Monday, 15 April 2013

A Force Of Nature ...

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

Life has changed. It has changed for the better. And as each day goes by it gets better and better. Like wine. I am proud of myself. Not for the way I look now or the way I treat people. It is because I have evolved from the man I was. And I am still evolving. Today I look for the good in people and the good in me too. The world shows you what you wanna see. It is as simple as that. Before I was all dark and angry and twisted but today, I see myself in a new light. If you meet me today, you will see me covered in orange because Orange is bright and the only way to be positive is to believe that we can glow. But I think I have already told you guys about this in my previous blog. And something tells me that I have your support as well. I thank you for that. But this blog isn't a repeat copy and paste feature. This is about something else. This blog is of origins and what I truly want. I know if I say 'War' and 'Battle' and 'Darkness' you may think I am going Sith Mode again. But no, I am not. I am positive now and I have promised myself that I will always see the good in everything. This blog is about a Force that drives us. A force which was given to us when we were born. A Force Of Nature. You see we are who we are. And no matter what we do, we can never change that. As they say, "You Can Take The Dog Out Of The Fight. But You Can Never Take The Fight Out Of The Dog." …

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
I have always been a Fighter. I have fought all my life. And I know that I will always keep fighting. Before all my energy was focused on the wrong set of ideas. I was more focused on jealousy and the lack of happiness and which guy is dating whom and which girl is doing what etc etc. But today I have reached a place where I know that I can't please everyone. I have simply stopped caring what people think of me and how important it is for me to 'fit in'. Today, I plan to 'Stand Out' and make my own mark wherever I go. But in the midst of all the calm that is now my life, a thought lingers in my head. A voice that doesn't plan to shut up. It is like an echo. A reverberation affect to all that I do. And the same words keep repeating over and over again. "You know who you are. You know what you have to do. And you know what you miss the most. You want it back, don't you? That missing piece of the puzzle. That one thing which completes you. You hunger for it. You lust for it. You desire it. I know you are good now. You have taken a positive approach to things. But still, still there is that want, isn't it? That want which never dies. That want which makes you who you are. You know what you miss. You miss Your War. You miss your Fight and you want it back. You want it back so bad! Don't You?" 

Is it a crime, to fight, for what is mine?
Yes, I miss my fight. I really do. I need it. I need it so bad. I wanna wake up in the morning knowing that I will fight. Knowing that today I will give more than I gave yesterday. I want to feel pain. I want to feel my muscles completely sore. I wanna see cuts and bruises on my body. I want to feel complete. And My Fight is the only thing that makes me feel like that. I am Home when I am at the Battlefield. There lies my purpose. There lies my true calling. The universe has always listened to me. It has always given what I wanted. And now, I want my fight back. I so want it! I feel complete when I am training. When I am working. I know many people out there will tag me as an outcast. But that doesn't matter to me anymore. My purpose lies there. With my blood, sweat and tears. I don't know if you can relate to the way I feel but this is the way I feel right now. And I asking all of you to ask that for me too. Calmness is good but it isn't my salvation. My salvation lies in the giving of the soul. Giving myself completely to my cause. For that is where Mimoh becomes Mahaakshay. And right now, I am sub-quoting lines from the great Marther Luther King but it is very important that I do so in order to say what I actually wanna say, so here goes. "I have a dream. And in that dream I never stop. I never stop the giving. I do it everyday. Even when my body is broken. Even when I haven't slept for days. When I haven't even eaten. I never stop. Even when I don't see my family for months. Loose all my friends and have forgotten a woman's touch, I have a dream that I never stop. War is the place I call home. The sound of battle sounds like temple bells. The pain only makes me stronger. And The Punishment my body endures only makes me Indestructible. I Have A Dream, A Dream In Which I Never Stop."

Better to fight for something than live for nothing.
I am not grumpy right now. No. I am just feeling incomplete. I know negativity creates more negativity and for the record this isn't a complaint. It is a requirement. It is a need that I want. It has been with me for all this while but now it is out there. All I want is for it to come back to me. My hunger. My need. My want. I want it all back. I can right now openly confess that if you give me all the riches in the world in one hand and my fight on the other, I won't even blink twice to choose my fight. Since this is a blog of honest confessions, I am admitting that I am not me when I calm. Calm is not the end game for me. Until I die I wanna fight. I never want to come home and chill. I want to be out there, fighting my fight. No matter what the cost is. I always wanna keep on fighting. I know I have this great power in me. This unstoppable force which wants to be unleashed. I admit today that I closed the lit on it too tightly. But as they say, "Cage The Beast For Long And The Beast Gets Angry." The Beast within me is banging that door. It wants to come out. Thinking of it right now, I don't know why I shut it away in the first place because that beast is my source of power. That Beast is a Force Of Nature to be reckoned with. And it longs for War! It longs for Battle. It longs for the never-ending struggle my soul signed up for in the 1st place …

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
I usually write 5 paragraphs per blog. It is like a thing I do whenever I write. To portray my message or something. And I know now that this is the last paragraph of this blog although I don't want it to be. I want to vent out. I want to look up and tell the universe to give me back my war. To give me a real fight. For this power in me is growing everyday and now the whispers have becomes screams! They yell! They want their freedom. The monster wants to come out. But this time, the monster doesn't want to burn the world. It just wants to come out. It just wants to fight. The monster wants his war. He wants me to feel the pain, the anguish and the suffering only to make me stronger. The Monster within is a Force Of Nature and I beg the universe to let him out for that is who I am. That is who I will always be. Before I go I just want to say that we all are driven by purpose. We all need a fight and we all want to achieve great things. My fuel was always my fight. And I know no matter how good I become, I will always need it. Don't take me wrong, I am not the bad guy anymore. I just want My Fight back. I want my identity back. I want to be out there where I belong. I want that dream of mine to come true. I want it to never end. There is a reason why I loved The Punisher, Hulk, Wolverine and Ghost Rider so much. They have always been my vents. They have always been there to make me realize who I truly am. All these may have chosen the wrong path but their intentions were always noble. I didn't realize that before but today I do. I guess maturity does to you. It makes you realize the difference and gives us the power to choose. So Dear Universe, I know you are listening. You know what I am capable off and now I also know that monsters aren't that bad, they also need vents. Just like us. I think the time has come you let My Monster out too. For he speaks to me every moment and he says one thing to me over and over again … "Set. Me. Free."

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and I am A Force Of Nature To Be Reckoned With. Even The Universe Knows That.

With All My Might,

Your No.1 Fan,

Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

P.S. Give Me A Real Fight!

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