How should I start this blog? I mean, should I do a shout-out feature? Or should I dedicate this Blog to someone? To be honest, this week, only one thing is going around in My mind. That sound the bottle makes when you open it. You know, 'Pop'! What I am trying to say is that when you open the bottle, when you hear that sound, there is no going back for that bottle. I mean, you can close the lid but you can't un-pop the bottle you know. That is the state I am in now. I am right now facing My truth. I am right now face to face with My true self. And no matter how good it feels to know the truth, it is scaring the shit out of Me! I have tried to have this conversation with so many people, you know about why we are here, where we are going and all I get as answers are, "Mahaakshay, chill! Why are you so serious? Relax. Enjoy life! Don't be so philosophical." Basically, I never got any answers from anyone. So I started asking this question to Myself. Everyday, I asked these same questions to Myself. I never got any answer. I tried going to quiet places, Holy places, places where sages have been before. Spent more time with children and the elderly. Still, No answer. I thought maybe this is the answer, that there is no answer. That life consists of only questions and the answers only appear to us in the after life when we will be judged. So as time passed by I started forgetting the questions, I started forgetting that I also ever asked them. I was becoming like the people who told Me all those things. And I also started behaving like them. Life was moving on. Time wasn't stopping. And I thought, man, I think I was at fault. I shouldn't be thinking so much. But then suddenly, it happened …
Ya. Somewhere between My responsibilities, My duties, My Faults, My Mistakes and My Strengths and Weaknesses, I heard that sound. And then suddenly, all the other sounds disappeared. No one else was seen. Words meant no meaning and all I could feel … was peace. Even right now, as I am writing this blog, I can feel that truth all around Me. That Truth which reminds Me who I truly am. And no mater how much Love I get, no matter how much Hate I observe, deep down, inside of Me, I know who I am. And this is who I will always be. A while back I wrote a Blog in which I said that we are who we are and I second that notion once again this time because it is true. We can run away from the truth the world throws at us but we can't run away from the truth that is inside us 24/7. Trust Me, I have tried but I always go back to My origins. I used to first feel very scared of it. I used to tell Myself, that I can be better than who I am. But you know what, accepting your truth, accepting who you truly are is the best version of who you can ever be! I guess that is the reason I heard that sound. That sound which made Me realize that I was complete the whole time. Just that I didn't come to terms with it. But not anymore am I running from it …
I am a part of the Indian Film Industry where whatever we do reflects us as human beings. I have been learning that for a very long time, so, in order to get more Fan following and admirers we start to fake ourselves. We show only the good side of ourselves so that the world sees us as these Perfect beings who can never be flawed. But I am not like that and I will never be like that. I am proud to be who I am and the truth is that I am flawed. But there is another truth, and that is I know My flaws and I am working on them. Making them go away one by one. One of My friends told Me that I am showing too much hate in My blogs and also in My tweets. Well, I don't know what to say to that. I am not a hateful person but yes, My true self embraces the Hate. I am a Fighter. Always have been, always will be and when you are fighting for yourself, love won't get you anymore. In a recent interview with Enlighten Magazine, I told them Love can be manipulated for more reasons than one. But Hate is pure and I see that today. On twitter, I have many people who love Me and I have the equal amount of people who hate Me. And since that 'Pop' sound, I kinda like them both. They say, 'The Truth Sets You Free.' Yes, it has indeed set Me free, for now, I know who I am. There are many names you can call Me. Complicated, Loner, Weird, Boring, Selfish and so on. But I like calling Myself Mahaakshay because I know that I am many things and in the same time I am not what people want Me to be.
I don't know what war you are fighting. I don't know what you are going through. I hope someday I do. But until I do, I will pray that you hear that sound too. That you find your Truth too. Trust Me, we all are here for a purpose and we all are unique in our own ways. It doesn't matter what the world calls you. People will always have opinions. Let them talk. Some will do it because they think they are better than you. Some will do it because they care. But trust Me, once that bottle pops, none of those opinions will matter because you will know the one thing that you always wanted to know … the Truth. Trust Me, accepting the Truth is scary. it takes you to a place where you are too afraid to go but before I go I ask you this, do you want to live a life which is based on a lie that you created because you were too afraid or do you want the Truth which will set you free? … The choice is yours …
This is Me, Mahaakshay Chakraborty and this is My Story.
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