The Number 32 And Everything In Between ...

“We tried to break him. Oh believe us, we tried. But this mortal was made of steel. And it wasn’t only his skin that we are talking about. His will was unbreakable. His determination to succeed became his fuel. His passion to make his dreams come true was were he found his strength. And as the years turned into decades, we knew that one day this mortal’s time would come and until then he would wait, ‘cause we gods know that the true test of a man is the patience he gains while he sees the world pass by, for even we gods fear The Fury Of The Patient Man.”

-The Book Of Prophecies.

The last blog I wrote was when I was in the states and it was a few days before my birthday. So I guess I should start from where I left off and what better place to start that than my birthday! If you wanna know what I did for my birthday, well, I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain! It was me, my brother rimoh and his friend annalise and the three of us left by 10am in the morning and thanks to anna and her car we reached within 30mins. Rimoh being the sweet heart brother he is got me the platinum flash pass which gave me access to all the rides while cutting the wait in the lines! I couldn't thank him more for that. This was rimoh’s and anna’s 1st time at six flags and by the time they went on their 5th roller coaster, they were gassed out and it was very cute to see them telling me to go to all the other rides without them, like two grand parents letting their grandson go and play. Well, as for me, I went on 10, oh yes, you read it right, 10 roller coasters that day! And these weren’t the child play coasters, I went on the toughest and most challenging ones at the park! And to add to my achievements I only screamed my lungs out on the 1st coaster I went on {X2} and after that I was just blinking away and was all smiles. I realised that day that I am indeed an adrenaline junkie and the ‘rush’ gives me a kick! In the future you never know I would be finally taking that Bungee Jump and Sky dive test after all. But all I can say is that my 32nd birthday was amazing! And I couldn’t have asked for more. I would want to thank all the people who wished me on my birthday but I also want to add that sometimes spending the birthday alone going through crazy roller coasters while your brother sits and recovers {lolz} is truly a very gratifying moment indeed.

"You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world."

-J. B. Smoove

After a few days, my mom, brother and sis came to La and we were delighted to see them there. For the 1st few days we took them to all the famous tourist spots in La and then My sis started her acting course at NYFA and my youngest brother joined La Fitness and trained regularly over there. For the next one month Dad and Mom did all the cooking. Me and Mom did all the cleaning and I did all the cleaning {since I have OCD}. It was an amazing experience to do everything on your own and watching all the latest movies at Universal City and of course receiving my packages from the United States Post Office. I also had my own P.O. Box key! But the things which I will always remember would be the Dance Classes at IDA, the gruelling Crossfit sessions at Depot Crossfit and my Comedy Improv classes at UCB. The dance classes were very challenging at first. I mean if you came to one of the classes and would had seen these amazing boys and girls and children, I am telling you that you would be in awe! They were absolutely fantastic and for the first few classes I was in the back of the line ‘cause I knew I had a lot to learn. But as the classes proceeded and I started to catch the Hip-Hop groove, I got my confidence and by week 3, I was one of the top leads in the class. I don’t mean to brag but trust me, when you are at par with one of the finest in the world, it is a proud moment to show off about. There was a teacher there and he was the most popular of all of them and he used to teach the monday class. For many mondays I was lagging behind ‘cause I couldn’t match up to his choreography. But I never gave up and one day, I think it was the 4 week of training, the teacher told me to meet him after class. I got nervous as I thought he would tell me to do some other class ‘cause maybe I wasn’t coming up to his expectations. But then, the magic happened. He came up to me and told me this. “I am so happy to see your progress! You are killing it in class! When I first saw you, I thought you wouldn’t catch up but I am so happy to see you transform!” I was left speechless and I could tell him was Thank You Thank You Thank You Sir! I had finally won his acknowledgement and for me that was a huge victory! And when I went to La, it was my top priority to visit the Ufc Gym in Rosemead. I did that and I got to tell you, it was the mecca of all the gyms! It was huge and state of the art and it was a Mma Fan’s dream! Training there was one of the best moments of my life and even though I wanted to go there everyday, I knew I couldn’t as it was nearly 40mins away from where I was staying and taking a 60 dollars uber ride everyday would had costed me a fortune on travelling alone! So for my luck, there was a Crossfit Box right next to my dance classes and even the timings were appropriate for me to train at both the places everyday! {4pm to 5pm Crossfit. 6pm to 7pm Dance.} The trainers at depot were very nice and kind and as the days passed my muscles and mind strength started to get the hang of it. In the weeks to come, I realised that Crossfit is the future of fitness and I am glad I had joined the revolution. There was a coach there called Marcel and he was my favourite coach and I knew I was his favourite student as well. Yes, I do agree I am a sucker for approval by my teachers and maybe I guess that is what pushes me further. There was this one time when I was snapchatting the box and I told coach {marcel} to say a few words. He did that for me without hesitation. But later did I know from his wife that he is very camera shy but he did for me ‘cause he really liked me. That was a huge compliment for me apart from the fact I reached my Max 1 Rep Pr on my Bench Press, Shoulder Press and Back Squat all ‘cause of his amazing guidance. I will never forget Coach Marcel and the lovely people at Depot Crossfit. Didn’t I mention before how the universe works in mysterious ways? Well, not only did I manage to learn Hip-Hop and do Crossfit 5 days a week but I also got the chance to learn Comedy Improv at UCB! I enrolled myself there when there was only one seat left and the level 1 showcase performance was being held one day before we were coming back to India. Talk about perfect timing! My classes were once a week on wednesdays and every class was a delight ‘cause I had the opportunity to do improv with some of the nicest people I have ever met. Our teacher Tim taught us a lot and I know that I am a more relaxed and confident actor now than I was before. My level 1 and level 2 classes in Mumbai were a blessing for me and this classes gave me the confidence to always be the 1st student to do the exercises even though I knew I was making mistakes. By the end of the 8 weeks I realised that as an actor I still have a long way to go and given a chance I would keep on learning the art of improv to get better and also more funnier. The reason I told you all this is because I had promised you all that I would come back and share my experiences with you and to sum it up all I can say is that I am truly blessed to have been in the City Of Angels and I would love to visit it again very very soon.

"I feel the older I get, the more I'm learning to handle life. Being on this quest for a long time, it's all about finding yourself."

-Ringo Starr

But now I am home and even though it took me nearly 2 weeks to get used to the mumbai traffic again, I can now say I am back home and back to the grind in full swing. You see, this is who I am and this is who I will always be. A man on his personal quest to find his greatness. For many these talks are beyond spiritual and even border line boring. But for me it is a part of me and what better way to express them than through my blogs. I have come a long way from my 1st blog entry. For crying out loud I am 32 already! And sometimes I can’t believe myself that I have reached my 30’s. {although people say I look like 27 or something! Lolz!} But I am glad I am getting older ‘cause in this process I am also getting wiser. I know what my priorities are, I know what I like and I don’t like and what I can stand for and the things that still make me weak. I have come to terms with myself and facing and embracing my realities has only made me a much more stronger person. If you go to my Facebook page or my twitter page, you will see fans and haters asking me about my next venture. And the reason I don’t answer them about it is because I am waiting for the right time to come. Over the years I have become a very private person and some things I know I will never share under any circumstances. Now whether I am liked or hated for it is not my concern. This is my choice and I stand by it. I see the world go by in front of me. I see how some are favoured while many still are waiting for their moment to come. And for a very long time, I know I was running away from my own reality ‘cause I was too scared to accept it. But now, I think since a year, I sense a deep calm within me. A calmness I never felt before. A knowing I never sensed before. A belief I never knew I had. And this feeling has freed me in a way. And do you know why I don’t worry? It’s because I have many things to be grateful for. I feel those blessings with immense love and joy within my heart and I see how the world is so beautiful in front of me. I am no longer a figment of my past but the architect of my grand future. I know, I just know with the utmost belief that one day very soon my time will come. And no matter how many right now get their chance to shine in the sun I know I will get that opportunity also and until that day comes I will grind and I will give and I will be patient and I will train and give my heart and soul to my purpose ‘cause when that time will come I will make the most of it. So I do Mma. I do Crossfit and read my novels and take online courses on Greek and Roman Mythology and do my Voice Practice and improve my diction and take more Improv Classes ‘cause only when I will give it my all will I be worthy of the greatness that is coming to me.

"The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness."

-Norman Cousins

But I also do other things too. I have other passions also. Passions and feelings which drive me and give me more motivation everyday. Did I tell you that I am competed hooked to american television? Whether it is Supernatural or the latest Designated Survivor, my Tv Schedule is filled throughout the week and I still have over 60 shows to watch! And now thanks to Netflix, Hotstar and very soon Amazing Prime and of course fast-speed internet, streaming has become a lot easier and also a whole lot fun! And speaking of new shows I highly recommend Designated survivor and Lethal weapon. Both are binge worthy shows. In one you see a common man take the responsibility of the leader of the free world and in the other you see the friendship of two people who are poles apart! And besides television this is now gaming season which means many great games are on the horizon with Gears Of War and Call Of Duty to name a few. But the game which I am waiting for with awaited breath is Sniper Ghost Warrior 3! Can you imagine being a special forces navy seal sniper deep in the heart of enemy territory where you are all alone and where you have to stock your target {or prey} for days, do proper recon and then under the cover of mother nature give that bastard that bullet with his name written on it! It is like a dream come true and very soon I will have the opportunity to play that game! So you see, there are many things in life a person can be happy and excited and grateful about. All we have to do is open our hearts and not just our eyes to the beauty of life.

"Clarity and consistency are not enough: the quest for truth requires humility and effort."

-Tariq Ramadan

I write these blogs because I like expressing. Well, I like expressing things which I can with all of you. There are still parts of my life which are unknown to the world and I would like to keep it that way. There should always be some mystery left you see. But the reason this blog entry was a long one was because I wanted it that way. If you remember there was a time when I had a new entry every week but now they are only once in every 2 months and even though I agree that is a long gap between entries I feel this has been my own evolution in a way. To only say things when it is the most important to do so. But just because I don’t write that much doesn’t mean I don’t feel. In fact I feel more deeply now. I feel my mind opening to knowledge when I see the lectures on the origins of the myths of the greeks and romans. I feel a rush of excitement when I annihilate demons on mars in the game Doom. I feel like laughing my ass off whenever I see an episode of South Park and I feel this dark joy whenever I read a chapter in American Psycho. Yes, I do feel but I guess with age, comes evolution. Evolution I am accepting with open arms and with each passing day I become more calmer and I observe more and life becomes more clearer. I know how to edit people who don’t support my growth and to smile when needed. I know when to be in charge and behave as the eldest in the family and also be alone at times when I need to think. I hope that whatever journey you are going through, you go through it with an open heart. Learn to forgive. Become wiser. Embrace the hurt that comes your way and always and I mean always have the faith in the universe and believe that you are taken care off. :-)

"The longest journey is the journey inwards. Of him who has chosen his destiny, Who has started upon his quest for the source of his being."

-Dag Hammarskjold

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Story.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

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Forging A Destiny Through Acts Of Randomness ...

"And so the trials and tribulations will begin for this mortal. The mortal we chose out of the many. A boy who would transform into a man through iron and steel. And we will make him the warrior that he is destined to become. But what we never thought, what we never expected or ever saw coming was that this warrior had a power of his own. He had the will to challenge his own mortality. He had the courage to look fate right in the eye and say, "I bow down to none."

-The Book Of Prophecies.

The 1st day when you enter a Boxing or Mma class, you are excited as a little boy with candy. You want to hit all the bags as hard you can and you want to show your master that you know everything already. You take up all the opponents he throws at you and eventually 'cause of your foolishness you get your ass handed to you. Then, when you are down at the mat, beaten, you realise you have a long road of training ahead of you to become the fighter that you dream to be. And then, as the days go by you become more focused and calmer and you become selective. In other words, you evolve and become better. The same thing goes with me and my blogs I guess. When I started writing these blogs, they used to be once a week almost for 2 years or so. Of course, I'm not saying that they all were bad but now, when I go back and view them, well, let's just say they weren't presented that well. But now, I know I am selective about my topics. I know that whenever I open my laptop and start writing, it has to have some deeper meaning to me. So ya, writing less doesn't affect me anymore. But writing with purpose and depth truly does.

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

-Steve Jobs

Today I am at home resting and recovering from a fever which kicked in yesterday. I felt a terrible pain on the left side of my body and I thought it was just soreness from the crossfit session I did on monday. But when my kicks weren't going high enough and when my stamina was depleting faster than the air from a torn ballon, I realised that a fever was creeping up on me. The doctor told me today either it is a throat infection which is the devil or over-training. Al though I know the throat infection has done this, I am not taking any chances with pushing myself unnecessarily towards an over-training state. And yes, the rest has really helped. I can already feel the cells in my body recovering and within a day or two I will be back on track. And by back on track I mean listening to my body more and doing 'Smart' training instead of 'Balls-Out' training. And speaking of training I recommend everyone to try Crossfit! It is absolutely revolutionary! To be honest, when I was in Phuket, I was completely against the Crossfit Training 'cause I didn't know how it would help me achieve my goals. But since the last 45 days in the Crossfit Training world I can tell you it is the best thing that fitness and science has to offer today. There are of course many gyms which provide crossfit training and also like a 1,000 websites which do the same too. If you are looking for a solution to achieve your fitness goals by just being in the gym for only 60mins, well, then crossfit is for you!

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves."

-William Shakespeare

Staying at home does have it's advantages as well. I get to spend more time with the pets. I get to catch up on all my favourite tv shows. I get to read all my comics through the marvel comics app. And I get to sit alone and count my blessings and see how many things there are there for me to be grateful about and look up at the Universe and say, "Thank You". I hope you do that also. You know the feeling-immense-gratitude-part. At first, it may feel all superficial and funny and weird but as your progress into this habit in finding the good in everything, you will eventually, by default do that and later on, even in your weirdest and saddest of moods, you will see the light in the darkness and automatically feel great about everything. As I had told in my last blog that I promised myself that I would never sit idle again and I am proud to say that now 'Staying Active' has become my life's mantra. And for the record, staying active doesn't mean that you have to run marathons or climb mountains or stay out throughout the day. No. Staying active means that you emerge yourself in activities which are productive for you. And those activities can literally mean anything. It can be bungee jumping 5 times in a day or writing your 1st book or just being with yourself and being content with what the universe has offered to you.

"As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time."

-Denis Waitley

I just finished reading my 7th book of the year. It was called 'Intensity' and yes, as the name goes, it was truly intense! It was by far one of the best thrillers I have ever read and every page kept me at the edge of my seat! I still have 5 more books to go in order for me to finish my Goodreads Reading Challenge. And my next read will be 'The Blood Defence.' It is a courtroom drama/thriller and the author is the famous lawyer who fought the O.J. Simpson case. I am very much excited to read it! Ooohhh, I love thrillers! Do any of you read? If you do, then trust me, you have a best friend right there in those books. Books teleport you to a world where you are filled with these amazing characters that you bring to life and as the stories go ahead, these characters become alive in your head and in a way become a part of you. Whenever I am engrossed in a book, I loose track of time and that is how deeply submerged I get in my book-reading world. I still can't believe that I am the same boy who took 2 months to finish Jurassic Park when I started reading it in school. I never knew that reading novels would eventually become such an important part of my life.

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."

-Tony Robbins

You all must know by now that I am a gadget freak and I get excited about new electronics and apps and updates and how I can connect one device to another and make the machine into a bad-ass transformer look-a-like. Well, thanks to the suggestion of Anna {his name is Ganesh} I recently installed the Office's Surround system at the flat and connected all the devices to it. And with Netflix now in India I connected my account with the apple tv and whenever I am there I am either watching Sherlock or watching funny 'epic fail' videos on youtube. And speaking of youtube, I always go into 'freeze mode' when I see 'Sniper' in the 'suggestions for you' section. Imagine blinking your eyes, drinking a glass of water and cleaning the table from the dust the air poured in and then suddenly when your eyes see the word 'Sniper' you stop doing everything and become transfixed to that word. I  automatically get transported into this fantasy realm where I am a special ops sniper sent on the most deadliest mission in order to save the world. How do I explain this to you? How do I make you feel how I feel when I see myself inserting those .50 cal bullets into the cartridge. With the rain making it's presence felt on the earth outside my base camp. With thunder and lightning proving mother nature's point that you don't screw with her. How can I show you how serene it feels to be all alone in the heart of the jungle amongst those beautiful animals the god created? How do I show you the beautiful terrains and landscapes that I crawl and walk through to get the perfect aim for the terrorist I am assigned to send straight to hell with a bullet with his name written on it? How do I begin to express my happiness when I know I went through Sniper training and I was pushed by my drill sergeants to become the most lethal warrior in the history of the world? How can I show you the tears of joy in my eyes when I finally see that scumbag through the scope of my rifle and just before I squeeze the trigger I look up at the heavens and say a prayer and thank the powers that be for making me this lone wolf who went through hell and back, who survived and embraced the horror of pain and who now is doing an act of valour by ending the life of a monster who only deserves punishment? I guess I won't ever be able to make you understand what I see and feel 'cause maybe sometimes the best experiences are felt when you feel them yourself.

"Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something."

-Ralph Marston

So why the topic such as "Forging a destiny through acts of randomness"? And why would I write whatever popped up in my head without a certain 'order'? Well, that was the idea to begin with, wasn't it? More than making a point to all of you, my readers, I wanted to make a point to myself. And this 'making point' intervention came only a few days ago when I was reading an article on Tarot Reading and Astrology and Numerology. Al though I respect the people who practice it and also the people who believe in it, I personally don't anymore. I am a man of science and what all my courses in Astronomy and Astro-Biology have taught me is that whatever is backed up by years and years of data is the hard proven fact and nothing can challenge that. And to make my belief in science and Free-Will more gratifying was when I saw the last episode of DC's Legends Of Tomorrow where it was mentioned that we all are the Masters Of Our Own Fate and nobody or no entity has the right or power over us. Even my favourite actor Jake Jyllenhal believes in the power of the universe and sees the Signs and Signals it lays in front of us. Of course, I am just a mortal who is giving his own point of view and I know I will be challenged for this but what I am trying to say is that there is a major difference in walking the path laid in front of you and letting someone else decide what path you need to walk on. A part of me does believe and is also convinced that I am meant for things that I can't even believe to imagine myself. But a part of me also believes that I can't let a prediction or a card or a number dictate my actions towards my future. Whatever I am today, whether it is good or bad or simply screwed up, I am 'cause of my own choices and actions. And I made those choices 'cause something deep within me told me to do so. And since the day I was born, I have always done the things which have brought me a certain degree of joy and happiness and a certain amount of contentment. I have trained in the heat and also embraced pain in the cold. I have bled and cried and have gone to hell and back, all with my own will. Today, there is this uncontrollable power in me. A quest to learn more. A positivity which can't be broken by any negative encounters I face. Today I have the power of belief and I am convinced 100% that my time to shine in the sun will come. And when it does I will be ready for it. So now, writing this blog and being in this moment, I have come to learn that there are only two things you should depend upon. One, is the Trust in the Mighty Universe. And Two, the belief in your own capabilities. So that is why I walk in the path laid in front of me. I don't crib about the things that I thought we were meant to be mine or which slipped through my fingers. I don't complain about the things I don't have and which others get without putting in the effort. I don't mind that I have to wait in line while others get the fast pass. I do these things today because I know there is a plan for me and not because I believe that some stone or some colour or some number is going to change my destiny or fate.

"Actions are the seed of fate deeds grow into destiny."

-Harry S Truman

So, my dear readers I urge you to believe in yourselves. Believe that you and the universe are always tuned in together and trust your own instincts and trust what the universe gives you and I promise you when you truly accept these things, you will find peace and when you find peace, you will find joy and when you will find joy, you will eventually find your purest form of being and that being which is inside of you will thank you for it. Don't care what society thinks of you. Don't care how much people will talk behind your back or will bitch about you. It is their job and they will continue to do so no matter how great you will become one day. You only have one job to do and that is to get up, dress up and show up every single day until your moment comes. We all come with our destinies and our own fates. We all come with making this world a better place to live in so become that person. Don't end up being the person people want you to be. Be the individual people follow rather than the person who follows the crowd. It takes courage to be abnormal. To be left out of the crowd and walk in the wilderness alone. But in the end it is courage that truly counts. I know I have made choices which are not liked by many. And I know many of my choices have also pushed people away. But whatever the cost is I am willing to bat on it. I am willing to do what my gut tells me too. And no matter how tough it gets I am never going to stop. And I hope neither do you.

"A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."

-Jean de La Fontaine

This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I Am The Master Of Fate. The question is, are you?

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.
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