I thought I thought it was My Soul. Later I thought it was My Will. Then I thought it was My Hate. But now, I realize that it was just Me, in My Purest form. Deep within Me. My True Self. I am made to fight. To always keep on fighting. Even one day, when I will make all My dreams come true, I will still keep on fighting because that is what I am programmed to do. That is Who I Am. A Fighter. And Fighters Love To Fight! So even when all the chips are down. Even when all hope is lost. Even When All Else Fails, I know I will never stop. As they say, "You can take the soldier out of the War but you can never take the War out of the soldier."

So before I go all I want to say is that I know Life isn't easy. And it will only get tougher. And it will break you and it won't stop until you quit. But we all still fight. And we will always keep on fighting. Not only because we want to win because we know that after a point of time, when all else will fail, the fight is all that we will have left. For there will be no more destinations, only journeys ...

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and When All Else Will Fail, I will still keep on fighting. The question is, What will you do?

With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

I Am My Music ...

After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
Aldous Huxley


Music. The one thing which we we all have in common. Of course, our tastes may differ from person to person but the Rhythm and Tune are mostly the same. As said above, After the Silence, it is the Music which expresses our true selves and I am proud to admit, that yes, I am My Music! There are so many Genres of Music out there today! Music has become a part of us now. With technology giving us the power to listen to music wherever we go, music come closer to us than it was 20 years ago. I was in Europe recently and I visited Paris, I took the Metro to see all the lovely places I wanted and the one thing I noticed was almost everyone had their Dr.Dre headphones on and were lost in their own worlds with their Music. Music is not only a solution to kill traffic time anymore. It has become a means of expressing one's true self. Long gone are the days when we were recognized by the friends we had. Today, we are better known by the Playlists we have in our ipods. Being a Music Lover Myself, I know how important it is to know and respect the Music I hear because there have been times when Friends or People have not been able to help Me change My Mood or Outlook towards Life. But My Music, in times like those, has always shown Me the way. In it's own way, with it's sounds and beats and guitars, it has always shown Me, that no matter how tough things may get, Happiness is only One Song away ...


Of course, you must be wondering, that since I am talking about Music, which is My Favorite Genre. Well, it is Rock. No, not the Metal one. But just Rock, the Real Rock. The one which truly expresses it's meaning! I mean, there is something magical in the strings of those Electric Guitars and the great Musicians who play them. Back in the Day, Rock was condemned because of it's Dark and Negative Lyrics and Bad Approach to Life. But now, I have come to Believe that Rock possesses a Truth. A Truth only Pain can show. Disturbed and Nickelback are few of those Rock Bands out there who really emote the True Emotions of Life and yes, I have heard Stupify from Disturbed I think about a Billion Times and counting! Try to hear it yourself if you can, I mean, if you are a Fan of Rock that is. Back in the day, I, Myself couldn't understand what Rock was. But as Life unfolded in front of Me, I got more and more glued to it. At first, it was kinda of an escapism for Me. But as time passed, it slowly became a part of Me. Yes, I love Rock and I always will but No, I can't play the Electric Guitar but yes, I am up for a Challenge any day on Guitar Hero! 


I know this may sound kinda funny but I have created this Rock Band called The Common Five. it consists of Me, My two Bros and My Sis and the 5th Member being everyone in the audience who listens to our music. Al though, it is all in My head, Till today, My Bros and Sis think that it is the most ridiculous thing I have come up with but since Guitar Hero introduced it's Rock Band, I got hitched to the Idea of My Own Family Rock band! So you see, this is what Music does! It makes you something extra-ordinary! It makes you feel you are Untouchable! The Ladies Man or the Guy who is the Heart Throb of Millions! You have no idea how many times I have had that embarrassing moment when My Sister caught Me in the Act of enacting the Vocals of My Favorite Songs! She laughs like there is no tomorrow! And it has mostly happened when I have My ipod hitched to the Bose Dock! Come to think of it, I think I do look funny doing those Moves but that is the point you see. Music just doesn't make you feel better, it sets you free!


As human beings we go through thousands of emotions of everyday and I guarantee you this, that there may not be that many food items or drinks out there for every mood you go through but there is surely a song out there! Before going for My Mma Classes, I pump Myself with Rock Songs. When I am doing My Voice Practice, I search for Soothing Songs and when I am in a Fun Mood, I hear Pop or Romantic Songs and whenever I do listen to the Music, I feel a part of Me come alive. I know that I am a Serious Blogger and I am more into Philosophy but I believe Music is serious for Me too for in times when I lost the way, Music got Me back in track. When I really wanted to feel good, Music was there. When I wanted to remember why I was fighting for, Music was there. So this is Me, dedicating this Blog to all those talented Musicians out there who help people like Me in more ways than one. I urge you all to listen to the Music for you never know, in which Genre you will find your own true self. So before I go, I ask you is this, Are You Your Music?


This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am My Music.


With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

For The Greater Good ...

He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.
- James Allen


Today is the 2nd of July. 26 years ago a very beautiful girl was born. And her Mom named her Lindsay. Yes, today is Lindsay Lohan's Birthday and as one of her die-hard fans, this is Me wishing her a Very Happy Birthday and Many Many Happy Returns of the Day! May she get all the happiness in the world and may all her dreams come true! I know there are many who don't like her but I am one of them who adores her because she is talented and I know that one day, she will prove all her haters wrong and she will rise and triumph. :-)


And now, Blog Time ...


As you read the quote I pasted at the top, My Blog has a lot to do with the words the Great James Allen said. Mostly focusing on 'Sacrifice'. This same time, last year, I decided to start writing My weekly blogs and when I started writing them back then, I never knew that this one year journey would bring so much of a change in Me. Yes, Time changes every man but I must say, My Blogs and the response I got from My readers has helped Me become a better person and take a step towards a better future. My birthday is coming up in a month and all I can is that I am proud of the change in Me. The transformation in Me and most importantly, the strength I have gained in these last 365 days. The Strength not only to change but also the strength to let things go and sacrifice the 'right-nows' for 'later-ons'. And letting go of the temporary happiness I achieved by doing the things that I wanted to do for the Greater Good ...


What does the Greater Good mean? There are many ways to explain this but no one meaning explains it. Does the Greater Good mean killing 100 hostages than letting the terrorists kill a million? Does the Greater Good mean that you let one soldier get left behind than risking the lives of the 10 more who will go search for him? Or does it mean to wait for an entire nation to do die until another country invades it and frees the people from the dictators tyranny? As I said, there are many ways you can see this and in a world where there are more 7 billion people, each one of us has their own opinion. For Me, it is not about Politics. It is not about the corrupt who take our money. It is not about the Evil which walks on this planet. It is about a War which all of us have in common. The War within us. The Choices that confuse us. Which sometimes make us go crazy and sometimes, even the paths we have to take. Trust Me, I have been there and I know it is not easy. Although My heart will say one thing, My Mind will say another and 90% of the time, I win and I feel very good about Myself but the thing is as time goes by, I realize that would I did and what I chose wasn't the right thing. It was only a temporary thing. But now I know that no matter how much we want things to happen in the moment, we have to let go of them ... For The greater Good.


There are so many things I want. I know, the list is endless. And the moment I get even one thing from that Want List of Mine, I see something else and put that on My Want List! I know, that the Want List will never end. But this isn't about My Want list from Santa Claus. These are the things that make Me happy on a daily basis. Of course, I would love to share My Wants with you but I have realized that there once every life time there comes a point in our lives when we are given the choice. The choice to choose the 'right-now' or wait for the 'Greater Good'. I mean the right-now is there, right in front of you and it is so good and tempting and you know it is yours but the greater good gives you more. The only catch is you gotto let go of the things you love right now in order to achieve the greater good. Trust Me, it ain't easy but sometimes, you just have to because you know, no matter how hard it is to Sacrifice the right now, that Sacrifice will be worth it. Yes, one day, it will be. And when that happens, you will be glad that you made the right choice. I know I will. 


Life is hard, I think I second that notion with each and everyone of you. We always want that special someone to text us. We all want to go out on a date with that Celeb we have a crush on, or drive that dream car, or learn that language and even get that Shoe we saw while shopping. There are so many things and it ain't easy letting them go when they can be yours. But life is only excited when you know and believe in the uncertainty of it. When you know that even though you don't know what is ahead of you, you have the strength in yourself to let go and wait for The Greater Good. That the Fight will always go on and We will always fight and sometimes life will put us in places where we thought we would never be. But that's the best part, isn't it? The unexpectedness of it! You never what will happen tomorrow. We all are here because of the Choices that we have made and we will continue going towards the path of the choices that we will make. The only question I ask you is this, Are you the 'Right-Now' person or the one who is willing to Sacrifice all the happiness that you have now for the 'Greater Good'?


This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am waiting for the Greater Good.


With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.