Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Alternate Realities ...

"I Have A Dream. And In That Dream I Never Stop."

- Mahaakshay Chakraborty

Hello my fellow bloggers. Sorry haven't been on time. In fact, nowadays, for a while now I haven't been a regular blogger. I can't have any excuse for that. But I ask myself, what is the point of blogging? I don't know who reads it, who doesn't. Before, when I started blogging, it was all about reaching out there and telling people that I exist but now, when I think of it, does it really matter? I don't know. The maximum I do now is tweet about my new blogger entry. That also sometimes, if I am up to it. People man! Ya! I have been living with them for the last 28 years and I still haven't figured them out. It is because of people I get these mood swings. And it is these people who push me to the brink of insanity. The ones who care and the ones who hate. Everyone reacts to emotions in different ways. Some cry, some drink or eat or just become quiet. Me, on the other hand, after a long process of wait has learnt the technique of slipping into my alternate realities. What are alternate realities? Well, you are just about to find out.

What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.
I think I have reached a point in my life where I have just stopped caring. I mean, at first it did affect me how people treated me and whether or not I was important for them or not but now, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. I know I do the things I do because I care. Sure, they may not be the popular thing to do but I know they are the right thing to do. I don't mind being tagged as the 'villain' or 'the bad guy' or even the 'devil' as some project me to be. One day, very far down the line, when I am gone, they will say I was right. And trust me that is what will matter. But right now, I know I have my alternate realities. It is very difficult to cope up with the remarks and advices and opinions of others when clearly you don't see them coming. Call me a kid, immature or even worthless but I am glad I have my alternate realities as my escape route 'cause whenever I go there I at at peace and to be honest, I never want to come back from them. I recently saw Oblivion. I loved that film. I thought how cool it would be to be that guy you know. In a post apocalyptic earth. The only guy alive. I wish I was alone sometimes. All by myself. That would be one cool alternate reality you know. You may think I will go crazy and shoot myself in the head after a while but trust me, the shit I deal with everyday being alone feels like paradise.

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.
As you know that I am a video game addict and video games have always helped me to drift to other realities. And as I play First Person Shooter games a lot, it is very easy to connect to those worlds. I have always loved to be a soldier, fighting the good fight, {I think I have mentioned that a thousand times already} but games like Battlefield and Call Of Duty really help me make that alternate reality some what true. Gears Of War has also always been a pleasure. I know I am taking the 'Good' path of life but to be honest there was a certain dark joy in me that came alive when I chainsawed those bad-ass ugly scrubs. And recently I got this new game called Sniper Ghost Warrior 2. Even though Ign gave it only 5 stars on 10, the idea of being a sniper behind enemy lines completely fascinates me! That is why I keep on telling that I have a dream and in that dream I never stop. I never stop fighting. I never stop the war because for me, fighting a fight is more peaceful than dealing with the reality I face everyday. To be honest, war is my escapism and I am a kid on his birthday when I am imagine myself in a war-alternate-reality.
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
You all also know that I am a hardcore Mma Addict. I have been learning Mma for the last 2 1/2 years now and trust me, it just keeps getting better and better. I have seen so many guys come and try Mma but only after the 1st session, they have gone towards the locker and never returned. I on the other hand, have seen so many new faces but only one constant. My own. Like for today example, I went to the gym all by myself and trained for an hour. There was no trainer. There was no buddy. It was just me, with my music and my sweat. And every minute of that was worth it for I know I invested all that time and energy to a cause worth going through the pain. And believe it or not, no matter whatever I am going through at any given day, when I enter that Mma Class room, all my worries disappear. Like they never even existed. I have this alternate reality where my parents send me to america, all alone for 6 months because I convince them that I wanna learn Mma. They rent a studio apartment for me and I join the Ufc Gym and there I train day and night and in the hours between I work in restaurants to earn my minimum wages. Imagine, day in and day out, I just train. I train and I never stop.
The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask.
No, I am not in a foul mode nor am I upset. I am just having a reality check. {Ha ha! Chuckles} Truth be told, this is who I am. In fact, in all of these movies and video games and sports, I find myself and that makes me feel very happy because I know that there is more to me than the reality that I am living everyday. There is a lot of untouched potential in me just waiting to burst out. And maybe that is why I guess these alternate realities exist in the first place. I know one day I will get a chance to live those alternate realities too. I just know it in my gut that my calling for greatness will one day come to me. But until then, I will fight in the reality that I live because that is what I have done. I have nothing to be ashamed about or feel guilty about. I have done good and bad. And I have made my peace wit god and with the ones whom I have wronged. {Well, to be honest not with all of them because some of them I really hate and will hate until I die} And for those who believe in the good in me, thank you and for those who will always think I am the bad guy, well, you can just kiss my ass. :-)
Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and these are My Alternate Realities.
With All My Might,
Your No.1 Fan,
Mahaakshay Chakraborty.

No comments:

Post a Comment