The Road So Far ...

The Only Journey Is The One Within.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Rocky is only a few days away from release. And I am right now on my way back to mumbai. Me and the family had gone down south to visit all the properties as we do every two months. Sitting here, in the middle seat with my sister at the window and lovely gentleman in the aisle, who has given me fever because of his viral, I can only think of one thing. The road so far. Ya. It has been a beautiful journey for me. One that has taught me so many a things and is still continuing to do so. Rocky is my 1st bengali film and my 1st release after loot, which was nearly 2 years ago. Yes, in my field, 2 years is a lot of time but I guess fate wanted it to be this way. I am very proud of Rocky and now I can only hope that the world loves Rocky as much as I do. Rocky will always be a pat on the back for me as Rocky has made me a better person. The journey of Rocky has taught me many things and this blog is a description to the road travelled. I have understood that my blogs have always been my 'confessions' to the world. I know I don't owe them any but I guess my conscious feels it is the right thing to do. So here I am, on the verge of Rocky's release telling you, the world, of The Road So Far …

The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being.

-Dag Hammarskjold

In all the blogs that I have written so far, one thing I guess you all must have understood by now is that I am a man in the quest to find his greatness. That I have dedicated my heart and soul to this quest and that I won't stop until I attain it. But one thing that is truly ironic is that no matter how many blogs I write, no matter how many open confessions I say, the world, and the people closest to me fail to understand that. I read somewhere that "Success comes to us all. What is required is the strength to go to the dark place it takes you." I know what I have become. Monster is the common terminology used for me. Sometimes even Asshole and Bastard too. But I am cold and distant for a reason. It is required for me to be so. For greatness comes with a price. The monster known as Greatness demands to be fed. It demands this sacrifice from me. But the ones whom I care for, don't understand that. I know my sister from america will read this and curse me by saying that I am a spoil brat and that I don't cherish life. But the truth is, I really cherish my life! I enjoy every moment of it! The only difference is that I am very self-centred about it. I don't share my happiness because people don't understand. I have tried several times but my excitement has always been put down because the tags that I have been given. They always want me to be simple and be there for them but the truth is, I can never be. I have tried to be normal and like the cute boy next door but no one sees the life I live and responsibilities that I have to under take and the things that I have to do. I have tried the honesty part, been very clear what will happen if they come close to me. But I guess honesty doesn't work too. Trust me, if I had a choice to have the best of both worlds, at one side I could be and the world loved for it and the other side I would had been the normal guy and didn't have these responsibilities, I would had taken that option in a heart beat. But I guess God likes throwing Irony at me from time to time …

I think a spiritual journey is not so much a journey of discovery. It's a journey of recovery. It's a journey of uncovering your own inner nature. It's already there.

-Billy Corgan

I am right now reading Arnold's Total Recall. More than the fact that I share the same birthday with him, I have been one of his biggest fans! And the more I read about him, the more I am amazed how much we have in common. The only difference is that he had Maria to support him and friends who weren't afraid of him. They all helped him and boosted him to make it big and he was his true self with them. His friends and Maria gave him the freedom to be expressive and free and honest instead of over-assuming every situation and being negative about everything that he said. At times like these, I really do envy Arnold. But hey, I am not complaining. It is good to know what people think of you. How honest they are to you and what their true feelings are. I am admitting today that I have pushed people away from me. I have been one of the few who has been given the chance to be loved by so many but me being me, I have always pushed them away. Of course, they have cursed me and abused me and hated me for that but not even once have they asked why did I do all that. I know myself you see. I have seen how this all plays out. I am a ticking time bomb and I am consumed by my own ambition and this ambition has no place for normalcy or simplicity. It requires a certain amount of giving and the more you walk in this path, the more you realise how lonely this path is. But it is a calling. From the gods themselves that I will always walk this path alone and whomsoever has loved me will eventually be left behind by me. So instead of leading them into the darkness I push them away for their own good. They don't realise this but whatever I have done, I have done for the greater good of their existence. No matter how much I try to explain the calling, they just seem to be never get it and instead of saying "it is ok" they give their own notions of what is right and what is wrong. How do you tell these people that you will always be alone? And all of this is just temporary? That one day, a time will come that I will leave all of them and go to where my greatness takes me! How do I explain to them that I can never get close, that I can never love and that I can never be normal! How do I make them understand ...

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

-Marcel Proust

I recently read Punisher: Born for the 50th time and trust me, how many a times I read it, it just keeps getting better and better. I remember there was a time when all My bros and sis and friends were addicted to the Punisher comic books as much as me and it was a beautiful site to see all of them reading different volumes of the Punisher Max Series but that is a far off memory now. Now people think that I am still a kid who reads comic books. They don't want to even for a moment sit and think how important they have been for me. I hope one day, the world sees how great The Punisher truly is and how important he has been for carving me into the man that I am today. If you ever get a chance to read the Punisher comic books you will get a very clear idea as to what kind of a guy I am. Of course, I don't kill the evil of this world but I surely think the way Frank does. I am not going to write the synopsis of the Punisher books now but I am surely going to write a line out of the Born edition of it. "Hey, Frank. Congrats! You gave your War a stay of execution." Those lines have been rounding my head since the last time I read the book. A man, so much in love with war that he finally gives in to pay the ultimate sacrifice for it. In this journey of mine I have understood that in the end, we all walk our own paths alone and the sooner we realise that, the sooner the better for all of us. 

I had become, with the approach of night, once more aware of loneliness and time - those two companions without whom no journey can yield us anything.

-Lawrence Durrell

The road so far has been a blessing for me because I have learnt so much from it. I know this journey of learning and knowledge will never end and to be honest, I am hungry to learn more. I have realised many a things. I now know the difference between love and hate. The way I love my family, I know in the same opposite way I have hated the ones who hate me too. I know that I can't please the entire world and that is why instead of fearing things I just become numb, the way I am now on the verge of Rocky's release. I still hate people. Some of them I have worked with. Some of them who have done or said things to me. Trust me, there is a side of me which only wants them to suffer and see them burn but at the same time, I have also realised that I can't burn for them for I will only harm myself. I have learnt to mind my own business and stay away from gossip. I have come to terms with where I am today and instead of cursing that, I am looking ways to improve myself. I have become more calm but at the same time I know what my priorities are. I have learnt that being truthful and honest is more better than to lie and remember, no matter if people don't wanna accept that or understand me. I have realised that no matter how much people say they are there for you, they actually want you to be there for them. I can go and on and on but the more I see the truth, the more it gets crazier. 

The spiritual path - is simply the journey of living our lives. Everyone is on a spiritual path; most people just don't know it.

-Marianne Williamson

I don't know what is stored in front of me. I actually have no clue. But all I can is thank you to the universe above for giving me this path. Yes, this path demands sacrifice. It demands the very essence of my soul and I know one day it will call for me. That day, I will leave everyone behind and walk into the oblivion. I know no one will understand this. The sacrifices I had to make. The pain that I had to endure by the ones who never understood and by the ones who have failed to understand. I don't mind being the bad guy for the entire world. If that is the price then so be it. But I know I won't stop. Only a few men in history have had the courage to let go of the ones they once loved to find the things they were destined to achieve. I know I am one of them. Before I go, all I want to say is that life is wonderful because it shows us the true colours of the ones who are closest to you. It is up to us to make the hardest decisions of our lives for the greater good of others. I hope someday, long after I am gone, I will be remembered for that. But until, I walk on. I walk this path alone.

We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile.

-Earl Nightingale

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this had been The Road So Far …

With All My Might,

Your No:1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

P.S. Fate Is Beautiful.

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A Force Of Nature ...

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

-Ashley Smith

Life has changed. It has changed for the better. And as each day goes by it gets better and better. Like wine. I am proud of myself. Not for the way I look now or the way I treat people. It is because I have evolved from the man I was. And I am still evolving. Today I look for the good in people and the good in me too. The world shows you what you wanna see. It is as simple as that. Before I was all dark and angry and twisted but today, I see myself in a new light. If you meet me today, you will see me covered in orange because Orange is bright and the only way to be positive is to believe that we can glow. But I think I have already told you guys about this in my previous blog. And something tells me that I have your support as well. I thank you for that. But this blog isn't a repeat copy and paste feature. This is about something else. This blog is of origins and what I truly want. I know if I say 'War' and 'Battle' and 'Darkness' you may think I am going Sith Mode again. But no, I am not. I am positive now and I have promised myself that I will always see the good in everything. This blog is about a Force that drives us. A force which was given to us when we were born. A Force Of Nature. You see we are who we are. And no matter what we do, we can never change that. As they say, "You Can Take The Dog Out Of The Fight. But You Can Never Take The Fight Out Of The Dog." …

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

-E. E. Cummings

I have always been a Fighter. I have fought all my life. And I know that I will always keep fighting. Before all my energy was focused on the wrong set of ideas. I was more focused on jealousy and the lack of happiness and which guy is dating whom and which girl is doing what etc etc. But today I have reached a place where I know that I can't please everyone. I have simply stopped caring what people think of me and how important it is for me to 'fit in'. Today, I plan to 'Stand Out' and make my own mark wherever I go. But in the midst of all the calm that is now my life, a thought lingers in my head. A voice that doesn't plan to shut up. It is like an echo. A reverberation affect to all that I do. And the same words keep repeating over and over again. "You know who you are. You know what you have to do. And you know what you miss the most. You want it back, don't you? That missing piece of the puzzle. That one thing which completes you. You hunger for it. You lust for it. You desire it. I know you are good now. You have taken a positive approach to things. But still, still there is that want, isn't it? That want which never dies. That want which makes you who you are. You know what you miss. You miss Your War. You miss your Fight and you want it back. You want it back so bad! Don't You?" 

Is it a crime, to fight, for what is mine?

-Tupac Shakur

Yes, I miss my fight. I really do. I need it. I need it so bad. I wanna wake up in the morning knowing that I will fight. Knowing that today I will give more than I gave yesterday. I want to feel pain. I want to feel my muscles completely sore. I wanna see cuts and bruises on my body. I want to feel complete. And My Fight is the only thing that makes me feel like that. I am Home when I am at the Battlefield. There lies my purpose. There lies my true calling. The universe has always listened to me. It has always given what I wanted. And now, I want my fight back. I so want it! I feel complete when I am training. When I am working. I know many people out there will tag me as an outcast. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. My purpose lies there. With my blood, sweat and tears. I don't know if you can relate to the way I feel but this is the way I feel right now. And I asking all of you to ask that for me too. Calmness is good but it isn't my salvation. My salvation lies in the giving of the soul. Giving myself completely to my cause. For that is where Mimoh becomes Mahaakshay. And right now, I am sub-quoting lines from the great Marther Luther King but it is very important that I do so in order to say what I actually wanna say, so here goes. "I have a dream. And in that dream I never stop. I never stop the giving. I do it everyday. Even when my body is broken. Even when I haven't slept for days. When I haven't even eaten. I never stop. Even when I don't see my family for months. Loose all my friends and have forgotten a woman's touch, I have a dream that I never stop. War is the place I call home. The sound of battle sounds like temple bells. The pain only makes me stronger. And The Punishment my body endures only makes me Indestructible. I Have A Dream, A Dream In Which I Never Stop."

Better to fight for something than live for nothing.

-George S. Patton

I am not grumpy right now. No. I am just feeling incomplete. I know negativity creates more negativity and for the record this isn't a complaint. It is a requirement. It is a need that I want. It has been with me for all this while but now it is out there. All I want is for it to come back to me. My hunger. My need. My want. I want it all back. I can right now openly confess that if you give me all the riches in the world in one hand and my fight on the other, I won't even blink twice to choose my fight. Since this is a blog of honest confessions, I am admitting that I am not me when I calm. Calm is not the end game for me. Until I die I wanna fight. I never want to come home and chill. I want to be out there, fighting my fight. No matter what the cost is. I always wanna keep on fighting. I know I have this great power in me. This unstoppable force which wants to be unleashed. I admit today that I closed the lit on it too tightly. But as they say, "Cage The Beast For Long And The Beast Gets Angry." The Beast within me is banging that door. It wants to come out. Thinking of it right now, I don't know why I shut it away in the first place because that beast is my source of power. That Beast is a Force Of Nature to be reckoned with. And it longs for War! It longs for Battle. It longs for the never-ending struggle my soul signed up for in the 1st place …

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

-Phyllis Diller

I usually write 5 paragraphs per blog. It is like a thing I do whenever I write. To portray my message or something. And I know now that this is the last paragraph of this blog although I don't want it to be. I want to vent out. I want to look up and tell the universe to give me back my war. To give me a real fight. For this power in me is growing everyday and now the whispers have becomes screams! They yell! They want their freedom. The monster wants to come out. But this time, the monster doesn't want to burn the world. It just wants to come out. It just wants to fight. The monster wants his war. He wants me to feel the pain, the anguish and the suffering only to make me stronger. The Monster within is a Force Of Nature and I beg the universe to let him out for that is who I am. That is who I will always be. Before I go I just want to say that we all are driven by purpose. We all need a fight and we all want to achieve great things. My fuel was always my fight. And I know no matter how good I become, I will always need it. Don't take me wrong, I am not the bad guy anymore. I just want My Fight back. I want my identity back. I want to be out there where I belong. I want that dream of mine to come true. I want it to never end. There is a reason why I loved The Punisher, Hulk, Wolverine and Ghost Rider so much. They have always been my vents. They have always been there to make me realize who I truly am. All these may have chosen the wrong path but their intentions were always noble. I didn't realize that before but today I do. I guess maturity does to you. It makes you realize the difference and gives us the power to choose. So Dear Universe, I know you are listening. You know what I am capable off and now I also know that monsters aren't that bad, they also need vents. Just like us. I think the time has come you let My Monster out too. For he speaks to me every moment and he says one thing to me over and over again … "Set. Me. Free."

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

-Margaret Thatcher

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am A Force Of Nature To Be Reckoned With. Even The Universe Knows That.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

P.S. Give Me A Real Fight!

The Demons Come To Rest ...

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.

-Buddha

We all have demons. Trust me I know. My demons have been with me for ages and after a while, they are the only ones I had. I started to believe that being bad is the only way to be successful and to find true happiness. I was wrong. I was so wrong. Today, writing this blog, I realise how beautiful life is. And to be honest, it always was. I was a prick not to realise that. But hear I am, writing down my thoughts to make myself realise that life isn't all about the demons, it is about the angels as well. Before I use to see the mirror and only see a monster in it. A monster who wanted to burn the world because he was so angry all the time. A monster who forget that there is still a lot of good in him. A monster who wanted to believe that darkness is the only light there is. But today, after all these years I can proudly say that one by one, all of my demons are now coming to rest …

There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.

-Henry Miller

As you know I love playing video games. And a couple of years ago I was engrossed in one of the Splinter Cell games. In fact, it was my 1st attempt to finish it. I really loved playing the game and in the last stage of the campaign, Sam Fisher, the hero of the game comes face to face with the villain who takes controls of the white house and kills almost everyone inside it brutally. After sam aka me on the controller manages to kill all his goons, I have the trigger on the bad guy's head and the designers of the game, give me a choice whether to kill or not kill the bad guy. I choose option one and put a bullet through his head because that bastard deserved it. But here is where it gets tricky. At that moment, right before I was making that choice, something in my gut told me NOT to kill the bad guy. I guess that was the good in me which was awakened at that point of time. Today, if I have to play that game all over again I would surely choose not to kill the bad guy and do you know why? Because there is a difference between the good and the bad. The bad always kill but the good always prevail because they make the hard decisions. They show mercy even in the midsts of chaos because that is what makes you a man of the light not a man of the darkness. :-)

There is never time in the future in which we will work out our salvation. The challenge is in the moment; the time is always now.

-James A. Baldwin

Just for the record, I am still a hardcore fanatic of The Punisher and I always will be. Very few people in my life have made me the man I am today and The Punisher is one of them. But today, as all my demons are slowly coming to rest, I am understanding even Batman's point of view. You know, "It doesn't matter if this man is guilty, he still deserves a fair trial. I am a vigilante, yes but I am not an executioner." Those words wake me up at night because today they have meaning in my life. Today, the good has meaning in my life. Not the anger that engulfed me for all these years. I must say that in the war within, the good in me is finally winning and I am loving it that it is. As they say, all is well that ends well and if it is not well, then it is not the end. My perspective towards life has completely changed now and it has made me much more calmer in life. I am not angry anymore. In fact, I am just the opposite. I am myself now, with the people I know and with the people I don't. People with whom I interact with, tell Me that I glow now. And I feel it too. As hate makes you more darker, the goodness in you only makes you glow more brighter! :-)

Ignorance has always been the weapon of tyrants; enlightenment the salvation of the free.

-Bill Richardson

If 2012 was the coming of age for me, then 2013 is surely the year I find my salvation. I am very spiritual but before all of my energy was focused on what I lacked than then on what I already have. Being grateful and cherishing the little and simple things in life has brought this change in me. And now, gratitude has become a part of my life. I believe gratitude is like holy water for the demons within me. It is helping me become more calm and much more relaxed in life. Don't take me wrong. Relaxed doesn't mean lazy. Relaxed just means that I trust the doing of the universe more now and as I mentioned in my previous blog, I firmly believe now that I am a part of the grand design of the universe. I smile and give my respects to whomever I met because you never know, that person really needed it. I greet everyone with respect and I request everyone to only focus on the good that they have in their lives. I am now promoting Rocky in Kolkatta. So I make sure that I give honest answers to the questions that I am asked and not put a fake pretence of being the perfect guy when I clearly wasn't. Giving love and respect is really working in my favour as almost everyone either is humming the 'Rocky Bhai' tune or coming up to me and blessing me for Rocky. Trust me, that feels really very good! :-)

Courage is a kind of salvation.

-Plato 

Everything in life is a process. And eventually, all that we do turns into a habit. I am right now somewhere there. I know that this change has come in me for a reason. I love Orange now. I believe in the power of love. And I practice gratitude because I know that there are many things I am grateful for. I see the good in others and I am making peace with my inner hate and step by step, I am putting my demons to rest because that is where they belong. They, themselves have suffered long enough. At one point my demons were the only ones I had. But now, they need to go back to where they came from. I know I am right where I belong and each day, I will only progress into a better future. I urge you all to see life from a different perspective too. The perspective which has more good than bad. There are so many things in life we can be grateful. Try it someday. You will be amazed by happy you will feel. Hate doesn't make us strong. Love in the face of adversity does. We all have a choice you see. And I choose not to pull the trigger now … :-)

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am now The Good Guy … :-)

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

P.S. Be The Light.

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The Grand Design ...

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

-Melody Beattie

I have always believed in the universe. I have always been connected to it. Not just because my love for astronomy but also because of it's existence. We all came from the universe. And we are a part of it. All the ingredients that exist in us can be found out there, in the universe. For My, My Holy Power is the Universe because without it, I wouldn't had existed. This blog is kinda emotional. Even right now, when I am typing these words, I am in tears. No no. I am not sad. In fact, it is just the opposite. I am extremely happy. I am so happy that I am smiling and crying at the same time. I am right now in a state of bliss and a deep sense of gratitude towards the universe. So dear universe, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this moment. Yo have always believed in me. You always told me to believe in you and in your Grand Design. So ladies and gentlemen this blog is dedicated to The Universe and to The Grand Design of it ... :-)

Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.

-Henry Ward Beecher

I have never believed in co-incidence. I am a strong believer in destiny and in fate. I know that everything in life happens for a reason. And that reason is only for the good. I can look back in my life and say that I am the man today because of all that happened to me. And today, I thank all those moments. Good or bad, they made me who I am today. I have lost so much but in the same time gained so much. I have cried yet I always had a reason to smile. Whenever I felt alone I realised that angels were always there to guide me. The list can go and on. But what I am trying to tell you is that I now understand The Grand Design of the universe. It's beautiful plan for me when I was born. When my loving parents brought me in this world. I realise today that there are a billion things I can be thankful for. And a billion blessings I can count each day to be thankful for. There is a reason why I am crying these tears of happiness today. It is not because I am finding redemption, it is because the universe has always loved me even when I wasn't ready to love myself. Today, I feel this glow of love inside me. Today, I am finding happiness in the smallest of things. My favourite colour now is orange for it radiates positivity. I smile at everyone who meets me. I avoid my situations of anger. I try to see the good in everyone because I know that there is good in everyone. They just have forgotten about it. Instead of looking at the clothes they wear, I see into their eyes, I search for the beauty in their souls because everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to feel special and I want to be that guy who gives them at least some amount of happiness, even if that happiness lasts for a second, I want them to know they were loved, the same way, they make me feel. I have met so many people in my life and it is only because of those people have I learnt today how to love and be grateful. I thank you all for all the moments you have given me because I can proudly say that I truly lived in those moments. When I look up and say Thank You to the universe I can only wonder how amazing The Grand Design truly is ... :-)

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.

-Aesop

I am very happy that I have got into books. These books have really brought a drastic change in my life. And one of those books is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It is one of the best books ever written. Randy is no longer with us because he died of cancer. And The Last Lecture was written during his final days. What makes the book so beautiful is not the fact that Randy was a fighter but his spirit of positivity and love that he had and the wisdom that he shared with us before he left. That man truly lived! Not many know the beauty of life the way randy did. He lived every moment and even though he know that the clock was ticking he was truly grateful for every moment that he was alive. Sir, if you are looking down at us right now, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being an inspiration for me. For making me realise that life truly is beautiful and in the end, everything is going to be ok. All we have to do is believe. You see people, the universe works in mysterious ways and The Grand Design skives us things we never thought we deserved ... :-)

The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Yesterday, I was filming the promotional song for Enemmy. It was a beautiful day for me. I was with my crew, Irfan, Altaf and Mitesh. My Father was there. My Family had come over for lunch. My bestest buddy in the whole wide world Bhushan was there too. It was the perfect day. But do you know what made this day much more amazing? It was the fact that My Father was happy with me. He came and hugged me and I saw happiness in his eyes. Do you know how happy that makes me feel? The man who has given me so much, who sacrificed everything for me was happy with my work. He was in bliss. He was proud of me! I can't even begin to tell you how much I have waited for this day! To see my parents in joy, to laugh with my siblings, to be on a movie set doing the thing that I love the most! This day truly was worth the wait. But wait, there is more. Right after I gave my shot which consisted of 60 beats in 30 seconds I came in the vanity van just to see my Film, Rocky's Trailer on Tv! My friends, I have waited 6 years for this moment. Six long years to be in this state of bliss. To see my dreams coming true. I know how much I have ached for this day. How much I have cried alone in the dark. How much I have tried to stay strong. How much I have believed that one day that the time will come when I will see my dreams coming true. I know I am not perfect and I know that I have done my share of bad but I know that there is good in me too. If the universe can see it, then I wanna see it too. I know no matter how much I say Thank You to the universe it won't be enough because this beautiful universe of ours truly gives us everything and it gives it to us all the time. So what if it took 6 years for me! The truth is, it did happen and trust me, it was worth it! It was truly worth it! I am so happy today that I wanna share this happiness with all of you too and I am not afraid of it either. Happiness should be spread. Not be contained. Today I have realised that wars can't be won through hate, they can only end through love. You see, Happiness comes to us when we least expect not because we are lonely but because we deserve it. There are many reasons I can be thankful for and one of them surely is The Grand Design ... :-)

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

-Gilbert K. Chesterton

As I finish writing this blog, all I can say is that life is beautiful. Ask the boy who passed his exams or the girl who found true love or that dog who found a home. Or ask that boy who never believed in love but now is only grateful for it. Ask Randy how beautiful his life was. Ask Me how beautiful life is today. It is because I believe that in the end everything is going to be ok. And I believe in the grand design of things. I believe that the universe is always there for me. And I thank you all, my readers. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking out 5mins from your lives and reading my blogs. I thank my friends for always loving me. I thank my family for always making me realise that I am never alone. And I thank the universe for always being there for me and showing me the way. Expressing gratitude shouldn't be a duty, it should be the strongest emotion in the world! Right now, listening to Kesha's C'Mon for the 300th time and having tears rolling down my eyes, I can tell you for a fact that once we appreciate, I mean truly appreciate how blessed we are we are bound to feel happiness automatically. And if a tough-Mma learning guy like me can cry like a baby when felt happiness, why can't you? There is nothing wrong to feel happiness you know. Don't be scared that it may not last forever. The fact is nothing lasts forever! That is why we have to enjoy the moment and live it, for this moment will never come again. One day we all will be gone and the question is this that do you wanna live a life of insecurity or a life of positivity, happiness and gratitude. I choose the latter. And trust me, it's worth it! :-)

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am very lucky to be a part of The Grand Design ... :-)

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.

-John Milton

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

P.S. Be The Light. :-)

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March 2013 ...

Entry No: 36 ...

00:09am ...

Monday ...

25th March 2013 ...

God's Green Earth ...

Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul.

- Thomas Merton

Sorry it took me a while to write this entry of mine. I was in Italy. We were filming Rocky's romantic songs over there. Speaking of which the trailer of Rocky is now available to watch. Click the link above to view it. Rocky is all ready to release and touch wood the entire team is getting a very good response for it. The people are liking it. All in all, a good start. I will surely tell you all about Rocky before it releases. I gotto do whatever it takes to promote Rocky. But there is still time for that. This blog is about something we choose to ignore even though it is the most important part of our lives. Beyond all the gossip we do, the things we endure and the wars we fight, there is one thing we never choose to talk about. EARTH. I have seen this magnificent planet. I am living in it. Trust me, it is beautiful. God, if he is up there really blessed us with this beautiful planet. All fertile and all balanced and more than that, truly mesmerising. This is God's Green Earth.

As I mentioned earlier, I was in Italy. I love Italy. It is truly beautiful and it is a country we all at least should visit once. The people are very warm and kind and everyone dresses up like they are going to the prom. They have amazing restaurants and everyone over there eats donuts for breakfast! It is a place close to heaven in all aspects. But more than the people and the food it was the natural beauty of italy that took my breath away. We were filming in the interiors of italy and al though the temperatures were close to zero, it was absolutely beautiful. As the days passed, the weather became better and we were able to film at some of the most beautiful places on earth. We were travelling everyday after our shoots to different cities and even though the travelling use to take a toll on us, I managed to see Earth's natural beauty. You see, Earth is truly beautiful and contrary to popular belief, there is still a lot of green out there. But there was something I learnt in this trip of mine. When I saw the balance of beauty of God's Green Earth, I realised that there is more to this beautiful planet than the wars we fight to own it ...

When I turn 80, I can look back and say proudly that I have seen this planet's beauty. And I can say that I know why we are here. We are here to preserve this beautiful place, not destroy it. The lord gave us free will to use it for the good, not for the evil that has infected this beautiful planet. I realised that I have good in me too. I realised that when I saw greenery all around me. I saw it when I saw billion of stars in the night sky. I saw it when the rays of the sun pierced through the clouds to brighten the day. I saw it when I was near the ocean. I saw it when the sun everyday greeted me with it's warmth. I have seen this world's beauty. Beauty that is in all of us. Sadly, we have forgotten the importance of it. That we are all extra-ordinay people and even though it is difficult to break the norms of society, we should once in a while peak in and see how bright we can really glow. As the Legendary Actor Sir Amitabh Bachan once said, "Only When I burn from within, will you see my glow." We have all have the capacity to be great, to be better, to be good, all we have to do is find that source. My source has been God's Green Earth ... 

It has been 3 months since 2013 started and I am very happy that my new addiction this year has been Books. I have finished 6 of them already and there is this great hunger in me for more knowledge. Like there is this force in me which wants to learn more, read more and understand more. And maybe that is why my focal point has changed. Books affect me and touch wood, they are only making me a better person. Thanks to my buddy Bhushan, I read The Saint, The Surfer And The Ceo by Robin Sharma and in that it is said that the Universe is a friendly place and we should trust it and we should always speak positive words because they have the power to make us better and also the life we lead. I totally agree with this and they say na, when things happen for the good, they happen all at once! What better way to learn more about the universe than when you are going cross country in a van and witnessing God's Green Earth at it's purest form !?! To be honest, I believe all this was meant to be and I am so happy that this change has come in me. No, but wait there is more ...

We were in italy for 6 days and in these 6 days, I met some amazingly talented people who love their job as much as I do. Italians, who worked with us during our shoot. It was a beautiful experience. And at the last day before we packed our bags and came back home, we all had a dinner at a sri lankan restaurant where some amazing tamil music was being played and where Dad cooked lovely food for the entire unit! But while I was sitting there, giggling and laughing and having a good time and also learning a few coarse words in italian, I realised something more deeper. I realised that just as god's green earth was made to hold us all together, we were given the capacity to love and care for each other too. That night, no one was a bengali or a south indian or an italian. We all were just people, who came together in the spirit of friendship and we all had a great time doing so! We all can love you know. We can really care and I believe borders are the things that differentiate us. Religion differentiates us. Fear differentiates us. Not god. He never wanted division. He created this beautiful planet so we all could have a space in it, not kill each other for it. 

Before I go, all I can say is that God's Green Earth is a beautiful place and it shows us hope and strength. It tells us that we are as great as it is. That we have the capacity to change and to be better. I have realised this and I have vowed to myself that I will have a new approach towards life. I will forgive myself because I know I am not perfect. I will let go of my anger because I know it will only burn me. I will give everyone love because every one deserves it. I will be a better human being because I am a citizen of this beautiful planet. I am a part of God's Green Earth. 

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I have seen God's Green Earth ...

End Of Entry No: 36 ...

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Entry No: 35 ...

23:49Hr ...

Monday ...

11/03/2013 ...

Mumbai ...

Remember The Titans ...

This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. - Remember The Titans.

Remember The Titans. One of the finest films ever made. It was very real and heart-touching and at the same time thought provoking. That we have the power within us. Once this power is unleashed, we can change the world. We can make it a difference. The word Titans has been used a lot in the greek mythology. Titans were the ones who first ruled our planet until the gods defeated them. Yes, we all know that Zeus, the God of Gods used the blade of olympus to strike down the Titans, {this I have taken from the God Of War franchise} and that one blow ended the rule of the titans and set them on the path of ever-lasting damnation. But my point here is that even the gods were afraid of them! Imagine how much of power they possessed! Titans! The ones who fought the gods! That would had been one kick-ass of a showdown. But I am not here to tell my version of that battle. I am here telling you that even though those Titans were tall as sky scrappers and only are only available to read today in books and to play in games, I know certain individuals who aren't giants or who possess goliath like features but they are Titans nonetheless. Ladies and gentlemen meet My Titans ...

I have met many people in my life. And all of them have taught me something. And mostly all experiences have been good for me. For one day or the other I realise the worth of my existence and how important those people have been for me. But lately, I have taken a decision to only focus on the positive and respect the ones who spread the positivity and make me feel good about myself. There are people out there who are just plain cold and rude. Whatever their reason must be, they are the way they are and I have nothing to do with them anymore. I wish them well. But it is high time that I acknowledge the ones who have only given me love, warmth and positivity. Today, Me and Bhushan complete one year of knowing each other. It has been ages since I have had such a good friend in my life. I told him that when the time comes I won't bury but he will bury me that Fate should take me before him because I know I won't be the same after he goes. I love you bro. You are my brother and thank you for being there for me. I will always cherish you and our friendship. You are strong, composed and a complete gentleman. When kids today can't even pick up the phone and call their parents you have dedicated your life to your mother. You are truly god's blessing and we all love you very much. You are my Titan because you are the symbol  of goodness and with each passing day you show that I still have some amount of good left in me. Ladies and Gentlemen, Bhushan Tripathi is My Titan. :-)

Nathan and Boidurjo. Both haven't met each and neither have I met them but we three one common passion. Super heroes. I love The Punisher while Boidurjo loves Batman and Nathan is a Spider-Man fan. Fate brought us together and today even though we are 1,000 of miles apart, we love each other as brothers. Boidurjo aka Bruce, I love you bhai. Thank you for always being there for Me. You are My Titan because you teach me balance. And you show me that everything is possible. You remind me that I will always have potential to go that extra mile and one day inshallah bro, we will cook that meal. I promise you. Nathan, my buddy, my bro, my bhai. You are a complete gentleman. You always reply and you always take out time for me. You are My Titan because you show me life's simplest things always have the purest of beauties. You are a lovely family family man and you are truly blessed with a beautiful family. We will one day work together bhai. Even fate wants that to happen. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boidurjo aka Bruce and Nathan are My Titans. :-)

I can sit right now and be thankful to many titans of my life and I know that each and everyone of them deserve an paragraph of their own. But that means this blog will never end. But in other words I can that if you think that Men are the only Titans I know that you are highly mistaken. I know many many women who deserve to be called Titans. Ladies, I respect each and every one of you. You all have fought your battles and you continue to do so. Whether it is the girl who came from canada, or the girl who lost all that weight. The girl who still fights alone or the one who always put her best foot forward. The woman who sacrificed everything for her dreams or the one who has devoted herself for a greater cause. You all are My Titans. You are a symbol of strength and courage and you make me believe that there are no impossibilities and you as women can also fight the hardest of battles and walk on god's green earth with pride. Ladies, I salute you all. You are My Titans. :-)

This isn't a dedication or anything. Nothing sentimental either. This is the truth. One day, they all will be gone. One day, I will be gone. Our bones will turn into ashes and from ashes into dust but I promise you this, we will live on. For we are Titans. We are Warriors and we all are fighting. Some are fighting for dreams, some for love, some for appreciation and some for their very existence. But we are here and we walk tall, just like Titans. We are indestructible. We will shine bright. We embrace the darkness and find salvation in it. We sacrifice. We endure. We live on. Yes, we are immortals because we will leave our mark. We will make this world remember us, long after we are gone. We are Titans. The ones Gods fear. We are Titans because we are the symbol of strength. We are Titans because We will never give up. Until there is breath in our bodies, we will fight and we will win. We are Titans because we don't exist, we Survive.

This is Me Mahaakshay Chakraborty and We Are The Titans. And You Will Remember Us.

With All My Might,

R I S E.

End Of Entry No: 35 ...

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Entry No: 34 …

17:29Hr …

Tuesday …

04/03/2013 …

Mumbai …

If Life Was A Movie …

Last night, I was watching this movie titled Red Dawn. In the film, north korea invades the united states and seizes control. Of course, the americans fight back and eventually win. I liked the plot of the story. I played a game like that also a year ago I think. It was called Home Front. I even enjoyed the film. It had great action, hot babes and the bad guys got their asses kicked! But while I was watching the film, I was just wondering how life would had been if it is was just like a film. You know, everything all planned out, having it's perfect balance of drama, action, suspense, thrills and romance. How every character was would had been there as long as they were needed. Sometimes I wonder how My life would had been it was a Movie. It would had been something like this …

My life would had been full of action and excitement. I would surely be a Marine. When I would have opened my eyes I would be in iraq or Afghanistan, fighting the war for freedom and in the first few minutes itself would had been in an extra-ordinary fire fight! Of course I would had killed all the insurgents and would be titled as the guy who reminds of Frank Castle during his 3rd tour to Vietnam. The guy that would be narrating my story would use these words, "We knew there was a Frank Castle. The most fierce warrior the marines have ever seen. We thought He was the only one until we met Maxx Mccoy {that would had been my name in the film}!" He would continue, "If you think Payback is a Motherfucker … Well, then you haven't' met Maxx Mccoy." Kinda a cool, isn't it?

But that wouldn't had been all.To be honest, my film would never have an ending. It would have been an un-ending war sequence, one after the other. And after every scene, I am bruised and battered but I am stronger and tougher every time I return to the battlefield. Gosh! I so wish sometimes my life was a movie. To be honest, my movie would had been an escapism from the realities of the world. The realities that hit me every time I return from an outdoor shoot. Realities I can never escape. In My Movie, people would had been more sweeter and more understanding. Friends wouldn't take bathroom breaks and change topics because they don't wanna talk about it. Your best friends wouldn't be scared of you and hurt you every time by letting you down. Where emotions took a back seat and people would actually listen instead of making every damn discussion about themselves. Where women wouldn't be cold to kindness and care and would be rather bold and care free than stuck up. Where pain only existed for a scene or two rathe than every time you are alone with your thoughts. Call me a coward if you want too but I wish sometimes My escapism was permanent.

Do you know why I love my work so much? Because it is the only thing that keeps me sane. The only thing which keeps me on track. When I work, I am lost in it. Nothing else exists. Not the emotional baggage of the past, not the hate of the present, not the coldness of others and the hurt the ones close to you give you when they aren't there for you. My Work is my one way ticket towards my salvation and I pray from all of my heart that I always Work, for the rest of my life. And I never want to come back to reality. I am happy in my Work World. Where I play a different character everyday without dealing with the luggage it brings. Do you know why I am so angry? The answer is simple, PEOPLE. People man! I tell you! They Always let you down. I wouldn't mind being in a post-apocalyptic world where Machines rule the earth. With machines you don't have to worry of what would they think and how cold they will be when they get their opportunity at kingdom come. I think in one of my versions of my film or maybe even the sequel of my marine film, I will put in the plot of the terminator franchise. To be honest, I would do anything to Work and never come back to reality.

I am sorry I am grumpy. Don't take me wrong. I am trying a new approach towards life you see. One of my friends a while ago told me this. You wanna make a point, be Simple, Honest and Direct. I am doing just that. Or maybe trying too. I like typing these blogs. You are my virtual diary and I feel very good when I vent my heart out to you. To be honest, you are the only one who listens and understands. So here I am, on my way to my shoot. Towards my work, the only place where I truly belong, where I always wanna be. I know I have to deal with my realities and they will be a part of me. But sometimes, just sometimes I wish That My Life Was A Movie and I was the Actor, Producer and Director …

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this would have been a great movie …

End Of Entry No: 34 …

I love this song very very much. And Pink is one of the greatest artists and women in the world because of her honesty. I truly adore her and I am turned on by her rebellious nature and boldness. This song shows the intensity of love. The pain we all endure from it and the savages we become when we loose it.

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